O Fortuna!
velut luna
Statu variabilis!
semper crescis
aut decrescis;
vita detestabilis
nunc obdurat
et tunc curat
ludo mentis aciem
egestatem
potestatem
dissolvit ut glaciem

Sors immanis
et inanis,
rota tu volubilis
status malus,
vana salus
semper dissolubilis,
obumbrata
et velata
michi quoque niteris;
nunc per ludum
dorsum nudum
fero tui sceleris

Sors salutis
et virtutis
michi nunc contraria,
est affectus
et defectus
semper en angaria
Hac in hora
sine mora
corde pulsum tangite
quod por sortem
sternit fortem
mecum umnes plangite!

Sun May 23, 2004 5:01 pm
So many intruiging games coming out. This is why I love the gaming industry. There's always something to look forward to.

And now, a new development: cross-media gaming. Introducing Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children. Strangely enough, there is a game called Advent Children introduced at E3 that has absolutely nothing to do with Final Fantasy VII, although it looks interesting in its own right. Regardless, FF7:AC is going to be a movie, a DVD film event, and it is going to be fucking awesome.
No other way to say that, really, it's just going to be fucking amazing. Anyway, it takes place 2 years after the ending of the films namesake, and it seems to somehow include both Cloud and Sephiroth. How it will include Sephiroth, I don't know - and neither does anybody else, it would seem. But the graphics look awesome, better than the previous Final Fantasy movie, which was, to say the least, amazing as well. The fight scenes are some of the best I have ever seen, easily matching anything you may ever see from action films such as the Matrix or other entertainment bombs. It is going to be awesome.
Problem is, the whole thing is very Hush-Hush. Very little is known about it, although I have seen a 47 second trailer. A trailer I watched no less than 312.5 times (yes, I watched it half a time before somebody came and closed it on me. I was upset.). It really is simply that amazing.
Rumors are coming that, based upon the success of the movie, they may or may not remake FF7. Other theories say this is just a marketing ruse to get the audience worked up again so that when it does come out, the market will be all ready and willing to buy their merchandice by the bundle. If that is the case, it's working. Still others say that there will be no remake: rather, there will be a sequel. Some hope for a sequel, whereas others do not. I simply fail to see how any sequel could anything but dissappoint after FF7. I want a remake. But that's just me.
I know I'm looking forward to it. I dare you to try to beat me to the front of that line, though: I'm bringing Mr. Strife's sword.

Fri May 21, 2004 3:24 pm
Well, it's been another day, and you all know what that means: Yet another overblown divine expectation! This time I present to you a brand new and impressively original idea. The game: The movies. By Activision and Lionhead Studios, which should be more than enough to get your attention. The graphics look awesome (it is a sim game, though, so how much credit can you actually give the graphics?), where you get to make your own studio, raise your own stars, and make your own movies. Awesome. What it is doing, it is also doing well. Build your own sets, design the studio lot, and tentative promises to buy/sell/trade actors, lots, and movies over the internet. Of course, as your stars get bigger, they get pickier, and it takes more to keep them happy and ON the set, and if you let them, they get BIGGER, and nobody wants to see a 300 pound leading man. Unless, of course, it is in an Ed Wood movie. You can have special effects, and it also goes through the history of cinema, starting with black and white and graduating through research into what we have now. It looks like it is going to be awesome.

But none of this is the best part. NONE of it. Sure, it's all well and good, but so what, right?

So, without starving your curiosity longer, here is the best part: The developers PARTICIPATE in their own forum! The LISTEN!!!!! God, I love Lionhead.

Wed May 19, 2004 5:26 pm
Now, I'm sure I've gone off on this one before, but Peter Molyneaux is a God. Or will be, when he pulls this off. Both of his projects look like sheer works of absolute genius. Black & White 2, which is working hard to fix the problems from the first game, seems to be succeeding, with awesome graphics, more city and culture oriented gameplay, and a smarter creature. The creature part they basically got right in the first game, but now they are adding civilization into the mix: brought to you by the same man who gave you Populous. It promises to be a Civilization or SimCity-esc control over your cities.
Meanwhile, Fable simply looks friggen awesome. Following some of the revolutionary technology of Black & White 2 (tentatively stated, as it has, thus far, revolutionized nothing outside of itself), every choice you make affects the future in what look sto be the most ambitious RPG project ever attempted. The missions are completely open-ended, as you can even choose your side every battle. Case in point: You can go to pick up a mission to protect the mercahnt from the dangerous robbers, or whatnot, and, if you're good, you can save the merchants. Or, if you're bad, you can slaughter the merchants and loot them long before the robbers get there. It's all up to you. What you look like, the way people react, everything. Of course, you might want to start off being somewhat good, so you can woo yourself a pretty lady and get married before you give her the finger and set her on fire. You can save a village or slaughter it. You can even kick peoples chickens. I don't know why, but apparently, it's an evil thing to do. But you can do it.

Mon May 17, 2004 4:01 pm
I have proof now that Half-Life 2 will own everything. I was recently watching some trailer footage of it. Never before has a games graphics actually taken my breath away. Sure, it's been said aplenty, but never in referance to a literal occurance. I couldn't breathe.
The environments look so realistic that there were times I thought it was a video camera. The only things that look even the slightest bit unrealistic is the people, and even then, those are some sexy beasts. I have a new standard of awesome.
In addition, the amazing physics of the game engine allows for infinite replay-ability. Because the game responds in every way to your actions, it is possible to end up having to solve puzzles not set forth by the creators. Case in point: http://www.gametrailers.com/gt_vault/t_halflife2_e3_2k4_cam2.wmv
A problem which was completely accidental, but which needed solving just like any other. In all likelihood, you would never need to solve this particular problem, as it is not a part of the game. The point that takes the kill, however, is that you just might.
The story oriented gameplay continues in the great tradition set forth by Half-Life, but with the additions of awesome graphics, physics, and, perhaps most impressive, destructability.

