I guess that's where I'm at. The Dreamer was abandoned for something that is nothing more then a dream. Thus what is left for me but to return to my own pleasant dreams? To a love that could never really of ended. Insane? Yes. Misguided? Probably. Wrong? Certainly not.

You silly little girl, I look away and you grow up. Well so did I, and maybe this time we can really make it all work.

1,2,3,4
Plain White T's

1,2 - 1 2 3 4
give me more lovin then i've ever had.
make it all better when i'm feelin sad.
tell me that i'm special even when i know i'm not.
make me feel good when i hurt so bad.
barely gettin mad,
im so glad i found you.
i love bein around you.
you make it easy,
as easy as 1 2,(1 2 3 4.)
theres only one thing two do three words four you.
i love you.
(i love you)
theres only one way two say those three words
and that's what i'll do.
i love you.
(i love you)
give me more lovin from the very start.
piece me back together when i fall apart.
tell me things you never even tell your closest friends.
make me feel good when i hurt so bad.
best that i've had.
im so glad that i found you.
i love bein around you.
you make it easy as easy as 1 2,(1 2 3 4.)
theres only one thing two do three words four you.
i love you.
(i love you)
theres only one way two say those three words
and that's what i'll do.
i love you.i love you
(i love you)
you make it easy, its easy as 1234
theres only one thing two do three words four you i love you
(i love you)
theres only one way two say those three words
thats what ill do i love you
(i love you)
i love you i love you.
one two three four i love you.
(iloveyou)
i love you
(i love you)




I need new music.

Fairytale
SARA BAREILLES


Cinderella's on her bedroom floor
She's got a
Crush on the guy at the liquor store
Cause Mr. Charming don't come home anymore
And she forgets why she came here
Sleeping Beauty's in a foul mood
For shame she says
None for you dear prince, I'm tired today
I'd rather sleep my whole life away than have you keep me from dreaming

[Chorus:]
'cause I don't care for your fairytales
You're so worried about the maiden though you know
She's only waiting on the next best thing

Snow White is doing dishes again cause
What else can you do
With seven itty-bitty men?
Sends them to bed and calls up a friend
Says will you meet me at midnight?
The tall blonde lets out a cry of despair says
Would have cut it myself if I knew men could climb hair
I'll have to find another tower somewhere and keep away from the windows

[chorus]

Once upon a time in a faraway kingdom
Man made up a story said that I should believe him
Go and tell your white knight that he's handsome in hindsight
But I don't want the next best thing
So I sing and hold my head down and I break these walls round me
Can't take no more of your fairytale love

[chorus]

I don't care
I don't care
Worry bout the maiden though you know
She's only waiting spent the whole life being graded on the sanctity of patience and a dumb
Appreciation
But the story needs some mending and a better happy ending
Cause I don't want the next best thing
No no I don't want the next best thing

You'll be loved
Death Cab for Cutie

I once knew a girl
In the years of my youth
With eyes like the summer
All beauty and truth
In the morning I fled
Left a note and it read
Someday you will be loved.

I cannot pretend that I felt any regret
Cause each broken heart will eventually mend
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

You may feel alone when you're falling asleep
And everytime tears roll down your cheeks
But I know your heart belongs to someone you've yet to meet
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved

You'll be loved you'll be loved
Like you never have known
The memories of me
Will seem more like bad dreams
Just a series of blurs
Like I never occurred
Someday you will be loved
Someday you will be loved




I wish I truly believed that. Who's but a dream and who is what I should hold to the end. I know what was only a dream, at least in part, now. You lied to me and yourself about it all, didn't you? Well, I'm over it now too.

The question is, will I ever be over her? Especially now that she's back in my life?

I'm happier then I've been in a long time, but I still must ask...what now?

Someday
The Afters

Ready or not the years are blurring
Running away the mind is turning
Skip to the end to find the meaning
Thoughts are fading, yet I wonder still
Like it or not your eyes are open
Playing around, the circles going
Face of a child, your mind is old
The clock ran down before I could begin

[Chorus:]
I wish we all could win
I wish we all could smile
I wish we all could make our mothers proud

Want it or not you just can't leave it
Throw it away, I can't believe it
Walking for days, I know you'll see that
Times are changing, soon we'll be the same

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge:]
Someday, someday, someday
You'll come around
Someday, someday, someday
Your time will come
There's nothing more that I can do
I know we all can make it through
I hope that someday you will see

[Repeat chorus and bridge]



I guess that's really my highest ideal, isn't it?

I'm glad that for you, at least, that day has come.

