i feel a little better. i shaved my legs. and i guess that calmed me down. weird. i know. but yeah. and i dont know if i want to talk to jay anymore. cuz it hurts that he doesnt like/love me anymore. so yeah. im on crack pills! just sleeping pills. but yeah. i have to go. manda wants the computer. MY COMPUTER! so yeah. ill talk to you tomorrow. byebye!

yeah. i kinda went psycho this morning. cuz i didnt wanna go to school. cuz i dont feel the greatest and i hate school. and i dont know what i wanna do with the rest of my life. and if i do know, i doubt ill get there. cuz i doubt theyre gonna let me back in school. ive missed like 14 or 15 days. and thats truent*. and i dont see myself being a teacher. i just cant see me getting up every damn day to go to school and teach little kids. i just cant. and that scares me. cuz i dont know what i want and what im good at. and my sisters like well most freshmen in college change their majors 4 times. im not even in college and i dont know what i want. how am i supposed to pick classes if i dont know? i cant. and i still love jay. and i dont think he loves me anymore. the last time he said he loved me sounded forced and he only said it becuz i said it first. and me and otto are over. i just gonna tell him that when i see him next. he hasnt even called me. and hes gonna say cuz he forgot my number. ive told him 5 times. and he can never seem to remember. guess its not important enough to him. im just gonna go cry again. ill talk to you sometime later. byebye.

yeah. life blows. i havent gone to school in two days. cuz i dont feel good. and i fucking hate school. so yeah. im gonna watch the rest of true blood and then call jay and then go to bad. ill ttyl. byebye!

and six more weeks of winter and i hate alex and the whore!

i hate my fucking sister. ok. i came home in a bad mood with my dad. but when i walked in the door, i was friendly and said him manda. and she didnt say anything. so i set my homework down. and went to go talk to my mama in her bedroom. and i talked to her for about 15 mins and left with my computer. so i went back to the table and set my computer down. and i was plugging it in. and she came out. just getting out of the shower. and shes like your sitting here arent you. i said yes. and shes like well i have to get ready to go to work. i need the cord. so i unplugged it and threw it. and she got all pissy and was like you dont need to throw it. im not the one youre mad at. i said im not the one who started this argument. i was fine with you. i just have to do my homework. and shes like well i have to get ready. i think work is more important. and im like i have to do my homework so i can pass with better grades than you did. she passes with a 2.6. but anyway i called her a stupid bitch and told her that im smarter than she is. and i am. and she knows it. and she hates it. and she hates me. so yeah. i am officially hating my sister. and i dont love her anymore. i havent loved her in a long time. like if i had no friends, and i was getting married, i wouldnt have her be my maid of horror. id find some random chick and be like you wanna do me a favor? ill pay you! so yeah. i hate my sister, i hate school and homework, and i hate my boyfriend. my life rocks. NOT! *crys in corner really loud*

im bored. and im tired. and i hate alex. so thats about the sum of my life. and i hate my life. so im gonna go cry now.

my arm doesnt hurt. im kinda surprized. kinda like my parents are suprized i even gave blood. cuz they think that i have a problem with needles. but i really dont. but when they did the needle i do have to admit that it stung like a bitch. cuz of the iodine. but i dont have a problem with needles. except if theyre trying to get an iv in me and it takes them fucking 14 tries to do it. then i have a problem. that was a long time ago though. last school year sometime. i dont remember. but i was in the hospital. speaking of hospital, i wonder if thats were otto is. i miss him. and i wonder how hes doing. maybe ill call him and see whats up. idk though. maybe. im bored. dada and i started the die hard saga. we just like to watch movies. and im gonna see if he and i can watch the second one today. but i doubt it. im bored so im gonna go delete shit i dont need off here. byebye!

i came home during lunch. and i had to have mama team up on dada to do it too. it was lame. i was all weak and woozy and pukey and stuff. they took a damn pint. a fucking bagful of the shit. and i was like all over the place. i couldnt think straight for like an hour. it was a really weird feeling. ill do it again if i can get out of school again. but i doubt it. i saved three peoples lives! hurray! i came home and slept. but im not as bad as otto. he has argon poisoning. he got it in votech. cuz his teacher turned of the vent or something. i dont know for sure. but he looked really bad today. and he had a headache and was all spralled* out of the band room chairs during lunch right before i went home. and i felt bad for him. im dating him again. i guess this makes like 10 or 11. i dont know anymore. but i feel bad for him with the poisoning thing. and im gonna go to prom with him. like i mean if he makes it. cuz ive heard that people like die from this shit. but i dont know. im not that smart really. so yeah. and jay i think doesnt like me anymore. so yeah. im moving on. with otto. dont know how long thats gonna last though. but im gonna try. and im not gonna have sex with him. at least not for a long long while. like a year or more. cuz i dont wanna get involved with him just to get involved. and i dont want sex. and i dont wanna get pregnant. even though i am on birth control. but yeah. and i dont wanna hurt him. cuz hes a friend/boyfriend. its confusing really. if i break up with him again, im still gonna go to prom with him and be his friend. cuz hes not normal like me. but thats a long weird story that i prolly shouldnt tell. so yeah. im bored. i love draco malfoy and cant wait for the next harry potter movie to come out. and i dont know if theyre gonna do more books. i hope they do. i want to see what their kids do. like get in trouble and fall in love and stuff like that. im really tired. so im gonna go. ill talk to you tomorrow prolly. byebye!

