i havent had the internet since my last entry. i had it yesterday actually. but it wouldnt let me on here. cuz i have the mywebsearch thing and it doesnt like some sites. so yeah. HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR!!! yay. i cant wait for this year to be over with. and its just started. so thats saying something. maybe i should create a time machine. just to see what it would be like in the future. probably a lot worse. but i dont know. im bored. i have to get ready to go to work soon. i hate work. yesterday was the worst day every at work. i had to work with other dumbass baggers that didnt like to work. so i had to do everything. and i dont like working. and i wasnt in the best of moods yesterday. cuz i had one of my bad feelings. and i think it was that i lost eric as a friend. cuz he wanted to know if i liked him enough to go out with him. and i told him no i dont like him like that and that hes just a friend and that really hurt him. and now he hates me. but thats ok i guess. i think i have to work with him again tonight. so im gonna be doing all the damn work again. i got to see jay on new years eve! and he kissed me. but i dont think he loves me anymore. i mean, he says he does. but hes with that other chick. and he tells me that i cant tell him i love him on his facebook. and i mean i understand why. cuz she can see it. but i cant say i love him on the phone either. cuz he doesnt say it back. hes just like ok uh huh. and it really sucks. cuz i really do still love him. and i want to be with him again. but hes with that chick. and he gets to see her everyday at school. and before new years eve, i hadnt seen him in almost four months. and i havent had sex in almost four months. but i miss him so much. i just wish that i could have him back. but thats not very likely to happen. resolutions: NO sex, drinking, lying, cheating, stealing, or nail-biting. cheating as in like on boyfriends if i have any this year. stealing as in boyfriends. and im trying not to lie. i was gonna do swearing but thats gonna be impossible for me. so yeah. im gonna go now. ttyl. byebye.

im really fucking pissed the hell off. and i dont miss talking to alex anymore. i wanna kill the bastard. but that will come in time. and believe me, it will fucking happen. i hate the fucking bastard so much. hes caused me way to much fucking pain. and i plan to show him just how muuch hes caused me. and then some bitch! and britny is gonna watch him die. and then she is gonna die too. and that will be the end of all that betrayal. so yeah. g2g. mamas coming.

yeah. im really fucking bored. and my neck hurts really bad. and i miss jay. and i miss talking to alex. and i have like a lot of fucking problems. and i dont know what the hell to do about them. so im just gonna sit here and look like shit and feel like shit. so yeah. buhbye.

bored. christmas was good. got a lot of clothes this yeah. like last year. but i still got a lot of stuff. so it was a good year. me and alex are talking. its still a little weird. but it works for now. im bored. and im going to bed soon. ttyl.

i got a bunch of stuff! it was a really good christmas this year. and we only had one present that someone already had. and that was the britny spears cd i bought for my sister. so yeah. we played such and such. its weird. when im not tired, ill let u know what it is. and we played peanuts. ill tell you about that later too. but im going to bed. the folks wanna get up early and watch movies. so yeah. nightmare alert!

1 MORE DAY TO CHRISTMAS!!!

yeah i go all my presents wrapped. and it took like two hours. but then again i was messing with dizzler.com and trying to text amber at the same time. so it coulda been less. but w/e. at least its done. and i dont have to work tomorrow. so thats good. but yeah. i took my medication so im gonna go to sleep pretty soon. ill write when i can. byebye!

2 MORE DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS!!!

theres nothing really to write about. cuz my life is boring. so yeah. thats it for today.

3 MORE DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!

one last thought, i wouldnt be suprised if santa or my parents gave me coal this year for christmas. cuz ive been in trouble a lot.

i came home early from work. i was supposed to get out at three but i left at noon. thats cuz im clumbsy. and i fell. i was shoveling outside the doorway and i fell forward on my knee. when i got inside i thought it only hurt cuz i was freezing. but i got warmed up and me knee started to feel a little better. and then i started walking around and it started to hurt. so i was limping everywhere. and this was at like ten thirty. so i went for an hour and a half like that. and dennis didnt even care. i had to ask him to go home. and he didnt even file an accident report. cuz that goes against him. he said cuz it was stupid to file one if i didnt even need to go to the emergency room. i dont fucking care if its stupid, its your goddamn job! i just hate stupid people. but thats all for now. later!

