YAY!!

guess who?
http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/img/photo/21029_1131414615.jpg

Couple of new things to talk about, sorry I haven't been on lately, dear friends, but I've been pretty busy. Anyway, one thing I've been getting some weird looks about is my current mood, namely: "I demand the skin of a 5 year old!"

well, see, its a long story. I was watching tv, and there was this commercial for anti-aging skin-creme type stuff. The lady using it was like "Make your skin look up to 10 years younger!" getting angry at the commercial, as I often do, I went off on a rant which sounded something like: "Oh yeah, thats soooo what I need, I mean, look at me. Don't I look 15? Yeah...I'm so not aging gracefully enough. Now, skin that looks 10 years younger, thats what I need. I demand the skin of a 5 year old!"
 As I was in the process of saying that last sentence, my dad walked into the room and gave me the strangest look I have ever recieved.... ^_^;;;


but since then, it's developed into meaning exactly what it sounds like. ^-^ It also gave birth to a strange conversation about me being the Empress of Nevada, and feeding rabid monkeys to lions. Well, really, the sick villagers were fed to the rabid monkeys, who were then thrown to the lions...it's a long story too.


Any~way....my life has been pretty good socially lately, school-wise too, If I really consider everything, though it has kept me constantly on deadline for things. >< Me and Martin are great (martin = perfection, remember? at least, for me. I hate it when people say "I've got the best boyfriend in the world! Your's couldn't even compare!" It just seems presumptuous, don't you think? I mean, I completely understand that you wouldn't trade your boy for anyother in the world. I wouldn't trade mine for Gackt. It's just the particular wording that bothers me. Wow, I never ended those parenthesis, did I? Crap....this is all an aside, isn't it? Well, here.) There we go.
  Now, back to what I was saying. Martin and I, greatness, you get it. I've found myself the perfect freak for me. ::Mumble::He likes to be bitten...::mumble:: Which works out perfectly, of course. -^.^- Cause, don't you know? I'm a freak too...he hasn't hesitated to remind me of the fact. And every once in a while, he'll say just one little word that reminds me of an entire occurance, of then of course, I start to blush... He'll just look at me, smile and say something like, "Ear" or "Pop-rocks..." or, God Forbid, "camera.." then giggle or some such evil action. I haven't told you guys about Pop-rocks, have I? Would you like to know? Hmm...well, If you don't then just don't keep reading, cause I'm gonna write it in anyway.
   We were sitting in the library during study hall, munching on various foodstuffs, when m'friend Charisa pulls out what else but a bag of Pop-rocks. I ate some, got an idea, which Martin immediately, and creepily, picked up on, without me saying anything...I said, "You know what I bet would be weird?" and he just looked at me and started giggling. A few moments later, I kissed him....with a mouthful of pop-rocks...he cracked up and said, "I knew thats what you were gonna do!"
   Let's see, what else is there for me to mention? I had a rather interesting dream in which I got to kick a person in the head and then beat them with a gun, I finally got some more pocky through Charisa, who, by the way, is also now my source for some really nice Yaoi...^_^;; Hmmm...went and saw Corpse Bride, it was ok, Tim Burton's technique has definitely improved, even the little clay boobs were all jiggly. ^_^ Saw that with martin, jenn, and ari--the latter decided to tell Martin about hobbitses-ness and the homecoming incident. Oh! and I got Martin addicted to DDR now too..even after I was too tired to stand, he was still trying to beat xenon; he improved so quickly, it was scary! Wow, I bet this diary entry is really long now, I guess I'll stop writing...^_^;; sorry~!

....

argh!!!

::falls down, beating the floor with fists::

damn the whole stupid population! You just have to exist at the most inoppurtune moments, don't you? If you could have the courtesy, nay, the decency to just STOP existing for a few precious moments, we wouldn't have these problems, now would we?!?! ARGH!

I realized that I said "actually" quite a lot in that last entry...I guess I was writing it in a rather disbelieving state of mind. Who would guess that any guy could be so very perfect?

If this would make you mad, then don't read it.
Idjit.

Weird feelings...argh!! Not fair. ::whimper:: I mean..well...I don't know how to put this into words without making it sound really bad...darn it!!! ::sigh::

I have newly realized two things:

1. My sun-burned face + Martin's mustache = NOT GOOD AT ALL

2. I'm an inch or so taller then him. o.O

.....

I'm going out with him...