im so tired that i forgot to put make-up on! and i never do that. i cant go without make-up! i dont have that many eyelashes cuz i picked them out. and i look really really bad. and im giving blood today. so im gonna see if i can go home after votech. but i doubt it. i dont think my dad will fall for it. he'll be like, you can go the rest of the day if you went through votech. and im gonna be like im tired and woozy. so yeah. ill talk to you later and tell you how it went.

bored. still. just messing with my music on my playlist. gonna go watch family guy now.

god i am so fucking bored. i have nothing to do. and im still pissed at alex. but for a different reason now. he wont drop the fucking subject of that whore. and i think its cuz he thinks that i still think that hes the fucking god of this damn world. i dont fucking like the stupid mother fucker bastard! if i had the chance, id kill him. only if i could get away with it and not get in trouble at all. and i only did my "good deed" of telling on kacey cuz i didnt wanna get in trouble for knowing and not telling. so yeah. i just want him to shut the fuck up about the cheating backstabbing bitch. but he wont. im gonna tell him straight up to shut the hell up the next time he brings it up. cuz im done with that whore coming back to haunt me. i was friends with her sure. but that was a long time ago. before all the backstabbing bitchyness started. and i know that isnt spelled right. but i dont fucking care. i wanna kill her myself. if i could get away with it. but i cant. so yeah. im just gonna sit here hating everyone for right now. and go read some more harry potter fan fics. byebye!!!!!!!!!

so i guess kacey the bitch was in the store today. and alex the douchebag went running like a scary rabbit. i think its funny. im just glad i wasnt there. cuz she prolly would have kicked my ass. but then again, id get out of school for a lil bit. so i wouldnt really care. and she would go to jail. so thats another plus. so i wouldnt really mind the beating except the lil bit of pain id have. but yeah. i still hate alex the douchebag. and calsey talked to me today. and i was semi-nice. as nice as i can be. which isnt overly. but anyway. i talked to her. but i said that im still pissed at her and shes still a goddamn fucking whore. im nice arent i? but yeah. i was/am tired. and i wore my glasses today. so i had a really major headache. and we were taking notes in anatomy and physiology so i took a nap. so im gonna fail the next test we take on friday. but then again, i said that about the last test we took and i got a 97%. so yeah. im gonna study tomorrow. or not. prolly not. i dont like studying. too boring. and im getting bored. now. i dont know what i should do. i think im gonna go read some of those harry potter fan fics. ill talk to you later i guess. mmwwaa!!! p.s. i hate work!

nothing much to say. im really freaking tired though. i went to bed at 1030 and got up at 700. and still tired. i g2g. class calls!

yeah nothing much to do. so yeah. im bored. im pissed at alex. cuz he said that he wanted to hang out with me. and then he said that he wanted to have michelle hang out with us too. and then he said that he didnt have any money. and i think that is fucking bullshit. so i said w/e. and he tried calling me. and i didnt answer. and he didnt try calling back. so im glad. cuz i dont wanna talk to him. so im not gonna talk to him. so yeah. im really goddamn bored. so im just gonna go finish my family guy episode. ill talk to you later. byebye!

life is boring. and if mrs. henderson (votech teacher) says anything about me not being there on friday, im gonna go tell her to fuck off and go fuck herself. thats how i really feel. cuz shes breaking the confidentiality law by talking to the other students in the class about how im not there and what i have and how many days ive missed and that i lost my e-skills sheets. nobody needs to know that besides me and my parents. but everyone knows. so if she pisses me off, shes gonna get it. im tired of her shit. and alex is still gonna be friends witht that whore. and i dont understand why hes gonna do it. i mean look what she fucking did to him. and he said that there my be a time in the future that he might take her back despite all that has happened and is happening. im i told him hes stupid and that if i looked up ignorant in a dictionary, id find his picture. and i almost laughed at my own joke. but its true. and he doesnt get the picture yet. she so doesnt love him and doesnt want to have anything to do with him. but he cant get that cuz hes still so in love with her. and i think its stupid and sad on his part. hes just an ignorant dumbass. ill talk to you later i guess. byebye.

