im so fucking pissed off. i didnt make varsity. and its all because of my partner holly. i did everything i could do. and i did it all right. i even took a ball in the throat that could have killed me for that fucking team. and they need me on jv. its fucking bullshit. im better than elaina and rachel. i could beat them. im just pissed. that jv sucks ass this year. and im gonna be the only senior on the jv squad. but coach said that im still gonna get my varsity letter. do you fucking think thats gonna make me feel better? its gonna make me feel better that im gonna get a little dinky letter while being on a shitty, losing team? i dont fucking think so! i want to quit so damn bad. but i have to show them that i cant quit. that they havent gotten to me. that i cant be forced out of anything. and if i dont get my letter, im gonna fucking raise hell. im not gonna play jv just to get screwed over even more than i already am. its not gonna happen. but im gonna go now. i have to get home soon. so yeah. ill talk to you when i get back on the internet. byebye.
yeah. we dont have internet at home anymore. and that sucks ass. nothing much has really gone on. we had a tennis tournament today. and i think im gonna get screwed out of varsity because of the partner i had today. she cant play worth a shit. and it pisses me the fuck off. and i just wanna kill her. ok, i was serving, and she kept hitting it out on the ad side. so we played a fucking grand total of ten fucking deuces. and we ended losing that fucking game and it was the match game too. so i was fucking pissed at her. and i got nailed in the chest today before i served. and i was crying. cuz it hurt like hell and i couldnt breathe and i was panicking. so i was crying and trying to breathe. and coach aldrich came out was talking to me, telling me to calm down and take deep breaths. but i couldnt. so i had to use my inhaler. but yeah. i dont like my partner. i mean i like her as a person, but i dont like her as a tennis player. she has a lot yet to learn about tennis and playing the game. she needs to work on her game completely. so yeah. im gonna go now. oh, by the way, i want jay back, i had a dream about him, and im gonna go after him. so yeah, hes in for it. ttyl. byebye.
i finished the essay, the cornell notes for the 20 pages, and the webquest. and i think my mind is melting. and im so damn tired. i just wanna crawl in bed and never get back out. but i have to stay here for another half hour. so yeah. i hope they get out early. and i really dont wanna swim tomorrow. but yeah. ill talk to you later. byebye.
i am so fucking crying on the inside. cuz i have a essay to do, read 20 pages with cornell notes, a web quest with 2 parts, get three dividers, and do 3 fucking reports on golf, snowboarding, and wrestling. and i dont fucking wanna. all but the reports are for english. and the reports are for team activities. and i have to swim tomorrow. and i had a fucking sprained ankle! stupid asshole mother fucker gym teacher. i swear hes out to get me or something. and i forgot to say that i have to study for a test tomorrow in anatomy and physiology. and i dont fucking wanna! i hate school with a passion. and i wanna kill it. but at least im gonna be out of school soon. two damn more months. but im gonna go now. i have to get back to my homework. and then i can maybe play clue on the computer. i really wanna. ill talk to you when i get done with the long ass homework. that will be in twenty years! later. byebye.
im still really bored. and really kinda in pain. and still watching house. and it just froze on me. so im kinda mad now. and im bored. out. of. my. mind! so yeah. im gonna go now. and ill talk to you sometime tomorrow. when. im. still. bored. out. of. my. mind! cuz i will be. im gonna go insane before school starts again. byebye.
i have a sprained ankle. and i cant play tomorrow. and i have to stay off it for a while. until it doesn't hurt anymore. so yeah. im bored. and im watching house. so yeah. im gonna go now. byebye.
not a whole lot has happened. i sucked ass today at tennis. and i think coach isnt gonna put me on varsity. and if she puts rachel on there before me, im gonna be fucking pissed at hell. but yeah. after ryan and ernie got out of work, we all, including mama, went to play tennis. and i hit mama right in the chest. and i feel really bad. cuz shes really sore. but yeah. im bored. and that about all thats happened. and im getting pissed. cuz my l key is sticking. and it sucks. but im gonna go now. ill talk to you later.
today was so much fun. we went to holland to these courts called de witt. and it was kool. i like the indoor courts. they ball is faster but its better i think. and i did really good. the only bad things that happened was at the begining of practice, i twisted my ankle when we started to run. and they dont like my serve. the jv coach and jen aldrich. they want more of a spin on my serve and they want me to have my arm straight when it goes up instead of half bent. but i like me serve. it works and it get aces. so i like it. and im not gonna change it. so yeah. but crazy bounce was fun too. its a little kids place. but i dont see why. they slides are way too big for them. and they were crying. and the jousting thing was too big too. and dodge ball isnt for little kids either. so i think it should be teens. but yeah. i had fun. we took a team picture infront of the blow up tiger. that sounds wrong. but all of the girls were talking to me. so its good. i think they like me. and like that im good. but im bored now. so im gonna go read some more harry potter fan fics or something. ttyl. byebye. oh p.s, by the looks of it msu lost. they have six minutes left and its 64 46 ohio state. so yeah. im happy about that. yay. byebye.
