Parents are so damn annoying...christ...makes me so angry.

So my dad likes to eat at the table. Random semblance that we're a family, when we already have problems and he admitted to wanting to leave my mom, you know? Where's he gonna go? He's too depressed to go out and find friends so he's pretty much stuck here with my mom or move in with my grandma in California. It'd be kinda awesome if he did because he's too depressed to function and it's been like this for over 5 years, so I'm really sick of it and sick of him.

I know I'm supposed to like him, but it's hard when he's so depressed and just expects things to happen when he doesn't even do 1/1,000,000 of what he says he does. More like he doesn't do anything he says he does.

So I brought my laptop down to the table one day to do computer stuff with everyone. My boyfriend was on one computer, my brother on another, and me on my laptop. It was kinda fun but strangely secluded, which was also kinda fun. I got to draw a bit. C:

Anyways, I brought it down and had things set up and stuff. When I left to go to the neighbor's house around 2-3 ish, I closed my laptop, piled everything neatly in the corner, and left. Like 3 hours later, my dad calls and tells me to come home to move my laptop off the table so he and my mom can eat.

My stuff isn't even taking up more than a quarter of the space on the table, but he has to have it cleared to read and everything. It's retarded. So he moves my computer on its side, a very dangerous position for an already half-broken laptop, and pushes the books over so it doesn't fall over. Next thing I know, I'm looking all over hell's half-acre for my tablet and the pen for it and I can't find it.

I swear to god, he friggin' hid the whole thing from me because he's upset I don't listen to him. It's really hard to follow what he says when I always find out later that I could've done it right the first time instead of listening to him. It's pure friggin' idiocy...

God, I'm so pissed I could throw his computer across the room, take a metal bat, and smash it into pieces...maybe even do that to the whole computer stand, too...>,>

Is it normal to feel so destructive to things that haven't done anything wrong to me?

But no, I've messaged him about it and I don't plan to make anything easy for him until he tells me exactly where my tablet is. I bought it. It's my money. I'm an adult. Technically, I could sue him for hiding it on me. I doubt I'd have a problem winning, but I'd have a problem when he says "It's my house, my table, my rules; it has to be clear when I eat from it; everything gets thrown away if it's in my way."

That brings me to another point. His idea of cleaning is throwing out everything else that isn't "his" stuff. He wants to throw out old clothes that "don't fit anyone" when I know I can fit some and my brother can. He wants to throw out pretty much anything in his way, like my mom's sewing stuff, my brother's toys he never plays with, and my notebooks. Christ. I know some of the stuff isn't used, but that doesn't give him the right to take it and toss it without us knowing. He's done that, bagged everything up and just left it there. It pisses me off.

God...I seriously wish I could move out soon...like tomorrow...it seriously makes it hard to live in the same house as him and not feel irritated that he does things. If I could, I'd enjoy seeing him...once a month.

I hate being sick. =,=

It's aggravating. I feel hungry but I don't wanna swallow anything that isn't liquid because my throat's so sore. It's reoccurring strep throat which translates to chronic tonsillitis and if I could just get my damn tonsils out I wouldn't suffer every year. =,=

So yeah. I'm really hungry, hurts to swallow, feel so exhausted even though I didn't do anything today, and maybe even have a bad cough that I blame on the whole damn thing.

Life's got a crazy way of working...

Can we say coincidence or fate?
Some songs just scream out your life...or someone else's you know...


"Breathe (2 AM)"

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button, boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe... just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe,
Oh breathe, just breathe.

In life, everyone has many lessons to learn. How they learn them is what makes us different...I've learned mine and I'll let you know when I stop hurting.