::blush::
^___________________^

NoTE:: I just realized I don't have his phone number..TT-TT im an idiot..

nother NOTE:: I'm actually willing to stop obsessing over Gackt for him, I mean, of course, I LOVE Gackt, but I'm not going to talk about him or the yaoi~ness type things he's done or pics I've seen around Martin. Wow, never had that before either..

glee~~~~!!
Dear friends, I am smitten! ^.^
..he's so amazing..and its not even a physical attraction, I mean, I do believe, and I will admit, that a lot of my previous pursuits have been due to a physical attraction...and he's not ugly, but I mean, that's not why I liked him in the first place, you know? In every other crush I've had, in the course of EVER liking someone, I've always asked myself,
"Is it simply because he likes me?"
"Is it just because he's pretty?"
"Is it just because I've gotten comfortable being with whom I'm with?"
I've questioned every attraction I have ever had, again and again... Except this one. Even just typing this, my heart flutters, and yeah, I'm gonna type that no matter how cliched it is. So shut up with your deragatory thoughts...I know you're having them! =_= Anyway, I have honestly never felt this way before...I've never liked anyone this way before, and it throws off everything I thought was love...not that I'm saying this is love, but it definitely proves that what I thought was love was most definitely not. He's funny, he so original, and he's...ah, I don't know!! But I find myself always wanting to see him, I can't even describe this adequately without simply repeating myself... This is indeed something different..
oh, and about that guy that had a crush on me, that guy in my new school? Forget that. ^_^ He's a great friend, but he simply latches onto whatever new girl there is, just as Sara and Emily thought. ^_^;;However, like I said, a good friend. But this guy...goodness..

ok!

GACKT RANT TIME!

I feel weird..like I'm missing something. I feel like there's something I want, but I can't figure out what it is...hmm..strange~day I guess..Must be why I feel so odd...whatever. On yet another note, guess what!! I found a friend who is as shonen-ai obsessed as I have become. Life is good. -^.^- (Well, another friend. can't count out Ari, specially since she's like the Otaku-Sensei...lets just say I'm excited to have met someone who actually likes yaoi in my new school.)Hmm...I can't think of anything too important to write down right now..oh! My dear friend Joey called me! It made me so happy, I didn't realize how much I missed him, I guess. ^_^;; Oh, just a little note for all my friends back in my old school, I'm gonna try and go to you guys'es Homecoming, so I hope I'll see you there. ^_^ I just need to make sure I've got someone to invite me. ^_^;;;

Woo-hoo! Fun Dream! In this one, for some reason, I had a katana...and *someone* (jeez, some people, eh?) was standing in front of me saying certain things, and just generally mocking me...and asking me stupid questions. Things happened in this order:
1. I blinked
2. Smiled
3. Laughed...
4. Decapitated him...

and I woke up smiling. ^____^

I think I know~I don't think I know~I don't think I think.....
          --Radical Edward
nope, not me, per se, you know what I mean. But anyway, thats a pretty good description of just how I've felt lately...more weird dreams, these however have involved people and the such that actually exist..these also confuse me greatly...more weird feelings, thoughts....::frustrated sounds:: (i couldn't really figure out how to spelll any specific frustrated sound...)

ok, i guess all of these diary entries are just me making up for lost time on here...
I have realized three things while watching the Live video I downloaded of Gackt performing "Vanilla" on stage:

1. I can actually do the little dance he does...yes, I know, sad...but immensely fun.

2. I adore his legs... o.o
scratch that. I just watched another video. Mirror. Make that his legs and his torso. scratch that too. Gackt is perfection.I mean, seriously, look:(even tho you can't see his legs..you can see other equally important..parts)

::wanders off in a daze, little gackt bodies dancing around her head::

3. I love Vanilla. Despite the super perverted lyrics. I loves it and nothing and no one could dissuade me! Such energy! Such passion! Such....pervertedness! ok, so thats a big part of the song...((and the performance ::winkwink::)) but anyway, its one of my favorites, just so fun. ^_^

Its hard to tell the difference between what I'm feeling and what's actually happening...

