life is boring. and if mrs. henderson (votech teacher) says anything about me not being there on friday, im gonna go tell her to fuck off and go fuck herself. thats how i really feel. cuz shes breaking the confidentiality law by talking to the other students in the class about how im not there and what i have and how many days ive missed and that i lost my e-skills sheets. nobody needs to know that besides me and my parents. but everyone knows. so if she pisses me off, shes gonna get it. im tired of her shit. and alex is still gonna be friends witht that whore. and i dont understand why hes gonna do it. i mean look what she fucking did to him. and he said that there my be a time in the future that he might take her back despite all that has happened and is happening. im i told him hes stupid and that if i looked up ignorant in a dictionary, id find his picture. and i almost laughed at my own joke. but its true. and he doesnt get the picture yet. she so doesnt love him and doesnt want to have anything to do with him. but he cant get that cuz hes still so in love with her. and i think its stupid and sad on his part. hes just an ignorant dumbass. ill talk to you later i guess. byebye.

nothing really happened today. i took two of those pills im now on cuz i didnt take one yesterday. and i was beyond wanting to puke my guts out. i had arby's though. cuz i had to eat something. and that sounded really good. me and dada watched harry potter and the goblet of fire. cuz we were bored. and had nothing better to do. like always. its fucking 8 degrees here. and im freezing my ass off. im actually warm in my bed though. but if i leave my bed, im cold as hell. pun not intended. but yeah. im bored. like always. so im gonna go read my harry potter fan fics. like i always do when i get bored. but before i go, there was almost a shooting at work today. im glad i wasnt there. amber was though. and noone was hurt. so thats a good thing. so yeah. ill talk to you tomorrow. byebye! mmwwaa! loves you!

yeah. i didnt go to school today. cuz i was really nauscous (spell check). so yeah. i was really tired too. and i went to work today though. but i didnt wanna. and only stacey and ottos mama said that i was a skipper. but isnt not everyones business. so im just gonna tell them the fuck the fuck off. but i dont think theyll understand. meow. nwoe.ebwjds a.apdfneowls.smwowomoesmeows! im tired. and ihave reall big shadoeeeeeeeeeeeews undet my eyes. so i look badn. im tired. im gonaa go to bed rightn ow. so nighty nighty night~@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!

two things. im gonna start with the important one. i dont have to go to court against alex horn. he took a plea today. but i dont know what the plea includes. so yeah. and second, I THINK THAT STUPID MOTHER FUCKER, ASSHOLE, BITCH, SON OF A BITCH, ALEX, IS GONNA TAKE THAT STUPID COCK JUGGLING THUNDER CUNT WHORE, BRITNY BACK!!!!!!! he made a bulliten on myspace about he would do anything for her. and its dated today. and on facebook, he has a, i guess you could call it, headline dated yesterday "im in love with the best girl ever!" and one today saying "i miss her more and more" or something to that effect. and im gonna kill the bastard if he takes that whore back. cuz look at what she fucking done to him. shes a cruel, cold-hearted, back-stabbing bitch! and she knows i know that she knows that shes that. so yeah. im gonna fucking ruin her life if she trys to get back with alex after all this shit is done hitting the fan. you better fucking believe it. oh, and third, i just remembered. i saw kaceys grandmother and her little sister. and i dont think her grandmother knows about what happened (highly unlikely, but maybe so) or she doesnt know who i am (more likely, but i dont really think so). or maybe she just wants to ignore the whole thing even happened. i do wonder though if the whore ever payed her back. i dont know. but im gonna go watch some family guy. and maybe read some harry potter fan fics. ttyl. byebye!!!!

OMG! BRITNY TOLD SCOTTY (HER FUCKBUDDY) THAT SHE HAS MINUTES ON HER PHONE, TO TEXT HER, AND SHE FUCKING SAID I LOVE YOU! OMFG! WHAT A WHORE! I CANT BELIEVE SHES DOING THIS TO ALEX! ACTUALLY I CAN. AND NOT LIKE I REALLY GIVE A FLYING FUCK. BUT WHATEVER! SHES JUST A FUCKING COCK JUGGLING THUNDER CUNT! AND I CANT WAIT TIL SHE GETS WHAT SHE DESERVES. AND I HOPE IM EITHER THE ONE THAT GIVES IT TO HER OR IM AT LEAST THERE TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS! MY HAND HURTS. SO IM GONNA GO READ MORE HARRY POTTER FAN FICS! ILL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW PROLLY. LOVES YOU!