It's been a while since I was able to type things out. C: I love having other computers. xD

So as you may (or may not) know, my house currently has 2 computers and my laptop, so when my laptop's keyboard...virtually asploded (Yes, I do mean asploded because exploding would mean I would be in a hospital and not able to type stuff to you guys. xD) on me, I was like, this is good...it'll be fine...>,> and never got on to other computers until now. lol

So while I have access to other computers with working keyboards, I'm too lazy (some of the time) to get on one on the first level as my bedroom is on the second level. <3

Anyways, I'll try to update as often as I can. I don't know when I'll be getting my new washable keyboard (it's water proof and everything) from my brother, don't even know if he's ordered it, but I haven't been able to help clean his apartment (payment so I don't owe him money since I have none) last week, but I'll get to it. I know I will. C:

But yeah...oh! Jamie is my new kitty, officially mine (and my boyfriend's) as of last week Sunday morning...at like 1 AM. So yeah. C: SO happy! She's adorable. We're still getting my room adjusted. I had no idea I had so much crap and only so much room, you know? I wanna move out of the house soon, but soon may end up being like...5 months from now, after I've already started college and stuff...

I hate relying on money...>,> C.R.E.A.M. = Cash Runs Everything Around Me (stolen from a TV series that ended after the second season called "Dark Angel" starring Jessica Alba and the guy who plays Tony on NCIS, for those of you who know who I'm talking about. (I am really bad with names...))

Earlier, (as in about 2 weeks ago) my space bar popped off my laptop's keyboard. Alright, no big deal. I'll just pop it right back on. A few ago, the hook on one side of my space bar broke off making it impossible to leave my space bar there. The little membrane thingy that depresses so you can type a letter also came off. I stored them safely to put them back on later.

Today, I officially fixed my space bar! ...damn. Now, other keys don't work. My first thought: Just fuck me sideways...


http://normalfatality.deviantart.com/art/On-Sreen-Keyboard-Vista-141203674

This is what I have to use now because my current keyboard on my laptop has multiple broken keys. I'd rather use this kind of keyboard than a broken one.

*The red X's are not seen on the actual keyboard; they're the keys I know are broken/don't work.

My replying will take longer than usual, please plan accordingly. I will do my best to reply quickly. Thanks for reading. C:

Okay, so a while back my space bar came off from my laptop. Now, it just kind of came off the top part and I thought nothing of it. It still worked pretty well, and could do space bar things.

Now, the little rubber membrane underneath the space bar came off and one of the hooks on the left side that kept the space bar where it had to be broke.

Bad space bar. Bad.
,<

I'm sorry, but I'm getting off now. Too much anger at it breaking and I have to go to bed to get sleep and babysit early tomorrow. (8 AM)

I'm currently obsessed with Heroes, from NBC. <3

I'm watching the series from season 1, so if I disappear or say I've been inactive for a while, it's because I'm watching an episode, but fear not for between episodes I must wait a certain amount of time before being able to view the next one.

Basically, I'm going to be on and off all day. C:

Life is good. I dunno if it'll stay that way, but I'm willing to get on the scariest roller coaster human beings could possibly create: life.

Anyways, I love RPing. Anyone who wants to RP can just let me know and I'd be willing. I wanna bring up the number of characters I have, mostly because I enjoy drawing stuff and if I have multiple characters, I can doodle some out and finish other doodles of them. C:

And if you want me to draw your character, too, and you can check out my deviant art as a reference, http://normalfatality.deviantart.com , I'm willing to give it a try.

Thanks to everyone who asked stuff before about my last diary entry. I know you care and I love the fact you do. I have good friends. C: (Don't worry if you didn't; I read diaries a lot and barely comment since usually I have no idea what to say about them.)

As I sit here, alone in my room, I notice the silence that has taken my every word and whisked it away to a far off place. I feel so alone, but I don't feel quite so lonely when I notice the stars that have found the power to shine so bright just for me. The way the world works has began to break my heart into pieces that I've decided to give to those important people that have existed in my life, but those people are leaving me, to sit here, alone in my room, with my life as the only entertainment.
Sounds barely ripple across the room to where I sit. Sounds of life, sounds of living, sounds of love. Suddenly a note blares so loud I'm knocked off the chair I sit in to the ground, far below where it should have been. The hole that I've dug for myself suddenly engulfs me and blocks out those beautiful stars I've come to call my own and though I grasp the walls that crumble away from where I claw I never cease to fall. Warm breath relaxes me as the strong arms of two angels form a blanket on which I land. As I lay there and drift out of time and space and into a realm where I can truly be happy, I remember that one piece that I've given away that can never make it back into the puzzle of my heart, where I will forever bleed from and can never replace.

