Everythings been really crazy lately I havn't been able to keep track of time or even be able to tell what day it is.


So when was the last time I wrote in this thing, oh yes before I went to the 'Family gathering' - thingy. Well that was kool I found out that Frank (The Canadian guy who arranges these things) is a millionaire o,O and rich people are supposed to be assholes but he's kool I remember last year he was buying me drinks but I didn't talk to him as much this year. The band there was pretty kool too they started talking about me saying I bet he's a good drummer so I just sat there nodding like "yep!" heh

Heheh Terry was funny last week he was getting really pissed off at this film he was watching I think it was called 'The Lottery' it had a really wierd plot and a crap ending but he still watched it all lol I was just laughing at him. He finally got his Blade sword and now he wants me to get up early for his Batman sword... nah, I don't think so

I think it was last Friday or Saturday that I was up talking to Jen until about 4:30, yeah we talked alot and I've been witnessing a lot of sunrises lately they look so kool.


I came from my Dads house at 5:10am today because I couldn't sleep but now I am so damn tired I could sleep any place at anytime but then I guess I'll be up all night again so I'm looking forward to sleeping tonight. Erk I feel kinda sick too now I havn't been eating properly either


Well I'm gonna hang out with Rob later I'll probably be drawing the rest of the day because I've been taking my art alot more seriously lately. That's the main reason I havn't been talking to people much lately and I kinda feel bad about it


...Well thats all from me today.

Loads of stuff has happened lately but I can't remember any of it to write damnit.

Well my exams are over now woohoo. My last one was on Tuesday and that was a Maths exam which, of course sucked.

Tiff was telling me about a dream Magen had the other day about me dancing and Magen said to me "What are you doing" then I replied "I'm dancing!" which I thought was really funny because it sounds exactly like something I'd do. Well Tiff and Magen are supposed to be moving at the end of the month so that's really gonna suck. I won't be able to talk to them as much :(

My Sister went to Lanzorotti this morning for a week and my Aunty Nina along with my Uncle Rob also left today but there going to Japan for two weeks.. grrr I deserve to be so pissed off at them for not taking me

Well I have to go to a party in a few minutes like a family get together thing and my family from Canada are gonna be there so I'm going to ask them to take me with them when they go back >.<

Yesterday was cool.... oh wait, no it wasn't but something cool happened Venus passed the Sun! it looked like a little dot and the next time that will happen is over 200 years interesting ay?

I went back to take that Anime I got 'Noir' only after I watched it though >_< I seen the Ninja scroll 10th annicersary special edition boxset thingy so I just had to get that but Jen said I had to get Princess Mononoke if I seen it there so I ended up buying them both.

I just got finished watching Princess Mononoke with Jordan and all I gotta say is "WOW" it was awesome so now I've labeled it as one of my fave Anime's. It was made by Studio Chibli the same as Spirited Away. (Another cool Anime) I'll probably watch Ninja scroll tonight.

Well now I'm broke! I hate not having money with me it makes me feel so damn uncomfortable but it's not my fault, I was under the influence! The DVD's were there bouncing up and down on the shelves screaming "TAKE ME NOW BIG BOY" lol. I hate spending money everyone thinks I'm like this with my money *clenches fist* I think that means tight or something o.o I usually lend people money when they ask cos I never expect to be spending it and I know I'm gonna get it back. I still have loads of money in the bank but I'm never gonna take money out the bank

I told Jen that my fave Street Fighter character was Ken and so she did a Ken pic for me it's so cool *glee*

Shit, whats up with my leg It's all wierd like some sort of pain but doesn't hurt... Bah I can't even describe it anyways it sucks

I hope Terry is at my Dads when I go there later I really feel like getting into a fight with him tonight muhahaha...

Woot it's raining now I love the rain I think it might be my favourite type of weather but snow is cool too!

A Police Helicopter just went past and Jordan asked what it was so I told him it was a bomb rofl My mum was like "I'm sick of you trying to scare him all the time" so then I said it was only Super man going off to fight the 'bad guys'

Omg I feel so crappy I didn't sleep at all last night again. I came home at about 5:30am or something and was speaking to Jen until 12pm XD Jen is so cool she's really helped me out with my drawings!

I had a Maths exam in the afternoon which I don't think went to well but atleast it's over with. Lol I drawn all over my exam paper cos I got bored after I finished.

