ok. i just got done talking to alex. ok. about an hour ago. but he told me that hes givin me new powers that are gonna help me out in the future. and im like i dont know about that i dont know anything. but yeah. and he told me that im not completetly humann anymore. and i dont know what the hell to say about that. he said that i am about 45% human still. and that that is prolly gonna change. but i dont konw if thats gonna happen. i dont know whats going on around here. so yeah. im going insane and stuff. and people think im not human and stuff. and i dont see why they dont think im human. i mean i am human. but i dont act a little different. and i hate this drug. cuz i can see the letters crunching in on each other when im texting further down. and it is kinda weird to see that. but i dont know if im fully human or not. i would like to think i am. but that would be cool with me if im not. i just wanna know how to use these powers. but my feeling is that im gonna have to use alex as a rat to see if they work. but theyre from him. so i dont know if any of this confusing shit is gonna work. it might. it might not. god only knows. so yeah. im gonna go to bed now. im way past my bedtime. i guess ill talk to jay tomorrow too. but yeah. wonder what my bad feeling is though. ill find out soon enough. later. byebye.

yesterday was so much fucking fun! we ended up going to the late show that started at 11:40. and i didnt get to bed until like 2:45. and i feel asleep really fast. like ten minutes after my head hit the pillow. but we went to hooters. i didnt like the food or the shorts. they were so damn tight that those girls couldnt have been wearing underwear underneath those. but thats just what i think about it. the movie was so fucking awesome!!! there was this one kill that was the best. this guy and girl were on the floor of a house and jason was underneath it. and he started shoving his machette up through the floor. and the chick is all freaking the hell out. and the guy is like get off the floor! and he gets killed like that. i liked that one. and the one that a girl was in the water and shes under a dock trying not to breathe loud. and jason walks out on the dock. and he slams the machette down through the dock right through the top of her head. it was so kool! i was watching through my fingers though. i love scary movies but i like watching them by myself. cuz i dont have to worry about people looking at me like im weird for being scared. and it makes it so much scarier to be alone watching it. and by the ending, theres gonna be another one. and i cant wait. and there was a preview for transformers number two. but they didnt say when its coming out. which everyone thought was odd. which it was. and there was another kill that everyone liked. there was an asshole. and he got it right through the back. and then was shoved onto a spike on some random guys truck. it was kool! and a girl that was awesome and perfect for the main guy died! and i was mad. i liked her. ive seen her in something else. but it was a great movie. and im so glad that i was able to go to it. i thought i wasnt gonna be able to go cuz it was so late. and i had to be to work at 11. which sucked by the way. no, but on the way back, we almost went into the ditch! ryan was driving and it was snowing pretty bad. and he was going about 70. and all of a sudden, we just slipped. and he had to crank the wheel all over the place to get us out of going into the ditch. and we were completely sideways three times! and i was actually not freaking out. and the rest of them were silent except ernie. stupid asshole wanted to go into the ditch! and amber was all crying and stuff after we were done spinning around. and ernie wasnt making it better. so i had to keep slapping him and telling him to shut the fuck up. but no, i got back at him. i was molesting him. and running after him calling baby dont leave me! chelsea told me to do it to be honest. but it was so much fun. cuz he hated it. and was all like get off me and oh my god! but yeah. i made it home alright i guess you could say. but my mama cant find out that happened. cuz id never be able to hang out with them again. but ryans a really good driver. and im still surprised that he managed to save it. but he said that his brother taught him how cuz his brother does it all the time. so yeah. but im done, my hands hurt like a bitch. later gator. ill let you know if i forgot anything. ttyl. mmwwaa!

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!

if amber ever gets her ass here me, her, ryan, chelsea, mitchell, and ernie are gonna go see the the new friday the 13th movie in kalamazoo. and i really hope she gets here soon. but i havent heard from her. and chelsea isnt answering me. and ernie hasnt heard anything from ryan or amber. so i dont know if the movie is still on or not. but i hope so. cuz it looks really good. but im gonna go now. ill let you know whats going on when i know whats going on. byebye!

