i dont know if i mentioned it, but britny is talking to me again. and its pretty scary. and alex and me are ok. for now that is. so yeah. ill talk to you later. prolly today.
yesterday was a pretty eh day. had practice. at a church i might add. and i hit jesus. right in the head. there was a hangy down thing and hes on the cross. and i hit it just right to hit him on the head. i thought it was funny. and everyones like you just hit jesus! and im like im sorry jesus! jay called around 10 and broke up with me. i dont remember all of the conversation cuz i was half asleep and id taken an ambien. but he said that i didnt trust him and that we dont get to see each other. and hes going into the military which i totally dont agree with. he told me there are other fish in the sea and that ill met the right one eventually. but i told him that i love him so much and that i wanna be with him and no one else. but he said no. today... i had a totally and complete break down during 5th hour mentoring. i was trying to help a kid with history. and it was one of those worksheets that you fill in the blanks and they go in exact order. but i couldnt help him find the second answer. so i called mrs raab over to help me. and i told her it was one of those worksheets that goes in order. so she proceeds to tell me that no worksheet is like that and that i have to read further. so she reads a page. and it answers questions like halfway down the worksheet. so im like its not there. and shes like your setting an example for these children. and your not setting a good one right now. you need to read it. so im like i need a break. so i take off at a run to the bathroom. where i cry. for like five minutes. and then i come back. and mrs raab isnt there. but lava (real name alva morgan) asks me if im alright. and i shake my head no. so we go in the hall. and i tell her its family, boyfriend, work, homework, and tennis all put together plus her yelling at me that set me off. cuz i have so much going on right now. and i just wanna cry most of the time. and she told me that this is just a trial. and that life is like this too. so i calmed down. and i sat in the hallway. and then mrs raab came back out cuz she came back when me and lava were talking. and she gave me a note. and i quote "im sorry IF i upset you. forgive me. mrs raab." theres no goddamn if about it bitch! you know you pissed me off. and you know that i was fucking crying and that i dont wanna talk to you! most people dont wanna talk to other people that yell at them and piss them off! shes so goddamn stupid. but yeah. i have that first hour tomorrow. cuz of mme testing. reversed schedule. i dont wanna have gym 5th hour. cuz after that is tennis. and im so fucking sore right now. and im tired. and i wanna cry. and i wanna beg jay to take me back. but i have more pride than that. barely. im gonna go now. gonna watch something. anything. ttyl. byebye. i doubt anything else is gonna happen thats interesting. but if there is, ill let you know.
by the way, i think im gonna make varsity this year. i really hope i do. thats all. ttyl.
not much had happened recently. i tried getting online yesterday but the internet was down cuz of the huge thunderstorm we had. so i was pissed. and i lost my 1600 on espin.com. so im still mad. and im mad at alex and jay. stupid website says alex is spelled wrong. anyway, alex is being a douchebag. and i dont like him much anymore. and i dont like jay much anymore cuz he doesnt call me or come see me. and he doesnt say he loves me first when he does call me. which hasnt been in like four days. tennis started today. so im happy about that. so i finally have something to do after school. besides come home and do homework. and now i work only on the weekends. so thats a plus too. and mama wont get to bitch me out if i do something stupid. ok, more like when i do something stupid. theres not if about it. im bored. i finished my homework. and im mad at most of the people that i would call or text. and i dont wanna talk to amber. cuz shell just ask about eric, alex, and jay. so im not even gonna go there. dont wanna. so bored. i think im gonna go get my headphones so i can listen to three days grace. i love them. im gonna go now. ill let you know if anything fun or exciting happens. but i doubt it. ttyl. byebye.