bored. like really really really really!!!!!!!!! the concert was too long. and i found out that they CAN NOT count over at GVSU! they said they were gonna play 4 songs, they played 7! and the main one said 5 and they played 9. and they said they were gonna close with one. and then theyre like well we have another piece for you. and you could just hear the whole crowd whining. and amber was the loudest. and i was the second loudest. but the best part of the night was britny saying that she doesnt give a shit about alex and that he can suck a dick for all she cares. and she started crying when he first got there. and i was like laughing. but not to her face. and amber was laughing too. and im going hahahahahahaha cuz your a slut! and you did it to yourself! and she really did. and its funny. but i do feel a little bad for alex. i mean he really did love her. but he does tend to love the wrong ones for him. so yeah. that sucks for him. but thats a little funny too. and im just glad that i told him. i mean, she would have totally ripped him to shreds. that is if shed talked to him. but she didnt wanna. she doesnt give a shit about his feelings. and he was nothing but nice and loving to her. and she had to go and do that. i dont know how she can live with herself. i couldnt if i were her. but i cant sink that low. but yeah. im laughing over here. and im going to bed. ill talk to you tomorrow more than likely. but not sure. oh, btw, i asked jay to the prom and he said maybe. love you! byebye!

the only things that come to mind after that doctors appointment are that im not gonna date a chick, not gonna get fingered by one, and i dont ever wanna fucking do that again! oh and the inaguration was really good actually. i like obama. i gotta go though. i have a concert for band that i have to go to. i hope i mess up and make it really loud and make people laugh. lol. ttyl. prolly tomorrow. love yah!!!!

life sucks. and i dont care about obama coming into office. yay! i have to have a girl exam today. and i might go on the pill. hooray for today! not!

noting much going on here. just reading more harry potter fan fics. cuz im bored. and im a dork. and i think kacey tried calling alex today. but im not sure. cuz he said that a number he didnt recognize called him. on his cell. but i gave kacey his house number. but theres prolly a way for her to get the number. like calsey. but i dont know. and i dont wanna talk to alex right now. im depressed. and i just wanna die. cuz jay said no. and im really really really super duper depressed. and i dont know if alex knows im really really really super duper depressed or not. but i imagine not. but i dont care. im gonna go see if i can crawl in a hole and die. ill let you know how that turns out. talk to you sometime soon. hopefully from the dead.

me and dada are having a harry potter marathon. and were currently on number three. AND DRACO MALFOY IS SO AMAZINGLY HOTT!!! if there was one character i could bring to life, it would be him. HOT HOT HOT HOT HOT!!!!!!!!! im in love with draco malfoy!

im really bored. and im reading harry potter fics written by random people. and theyre pretty good too. im suck a dork. and im still in love with jay. but i dont think he wants to go back out with me. cuz he told me that he doesnt wanna be with me cuz we never get to see each other. the last time i saw him was on new years eve. and that was for like 5 minutes. and i really love him. and i miss him terribly. like lots and lots and lots. but i dont think he sees that. and im not completely sure that he still loves me like i love him. i just wanna be with him. and i dont care if i cant see him. i can deal with that. but i dont think he can. and thats what really sucks. i just want to be his and him be mine. but i cant see that happening. cuz hes gonna go into the military and i hate the military and im gonna go up north to college. and i wont see him then either. and i dont wanna lost him. he means so much to me. and my mama is like well there are gonna be guys that are better than jay at college. but she donest understand that i really love jay and that i would do anything for jay. i would die for him. and i dont know if he knows that. he might. but he doesnt say anything about it. and i have to basically force him to say that he loves me. and he uses the code word we had when he does say it. which is rraarrr. or however you spell that. but yeah. i miss him so much. and i want to see him for another 5 minutes. and alex is telling me to tell jay how i feel before jay moves on again. before the situation changes between us. and im afraid. im scared to say anything. cuz that could change the friendship that me and jay have. and i dont wanna lose him completely. i just dont know what the hell to do. i love him. and i want him so badly. but i cant say anything. i just wish i could have someone tell me what the future is so i can go by that. that would be great. and im gonna go onto something different. i bit my nails yesterday. and it feels weird to not have them that long. they werent that long anyway but longer than they are now. and it feels weird to type without them. and im bored. and i hope dada gets home soon with that food. im starving! im gonna go now. gonna go pout and read some romance novel. ill prolly write back later. bye!

