I feel like a stranger
in my "family." They don't accept me, and it's not because I'm some awkward teenager,
going through a phase. NO.
It's been this way since i can remember, from day one,
20 years ago. I AM AN ALIEN HERE.
I am .R.e.j.e.c.t.e
Because I am not theirs. Because I,
I am not -blood.-
But what -is- blood? And what about mine is so tainted?
What about my twenty years of life with them, makes me so different?
Why am I so alone?
for those who dont know me,
I'm not shy. But i do have limits, as does -any- sensible person.
My personal information is just that, MINE. If I choose to share it with you,
It's in confidence that it remains with you.
betray that trust, and honey, it's ON
FYI, I'm also not a bitch. But I can turn into one when pushed too hard.
I -will- come after you, and you -will- fall.
So, with all due respect, if it is my story, my idea, or my moment,
please, let it stay so
For No One
There was a time when i had only dreams and no reality, no sense of sanity. But if this is sanity, if feeling overwhelmed at the thought of being different or seperate or unique is sane, i'd rather stay bonkers, thank you.
I will not be restrained. I am not a product of the masses, and no, I will NOT contain myself. I do not favor and i do not judge, but I do speak my mind. I may not enjoy liars, but I love a good story, and anyone can be a hypocrite. There's something about tofu that pisses me off, and perfection can make me uneasy. I am from snowdays and summer nights, and I am not who you recall. I was used and abused, and I survived alone. I am skeptical and pessimistic but i do beleive in hope. I am not a failure yet. I am new, the product of courage, I was reborn from the ashes of my innocence. I have seen the darkness and been the light. I am my protector, mydiary, and my hope. Everyone else is my challenge. But I am also my enemy. I am proud and I have flaws, and I hate myself and my body but love those who admire it. I'm a fighter AND a lover, a walking list of irony, and I am made of this steel. I am weakest at the heart where i trust unjustly forgiven, and strongest in mind where i reason. I love without cause and I smile without meaning, but never glare without motivation. I am woman and I am child. I am innocence and corruption, locked in a box that was lost. I am indecisive and flakey, as subtle as a breeze but profound like thunder. But all in all I am still a storm. I am a role model and a warning sign, and i challenge you to judge me. Honesty scares me and i request it from all. I am useless and inventive, the missing link inthe fight against failure. I am driven but slightly unmotivated, I will be the solution, my own revolution, and I will answer to no one. I will be change. I am Ashlyn Ryan, and i live for no one