After the exam I went around to Robs and was sick loads lol but afterwards I was really happy for some odd reason. I walked into Robs room and said "I was just sick everywhere! Come and have a look" lol then I put my hand in it and was gonna wipe it over him but when he tried cleaning it up he stood in it ROFL

Bah I'm so friggin tired now I hope I feel better when I wake up ....If I wake up O.O haha some huge moth last night was going crazy attacking me bumping into eveything including my eye >.o

I wanna start taking requests and art trades but I have no scanner anymore damnit ::sobs:: I'm supposed to be making an art trade with Jen soon I can't wait

Went to MVC to get the new Slipknot album the other day but ended up coming out with a new anime dvd and Edward Scissor hands lol when I got home I noticed the the Anime I got was the last three episodes of some series called Noir and I thought it was a movie so I'm going to try and take that back.

My lips are chapped or something so yesterday I kept sneezing and my lip split every time so I had loads of cuts in my lip and must have bled loads

Lol last night was so damn funny I was scaring the shit out of my little brother Jordan cos I always make up stories to scare him and I went on and on about it all night to him >< I made a little base for him cuz bases are so kool!!! I put a cover over his little bouncy castle and when I started lying down inside of it (I was really tired) he was on his bed and he dived through the roof onto me lol he always ends up head butting me or kicking me in the face but I usually just start laughing for some odd reason o.o well anyways it was funny.

Just thinking about if I should take Art next year or just try to get a full time job... well I definately want to get a job somewhere like Virgin, HMV or MVC would be kool I really wanna go work at a Cinema then I get to see the new movies for free and get paid for it but I think you have to be 18

The last few days I've been really hyper so I've been releasing that into the world, my Mum probably thinks I'm going crazy!

Friday was kool I went the Cinema with my Dad and Terry to watch 'The Day after Tomorrow' and there was some really funny guy working there who I was talking too and now I want to work in the Cinema. Some guy spilt a huge drink right next to me so I nearly got soaked lol what a dumbass

Saturday was gay I didn't sleep all night so I was on Robs PS2 till about 11 in the morning and thats probably why I didn't wake up until 6 in the afteroon on Monday lol at first I thought my clock was broken. I really need to start getting up early again and we have a week of school now so I'll probably be able to get up for it by next week. I was up again last night till about 6 just painting and drawing loads I might start doing some art trades cos my drawings are getting alot better. Heheh Magen and Tiff made a fan club for me so I was really freaked out.... kinda scared but I couldn't stop laughing

About time I wrote in my Diary again. Well then what's happened lately, oh yeah Terry rented some Videos and got some Pizza on Sunday so I watched Paycheck with Ben affleck it was pretty kool and the night after Kill Bill Volume 1 which had a really kool Anime part which lasted like 10 minutes and I had to babysit that night which sucked.

On Tuesday I got a new DVD a pretty old Horror movie called Leprechaun and it was the first time I seen it in about 10 years then I went to my cousin Marks house and had a game of pool and later on got a lift home. When I came on the net Tiff told me that she had lied about being 15 and was only 13... I wasn't pissed at her for saying that I just really didn't know what to say and could'nt describe how I felt.

The rest of the week I've just been acting lazy around the house

I finally did a poem it's my first EVER poem and a little short but the words just popped into my head last night when I was trying to sleep anyways here it is...

Locked away inside my head
Feels although my soul is dead,
Deep inside my thoughts are bound
Like my heart I've never found

I was up all night on a Friends watching spree from the very first episode what a kickass series that is! Anyways I woke up at like 3 and though oh shit I've missed school again then remembered it was sunday so carried on watching friends in bed >_<

I got loads of cuts on my fingers now from a carving knife because I was doing all my Lord of the Rings models and now I have skin torn from my hands from the super glue which hurt like hell. I might start painting them again soon

Well I have a giant cookie so that will make everything better XD Well accept I havn't spoken to Tiff all day and I miss her so much *sobs*

Well thats it for now, ciao

Hmm what's happened lately... oh yeah, last Thursday was funny I didn't leave Robs till 4 in the morning and he was sleeping so when I woke him up to tell I was leaving he crapped himself muha stupid fool and last night I was up till 5am Talking to Tiff ^_^ Great times. Magen pulled her tooth out when she was messing around on the webcam O.O I was like what the fuck!!!? and Rob was talking in his sleep again saying "I want you" and "oh yeah baby" lmao.


I've been thinking about dying my hair dark purple for ages now so I might get that done after Roxanne pierces my lip >_< I'm gonna spit a load of blood at her then she'll kick my ass but it'll be worth it lol after that I'll start saving for my tattoo, I want to get a tribal crow on my back

...Now my toe hurts *licks eyebrow* I think I may have an ingrowing toe nail or something <.<  >.>

I've just realised I've been pretty laid back the last few days.

Last night I couldn't sleep again I need sleeping pills or something the last time I checked the time it was like 5:15am I was watching 'Stuck on you' heheh funny film! It was like day time so I didn't think I would sleep at all so I closed my eyes and because I opened a window it was breezy and I could hear all types of birds outside so that was pretty relaxing.

