the only things that come to mind after that doctors appointment are that im not gonna date a chick, not gonna get fingered by one, and i dont ever wanna fucking do that again! oh and the inaguration was really good actually. i like obama. i gotta go though. i have a concert for band that i have to go to. i hope i mess up and make it really loud and make people laugh. lol. ttyl. prolly tomorrow. love yah!!!!

life sucks. and i dont care about obama coming into office. yay! i have to have a girl exam today. and i might go on the pill. hooray for today! not!

noting much going on here. just reading more harry potter fan fics. cuz im bored. and im a dork. and i think kacey tried calling alex today. but im not sure. cuz he said that a number he didnt recognize called him. on his cell. but i gave kacey his house number. but theres prolly a way for her to get the number. like calsey. but i dont know. and i dont wanna talk to alex right now. im depressed. and i just wanna die. cuz jay said no. and im really really really super duper depressed. and i dont know if alex knows im really really really super duper depressed or not. but i imagine not. but i dont care. im gonna go see if i can crawl in a hole and die. ill let you know how that turns out. talk to you sometime soon. hopefully from the dead.

me and dada are having a harry potter marathon. and were currently on number three. AND DRACO MALFOY IS SO AMAZINGLY HOTT!!! if there was one character i could bring to life, it would be him. HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!!!!!!!!! im in love with draco malfoy!

im really bored. and im reading harry potter fics written by random people. and theyre pretty good too. im suck a dork. and im still in love with jay. but i dont think he wants to go back out with me. cuz he told me that he doesnt wanna be with me cuz we never get to see each other. the last time i saw him was on new years eve. and that was for like 5 minutes. and i really love him. and i miss him terribly. like lots and lots and lots. but i dont think he sees that. and im not completely sure that he still loves me like i love him. i just wanna be with him. and i dont care if i cant see him. i can deal with that. but i dont think he can. and thats what really sucks. i just want to be his and him be mine. but i cant see that happening. cuz hes gonna go into the military and i hate the military and im gonna go up north to college. and i wont see him then either. and i dont wanna lost him. he means so much to me. and my mama is like well there are gonna be guys that are better than jay at college. but she donest understand that i really love jay and that i would do anything for jay. i would die for him. and i dont know if he knows that. he might. but he doesnt say anything about it. and i have to basically force him to say that he loves me. and he uses the code word we had when he does say it. which is rraarrr. or however you spell that. but yeah. i miss him so much. and i want to see him for another 5 minutes. and alex is telling me to tell jay how i feel before jay moves on again. before the situation changes between us. and im afraid. im scared to say anything. cuz that could change the friendship that me and jay have. and i dont wanna lose him completely. i just dont know what the hell to do. i love him. and i want him so badly. but i cant say anything. i just wish i could have someone tell me what the future is so i can go by that. that would be great. and im gonna go onto something different. i bit my nails yesterday. and it feels weird to not have them that long. they werent that long anyway but longer than they are now. and it feels weird to type without them. and im bored. and i hope dada gets home soon with that food. im starving! im gonna go now. gonna go pout and read some romance novel. ill prolly write back later. bye!

this shit is probably gonna end up in court. and i already have a court date. its not this coming monday and tuesday but its the next ones. and i really dont wanna go. i just wanna skip it and not have to go through with all of this shit. but i have to. and so does amber. and i misses amber like lots and lots. and me and alex are talking again. and we arent fighting. so thats kinda weird. but he trusts me now. cuz of the whole me saving britny the whores life and shit. and he mostly believes me on the whole the whore is cheating on him thing. and it is true. so yeah. i dont think theres much else to say. just that i think im gonna ask jay back out. and im going to bed cuz its really late. or early i should say. ill ttyl. byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok. like i have a lot to say in this one. so im just preparing you. ok. i wanted to go something to make alex break up with britny right? right. anyways, i told kacey that we need to think about something that we can do. and she just told me today in an email that shes gonna get her fuckbuddy to get some of his friends together, go to britnys house, beat the shit out of her, kill her, and i think rob her. and i hate her. i really do. but i dont hate her enough to let kacey let her fuckbuddy do that. i dont think its right for anyone to do that. and even if i did, i still wouldnt let it happen. and if i dont say anything, i can get charged with being an accoplice to the act cuz i knew it was gonna happen and i didnt do anything to stop it. and i dont wanna get involved with this. i dont want her dead and i dont wanna go to jail for something i didnt do. im going to mr antoine tomorrow with a printout of that email. and im gonna tell him that i dont want to have anything to do with killing her. and that it wasnt my idea. and that i just want it stopped. even if i dont like her. which i really dont like her. aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! and they said that senior year is the best year of your life and that is the best and easiest. i wanna smack whoever said that. cuz they obviously didnt live in this timeperiod or in my life. which theyd prolly kill themselves if they lived my life. but i live and endure. but i dont know how. i emailed alex the message that kacey sent me. i just hope he reads it and believes me. but i doubt it. and if he does read it, hell prolly think i have something to do with it even though i told him that i have nothing to do with it and that i may not be happy and not like britny but that doesnt mean that i wanna kill her. cuz i really dont. i just wanna see her cry. is that too much to ask? no. is that something to get in trouble for? maybe. if i do something harmful to her. which is anything physical or emotional. so like everything is out of the question. and i dont wanna do anything anymore. i just wanna stay the hell away from her and stay out of trouble. i want to keep my nose clean for a year. thats all i ask. along with a good boyfriend that loves me for me and that i love. but thats all i want. oh and to remain friends with amber the love of my friend life. i dont know what i would do without her. shes the one that calmed me down. im talking to her on my facebook. and i feel a lot better about this. but not like totally better you know? but better. i just hope i dont get suspended again. that would massively suck. i guess im gonna go now. i dont think i have anything else to write. at least right now. you never know, i might have something later. i prolly will. ttyl. byebye!