not much went on before today. so here i am. im bored. and this website is firefox and its underlining everything that isnt spelled right and doesnt have the appostrophy thing. and apostrophy damn. i dont know how the hell to spell it. fuck it to hell. but we had the band festival today. and we got out of fourth and fifth hour. but i also got out of third. i had to do a physical for tennis. which starts monday!!! and i totally cant wait. its gonna be so much fun. but yeah. we got a I at festival. so i get to rub it in jays face that we did better than they did. its funny. speaking of rubbing it in, i can rub in to britny and jay that i have a prom date. that isnt jay. and that is britnys exbf. so hehe. i think its funny. hehehehehehehe
i hung out with britney and zoey yesterday. and it was so much fun. she called maddy over and we played monopoly. and i actually won for once. it was fun. and we played wii sports. and i suck at tennis. but baseball and bowling are fun. and zoeys getting big. and shes so cute. and motherhood really does suit britney. its adorable. i thought she would make a good mama but shes fantastic. and she loves doing it. i wish i could have taken a picture of them glowing. cuz thats what they were doing. they are so cute. it was so much fun hanging out with them though. i cant wait to do it again. probably this weekend again. but probably not today. im gonna go now. im gonna go watch house. ill talk to you later. byebye.
my monkey looks pretty good. all of the blood is gone except for a little in the banana and his tummy. hes a little lighter too. but thats to be expected. cuz its fading in. i just hope i dont have to have him redone. "you say that i didnt try." sorry. listening to three doors down. "i just dont care about you anymore. its not fair when you say that i didnt try. its just that i dont care about you anymore." i love that song. its called let it die. i dont wanna go to work. and i dont wanna work with people that are so goddamn stupid. but i dont work with alex. so thats a stupid person down. i saw jay yesterday. and we were ok. but today hes even farther away from me. and i talked to him yesterday about it. and he said it wasnt intentional. but i think it is. i dont think he loves me anymore. and i really dont wanna lose him. but think of all the shit that i have pulled on him. the next time i talk to him, im gonna ask him if there is anything that he wants to talk about. like stuff that i did to him and stuff like that. but hes not gonna talk. i know that already. but i should prolly go. i have to have dad put cream on munchiey the monkey and i have to get ready still. so ill talk to you later. and let you know whats going on with me and jay. ttyl. byebye.
i got my tattoo yesterday! its my flying monkey! and i think im gonna name him munchiey. thats what mama said i should name him. and i cant think of anything better to name him. hes so cute. im gonna try to get a picture of him. but i doubt its gonna work. and alex wants me to go to his birthday party on friday at craigs cruisers. but amber and i have band festival. at 3. so yeah. i dont think we're gonna make it. so we're gonna have to go and do it sometime other. which sounds weird. but yeah. i love my tattoo. im bored. so yeah. im just gonna watch house. but ill talk to you later. byebye.
second tri is over. so im going yay. and we have friday, monday, and tuesday off. and im gonna get my tattoo tomorrow. but i dont know what. but yeah. i have team activities, senior english, band, anatomy and physiology, and mentoring. so im gonna have to fucking run and do shit in team activities. i cant breathe. my asthma is messing up. so i cant breathe. cuz of work yesterday. and im bored. so im just gonna keep watching house. and trying to breathe. mmwwaa. byebye.
im now ok with what i did with jay. i dont really think im stupid anymore. and im gonna stay with him. cuz i love him. so yeah. and im not gonna break up with him if alex wants me back. im done messing around with alex. and im done cheating on jay. i love jay. im gonna go now. im gonna go talk to the consilors***. byebye.