...Oh yeah I had a kool dream I was with Jenny over at her house having a laugh :) What a great mate she is

Right this is getting really stupid I heard that Gemma and Lee split up because she wants to get back with me but I told her theres no way that's ever going to happen I hate her.

Stopped over at Robs again on Thursday he was getting really into a game and was near the end then I pulled out the plug and he got well pissed off at me but I was just laughing at him loads muhaha. Of course I couldn't sleep that night though I never can I was trying for about 2 hours and Rob was snoring loads then started making wierd noises and talking in his sleep LMAO I don't know if they were realy sentences but it was really funny.

Next day I went to school for about one and a half hours going through Exam papers then walked out and sat at my computer till about 4:30pm then I had to go and meet some friends because we were going into town to watch Van Helsing I think it was pretty awesome I mean check out Kate Beckinsale X_X Well like always I was nudging the people sitting next to me when something kool was happening in the film because it always annoys them and I punched Ste in the arm where he's just had his Tattoo by accident lol. I had a really good time

I don't have many plans for today. I guess I should be bitching about something but I'm in a pretty good mood, maybe it's because of the weather lately it's not so gloomy and depressing

Before I was messing around with Terry's weights and I went well far past the limit which I could handle and afterwards my arms felt like jelly

I havn't written much lately... well I guess that's because nothings really happened I've been as bored as ever.

On Saturday I had to go out to meet rob cos I was staying around at his and he bought a new metal gear solid game it was well funny.

The day after Kerry was being really nice to me and bought me a meal.

Oh yeah I finished the final two hours of my art exam yesterday. I didn't finish painting the background but I don't think anyone finished their final piece but the teacher said that was ok we might be getting some extra time because we missed about an hour. I hope I did good

NOW I'M PISSED OFF!!! my computer is being the biggest bitch ever my MSN Messanger, Pictures, Videos and music albums have all suddenly dissapeard from the computer and it is being so fucking slow even with broadband I've been going crazy all day about it

I dyed my hair black again yesterday!!! that was the most fun I had all day *sigh* I hate being this bored I need to get a job... I really do me and my friends have been planning to go to America next year on a huge road trip it's gonna be fun we're going to rent a hippy van, slap a big 'ol daisy sticker on it, fill it with smoke and play hippy music like Hanson or something fun fun fun!


Maybe I should have gone to Bowy's barbeque today? well it was for Lee's birthday so I'd probably end up getting into a fight in the end if he pissed me off anymore so I guess I'll stay home and just think to myself all night

...Chitty bang bang yeah!

What day is it today? Oh yeh Wednesday... I think *scratches head and looks up blankly* yeah anyways Monday was kool, it sure was there was no school so I went to Llandudno and I had to get up at 9am but I didn't sleep much that night. I think I got about 4 hours sleep and when I woke up it looked like I had two black eyes

(Best pic I could find which isn't too big) I went there with my Dad, two Brothers and my Sister and I usually hate the UK but after this trip I thought to myself it isn't too bad I used to always go places with my family because I love travelling so I guess that kinda opened me up a bit. There was a huge fair there and a parade!!! I love parades so much I wanna join them I was standing there Saluting heheh. We later met up with my Cousin Lee and his Dad Derek (My Dads twin) OH and I seen the original Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Car I was like whoa I wanted to mug the old guy and fly away in it. What a great movie! I don't like that guy with the huge nose who caches kids though he really freaks me out sometimes I think he's gonna come for me =o

Hmm I can't think of much to say about it now but I remember on the day I had such a great time. I finally got a ring well, I was at some shop for about an hour talking to the girl working there she was a really nice and I think she enjoyed my company ^^ we stopped at Colwyn Bay too for a bit they had a huge fair thier too which was pretty kool but I was soo tired and I felt sick afterwards. My little bro Jordan was being a pain in the ass as usual in the car throwing a football around and stuff like that.

When I got home I went on the internet for a bit but everyone was like Go to bed so I did!

The next day Kerry was supposed to be going to Greece for about 6 months but she had a panic attack and an Asthma attack or something so the airport ripped up her ticket so I guess she's not going anymore

Sooo tired! right after I finished writing my last entry Tiff came on so I was really like yay and I was talking to her until 4 then I walked around through ally's and stuff to go to my Dad's and I got a face full of web I was like what the fuck is it trying to catch me? Lol. When I got there I had a really annoying ringing in my head which wouldn't go away so I started bashing at my head which actually helped. It's hard to explain but even though I'm alot unhappier like how I am now I understand everything alot more. I was up until about 5 watching movies then I woke up at 4:30pm and now it is so damn hot.