While I wonder if I ever can win without making someone lose...

Hate this and I'll love You
Muse

Oh I am growing tired,
Of allowing you to steal,
Everything I have, you're making me feel,
Like I was born to service you,
But I am growing by the hour.

You left us far behind,
So we all discard our souls.
And blaze through your skies,
So unafraid to die.

Cause I was born to destroy you,
And I am growing by the hour.
I'm getting strong in every way, yeah. Yeah.

You led me on, you led me on, you...

Oh, and I'm getting strong in every way,
yeah, Yeah


I hate this, but I guess I don't love anyone. Just keep plodding along you pathetic loser that everyone hates, You'll get there eventually.

Or maybe your asthma will kill you first.

But you want to die anyways, so who really cares.


Now accepting sign-ups for romantic tragedy #3. I'll do anything for you, then you can feel free to exploit me in any way while leaving me either for someone else or for no adequately explained reason. I'm really past caring, I'm just glad someone finds this funny.

And people wonder why I sympathize with broken things...

No one can see the pain that we hide,
They're happy for us to keep it inside,
Our fear is our own; they don't want to know,
Why should we involve them; why should it show.

You live your whole life in confusion and fear,
The need to feel something unbearably near,
Half of you living, Half of you gone,
And inside you know what your doing is wrong.

The thing's that can help, the thing's that may heal,
Are the flame or the blade and the sting of the steel,
The destruction of skin means the death of your soul,
But there's nowhere to run when your living alone.


It's....getting to that point.

Map of your Head
Muse

I'm sick of feeding my soul
to people who'll never know
just how purposeless and empty they've grown.
Because their language confuses
like computers refuse
to understand how I'm feeling today.

I'm freezing.
And losing my way.
I don't need another map of your head.
I am freezing.
And losing my way.
I don't need another map of your head.

I saw a liquid control.
That gives life to us all.
I hit my head on it
and woke up to know.
That I was all alone.
Wearing just socks and a phone.
Someone screaming like their world might explode.

Yeah. I'm freezing.
And losing my way.
I don't need another map of your head.
I'm freezing
and losing my way.
I don't want another map of your head.

Freeeeezing.
And losing my way.
I don't want another map of your head.
I'm freeeeezing.
And losing my way.
I don't need another map of your head.
Yeah...



Might start writing the Albireo story soon, probably over spring break. I've finally figured out what to do with my characters, and stopped villainizing a few of them (Nicoh particularly xD)

Or maybe not. Really depends on what I manage to get done with Amy and Nicole...

God you women make life so difficult.

Roadside
Rise Against

Tell me what I'm supposed to do,
With all these left over feelings of you;
'Cause I don't know

And tell me how I'm supposed to feel,
When all these nightmares become real;
'Cause I don't know

And I don't think you see the places inside me that I find you,
And I don't know how we separate the lies here from the truth;
And I don't know how we woke up one day and somehow thought we knew
Exactly what we're supposed to do.

So leave me at the roadside,
And hang me up and out to dry;
So leave me at the roadside,
And hang me up and out to dry.

And I don't think you see the places inside me that I find you;
And I don't know how we woke up one day and somehow thought we knew
Exactly what we're supposed to do.

So leave me at the roadside,
And hang me up and out to dry;
So leave me at the roadside,
And hang me up and out to dry.

'Cause I don't think you see the places inside me that I find you,
And I don't know how we woke up one day and somehow thought we knew
Exactly what we're supposed to do,
Exactly what to do.




Pray for me. This problem has haunted me too long. I'm not afraid anymore. I'm not going to run away. This has controlled my life for far too long, and now I'll see whether good or evil will come of it. I've loved you since the day I understood what love was, and now it's time to settle those feelings.

Something was bound to go right sometime today,
all these broken pieces fit together to make a
Perfect picture of us

It cold and dark and slowly rained,
It rained so hard the two of us were the only thing that we could
see for miles and miles,

And in the middle of the flood I felt my worth,
When you held onto me like I was your little lifraft
Please know, that you were mine as well

Drops of water hit the ground like God's own tears,
Spread out in the shape of salad bowls and raisins,
And buckets for bailing out the flood.

A Perfect Tourniquet
Anberlin

I'm not sure
If you can call this romance
You see we've changed since the start
Even together
We're distant lonely and apart
But we both look the other way
Pretend we still believe it
When they say

I guess that's why they call this love
Sadly unpredictable
And I guess that's why they call this love
Fate and fatal

My heart doesn't beat
As fast as it once did
I would sever these ties
But you're the perfect tourniquet
Tell me darling
Should we look the other way
When they say

And I guess that's why they call this love
Sadly unpredictable
And I guess that's why they call this love
Fate and fatal

Its getting hard to stay
But even harder to let go
And tell me now darling
Is this how we thought love was meant to go

Viva, viva communique
Donde, donde estas? Donde se fue?