*british voice* you know what i am? im a bloody idiot. thats what i am. *normal voice* i had sex wish jay. even though i broke up with him. but he doesnt know that i guess. so yeah. heres how it went. i got home from school. britney daniels called. wanted me to come over. i call her back and dada says, you have someone waiting outside. so i tell her ill call her back. and i go out there. and hes standing there. and he tells me hes just got back from san diago. what the bloody fuck?! and then we go bowling cuz i tell britney that jay has surprised me with a bowling trip. so im gonna hang with her friday or saturday. i feel bad though for leaving her behind not going. i talked to alex just now. but ill finish the story. so we bowled. and then we came back here to my house. and then we messed around in the backroom. and then i had the bright idea of going in my mamas bedroom. and we had sex in there. so yeah. i still think that im just a booty call for him. and that he doesnt love me. but he told me that he didnt cheat on me. so i dont know whether to belive it or not. and back to alex. i called him. cuz i wanted to talk to someone before i did something stupid. and he knows i had sex. i basically outright told him. and he said just to do what i think is right. so yeah. he helped calm me down. so im thankful. i just wish i hadnt done it. cuz that makes jay think that he still has a chance. and i dont know if i wanna give him another chance. and i hurt. like really really fucking bad. no pun intended. but yeah. im gonna go now. ttyl. byebye.
i broke up with jay last night. but it was over facebook. cuz he doesnt have his phone on. its turned off cuz its dead. i think. but yeah. im in four hour anatomy. and i have nothing to do. cuz i did my report. and i did my government i was supposed to do yesterday. and im not even sad i broke up with him. i did cry last night about it. but that was it. im just gonna stay away from guys for a while. i got bored on the bus ride back to the high school from votech. so i drew a heart on my hand. its kool. its red and it has a black outline. and i think im gonna get that as a tattoo but on my foot and green. and a little smaller. but it does look kool were it is. but id never get a job if i put it were it is. so yeah. im really bored. so im gonna go now. ill talk to you later. i dont know when. and ill update you if anything exciting happens. which it wont. byebye.
i hate alex again by the way. and i dont wanna talk to him. and i dont wanna talk to jay. cuz i think he went to the strip club again with his dad. if i found out he did, then im gonna kill him. or just break up with him. i dont know. i hate my life. i wish things were simple. byebye. for real this time.
yeah. we lost snowcoming. but that isnt the best part. apparently after the game, all the boys on the team were in the locker room crying! dude, thats so totally awesome! nothing much else to report. except that mandas exbf steven is trying to hit on me. ok, not trying, is. but hes older than me, is disgusting, but has good taste in music. and i dont like him as more than a friend. we were watching a movie once, the chronics of riddick, and he was jacking off behind me. talk about gross. i dont like him at all. but i dont know how the hell to tell him. cuz if i do, its just gonna get back to manda. and then shes gonna yell at me. and then im gonna yell back. and then its gonna be an all out war. and i dont want a war right now. i have other things to worry about. like work and tests at school. and finding new classes to take for next tri cuz i got kicked out of votech. i dont know. im gonna go now. dont know what im gonna do but ill talk to you later. probably tomorrow. i dont know though.
snowcoming tonight. but i dont wanna go to pepband. not going to the dance. im bored. nothing going on. the pep rally sucks. and im bored. still. byebye.
got kicked out of votech next trimester by the way. *laughing hard*
yeah. and we have already started the plan. BALL IS IN MOTION! i put my hotmail name to say "megh bogdan" just to see what she says. and she hasnt logged on since ive done it. so i dont know if shes gonna say anything. but she more that likely will. and i cant wait for it. and me and him are more than likely gonna get back together. dont know how long. but longer than it did that last time. and if we do, we still have somethings to talk about. cuz we aint completely perfectly right. and i think he knows that. but he said that he needs sometime to get over britny. and id be over her pretty fast. cuz shes a whore. and i hate her fucking guts. but then again, ive never dated her. and i dont wanna start now. i have other problems on my hands. im in love with both my best friends and my boyfriend. the bf is alex the other bf is amber and bfcurrent is jay. and i dont know what the fuck to do about it. cuz its so totally confusing. i hate my life, i hate my job, i fucking hate school, i fucking hate the whole bloody godddamn world. i g2g. ttyl.