IT'S FRIDAY THE 13TH!

pretty boring day, like always. SSDD! i was watching house md season 1. and they look so much younger. and thinner. its crazy. anyway, im tired. so im gonna go to be. ill talk to you whe i talk to you. byebyebyebye!!!!!!!!!

its ambers birthday today. and i got her some balloons and a satin flower and a home-made necklace. and its really cute. i gave her a cookie too. and she ate it right after i gave it to her. she said it was good. and i think the balloons i bought are gonna come to her in band! that would be kool. and shes in marketing with the place i got them so they might just do that too. but i dont know. yesterday i had to work. and then after work, me, mitchll, chelsea, ernie, and ryan all went to play pool. and i got four balls in! thats like a lot for me. and it was so much fun. and we might be going to see the new movie that comes out on friday. FRIDAY THE 13TH!!! YAY! im bored and tired and i have to go. classes. :C byebye.

not a whole hell of a lot to say. i went to school today. and it sucked. like always. cuz school is prison. so yeah. im bored. and i created two quizzes today about seven minutes in heaven. its fun. i wish i could play it for real. kinda like spin the bottle. oooooooooooooohhh. i could make a spin the bottle quiz. yay! im unbored now. byebye! ill talk to you later sometime. and i dumped dylan. and im with jay. just so you know. and i love jay! yay for me!

i feel a little better. i shaved my legs. and i guess that calmed me down. weird. i know. but yeah. and i dont know if i want to talk to jay anymore. cuz it hurts that he doesnt like/love me anymore. so yeah. im on crack pills! just sleeping pills. but yeah. i have to go. manda wants the computer. MY COMPUTER! so yeah. ill talk to you tomorrow. byebye!

yeah. i kinda went psycho this morning. cuz i didnt wanna go to school. cuz i dont feel the greatest and i hate school. and i dont know what i wanna do with the rest of my life. and if i do know, i doubt ill get there. cuz i doubt theyre gonna let me back in school. ive missed like 14 or 15 days. and thats truent*. and i dont see myself being a teacher. i just cant see me getting up every damn day to go to school and teach little kids. i just cant. and that scares me. cuz i dont know what i want and what im good at. and my sisters like well most freshmen in college change their majors 4 times. im not even in college and i dont know what i want. how am i supposed to pick classes if i dont know? i cant. and i still love jay. and i dont think he loves me anymore. the last time he said he loved me sounded forced and he only said it becuz i said it first. and me and otto are over. i just gonna tell him that when i see him next. he hasnt even called me. and hes gonna say cuz he forgot my number. ive told him 5 times. and he can never seem to remember. guess its not important enough to him. im just gonna go cry again. ill talk to you sometime later. byebye.

yeah. life blows. i havent gone to school in two days. cuz i dont feel good. and i fucking hate school. so yeah. im gonna watch the rest of true blood and then call jay and then go to bad. ill ttyl. byebye!

and six more weeks of winter and i hate alex and the whore!

i hate my fucking sister. ok. i came home in a bad mood with my dad. but when i walked in the door, i was friendly and said him manda. and she didnt say anything. so i set my homework down. and went to go talk to my mama in her bedroom. and i talked to her for about 15 mins and left with my computer. so i went back to the table and set my computer down. and i was plugging it in. and she came out. just getting out of the shower. and shes like your sitting here arent you. i said yes. and shes like well i have to get ready to go to work. i need the cord. so i unplugged it and threw it. and she got all pissy and was like you dont need to throw it. im not the one youre mad at. i said im not the one who started this argument. i was fine with you. i just have to do my homework. and shes like well i have to get ready. i think work is more important. and im like i have to do my homework so i can pass with better grades than you did. she passes with a 2.6. but anyway i called her a stupid bitch and told her that im smarter than she is. and i am. and she knows it. and she hates it. and she hates me. so yeah. i am officially hating my sister. and i dont love her anymore. i havent loved her in a long time. like if i had no friends, and i was getting married, i wouldnt have her be my maid of horror. id find some random chick and be like you wanna do me a favor? ill pay you! so yeah. i hate my sister, i hate school and homework, and i hate my boyfriend. my life rocks. NOT! *crys in corner really loud*

im bored. and im tired. and i hate alex. so thats about the sum of my life. and i hate my life. so im gonna go cry now.

my arm doesnt hurt. im kinda surprized. kinda like my parents are suprized i even gave blood. cuz they think that i have a problem with needles. but i really dont. but when they did the needle i do have to admit that it stung like a bitch. cuz of the iodine. but i dont have a problem with needles. except if theyre trying to get an iv in me and it takes them fucking 14 tries to do it. then i have a problem. that was a long time ago though. last school year sometime. i dont remember. but i was in the hospital. speaking of hospital, i wonder if thats were otto is. i miss him. and i wonder how hes doing. maybe ill call him and see whats up. idk though. maybe. im bored. dada and i started the die hard saga. we just like to watch movies. and im gonna see if he and i can watch the second one today. but i doubt it. im bored so im gonna go delete shit i dont need off here. byebye!