BRITNY THE WHORE IS MOVING!!! AND I CANT FUCKING WAIT! LOL. i cant believe my luck. and she was crying after school on calseys shoulder. and i wanted to laugh at her. but i didnt. and i wanted to ask her where shes gonna move. but i didnt do that either. and i hope she moves really fucking far away. way away from alex and i. cuz i want her to be miserable. and i want her to be miserable right now. and i want her to fucking die. and god damn her to hell for being a whore and a bitch. stupid sons of bitches. ill talk to you later i guess. tomorrow probably. byebye.

i dont know what the hell is going on with kacey and alex. but calsey is talking shit about me. thats all i know. and i wanna kill her. and im gonna take her down with alex and britny. and its gonna be fucking brutal. BITCHES!!!

dude! me and kacey have the most evil plan. ok, not most evil but the best we can come up with on short notice. kacey is gonna try to get alex to go out with her even though alex is still with the Whore. and then kacey is gonna do alex and then tell the Whore and then there will be MASS CHAOS!!! and ill be laughing on the sideline the whole time. i just wanna ruin her. lol! i love being mean.

dude! i wish i would have had a camera today! britny the Whore looked like an emo rejected whore-ish teletubby!!! i was so fucking funny. i said that in front of amber, devan, john, and dylan. and they all almost died laughing! i was trying to breathe and i was almost choking. i love making fun of that bitch. she makes it so damn easy. LOVE MAKING FUN FUN FUN OF THAT WHORE!!! and im out.

i wanna kill her now. cuz she fucked with otto. otto is my best friend. so yeah. and im tired of her trying and getting my exbfs. im fucking done with her being the Whore she is. so i need a plan. and i will do it someway and someday soon. and it wont be just silly string shit. itll be more, lots more. revenge is a dish best served cold!

STUPID FUCKING WHORE!!! she WAS dating otto. but she broke up with him through an email today. and he was really upset about it. that bitch has to go down. and go down now!!! i need a plan. ttyl.

school went pretty well. only amber, devan, and thats it talked to me in band. but thats alright. i dont really give a flying fuck anymore. i just wanna kill them all except amber, kacey, devan, and my parents. but the fucking rest are gone. and the first two on the list are the Whore and the Dumbass. speaking of the Whore, shes cheating on the Dumbass again. with another one of my exbfs! dylan otto! what is it with her and my exbfs? i told jay to watch out. shell prolly be after him next. stupid whore. i fucking hate her. and she and him will die a fucking painful death. and amber told him that shes cheating on him again. and he just walked away. LOL! i love fucking with them. and i have the ammo cuz shes a whore. i hate everyone. and the hardest music i have isnt helping me. he knows i silly stringed his car. and hes going around telling everyone that i did it and that he was gonna call the cops. but he didnt. and he doesnt have any proof that i really did do it or not. and thats fucking funny as hell. id love to see him try to prove it. lol. im having a shitty day. and i hope it gets better. but i doubt it. i doubt the rest of this week is gonna be good. i hate school. i think im gonna go on a killing spree and kill em all. ill ask my uncle dave if he can lend me his gun so i can do that. and then ill get some grenades and shit like that. and then ill do the joker pencil dissappearing trick. thats so awesome. im gonna go watch a movie with people dying. ill talk to you either today or tomorrow. i dont know when.