So my interview went well. C: I'm happy things went smoothly. I rock at math, I like talking, it was good...although I will admit I was nervous and somewhat jittery...couldn't sit still easily, but it went well. I hope to get a call back on Saturday. <3 It'd make my day! x3

Okay, so I have a general update to give you all, since I haven't updated anything lately. xD I need to redo my house...lol

Anywho, I recently rearranged my room, so now I'm able to play computer at my desk. That's a major YAY! for anyone who's been following life. xD I such at cleaning but here, I did it! <3


Next, I have recently been applying to jobs. Anyone looking for jobs knows that trying to find one while the economy friggin' sucks is harder than finding a needle in a haystack (for those of you who like metaphors like that) but I applied at the right time to get an interview tomorrow! (Wednesday) at 2 PM EST.

*endless squealing and jumping and general excitedness*

If you haven't noticed, I'm so effin' happy about the whole damn thing that I only wish I could've sat still long enough to tell you sooner! x3

So now I feel pretty good. lol I picked a door lock...sort of. lol We thought the bathroom key was locked in one of the bathrooms and kept having trouble with opening the boys room. My boyfriend opened the girls room no problem and looked around for the key in it, but nope, not there.

I ended up taking one of those cool looking plaster/putty knives with points and junk or whatever and prying the door open with it. Of course, my boyfriend had to pull the door because I had to hold the dead latch (the part that goes into the wall when the door's closed). It was irritating and quite fantastic to realize I could do that stuff. xD

First, I like popcorn...I love popcorn...especially kettle corn. It can just brighten my mood. xD
Secondly, I love food. Who doesn't? All nay-sayers can go fuck off somewhere because food is awesome.

Now I've been pissed off before, but lately, it's gotten annoying how easily I can get upset over the simple shit. Like I was in Wal-Mart the other day with my boyfriend and brother at like 2 in the morning, a usual routine with us that now has gotten shoved to just the weekends. And we were walking around, checking out video games, then material for a cloak my mom's gonna make my boyfriend, and I was like, why not check out the food? Of course, earlier that day I was feeling less shitty than the day before on account of myself being prone to strep throat and needing my tonsils removed badly, so food was on my mind a lot because, well, I hadn't eaten anything but popsicles and soup. You get pretty bored with it all at some point. So I walk down the chip isle and see chips on sale, like half off and grouped in a pair, like 2 for 4, I think it was.

So I call out to my boyfriend and he's all immediately, "NO!" That throws me. So, I get pissy and walk out of the store. Why? Because he didn't wait to listen. I can be such a girl, sometimes...I mean, I'm okay to hear a no for things when I ask and I'd've probably asked why and gotten a, "I don't wanna waste money on it cause I don't have a lot" or something, which is fine, I would've accepted it and all...either way, we ended up back at Denny's and I got a huge breakfast special and he got his usual chicken strips and fries and a coke. lol I eat a ton of food after being sick.

Next thing that pissed me off today was when my initial site I check daily (http://www.planetzot.com/forums in case anyone wondered about it) is under temporary removal for renovation. I'm all for making things better, but I hate that they have to close down the site for it...>,>; Grr...

So...yeah. Kettle corn made me feel better, just eating it. C: Yay for food! xD

Stole this from [Piercedskull]. lol

A- Really good kisser.
B-You are always fun when it comes to meeting new people.
C- your wild and crazy
D-You have trouble trusting people.
E-You have a nice ass ;-)
F-People totally adore you
H- ur cool
G-You never let people tell you what to do.
T-You are popular with all types of people.
I-You have a nice ass;-)
J-you are broad minded
K- You like to try new things
L-You have a nice butt;-)
M-You are really hot.
N-Everyone loves you.
O-You love Mickey Mouse
P-You are popular with all types of people.
Q-You are a hypocrite.
R- you are one of the best in bed.
S-People think you are so sexy.
T-you are one of the best in bed.
U-You have very good personality and looks.
V-You are not judgemental.
W-You are very broad minded.
X- You never let ppl tell u wat to do
Y-One of the hardest gangsters alive
Z-You like it in the butt VERY VERY HARD

C-your wild and crazy
A-Really good kisser.
I-You have a nice ass;-)
T-you are one of the best in bed.
L-You have a nice butt;-)
I-You have a nice ass;-)
N-Everyone loves you.