i came home during lunch. and i had to have mama team up on dada to do it too. it was lame. i was all weak and woozy and pukey and stuff. they took a damn pint. a fucking bagful of the shit. and i was like all over the place. i couldnt think straight for like an hour. it was a really weird feeling. ill do it again if i can get out of school again. but i doubt it. i saved three peoples lives! hurray! i came home and slept. but im not as bad as otto. he has argon poisoning. he got it in votech. cuz his teacher turned of the vent or something. i dont know for sure. but he looked really bad today. and he had a headache and was all spralled* out of the band room chairs during lunch right before i went home. and i felt bad for him. im dating him again. i guess this makes like 10 or 11. i dont know anymore. but i feel bad for him with the poisoning thing. and im gonna go to prom with him. like i mean if he makes it. cuz ive heard that people like die from this shit. but i dont know. im not that smart really. so yeah. and jay i think doesnt like me anymore. so yeah. im moving on. with otto. dont know how long thats gonna last though. but im gonna try. and im not gonna have sex with him. at least not for a long long while. like a year or more. cuz i dont wanna get involved with him just to get involved. and i dont want sex. and i dont wanna get pregnant. even though i am on birth control. but yeah. and i dont wanna hurt him. cuz hes a friend/boyfriend. its confusing really. if i break up with him again, im still gonna go to prom with him and be his friend. cuz hes not normal like me. but thats a long weird story that i prolly shouldnt tell. so yeah. im bored. i love draco malfoy and cant wait for the next harry potter movie to come out. and i dont know if theyre gonna do more books. i hope they do. i want to see what their kids do. like get in trouble and fall in love and stuff like that. im really tired. so im gonna go. ill talk to you tomorrow prolly. byebye!

im so tired that i forgot to put make-up on! and i never do that. i cant go without make-up! i dont have that many eyelashes cuz i picked them out. and i look really really bad. and im giving blood today. so im gonna see if i can go home after votech. but i doubt it. i dont think my dad will fall for it. he'll be like, you can go the rest of the day if you went through votech. and im gonna be like im tired and woozy. so yeah. ill talk to you later and tell you how it went.

bored. still. just messing with my music on my playlist. gonna go watch family guy now.

god i am so fucking bored. i have nothing to do. and im still pissed at alex. but for a different reason now. he wont drop the fucking subject of that whore. and i think its cuz he thinks that i still think that hes the fucking god of this damn world. i dont fucking like the stupid mother fucker bastard! if i had the chance, id kill him. only if i could get away with it and not get in trouble at all. and i only did my "good deed" of telling on kacey cuz i didnt wanna get in trouble for knowing and not telling. so yeah. i just want him to shut the fuck up about the cheating backstabbing bitch. but he wont. im gonna tell him straight up to shut the hell up the next time he brings it up. cuz im done with that whore coming back to haunt me. i was friends with her sure. but that was a long time ago. before all the backstabbing bitchyness started. and i know that isnt spelled right. but i dont fucking care. i wanna kill her myself. if i could get away with it. but i cant. so yeah. im just gonna sit here hating everyone for right now. and go read some more harry potter fan fics. byebye!!!!!!!!!

so i guess kacey the bitch was in the store today. and alex the douchebag went running like a scary rabbit. i think its funny. im just glad i wasnt there. cuz she prolly would have kicked my ass. but then again, id get out of school for a lil bit. so i wouldnt really care. and she would go to jail. so thats another plus. so i wouldnt really mind the beating except the lil bit of pain id have. but yeah. i still hate alex the douchebag. and calsey talked to me today. and i was semi-nice. as nice as i can be. which isnt overly. but anyway. i talked to her. but i said that im still pissed at her and shes still a goddamn fucking whore. im nice arent i? but yeah. i was/am tired. and i wore my glasses today. so i had a really major headache. and we were taking notes in anatomy and physiology so i took a nap. so im gonna fail the next test we take on friday. but then again, i said that about the last test we took and i got a 97%. so yeah. im gonna study tomorrow. or not. prolly not. i dont like studying. too boring. and im getting bored. now. i dont know what i should do. i think im gonna go read some of those harry potter fan fics. ill talk to you later i guess. mmwwaa!!! p.s. i hate work!

nothing much to say. im really freaking tired though. i went to bed at 1030 and got up at 700. and still tired. i g2g. class calls!