4 MORE DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS!!!!!

5 MORE DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah. i didnt write last night cuz i was talking on teenspot.com and i met two new chicks. one like 14 and shes awesome. shes in the marching band and she loves harry potter and twilight. and i love them too. and the other girl is 17 or 18. and she and i were talking about when i used to be a cheerleader. weird but kollieo i guess. and right now, im gonna see if they are online. before i go to work at three. to eight. and i dont wanna. and i have three days next week! thats it. and i dont even have school at all. so i can work up to 20 or 25 hours. and im lucky if i have 15. so yeah. im gonna go now. ill see if i can get back on here when i get home. but i doubt it. cuz ill prolly be going straight to bed cuz i have to work at nine tomorrow morning. see ya later!

the schedule said that amber works tonight but the one here at the story says she doesnt. so yeah. she doesnt work. and i dont have to deal with her until maybe next week. but i dont know that for sure. i think im gonna go get some food and then get the new schedule for next week. ill talk to you later when i get out of work at 8. byebye.

i found this site thingy were i can download movies for free! its awesome. anyway, we didnt have school today. so i only went to school one day this week. and its fucking awesome. and it puts off talking to people until i get back. except amber. i have to work with her tonight. and i dont know what the hell to say to her. but yeah. ill let you know how it goes. but right now, im gonna go watch superman!

still havent gone insane. but i was really fucking close to it earlier this morning. i had to do the laundry with my dad. and i dont know how to sort or fold or do anything. and he was screaming at me. like screaming at me is going to solve the damn problem. yeah right. and so i was screaming back at him. and he was getting really pissed. and then when we got home, my mom told me that dad and i were going to otsego to walmart to get her a new computer, that looks like mine, she told me to change my cloths twice. cuz she didnt like what i was wearing. and i got pissed off and told her no matter what i wear, its not going to fucking please you. so she got all pissy and shit at me. and then i just fucking walked out. i dont even know why i claim these people as my family. cuz sometimes they can be major assholes. so yeah. thats about it for my day today. hopefully we dont have school tomorrow. but i bet we will. ttyl. byebye.

so far i havent gone insane. but this is just one day. so we'll see how it goes. hopefully well. but i doubt it. meow. im gonna go watch house. ttyl. bye.

you know the whole cassie-shoe-toilet thing? yeah? I JUST FUCKING GOT SUSPENDED FOR THREE DAYS CUZ OF IT!!! im a dumbass. i mean, i know i shouldnt have done it but i didnt think id get caught, get in trouble, and fucking get suspended! cuz i thought everthing was just gonna blow the hell over and i was gonna walk away scott-free. but nooooo........ the stupid little bitch with the idea had to go and fucking tell on me. and she didnt get fucking suspended. all she got was to have to pay for the new shoes that had to be bought for the chick. and supposedly her parents are like super uber livid. i found this out cuz my mama talked to the assisstant principle and he told her cuz he thought she could be trusted. like to not tell anyone. including me. but she told me. and i have to clean and do lawndry and help out around the house. and i still have the computer and phone and t.v, but for a shorter time limit. and im not really complaining. cuz i do deserve it. so yeah. im suspended for three days and i have shit to do. so ill talk to you tomorrow if i can manage it. hopefully im still semi-sane. but i doubt it. byebye.

ive now been working at village market for two years. and it sucks. yesterday was the worst day ever. i got there at eight and i had to fix the glass and one of the plastic machines. and that took three hours. but theres a mini story in that. ok. i was cleaning all of the machines and i got the sponge i was using stuck in the glass machines rollers. and i had to call my manager to come and get it out for me. and i was really embarrassed. and all the customers were being rude. and some guy just handed me on of those jesus son of god paplets. im like, i dont really want this. but not to him. im not sure if i believe in the big guy in the clouds and i dont have a problem with others believing in him. until they give me booklets and try to preach to me about how im gonna burn in hell for all my sins that i myself cant give the punishment for. and im like it dont give a rats ass. im going where im going and i cant and dont really wanna change that. so yeah. thats what i think. but i have to go now. got to go see my kids at headstart. mmwwaa! bye.