this shit is probably gonna end up in court. and i already have a court date. its not this coming monday and tuesday but its the next ones. and i really dont wanna go. i just wanna skip it and not have to go through with all of this shit. but i have to. and so does amber. and i misses amber like lots and lots. and me and alex are talking again. and we arent fighting. so thats kinda weird. but he trusts me now. cuz of the whole me saving britny the whores life and shit. and he mostly believes me on the whole the whore is cheating on him thing. and it is true. so yeah. i dont think theres much else to say. just that i think im gonna ask jay back out. and im going to bed cuz its really late. or early i should say. ill ttyl. byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok. like i have a lot to say in this one. so im just preparing you. ok. i wanted to go something to make alex break up with britny right? right. anyways, i told kacey that we need to think about something that we can do. and she just told me today in an email that shes gonna get her fuckbuddy to get some of his friends together, go to britnys house, beat the shit out of her, kill her, and i think rob her. and i hate her. i really do. but i dont hate her enough to let kacey let her fuckbuddy do that. i dont think its right for anyone to do that. and even if i did, i still wouldnt let it happen. and if i dont say anything, i can get charged with being an accoplice to the act cuz i knew it was gonna happen and i didnt do anything to stop it. and i dont wanna get involved with this. i dont want her dead and i dont wanna go to jail for something i didnt do. im going to mr antoine tomorrow with a printout of that email. and im gonna tell him that i dont want to have anything to do with killing her. and that it wasnt my idea. and that i just want it stopped. even if i dont like her. which i really dont like her. aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! and they said that senior year is the best year of your life and that is the best and easiest. i wanna smack whoever said that. cuz they obviously didnt live in this timeperiod or in my life. which theyd prolly kill themselves if they lived my life. but i live and endure. but i dont know how. i emailed alex the message that kacey sent me. i just hope he reads it and believes me. but i doubt it. and if he does read it, hell prolly think i have something to do with it even though i told him that i have nothing to do with it and that i may not be happy and not like britny but that doesnt mean that i wanna kill her. cuz i really dont. i just wanna see her cry. is that too much to ask? no. is that something to get in trouble for? maybe. if i do something harmful to her. which is anything physical or emotional. so like everything is out of the question. and i dont wanna do anything anymore. i just wanna stay the hell away from her and stay out of trouble. i want to keep my nose clean for a year. thats all i ask. along with a good boyfriend that loves me for me and that i love. but thats all i want. oh and to remain friends with amber the love of my friend life. i dont know what i would do without her. shes the one that calmed me down. im talking to her on my facebook. and i feel a lot better about this. but not like totally better you know? but better. i just hope i dont get suspended again. that would massively suck. i guess im gonna go now. i dont think i have anything else to write. at least right now. you never know, i might have something later. i prolly will. ttyl. byebye!

BRITNY THE WHORE IS MOVING!!! AND I CANT FUCKING WAIT! LOL. i cant believe my luck. and she was crying after school on calseys shoulder. and i wanted to laugh at her. but i didnt. and i wanted to ask her where shes gonna move. but i didnt do that either. and i hope she moves really fucking far away. way away from alex and i. cuz i want her to be miserable. and i want her to be miserable right now. and i want her to fucking die. and god damn her to hell for being a whore and a bitch. stupid sons of bitches. ill talk to you later i guess. tomorrow probably. byebye.

i dont know what the hell is going on with kacey and alex. but calsey is talking shit about me. thats all i know. and i wanna kill her. and im gonna take her down with alex and britny. and its gonna be fucking brutal. BITCHES!!!

dude! me and kacey have the most evil plan. ok, not most evil but the best we can come up with on short notice. kacey is gonna try to get alex to go out with her even though alex is still with the Whore. and then kacey is gonna do alex and then tell the Whore and then there will be MASS CHAOS!!! and ill be laughing on the sideline the whole time. i just wanna ruin her. lol! i love being mean.

dude! i wish i would have had a camera today! britny the Whore looked like an emo rejected whore-ish teletubby!!! i was so fucking funny. i said that in front of amber, devan, john, and dylan. and they all almost died laughing! i was trying to breathe and i was almost choking. i love making fun of that bitch. she makes it so damn easy. LOVE MAKING FUN FUN FUN OF THAT WHORE!!! and im out.

i wanna kill her now. cuz she fucked with otto. otto is my best friend. so yeah. and im tired of her trying and getting my exbfs. im fucking done with her being the Whore she is. so i need a plan. and i will do it someway and someday soon. and it wont be just silly string shit. itll be more, lots more. revenge is a dish best served cold!

STUPID FUCKING WHORE!!! she WAS dating otto. but she broke up with him through an email today. and he was really upset about it. that bitch has to go down. and go down now!!! i need a plan. ttyl.

school went pretty well. only amber, devan, and thats it talked to me in band. but thats alright. i dont really give a flying fuck anymore. i just wanna kill them all except amber, kacey, devan, and my parents. but the fucking rest are gone. and the first two on the list are the Whore and the Dumbass. speaking of the Whore, shes cheating on the Dumbass again. with another one of my exbfs! dylan otto! what is it with her and my exbfs? i told jay to watch out. shell prolly be after him next. stupid whore. i fucking hate her. and she and him will die a fucking painful death. and amber told him that shes cheating on him again. and he just walked away. LOL! i love fucking with them. and i have the ammo cuz shes a whore. i hate everyone. and the hardest music i have isnt helping me. he knows i silly stringed his car. and hes going around telling everyone that i did it and that he was gonna call the cops. but he didnt. and he doesnt have any proof that i really did do it or not. and thats fucking funny as hell. id love to see him try to prove it. lol. im having a shitty day. and i hope it gets better. but i doubt it. i doubt the rest of this week is gonna be good. i hate school. i think im gonna go on a killing spree and kill em all. ill ask my uncle dave if he can lend me his gun so i can do that. and then ill get some grenades and shit like that. and then ill do the joker pencil dissappearing trick. thats so awesome. im gonna go watch a movie with people dying. ill talk to you either today or tomorrow. i dont know when.

yeah. nothing says hello like the person that got you in trouble saying hi thinking youre gonna talk to them. yeah right. theres no way in hell that im going to talk to that bitch. id rather die. and everyone else except amber and nancy and kacey are ignoring me. but thats pretty usual. ill let you know what happens at band after band. ill ttyl. byebye.