For those I have not yet told..I got my eyebrow peirced.. In fact, it was my uncle and his girlfriend Katya that took me to go get it done. We ended up having to go to 4 different places..It was supposed to be a surprise for me, I had mentioned it earlier in the week, and we were coming home from the beach house we had been staying in (I came back in the car my uncle was driving, obviously) and he pulled into this parkinglot and was like "Little Tip" tho he said it in German..so iwas lost at first...(he had been talking to Katya, shes german, tho yes, she does speak English, she's cool. ^_^) anyway, he goes "Little tip, you're my daughter." we got out of the car and they're both like "Surprise! oh..crap." The place was closed. The next place wouldn't do it cause I'm a minor, the next place's peircer wasn't in, then we went to Tidewater in Elkton finally and I got it done. ^_^ I loves it. I can constantly see it..sparkly.. It didn't really hurt, less then a shot, though it hurts now, when I have to turn it, and being angry hurts..^_^;;

The next dream was scary; not frightening, but twisted...I can't really explain the dream itself really well, but there was this man...and I wasn't myself. What I mean when I say that is that, I wasn't me. I was someone else, a small child, though the dream progressed until this person was almost an adult. This man..he was the twisted one..He made the child kill a rat with his own hand, but the kid was willing to do it if it meant staying with the man, if it meant that the man would allow him to live in his house and learn from him and stay by this man's side...The man must have been evil, I have no doubt of that in my mind..well, almost no doubt..because of the other horrible things that man did, though like I said, the whole dream is just a blur of events...At one point, the small child, a bit older then when the dream started, was going to be drowned by this group of men...There was a little girl there too, and I think, though once again I'm not quite sure, that that was where she died, for she didn't appear again, and like the boy, she had always been at the man's side. But just before the boy was drowned and gone, the man showed up and killed all of the others, all of the ones that were trying to do the killing....it was a very, very strange dream, and I had it a while ago, about a month ago, i think. I'm sure it makes me sound strange or something, but I can't determine what dreams I have, now can I? ^_^

That man...I want to draw him. But I don't think it'll turn out quite right..

more weird dream-ness....two of them in fact..
(I want to copy them down, lest I forget them)
   In the first one, I was in the yard of the house my grandparents lived in before my grandfather died..I was standing next to the rose bushes..and there were other people ther, but they were the sort of people that are always in dreams; the shadowy, faceless masses. Anyway, there were shouts, and I looked up from the rose I was staring at and there was this enormous fox, perfectly groomed, clean as anything; its fur wasn't ragged like a normal fox's fur would be, the fur was the same length all around its body, giving it a rather round appearance, and like i said, it was enormous, a little bigger then a great dane, really..The people around me were freaking out, pointing, and it looked up and saw me and started walking toward us. It jumped both fences (my grandparents yard was placed so that if you wanted to enter the yard from the road beside their house, you had to go up a pathway, over one fence, and then get over the fence in their yard) anyway, it jumped both fences, and weaved its way through the people, who had frozen in their spots, I don't think they moved for the rest of the dream...It stopped beside meand just kind of stared at me for a while, it was the brightest red orange I have ever seen, honestly..it was a sort of melon-ly red orange too..and its eyes were rimmed with black..it was so pretty i just sort of stared back for a while. Then it moved, and i got out of its way, and went over to the rose bush, nosing around in the soil underneath. It stopped, and pointed a paw at the ground, whining a little bit. I went to dig with my hands where it pointed, but I stopped, not quite sure that I should dig with my hands. I saw a pen sitting nearby and dug with it. After a little while I pulled out this big flat stone, and I thought that that was what it had wanted, but it motioned for me to keep digging, so I did. After a little while longer, I unearthed berries. Honest to god, a handful of various berries...I offered them to the fox, and it just sort of stared at me with those black rimmed eyes..it's irises were gold..it stared for a while, then bent its head down and ate them. But it didn't seem satisfied, in fact I think it actually said something at this point it the dream, and I said something back, but I can't remember what it was..I wish I could..anyway, i went and got an icetray, and (apparently the gathering we were having was some kind of barbeque..) filled three (it was only two rows of three, another strange thing) of one side with pale ground hamburger, which I then doused with water, (again, I have no idea why) but that didn't seem enough, so I grabbed some of the bright red strips of beef from the small fridge (which was, btw, outside as well) and filled the other side with them, folding them up, speaking to the fox the entire time. I returned to where the fox was, and watched him eat it all..i dont remember, he may or may not have thanked me, and then i woke up.
     The second dream was very strange indeed, and I don't think I was even in it..I shall post it in another diary entry, this one is pretty long..nah, Ill just add it here later..its getting fuzzier and fuzzier..

I keep having the same dream over and over again, I haven't really told anyone about it before now, either...The thing is, i never remember having had the dream before then until I'm having it again, and I can never remember it fully...its got some kinda meaning, I know it must, or I wouldn't be having it so often..i can only remember bits of it..tests, not written or anything, but sort of tasks...one of which was rather scary...something about foxes..rather, one fox...it was white...