This has reminded me why I want to make games. Long live team Valve.
The rest of the new half-life 2 clips.
http://www.gametrailers.com/gt_vault/t_halflife2_e3_2k4_cam1.wmv
http://www.gametrailers.com/gt_vault/t_halflife2_e3_2k4_cam3.wmv
http://www.gametrailers.com/gt_vault/t_halflife2_e3_2k4_cam4.wmv
http://www.gametrailers.com/gt_vault/t_halflife2_e3_2k4_cam5.wmv
http://www.gametrailers.com/gt_vault/t_halflife2_e3_2k4_cam6.wmv

I have decided to do my Divine Expectations "column" here as well, for the benefit of all of you who may be gamers. Anyway, here is the first issue:

you really have to love the way people work.
Really. I have been blamed for the pain of someone else, when in fact I had very little to do with it. I have been hated for being nice.
And now I feel I must argue.
So, I will.

Firstly, where is the wrong in being nice? And if there is such a wrong, is there goodness in being mean? I have been nice, only so I could be mean later. Except that I have yet to be mean. but i am mean because i made her trust boys again. which i did by being nice. therefore, i am mean because I am nice. which means that I must be nice, otherwise I would not be able to be mean by being nice. And therefore, since she was mad at me because I am mean, she is mad at me because I am nice. How do you like them apples, eh?

Even so, she was wronged by someone else, and was merely taking here anger out on me. Because something happened, which, by the way, she refused to tell me about, despite the fact that there is NO possible way I could already know what had happened. But it's apparently my fault, anyway.

So, she is more than willing to hate me for what is not my doing, yet she is not willing to blame me for everything. Because there are a lot of things in here life that are not my doing. Therefore, since it is acceptable to blame me for what other people do. Funny ol' world, innit?

I am hated
I am despised
I am hunted

It is all my fault
All your pain and your hate
For giving you water
in this barren land of waste

For showing you shade
As the sun burned you back
For helping you change
And to gain what you lack

I've offered you life
And you've chosen your death



You hate me. You hate me.
I'm me, so you hate me.
I was good to you, so you blame me
That the world isn't like me
You hate me because I'm not like you want
When you had accepted your pain
I brought you along
To this place where for the first time in so long
You've actually been happy. Not a face
not a mask, not a lie, not an act
Not the falsehood you had grown to depend on
But the truth, and you saw how your pain hurt
But you left and you claim that it's my fault
Now you know there is something better
And now you have thrown it away
And now you aren't happy in your gutter
and you need someone else you can blame

Someone wronged you, and that's sad
indeed, lamentable enough,
but for you to then say that I made it?
When it's either you or he who brought pain.

Maybe you're right. Maybe I am mean and evil
Maybe I was just taunting you with lies.
I have given food to the hungry, so hate me.
I have offered relief to the pained
I have comforted sickly, unhappy, and grisly
so yes, for this I'm to blame.

But the thirsty have water and hesitate to drink it
fearful of the dangers of trust
But some of them yet dare to find that it's clean
and it's pointless to mention the rest

Those who dared now go out and remembered clean water
But in truth, have forgotten what it looks like
So they guess for another place for their supply
And are wronged because they though it was healthy

When in fact they were full, they were filled
I had already given them water
But their greed sends them further, and ill has remembered
that gluttony is level with traitors

Positions of Authority.... I like the way my plans are going so far.... I am going to switch over to an established game engine, probably Unreal Tournament.

EUREKA! I HAVE FOUND IT!
Note to self: Next time I can't find or get rid of some annoying fuzz, check the peak meters. The annoying fuzz that we've had for like the past 4 or 5 weeks came from the unactive wireless mic picking up the speakers. Why it was on, i dunno, but that's where it all came from. So, now that I have turned that off, everything is all better now. Which is very encouraging. :D

OK. i might end up using this diary here less for literary or even individual purposes, but merely for exploratory purposes.

Firstly, I need to come up with a much easier way to control my objects. I think new and linked lists would help with the polygon draw function, each with a list of links to draw between. of course, once I've done that, i have NO idea how i would map a skin onto it.

meanwhile, however, i should at least be able to do this wireframed. i really should. perhaps a link would do it. have, say, a hand object, a forearm object, elbow object, bicep object, and shoulder object, rendering the need for at least 4 points, but probably 5. At each point link to an object and then move to the next point, allowing the points to handle movement and the objects to handle the real visuals. so that they can draw themselves. but how could I link like that?

Dude, this week won't end! It's still Friday! It was Friday before! It was friday this morning! And that was forever ago!
Now, I have all this homework to do. Arg.
And she's gonna be angry if I don't mention her, so I'll mention that I enjoyed playing for her today.

yesterday, I got my nohemi her build a bear. It was actually a lot of fun, surprisingly. It was a weird fun. Like... i dunno, but I enjoyed making it for her. And I know she is going to love it sooo verymuch when she gets it... *proud!*

Me = Meg
You = Deg/Du
You = Dere
Us = Oss
We = Vi

Him = Han
Her = Henne
It = Det

forskjell = Difference
forskjellig = Different
forskjellen = the difference
forskjellene = the differences

It's over. All of it. Forever. Dead and gone. That isn't cool. I have lost everything that I am, or rather, everything that once was. So now, I am not who I was. But, if I am not him, who am I now? I don't even know me anymore. I have no credibility. I have.... I have.... nothing.