And I guess that's why they call this love
Sadly unpredictable
And I guess that's why they call this love
Fate and fatal

Sing for Absolution
Muse

Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful

Tip toe to your room
A starlight in the gloom
I only dream of you
And you never knew

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
And falling from your grace
ooh

There's nowhere left to hide
In no one to confide
The truth burns deep inside
And will never die

Lips are turning blue
A kiss that can't renew
I only dream of you
My beautiful

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
Falling from your grace

Sing for absolution
I will be singing
Falling from your grace

yeah

Our wrongs remain unrectified
And our souls won't be exhumed

Naive Orleans
Anberlin

Come and go now as you please
Your actions write the melodies
To those songs that we sing
And you just sing

And I finally found that life goes on without you
And my world still turns when you're not around

Is this the way you want it?
Is this the way it has to be?
Sitting here beside you
When my heart's lost in New Orleans
Dreams come clever
Hearts now severed
Difference of forever
And I am lost there

And I finally found that life goes on without you
And my world still turns when you're not around
And I finally found that life goes on without you
And my world still turns when you're not around
And I finally found that all

Your actions write the melodies
To the songs that we sing
Your actions write the melodies
To the songs that we sing
And you just sing along out loud, yea

Come and go now as you please
Your actions write the melodies
To those songs that we sing
And you just sing

And I finally found that life goes on without you
And the world still turns when you're not around
And I finally found that life goes on without you
And the world still turns when you're not around
And I finally found that all

Your actions write the melodies
To the songs that we sing
Your actions write the melodies
To the songs that we sing
And you just sing along out loud

Autobahn
Anberlin

And we're driving just as fast as we can
And we're racing to outrun the wind
It's just me and you and you and me
So wild and so young, bright-eyed and free

And we're trying to get out of here
As a small town romance draws ever near
And I swear we're in the movie's
The highlight comes when you kiss me

And the stereo sings our song
And we don't hesitate to sing along

Drive to dream to live we could see the world tonight. hear the hope tommorow we could see the world.....

And we're miles from the middle of nowhere
And neither of us seems to care
And that's why I love you so-o-o
Shut your mouth girl no one has to know
And times seems to drip like Dali
And neither of us has a place to be
So once and forever tell me all, tell me all of your dreams

And the stereo sings our song
And we don't hesitate to sing along

Drive to dream to live we could see the world tonight. hear the hope tommorow we could see the world.....

Drive to dream to live we could see the world tonight. hear the hope tommorow we could see the world.....

And we're driving just as fast as we can
And we're racing to outrun the wind
And the stereo sings our song
We don't hesitate to sing along

Drive to dream to live we could see the world tonight. hear the hope tommorow we could see the world.....

Drive to dream to live we could see the world tonight. hear the hope tommorow we could see the world.....

Tell me what I'm supposed to do,
With all these left over feelings of you;
'Cause I don't know

And tell me how I'm supposed to feel,
When all these nightmares become real;
'Cause I don't know

And I don't think you see the places inside me that I find you,
And I don't know how we separate the lies here from the truth;
And I don't know how we woke up one day and somehow thought we knew
Exactly what we're supposed to do.

So leave me at the roadside,
And hang me up and out to dry;
So leave me at the roadside,
And hang me up and out to dry.

And I don't think you see the places inside me that I find you;
And I don't know how we woke up one day and somehow thought we knew
Exactly what we're supposed to do.

So leave me at the roadside,
And hang me up and out to dry;
So leave me at the roadside,
And hang me up and out to dry.

'Cause I don't think you see the places inside me that I find you,
And I don't know how we woke up one day and somehow thought we knew
Exactly what we're supposed to do,
Exactly what to do.

Some Trust
The Fray

So you fake you're full and you feel tomorrow
Coming and you gotta do what you can do to get
Away with everything you want and still get what you need.
So you're slowing down cause you've done it before,
You look at the floor and you wonder when it's gonna
Come on up over your head so you can get some rest.

Some trust in love and some trust in hatred
Some trust in fear and some in violence
Some trust in faith and some trust in fortune
Some trust in God and some just get away.

Swear to God I'm going to get it right
Stay down tied until I get my fill.
So I take it all but it's falling through
Done it before so maybe a little bit
More will make it easier to get on through the door.

