I wish we could love,
But I know we'll always hate,
I wish life was easy,
But I know it'll never be so,

I wish you could smile,
But I know you'll just cry,
I wish you could feel alive,
But I know you'll just die,

I wish we could hope,
But I know we're just doomed,
I wish we could be found,
But I know we're always lost,

So where will you go?
Salvation is here.
So where will you go?
Damnation is here.

(And we hide in our hearts 'til they can't beat no more,
We cry in our shells 'til they're withered and worn,
We won't learn to live 'til it's too late and we die,
And we can't ever see 'til we have no more sight.)

Volte Face

What happened?

Why can’t I listen to your voice?
Why can’t I look you in the eyes?
Why can’t I find your smile?
Why can’t I touch you?
Why do I fear meeting you?

When did it happen?

Did I stop following your voice?
Did I stop searching for your eyes?
Did I lose your smile?
Did I avoid your touch?
Did I run away from you?

Nothing happened,
Never happened.

I still hear your voice amid the silence.
I still desire your eyes upon me.
I still want your smile.
I still dream about your touch.
I still look for you everyday.

I keep going.
Keep going because I know the truth.

If sound feeds the soul,
It is your voice that keeps me alive.
If ones’ eyes are windows of truth,
Yours show only mystery to me.
If a smile is happiness itself,
Your smile is my greatest joy.
If a touch means affection,
I’ll never give yours up.
If the search is endless,
I’ll make it a meeting.

I think of you, my heart aches.
I think of you, feel the scent of your hair.
I think of you, I remember how much I need to see you again.
I think of you, ask myself if I’m still alive.

And I realize, again, the truth.

I’m not alive,
For you are not with me.
Away from you I’m just a shell,
A shell, not at all human.

I only live the moments of you,
The moments with you.
Only when I am closer to you,
To your voice,
To your eyes,
To your smile,
To your touch,
Closer to finding you.

Only then I’m alive
Only then I can breathe.
Only then I feel my heart beating again.

It’s you that makes me hang on.
It’s for you that I keep hanging on.
And, for you, I’m never letting go.


(and no Amy, this is NOT for you :p)

("We're supposed to try and be real.
And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real."

Can't wash it all away
Can't wish it all away
Can't cry it all away
Can't scratch it all away
It just won't fade Away)

Last night he dreamt of beauty,
Last night he dreamt of love,
Last night he dreamt of hopes realized,
Last night he was happy once again.

This morning he awoke to a world of nothing,
This morning he awoke to a world of ashes,
This morning he awoke to a world of lies,
This morning he drowned in his tears again.

"Poor, poor dreamer, for how should one ever find the strength or the power to make ones dreams real? How must it feel to be trapped in a world of your own imagining, where everything is just as you'd ever want it, only to awake and find yourself in a world that cares nothing about you? Where nothing is as you would have it? Where love means nothing, honor is foolishness, and Hatred is very real. How out of place such a person must feel. Can you imagine waking every morning and simply wishing to die? I do every morning."