[og_ghost]'s diary

126244  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2004-01-14
Written: (7596 days ago)

OK. i might end up using this diary here less for literary or even individual purposes, but merely for exploratory purposes.

Firstly, I need to come up with a much easier way to control my objects. I think new and linked lists would help with the polygon draw function, each with a list of links to draw between. of course, once I've done that, i have NO idea how i would map a skin onto it.

meanwhile, however, i should at least be able to do this wireframed. i really should. perhaps a link would do it. have, say, a hand object, a forearm object, elbow object, bicep object, and shoulder object, rendering the need for at least 4 points, but probably 5. At each point link to an object and then move to the next point, allowing the points to handle movement and the objects to handle the real visuals. so that they can draw themselves. but how could I link like that?

123992  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2004-01-10
Written: (7601 days ago)

Dude, this week won't end! It's still Friday! It was Friday before! It was friday this morning! And that was forever ago!
Now, I have all this homework to do. Arg.
And she's gonna be angry if I don't mention her, so I'll mention that I enjoyed playing for her today.

110146  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2003-12-08
Written: (7633 days ago)

yesterday, I got my nohemi her build a bear. It was actually a lot of fun, surprisingly. It was a weird fun. Like... i dunno, but I enjoyed making it for her. And I know she is going to love it sooo verymuch when she gets it... *proud!*

105892  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2003-11-28
Written: (7643 days ago)
Next in thread: 105998

Me = Meg
You = Deg/Du
You = Dere
Us = Oss
We = Vi

Him = Han
Her = Henne
It = Det

forskjell = Difference
forskjellig = Different
forskjellen = the difference
forskjellene = the differences

105066  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2003-11-26
Written: (7646 days ago)

It's over. All of it. Forever. Dead and gone. That isn't cool. I have lost everything that I am, or rather, everything that once was. So now, I am not who I was. But, if I am not him, who am I now? I don't even know me anymore. I have no credibility. I have.... I have.... nothing.

100976  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2003-11-16
Written: (7655 days ago)

And another possible location for my Nohemi. Damn, the things I do for that woman.

Hollywood and Highland
6801 Hollywood Blvd. Suite 200
Hollywood, CA, 90028

Telephone:
(323)461-6105

Fax:
(323)461-6197

Hours:
Sunday to Thursday 10am to 7pm
Friday and Saturday 10am to 10pm

100975  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2003-11-16
Written: (7655 days ago)

IMPORTANT!

Don't be an idiot and forget like you always do

Build-A-Bear location for my Nohemi:

Westside Pavilion Shopping Center
10800 West Pico Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA, 90064

Telephone:
(310)446-3290

Fax:
(310)446-3291

Hours:
Monday-Friday: 10 am-9 pm
Saturday: 10 am-8 pm,Sunday: 11 am-6 pm
100974  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2003-11-16
Written: (7655 days ago)

Nope. Still don't feel like it.

97623  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2003-11-10
Written: (7662 days ago)

YES!!! I just found my famous CAHSEE essay! I will put it in here sometime soon.

94188  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2003-11-03
Written: (7668 days ago)

Learning Norwegian:

er = is
vakker = beautiful
Filurkatten = Chershire Cat
katten = cat
hei = hello
mitt = my
navn = name
god natt = good night
god = good
natt = night
(Learned from [Evakulator])

94117  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2003-11-03
Written: (7668 days ago)

Candlelit Eyes:



With piercing face and furrowed brow
A lit candle eyes do thus reflect
And, though it small, tis slow to bow
Before it's choice doth thus elect

This tiny flame atop its wick
And perched over a grand candle
Where it sleeps, stands, dances, sits
Looking over its wax made castle

Devoid of pathos, serene, but free
Even whilst held captive in its tower
And, though confined, still woe to thee
Who underestimates its power

And if it be thought petite, or weak
Or spoken, jests of its device
Because, while it is small, ‘tis meek
Then best to heed me this advice

Leave not that flame alone to wait
and Allow no patrons thus to come
No allies in this cause to aid
To gather in as all for one

For when combined, their rage grows dear
Grows size and heat each added friend
Consuming all that dare draw near
And all the while, base descends

Despite its rage, Despite its might
Despite its wrath, it's drunken state
Ignores all reminders of its plight
And stumbles blindly to its fate.

And when it fills, as full is forced
When hunger grew too large to keep
So that, when all had run its course,
‘Twas nothing left on which to feed

And thus it dies, all changed to worse
And in its wake lies desolation
And of them all, itself most hurt
Existence lost in isolation

So here no stands, this corpse left hollow,
A soul strewn to the elements
And blind to blind, the other follows
But in him find no recompense

Keep straight the path, and walk the light
Commit to mind, lest ye forget
To keep the end and means in sight
Be wary what thine eyes reflect.