nothing really happened today. i took two of those pills im now on cuz i didnt take one yesterday. and i was beyond wanting to puke my guts out. i had arby's though. cuz i had to eat something. and that sounded really good. me and dada watched harry potter and the goblet of fire. cuz we were bored. and had nothing better to do. like always. its fucking 8 degrees here. and im freezing my ass off. im actually warm in my bed though. but if i leave my bed, im cold as hell. pun not intended. but yeah. im bored. like always. so im gonna go read my harry potter fan fics. like i always do when i get bored. but before i go, there was almost a shooting at work today. im glad i wasnt there. amber was though. and noone was hurt. so thats a good thing. so yeah. ill talk to you tomorrow. byebye! mmwwaa! loves you!

yeah. i didnt go to school today. cuz i was really nauscous (spell check). so yeah. i was really tired too. and i went to work today though. but i didnt wanna. and only stacey and ottos mama said that i was a skipper. but isnt not everyones business. so im just gonna tell them the fuck the fuck off. but i dont think theyll understand. meow. nwoe.ebwjds a.apdfneowls.smwowomoesmeows! im tired. and ihave reall big shadoeeeeeeeeeeeews undet my eyes. so i look badn. im tired. im gonaa go to bed rightn ow. so nighty nighty night~@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!

two things. im gonna start with the important one. i dont have to go to court against alex horn. he took a plea today. but i dont know what the plea includes. so yeah. and second, I THINK THAT STUPID MOTHER FUCKER, ASSHOLE, BITCH, SON OF A BITCH, ALEX, IS GONNA TAKE THAT STUPID COCK JUGGLING THUNDER CUNT WHORE, BRITNY BACK!!!!!!! he made a bulliten on myspace about he would do anything for her. and its dated today. and on facebook, he has a, i guess you could call it, headline dated yesterday "im in love with the best girl ever!" and one today saying "i miss her more and more" or something to that effect. and im gonna kill the bastard if he takes that whore back. cuz look at what she fucking done to him. shes a cruel, cold-hearted, back-stabbing bitch! and she knows i know that she knows that shes that. so yeah. im gonna fucking ruin her life if she trys to get back with alex after all this shit is done hitting the fan. you better fucking believe it. oh, and third, i just remembered. i saw kaceys grandmother and her little sister. and i dont think her grandmother knows about what happened (highly unlikely, but maybe so) or she doesnt know who i am (more likely, but i dont really think so). or maybe she just wants to ignore the whole thing even happened. i do wonder though if the whore ever payed her back. i dont know. but im gonna go watch some family guy. and maybe read some harry potter fan fics. ttyl. byebye!!!!

OMG! BRITNY TOLD SCOTTY (HER FUCKBUDDY) THAT SHE HAS MINUTES ON HER PHONE, TO TEXT HER, AND SHE FUCKING SAID I LOVE YOU! OMFG! WHAT A WHORE! I CANT BELIEVE SHES DOING THIS TO ALEX! ACTUALLY I CAN. AND NOT LIKE I REALLY GIVE A FLYING FUCK. BUT WHATEVER! SHES JUST A FUCKING COCK JUGGLING THUNDER CUNT! AND I CANT WAIT TIL SHE GETS WHAT SHE DESERVES. AND I HOPE IM EITHER THE ONE THAT GIVES IT TO HER OR IM AT LEAST THERE TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS! MY HAND HURTS. SO IM GONNA GO READ MORE HARRY POTTER FAN FICS! ILL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW PROLLY. LOVES YOU!

bored. like really really really really!!!!!!!!! the concert was too long. and i found out that they CAN NOT count over at GVSU! they said they were gonna play 4 songs, they played 7! and the main one said 5 and they played 9. and they said they were gonna close with one. and then theyre like well we have another piece for you. and you could just hear the whole crowd whining. and amber was the loudest. and i was the second loudest. but the best part of the night was britny saying that she doesnt give a shit about alex and that he can suck a dick for all she cares. and she started crying when he first got there. and i was like laughing. but not to her face. and amber was laughing too. and im going hahahahahahaha cuz your a slut! and you did it to yourself! and she really did. and its funny. but i do feel a little bad for alex. i mean he really did love her. but he does tend to love the wrong ones for him. so yeah. that sucks for him. but thats a little funny too. and im just glad that i told him. i mean, she would have totally ripped him to shreds. that is if shed talked to him. but she didnt wanna. she doesnt give a shit about his feelings. and he was nothing but nice and loving to her. and she had to go and do that. i dont know how she can live with herself. i couldnt if i were her. but i cant sink that low. but yeah. im laughing over here. and im going to bed. ill talk to you tomorrow more than likely. but not sure. oh, btw, i asked jay to the prom and he said maybe. love you! byebye!

the only things that come to mind after that doctors appointment are that im not gonna date a chick, not gonna get fingered by one, and i dont ever wanna fucking do that again! oh and the inaguration was really good actually. i like obama. i gotta go though. i have a concert for band that i have to go to. i hope i mess up and make it really loud and make people laugh. lol. ttyl. prolly tomorrow. love yah!!!!