today wasnt as interesting or fun. just boredom. i didnt go to first and second hour again. but imagine that. this is like the third or fourth time ive done it. and my parents keep yelling at me. but i dont care. i graduate in two months. so i really dont give a flying fuck anymore. i just wanna get this shit over with and never come back to allegan. anyway, we did challenges today. i got beat by mallory. but i beat this freshmen halley or hannah. think its hannah. yeah mallory: 6 to 2. Me and hannah: 6 to 0. she sucked massively. but then again, ive been playing half my life. but mallorys been playing for two years. maybe three. but yeah. im thinking coach is gonna put me in singles. cuz she didnt have me play doubles at all. im kinda bored right now. so im gonna go now. i hope my headache goes away. i get to go to practice tomorrow. and then krazy bounce. not sure what it is. but ill tell you when i get back tomorrow. ttyl. byebye.
the funniest thing ever happened today at lunch. my prom date tj ross, britny's ex, put on some of my really short shorts! it was so damn funny! and i even have pictures! he put them on the first time and i didn't get to see it. but he said that he got three feet out of the bathroom and Mr mallard yelled at him to take them off. so he came and found Otto and i and he put them back on for us. and Otto had the most disgusted look on his face that i have ever seen. i was laughing so hard! and people were walking by going what the fuck?! and i told tj that he can just keep the shorts. cuz i don't want them cuz they touched his massively hair legs. kinda gross actually. but funny. i call him tito. its hilarious. yeah. tennis was ok. im doing better. but my backhands are better than my forehands. that's kinda weird too. but the girls are being semi-nice to me. cuz they prolly finally see me as being good. cuz im about to make it on varsity. more than likely. i just hope that i make it over rachel. that would be so funny. but i doubt that she would talk to me ever again if that happened. no skin of my nose really. so yeah. im bored. im gonna go warm some water to take a bath. i'll talk to you later. byebye.
i took a warm bath. and i feel so much better. just thought you should know.
i dont know if i mentioned it, but britny is talking to me again. and its pretty scary. and alex and me are ok. for now that is. so yeah. ill talk to you later. prolly today.
yesterday was a pretty eh day. had practice. at a church i might add. and i hit jesus. right in the head. there was a hangy down thing and hes on the cross. and i hit it just right to hit him on the head. i thought it was funny. and everyones like you just hit jesus! and im like im sorry jesus! jay called around 10 and broke up with me. i dont remember all of the conversation cuz i was half asleep and id taken an ambien. but he said that i didnt trust him and that we dont get to see each other. and hes going into the military which i totally dont agree with. he told me there are other fish in the sea and that ill met the right one eventually. but i told him that i love him so much and that i wanna be with him and no one else. but he said no. today... i had a totally and complete break down during 5th hour mentoring. i was trying to help a kid with history. and it was one of those worksheets that you fill in the blanks and they go in exact order. but i couldnt help him find the second answer. so i called mrs raab over to help me. and i told her it was one of those worksheets that goes in order. so she proceeds to tell me that no worksheet is like that and that i have to read further. so she reads a page. and it answers questions like halfway down the worksheet. so im like its not there. and shes like your setting an example for these children. and your not setting a good one right now. you need to read it. so im like i need a break. so i take off at a run to the bathroom. where i cry. for like five minutes. and then i come back. and mrs raab isnt there. but lava (real name alva morgan) asks me if im alright. and i shake my head no. so we go in the hall. and i tell her its family, boyfriend, work, homework, and tennis all put together plus her yelling at me that set me off. cuz i have so much going on right now. and i just wanna cry most of the time. and she told me that this is just a trial. and that life is like this too. so i calmed down. and i sat in the hallway. and then mrs raab came back out cuz she came back when me and lava were talking. and she gave me a note. and i quote "im sorry IF i upset you. forgive me. mrs raab." theres no goddamn if about it bitch! you know you pissed me off. and you know that i was fucking crying and that i dont wanna talk to you! most people dont wanna talk to other people that yell at them and piss them off! shes so goddamn stupid. but yeah. i have that first hour tomorrow. cuz of mme testing. reversed schedule. i dont wanna have gym 5th hour. cuz after that is tennis. and im so fucking sore right now. and im tired. and i wanna cry. and i wanna beg jay to take me back. but i have more pride than that. barely. im gonna go now. gonna watch something. anything. ttyl. byebye. i doubt anything else is gonna happen thats interesting. but if there is, ill let you know.