Some trust in pain and some trust in pleasure
Some trust in union, some in innocence
Some trust in fear and some trust in fortune
Some trust everyone and some just get away.

Call it security,
Call it your purity.
Call it the words we pray,
Call it the sins we say
You never wanted it this way

Some trust in God and some trust in country
Some trust in love and some in violence
Some trust in diamonds, some trust in devils
Some trust in fear and some just get away

Get away (x3)

I told you that if my dreams ever died I couldn't be far behind them. Well, all my dreams HAVE died, and those that live are meaningless to me. Yet I can't make you or anyone cry, and here I am, making them cry in life. So why not die and let them cry just one last time?

So I finally get one of my dearest wishes. I'm a sponsered player. I'm going to go to Legacy tournaments all over California. I got the deck of my dreams to play with. And I really don't care anymore. It doesn't really matter.

*fin
Anberlin
Cities

Feels like you're miles from here,
in other towns with lesser names.
Where the unholy ghost doesn't tell
Mary or William exactly what they want to hear.
You remember the house on Ridge Road
told you and the Devil to both just leave me alone.
If this is salvation, I can show you the trembling.
You'll just have to trust me. I'm scared.

I am the patron saint of lost causes.
Aren't we all to you just near lost causes?
Aren't we all to you just lost

Tommy, you left behind
something that will mean everything right before you die.
What if you gained the whole world?
You've already lost four little souls from your life.
Widows and orphans aren't hard to find.
They're home missing daddy who's saving the abandoned tonight.
Wish your drinking would hurry and kill you.
Sympathy's better than having to tell you the truth.

That you are the patron saint of lost causes.
All you are to them is now a lost cause.
All you are to them is now, causes.

Billy, don't you understand?
Timothy stood as long as he could and now
you made his faith disappear.
More like a magician and less like a man of the cloth.
We're not questioning God.
Just those he chose to carry on His cross.
We're no better, you'll see.
Just all of us, the lost causes.

Aren't we all to you just lost causes?
Are we all to you lost?
Lost causes
So all we are to you,
Is all we are, is all we are
All we are is all we are

[Choir, repeated:]
Patron Saint, are we all lost like you?

Take what you will, what you will
And leave. Could you kill, could you kill me
If the world was on fire
and nothing was left but hope or desire
And take all that I could require, is this love?
Or am I on the floor over-desperate?
Hold hands streaming of blood again?
And then take full weight of me
Guard my dreams, figure this out,
It's me on my own. Helpless, hurting, hell.
Will you stay strong as you promised?
Cause I'm stranded and bare.
Meanness is washed up and all that I have
is God. Take this and all,
Then grace takes me to a place
Of the father you never had
Ripping and breaking and tearing apart
This is not heaven
This is my hell.

You are the moon
The Hush Sound

Shadows all around you as you surface from the dark
Emerging from the gentle grip of night's unfolding arms
Darkness, darkness everywhere, do you feel all alone?
The subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone

You don't see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear
It floods the sky and blurs the darkness like a chandelier
All the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas
The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe

I will bring a mirror, so silver, so exact
So precise and so pristine, a perfect pane of glass
I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky
You will see your beauty every moment that you rise

-----
I am the Moon

I remember a time so very long ago,
when someone told me that they admired
my humble grace and hidden dignity.
I remember her looking to the sky
and sighing, wishing all could see my light.

She spoke of love and dreams, confiding
not in other men, but with me far above.
She told me my light was pure, and I laughed
Having only seen skewed reflections from the waters.
You believed and loved a light
that everyone took for granted.

You set up a mirror, but to it I was blind.
I saw nothing but the darkness in which I live,
and light warped by so much imperfection.
Finally I learned to see it, I learned to believe
Not for myself; but, when you believed so strongly,
how could I inevitably resist.

But then the sun arose, blurring my light forever.
You left to honor it's blazing might,
When all I could do was echo it's light.
You called me friend, Now call me worthless,
Called me light, now weep when the sun's light leaves,
And you you are left to comfort in my pale light.

So I will shatter you're mirror, so perfect,
So exact. It is as perfectly flawed as you.
It shows me what I don't want to see,
For if I am perfect and good, why did you leave
My comforting light, my only friend.
And worship the sun that is for all to see?

So pardon me, my love, if one night
If one night you are alone, and see
in your little telescope; that I have
shattered to pieces, and fallen to earth
As the sun has replaced me as your night turned to day
And I am unneeded, so unneeded I die.

Heh. Oops.





Added Power and toughness xD