yeah. nothing says hello like the person that got you in trouble saying hi thinking youre gonna talk to them. yeah right. theres no way in hell that im going to talk to that bitch. id rather die. and everyone else except amber and nancy and kacey are ignoring me. but thats pretty usual. ill let you know what happens at band after band. ill ttyl. byebye.

amber and i had an awesome sword fight! it was fucking hilarious! i love hanging out with amber! mmwwaa!!

today was the best day ive ever had. i was hanging out with amber today. and we went and saw the movie bedtime stories. it was funny and cute. it had a guinie pig in it and it had HUGE bugged out eyes and his name was bugsy! he was so cute! and he made cute little noises and stuff. i loved the movie. and before the movie, we went to arbys and had food. and after the movie, we waited two hours for her boyfriend ryan to get out. and then we went bowling. i didnt do that great. i got a 84 and then a 83. so im consistant. but in the first game, amber came up behind me to scare me to make me mess up. but she came up just as i was throwing the ball and she gave me enough of a push to make me throw it at a spin and i got a strike!!! and fell on my face. but me and amber and ryan and the chick and the dude from the next lane were laughing so hard. it was so funny. and ambers like im not gonna try to mess you up anymore! and i totally silly stringed alexs car! it has green string ALL over it. i was laughing like a manic when i was doing it. and amber thought i was insane. but i dont care. i wish i could be there to see his face when he gets out of work tonight. it would be priceless! and i bet he'll know it was me. but i had help from another coworker named mitchel. hes awesome. but i had so much fun today. and i hope i sleep good tonight. i loves you! ttyl. byebye!!!

today, actually yesterday, was the worst day at work. i mean it this time. i had to fucking do everything myself. and you know what i got? absolutely fucking nothing but my manager telling me to go do some fucking work. bull-fucking-shit in my opinion. but thats just me. and no one gives a shit what the hell i think. cuz im a nobody. everyone can just walk all over me and i dont care. yeah right. thats what people think about me. and i just wanna kill em all. it would make life so much easier. but i cant. i dont have a gun. or something to make them really suffer. cuz thats what i want for them. to suffer. like i have. but that aint gonna happen. i guess im gonna go check my myspace really fast and my facebook. and my yahoo. and get to bed before it turns to two oclock. i dont know when ill talk to you next. byebye!

i havent had the internet since my last entry. i had it yesterday actually. but it wouldnt let me on here. cuz i have the mywebsearch thing and it doesnt like some sites. so yeah. HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR!!! yay. i cant wait for this year to be over with. and its just started. so thats saying something. maybe i should create a time machine. just to see what it would be like in the future. probably a lot worse. but i dont know. im bored. i have to get ready to go to work soon. i hate work. yesterday was the worst day every at work. i had to work with other dumbass baggers that didnt like to work. so i had to do everything. and i dont like working. and i wasnt in the best of moods yesterday. cuz i had one of my bad feelings. and i think it was that i lost eric as a friend. cuz he wanted to know if i liked him enough to go out with him. and i told him no i dont like him like that and that hes just a friend and that really hurt him. and now he hates me. but thats ok i guess. i think i have to work with him again tonight. so im gonna be doing all the damn work again. i got to see jay on new years eve! and he kissed me. but i dont think he loves me anymore. i mean, he says he does. but hes with that other chick. and he tells me that i cant tell him i love him on his facebook. and i mean i understand why. cuz she can see it. but i cant say i love him on the phone either. cuz he doesnt say it back. hes just like ok uh huh. and it really sucks. cuz i really do still love him. and i want to be with him again. but hes with that chick. and he gets to see her everyday at school. and before new years eve, i hadnt seen him in almost four months. and i havent had sex in almost four months. but i miss him so much. i just wish that i could have him back. but thats not very likely to happen. resolutions: NO sex, drinking, lying, cheating, stealing, or nail-biting. cheating as in like on boyfriends if i have any this year. stealing as in boyfriends. and im trying not to lie. i was gonna do swearing but thats gonna be impossible for me. so yeah. im gonna go now. ttyl. byebye.

im really fucking pissed the hell off. and i dont miss talking to alex anymore. i wanna kill the bastard. but that will come in time. and believe me, it will fucking happen. i hate the fucking bastard so much. hes caused me way to much fucking pain. and i plan to show him just how muuch hes caused me. and then some bitch! and britny is gonna watch him die. and then she is gonna die too. and that will be the end of all that betrayal. so yeah. g2g. mamas coming.

yeah. im really fucking bored. and my neck hurts really bad. and i miss jay. and i miss talking to alex. and i have like a lot of fucking problems. and i dont know what the hell to do about them. so im just gonna sit here and look like shit and feel like shit. so yeah. buhbye.