by the way, i think im gonna make varsity this year. i really hope i do. thats all. ttyl.
not much had happened recently. i tried getting online yesterday but the internet was down cuz of the huge thunderstorm we had. so i was pissed. and i lost my 1600 on espin.com. so im still mad. and im mad at alex and jay. stupid website says alex is spelled wrong. anyway, alex is being a douchebag. and i dont like him much anymore. and i dont like jay much anymore cuz he doesnt call me or come see me. and he doesnt say he loves me first when he does call me. which hasnt been in like four days. tennis started today. so im happy about that. so i finally have something to do after school. besides come home and do homework. and now i work only on the weekends. so thats a plus too. and mama wont get to bitch me out if i do something stupid. ok, more like when i do something stupid. theres not if about it. im bored. i finished my homework. and im mad at most of the people that i would call or text. and i dont wanna talk to amber. cuz shell just ask about eric, alex, and jay. so im not even gonna go there. dont wanna. so bored. i think im gonna go get my headphones so i can listen to three days grace. i love them. im gonna go now. ill let you know if anything fun or exciting happens. but i doubt it. ttyl. byebye.
not much went on before today. so here i am. im bored. and this website is firefox and its underlining everything that isnt spelled right and doesnt have the appostrophy thing. and apostrophy damn. i dont know how the hell to spell it. fuck it to hell. but we had the band festival today. and we got out of fourth and fifth hour. but i also got out of third. i had to do a physical for tennis. which starts monday!!! and i totally cant wait. its gonna be so much fun. but yeah. we got a I at festival. so i get to rub it in jays face that we did better than they did. its funny. speaking of rubbing it in, i can rub in to britny and jay that i have a prom date. that isnt jay. and that is britnys exbf. so hehe. i think its funny. hehehehehehehe
i hung out with britney and zoey yesterday. and it was so much fun. she called maddy over and we played monopoly. and i actually won for once. it was fun. and we played wii sports. and i suck at tennis. but baseball and bowling are fun. and zoeys getting big. and shes so cute. and motherhood really does suit britney. its adorable. i thought she would make a good mama but shes fantastic. and she loves doing it. i wish i could have taken a picture of them glowing. cuz thats what they were doing. they are so cute. it was so much fun hanging out with them though. i cant wait to do it again. probably this weekend again. but probably not today. im gonna go now. im gonna go watch house. ill talk to you later. byebye.
my monkey looks pretty good. all of the blood is gone except for a little in the banana and his tummy. hes a little lighter too. but thats to be expected. cuz its fading in. i just hope i dont have to have him redone. "you say that i didnt try." sorry. listening to three doors down. "i just dont care about you anymore. its not fair when you say that i didnt try. its just that i dont care about you anymore." i love that song. its called let it die. i dont wanna go to work. and i dont wanna work with people that are so goddamn stupid. but i dont work with alex. so thats a stupid person down. i saw jay yesterday. and we were ok. but today hes even farther away from me. and i talked to him yesterday about it. and he said it wasnt intentional. but i think it is. i dont think he loves me anymore. and i really dont wanna lose him. but think of all the shit that i have pulled on him. the next time i talk to him, im gonna ask him if there is anything that he wants to talk about. like stuff that i did to him and stuff like that. but hes not gonna talk. i know that already. but i should prolly go. i have to have dad put cream on munchiey the monkey and i have to get ready still. so ill talk to you later. and let you know whats going on with me and jay. ttyl. byebye.
i got my tattoo yesterday! its my flying monkey! and i think im gonna name him munchiey. thats what mama said i should name him. and i cant think of anything better to name him. hes so cute. im gonna try to get a picture of him. but i doubt its gonna work. and alex wants me to go to his birthday party on friday at craigs cruisers. but amber and i have band festival. at 3. so yeah. i dont think we're gonna make it. so we're gonna have to go and do it sometime other. which sounds weird. but yeah. i love my tattoo. im bored. so yeah. im just gonna watch house. but ill talk to you later. byebye.
second tri is over. so im going yay. and we have friday, monday, and tuesday off. and im gonna get my tattoo tomorrow. but i dont know what. but yeah. i have team activities, senior english, band, anatomy and physiology, and mentoring. so im gonna have to fucking run and do shit in team activities. i cant breathe. my asthma is messing up. so i cant breathe. cuz of work yesterday. and im bored. so im just gonna keep watching house. and trying to breathe. mmwwaa. byebye.
im now ok with what i did with jay. i dont really think im stupid anymore. and im gonna stay with him. cuz i love him. so yeah. and im not gonna break up with him if alex wants me back. im done messing around with alex. and im done cheating on jay. i love jay. im gonna go now. im gonna go talk to the consilors***. byebye.