93970  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2003-11-03
Written: (7668 days ago)

I think I'm gonna do something. Something drastic. These are drastic times, and they call for drastic measures. I will destroy my school. Not literally, of course. I do not mean to take a bag of molotov's to school and leave a federally offensive fellon. I intend to destroy my school politically.

My principal is an incompetent cow-whore, to say the least. I got to school at 4:30 this morning, so as to sign up for the intersession class of my choice without any problem. I stood for 4 hours. And I still didn't get my classes. They started a weird system using tickets to allow you in the line, and the tickets were given in another line. These tickets were given out at the back of the line. This means that my friend who got there at 6:30 got all his classes. And I did not. I am quite perturbed by all of this.

I plan to make a student union. Because I am not alone in my plight. The school has been threatened by the state to improve its Stanford 9 test scores, or whatever they call it now; it's still the same test. Regardless, my friends and I are the schools saviors. If we decide to bomb the test, the school will get comandeered by the state. That is probably the best way for that school anyway.

Stupid school. They need to stop treating it as an administration, and start treating it as a business. Businesses do not waste their money on frivoless pursuits, and they do not repeat their mistakes. Arg.

93549  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2003-11-02
Written: (7669 days ago)

Wherefore whence the willow came
now leaves, its branches hanging there
Though each denied it's right to name
Still whispers soft through christened air

And here, echos of voices past
do tell the tale and end to yet
The one and other, both the last
the like to each, and neither dead

But live! As living can be more
A loss than gain, so can it give
More than it takes, now keeps in store
The most it has, because it lives.

And in the darkness, far away
From loft, and light, it drifts and shies
From fro and to, and moves to stay
Three back and fourth, to gain the prize

In this dark there does reside
a spritely nymph to raise a mischeif
Disguised in cloth that here confined
Does not haste to speak of grief

That is felt, forever secret
Held evermore so deep inside
In vain hopes to fend off hatred
and keep it safe from prying eyes.

93532  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2003-11-02
Written: (7669 days ago)

Wherefore whence the willow came
now leaves, its branches hanging there
Though each denied it's right to name
Still whispers soft through christened air

And here, echos of voices past
do tell the tale and end to yet
The one and other, both the last
the like to each, and neither dead

But live! As living can be more
A loss than gain, so can it give
More than it takes, keeps in store
The most it has, because it lives.

And in the darkness, far away
From loft, and light, it drifts and shies
From fro and to, and moves to stay
Three back and fourth, winning prize

(Once again for transportation. My main problem this time is meaning. There is no meaning. But it sounds the way it should. Now for the really hard part.)

93452  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2003-11-02
Written: (7669 days ago)

God exists. Period. There is no other option. The existance of God proves his existance. Surprisingly, however, to assume that God doesn't exist, God still proves that he exists. He is a contradiction that leaves itself out of the loop once, and the discredits itself infinitely. Therefore, it is always positive, and he exists.

93380  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2003-11-02
Written: (7669 days ago)

I am going to make a game in which losing a battle does not mean losing the war. I need to decide how I'm going to do it, though.

93340  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2003-11-02
Written: (7669 days ago)

Ok. I have something very much against evolution. Of all the crackpot ideas ever circulated in the scientific universe, this one got accepted. And now, it is taught in schools. And you know the worst part about it? These students, these potential minds and the futures of our precious society, they are taking this knowledge and storing it away without any question, when the slightest doubt would lead to the questions that topple the entire theory. Which is a major supporter to the fact that it is nothing more than a theory, and a poorly formulated one, at that.
Considering that Darwin himself decided that it was a stupid idea should give some clue to it's idiocy. But even if that's not enough, you have the Laws - LAWS! - of thermodynamics directly contradicting the theory. And yet, the theory is accepted as fact.
First, you have the sheer complexity of life. The chance of accidentally making a living cell that functions completely and can reproduce to make more fully functioning cells, each with over a million different intricate enzymes, all required to work together perfectly, is about as likely as having a tornado blow through a junkyard and assembling a fully functional 747 jumbo jet. (not my quote, but certainly well formed.)
Secondly, almost every mutation known to man causes the organism in question to become sterile, meanging that, by the very idea of the theory, they cannot live long enough to reproduce, and therefore are the weakest and mjost likely to die out. And they all have.
Third, the Earth itself is not old enough to handle all the theoretically possible changes required to change from some organic goop to a human being. Not nearly old enough.
Fourth, every single piece of evidence tha supports evolution is circumstantial and subject to complete contradiction with the emergance of new evidence.
Fifth, how could you explain intraspecies symbiosis? Evolution is only possible when it is guided, and once you have established that, there must be some being sentient enough to guide it. And that being must therefore be undying and unaffected by evolution; in other words, must be outside the system that governs the world we know. This fact therefore establishes the existance of a God, and thus discredits the need for an explanation. If there is a God, then creationism is true. Period.
Oh, yes. I'd completely forgotten about the thermodynamics laws.
Lastly, you have the Law of Entropy. In the universe when things are left to themselves, they have the tendancy toward chaos. From order to chaos. And Darwins Theory of Evolution depends on going from chaos accidently to order. And it just doesn't work that way. Sorry.