well it looks like me and alex are gonna try to get back at britny. when she gives him back his shit, which i doubt she ever will, im gonna take his jacket and wear it in front of her just to see what she'll do. and im gonna see if alex will date me. but becuz of this whole mess, i doubt it. too bad. i do miss and love him. but yeah. i should prolly go. i have to go to votech. and deal with the kids. but im too damn tired to wanna go do that. i'll talk to you later. byebye.
ok. i just got done talking to alex. ok. about an hour ago. but he told me that hes givin me new powers that are gonna help me out in the future. and im like i dont know about that i dont know anything. but yeah. and he told me that im not completetly humann anymore. and i dont know what the hell to say about that. he said that i am about 45% human still. and that that is prolly gonna change. but i dont konw if thats gonna happen. i dont know whats going on around here. so yeah. im going insane and stuff. and people think im not human and stuff. and i dont see why they dont think im human. i mean i am human. but i dont act a little different. and i hate this drug. cuz i can see the letters crunching in on each other when im texting further down. and it is kinda weird to see that. but i dont know if im fully human or not. i would like to think i am. but that would be cool with me if im not. i just wanna know how to use these powers. but my feeling is that im gonna have to use alex as a rat to see if they work. but theyre from him. so i dont know if any of this confusing shit is gonna work. it might. it might not. god only knows. so yeah. im gonna go to bed now. im way past my bedtime. i guess ill talk to jay tomorrow too. but yeah. wonder what my bad feeling is though. ill find out soon enough. later. byebye.
yesterday was so much fucking fun! we ended up going to the late show that started at 11:40. and i didnt get to bed until like 2:45. and i feel asleep really fast. like ten minutes after my head hit the pillow. but we went to hooters. i didnt like the food or the shorts. they were so damn tight that those girls couldnt have been wearing underwear underneath those. but thats just what i think about it. the movie was so fucking awesome!!! there was this one kill that was the best. this guy and girl were on the floor of a house and jason was underneath it. and he started shoving his machette up through the floor. and the chick is all freaking the hell out. and the guy is like get off the floor! and he gets killed like that. i liked that one. and the one that a girl was in the water and shes under a dock trying not to breathe loud. and jason walks out on the dock. and he slams the machette down through the dock right through the top of her head. it was so kool! i was watching through my fingers though. i love scary movies but i like watching them by myself. cuz i dont have to worry about people looking at me like im weird for being scared. and it makes it so much scarier to be alone watching it. and by the ending, theres gonna be another one. and i cant wait. and there was a preview for transformers number two. but they didnt say when its coming out. which everyone thought was odd. which it was. and there was another kill that everyone liked. there was an asshole. and he got it right through the back. and then was shoved onto a spike on some random guys truck. it was kool! and a girl that was awesome and perfect for the main guy died! and i was mad. i liked her. ive seen her in something else. but it was a great movie. and im so glad that i was able to go to it. i thought i wasnt gonna be able to go cuz it was so late. and i had to be to work at 11. which sucked by the way. no, but on the way back, we almost went into the ditch! ryan was driving and it was snowing pretty bad. and he was going about 70. and all of a sudden, we just slipped. and he had to crank the wheel all over the place to get us out of going into the ditch. and we were completely sideways three times! and i was actually not freaking out. and the rest of them were silent except ernie. stupid asshole wanted to go into the ditch! and amber was all crying and stuff after we were done spinning around. and ernie wasnt making it better. so i had to keep slapping him and telling him to shut the fuck up. but no, i got back at him. i was molesting him. and running after him calling baby dont leave me! chelsea told me to do it to be honest. but it was so much fun. cuz he hated it. and was all like get off me and oh my god! but yeah. i made it home alright i guess you could say. but my mama cant find out that happened. cuz id never be able to hang out with them again. but ryans a really good driver. and im still surprised that he managed to save it. but he said that his brother taught him how cuz his brother does it all the time. so yeah. but im done, my hands hurt like a bitch. later gator. ill let you know if i forgot anything. ttyl. mmwwaa!
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!