...um...is that a good thing? o,O

Do you remember all those cheesy romantic lists people post all over their diary or their house? The ones that say "If you love her, hug her tight and kiss her forehead..." or something just as cheesy?
Well, I've decided it's high time to be the cheesy writer of an original set. lol Since I'm female, I'll only really write from the female perspective because that way, I'll know what's written is true. I don't wanna make a bad one that gets me in trouble. (With who? I don't know. lol)

A Female's Point of View
Girls who wear the skimpy clothing aren't asking for a long relationship.
If you see a group of girls dancing, they're out having fun. The ones looking for hook-ups came to the bar/club alone.
Girls are never looking for a hook-up.
Sometimes, girls just want to be the boss.
Never has any girl simply gone out with someone for sex. They might say they did, but it's never true.
Every girl wants to be treated like a princess once in a while. It doesn't have to happen twice.
Girls don't like to cry even though they do it a lot. Just be there and hold her, then pretend it never happened, even if you're the reason she started crying in the first place.
If girls argue with you about being beautiful, it means they want you to say it again. If she keeps saying "No, I'm not," then just kiss her so she stops talking, then say "You are. Period."
Girls like knowing the truth, even if they don't like hearing it from you. The girls that treat you differently after hearing something they don't like aren't the ones for you.
Girls are girls. It's easy to forget that.
Believe it or not, girls can feel crappy for no reason. Let them blame PMS so they can move on faster.
Even though you like to know they eat, girls don't like eating in front of people they like, especially with something that's really messy.
There's more coming, I just gotta eat food now. lol

Attention all friends, watchers, and other creatures of significance. I have an announcement:

Meow.

If there was ever a time to pay homage to those of you who can actually continue a serious thought and hold on to it, it is now. People out there are suffering inside and out for things that have happened in the world, but they don't matter to the world we each see, the world that revolves around our lives. Your life is wonderful. Your have ups and downs. You have problems. It's your life. Don't exchange it for the one you think you want because then it would no longer be yours, but a lie.

Anyways, here's a "diary" entry that spoke out to me moments ago. <blog:1093540> [Forbidden Rampage] has a wonderful grasp of the English language and how to use it.

To the rest of the people who deserve to be named but are lost in translation, I apologize. It is 4:30 AM where I'm at and my back, hands, and eyes hurt from spending too much time online when I should be sleeping to get back the regular sleeping schedule.

On the topic of Antonio, which I still will call him no matter what anyone says his name is, he is currently residing at my older brother's apartment where he should stay, cute and happy. He had fleas, possibly worms, and is the runt of the litter and only after we gave him a bath, combed out the fleas, and got some liquids into him did he start acting like a true kitten.
For his size, he's quite energetic and tends to follow the kitty fishing toy with feathers attached to the string like it's the only thing worth doing in the world. He should be twice his weight, but only recently has he been rid of a few problems. Anyways, I have yet to hear what Tony's new name is. I hope it something cute because if it isn't, I'm calling him Antonio and he'll get majorly confused.

Well, Goodnight everyone...or rather, goodmorning. I'll get on again later. C:

Title: Another Sleepless Night

I seriously need to start taking sleeping aids or something because my sleeping habits are ruining me. (=),(=) I sleep during the morning hours until around 2, usually, after going to bed around 6 in the morning. It's not very fun at all...

Oh, got a new kitteh. His name is Antonio. Tony for short. He's small, gray, and has a few problems that we need to see a vet to help take care of. x333 He's adorable and sleeps on my tummy all the time.

My phone has suicidal issues. O,o

Today it hopped out of my hand onto the sidewalk. It slid across a good seven or eight squares about two and a half feet long, diagonally every few squares. When I finally picked it up after its battle, it had all these brand new scratches on it!...scary.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3eA08Vj04o8&feature=related
Everyone gets kissed!!!!