93324  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2003-11-02
Written: (7669 days ago)

I have started to look seriously at the world around me. Around us. What is becoming of it? And why? Well, I can answer both, but the real question is, what to do? But, for any of you who are reading along and have gotten lost, the what is destruction, and the why is dissention and intolerance. But the what to do.... what to do? Nothing? Surely not, that is not intelligent. But, is the best end to this life death? Really, is it all the best it gets? Because if so, then there is no purpose. And I do not believe that there is no purpose. So there must be some other end. The cheif beginning of man is to glorify himself. So wouldn't the cheif end be to glorify others? And yet, most people live out their whole lives glorifying themselves. Beginning as the man they will never stop being. And everytime they look and wonder what has brought them there, they never see themselves. They are like vampires. When they look in the mirror, they see all reflected save for themselves. They don't see that it was their feet that strode them here, and in their melancholy at their plight, they miss the fact that these feet are just as capable of leaving as they were at coming. This is not to say that it is never too late. However, at the time of realization, the very fact of the realization is proof that there is still some option. After which, when there is no hope, there has been ample time and warning to get ready. At such a time as that, the human mind starts throwing in defense mechanisms, and the person in question won't even notice that something is missing from their life. That the answer is suddenly gone, not just encrypted.

And now, I look back on my entry, and realize that I have lost my train of thought. Derailed and cross-tracked, I leave this entry for a later date.

87458  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2003-10-22
Written: (7681 days ago)

They hastily moved him into what looked to be a meeting room, which still had papers and pencils and trash from the previous meeting. At the front sat the council, and he was directed to a seat in front of them. Sitting in the middle of all of the council members was an aged man of perhaps 35 or 40 years, and he started shuffling some of his papers befoe finally finding what he sought, and then spoke.
"Please state your name."
No reply.
"I said, please state your name. For the record."
"Name, sir?" he said at last. "What name?"
"Your name, please. And do be quick about it, I'd like to be done with this as quickly as prossible."
"I have no name."
"It says here in my file that you are Richard M. Harks. Is this information incorrect?"
"If you say it is."
"The council asks for your cooperation in this matter."
"It was my christening, yes."

87457  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2003-10-22
Written: (7681 days ago)

He was led into a fairly sized room, cieling and walls all covered in metal, and a moniter placed in the room in such a way as to discourage accidental eyes. The screen, which pulsated with a blue, green resonance and lit the room with a cold and peircing light, toward over where they sat him. The guards walked away, and the door was closed. As the light pittered and spithened across the floor, it's color changing slightly with each step it took, his eyes began to dilate. The lighting had something of a hypnotic effect on him, and now, forced into his thoughts, he felt alone. Crammed into his own head, he found nothing to comfort him. Even his memories had forsaken him, telling of joyous days long since passed, and long since forgotten. As the time drew on, he grew distinctly aware of the fact that he had not hade anything to eat that morning. Or the day before. The hunger began gnawing away at him, and now, with such sparce thoughts as these to protect him, he could not hide from it. And here he was left. Alone.

In the evening, he woke up again, and at first saw nothing. As he looked, he realized that the pulsating colored lights had ceased to run, and his eyes adjusted to the normal light again. The silver metal walls, which to his eyes had a yellow tinge to them, suddenly lit up as the door to the cell was opened. He felt the hunger inside him, but when he was actually offered food, what he saw he found repulsive, and he could not eat. Every particle of each item of food they had he knew had been bought by leeching the lives of people to serve the community. Though he needed food, he knew that he would not get it here.

The men assigned to his care hid their frustation with his disguist by disowning their involvement and responsibility. "Fine," they said, "starve if you like. But don't you dare say we didn't try to feed you."

 The logged in version 

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