Oh yeah I added Tiff's ex (Curtis) onto Msn and started having a go at him loads then it ended up being his Dad lol then when Curtis eventually came on I bitched at him and he said he's gonna get his Dad to shoot me because he's a cop and they know where I live which is on the other side of the Ocean ROFL what a dumbass I so badly want to go to Canada now to kick his ass. I've been talking to Tiffs little sister Magen too recently and she's really kool


Well I'm gonna go to Robs later cos we're gonna be up all night again having a laugh. I think I'm finally starting to get the hang of this Diary now

Once again I didn't get up for school today, well... not until about 11:30 then I went in really tired. Joseph had a fucking megaphone and put it right next to my head then yelled down it what a cunt.

My little Brother Jordan has been really stressing me out today and I don't know if I can handle it anymore plus my Sister (Kerry) has been being a real bitch too me because she's ill or something aww I'm really sorry to hear that BUT DON'T TAKE IT OUT ON ME YOU SLAG. Oh well no worries she's moving to Greece for a couple of months to be a holiday rep I bet she's gonna miss me heh. She leaves on my Dads Birthday which I think is next week... ooh which reminds me I have to buy him something I have no idea what so I'll just ask Terry.

My Mum has been cleaning the house today and moving everything around again. I swear my house completely changes every week, she must get really bored around here not that I'm surprised I know how she feels actually same at my dads house too because I've been sleeping downstairs at my dads house for awhile now... maybe a few years even though I have a bedroom at both houses. I guess it's because at my Mums house I'll be woken up by Jordan and at my Dads... well my room there is small and I'm a really bad insomniac most nights I stay up all night just thinking to myself yeah because I think to myself alot like if I'm with my friends I'll just stop and won't know what there talking about because I'll be in my own little world which happens all the time but I can only get a good sleep if I'm really tired and fall asleep by myself when I'm watching tv or something. From tonight... well it's 2:40am here now so I guess it's from this morning I'm gonna start sleeping in my room at my dads again that's why my Dad and Terry have cleaned up because they were taking my crap from my mums and putting into my room at my Dads like posters and stuff.

I heard from Laura that she phoned Lee and now he's not talking to Gemma but I've just been speaking to Rob and he said that Lee doesn't know anything about it so whatever. Oh and apparently Gem was crying in her school because Laura was having a go at her ROFLMFAO

Someone's just said to me that they think writing poems is alot better than self-mutilation so later on when I go to bed I'll watch some videos then try writing a poem. It will probably end up crap but if not then I might post it up on Elftown.

Heheh this has ended up being pretty big I guess it's becuase I'm really bored! I'm going to stay on until around 3:15 to see if Tiff come's on because I really want to talk to her but if not I'll go back around to my Dads house

Missed school again today I didn't wake up till 1:30 I would have got up earlier but I WAS ASLEEP! I stayed in bed staring at the exact spot for about an hour then finally got up to put some music on. When I came on the net someone was trying to cheer me up and said:

"There is still beauty in the world if you take into account that your dreams are part of the aura of the world, which makes it beautiful. Everyone has dreams they hold onto, like change in their pocket, and their hopes make this world beautiful"

Oh shit! that is so fucking stupid what a load of bullshit do you know what your actually talking about?

Damn everything is just too fucking shitty here's the song Bullets by Creed which I can really relate to

Walking around I hear the sounds of the earth seeking relief
I'm trying to find a reason to live
But the mindless clutter my path
Oh these thorns in my side
(Oh, these thorns in my side)
I know I have something free
I have something so alive
I think they shoot cause they want it
I feel forces all around me
Come on raise your head
Those who hide behind the shadows
Live with all that's dead
LOOK AT ME
At least look at me when you shoot a bullet through my head
Through my head
In my lifetime when I'm disgraced
Jealousy and lies
I laugh aloud cause my life
Has gotten inside someone else's mind
Look at me
At least look at me when you shoot a bullet through my head
Through my head
Hey all I want is what's real
Something I touch and can feel
I'll hold it close and never let it go
Said why, why do we live this life
With all this hate inside
I'll give it away cause I don't want it no more
Please help me find a place
Somewhere far away
Yes I'll go and you'll never see me again

Well I was in a good mood earlier which lasted for about 5 minutes before that wore off Laura told me that Gemma has been cheating on Lee with James it made me laugh so damn hard then about an hour later James came around my house asking to borrow Dracula 2001 it's really funny how the only time he ever knocks for me is when he want's something

Somethings happened to me lately but I don't know what the reason is because I've come to remember how fucked up my Life really is and has been and now I've started to completely changed who I usually am which is a really humorous guy which is just a cover so I don't hurt any of my friends or family which now that I think about it is a really scary thought because no one really knows me but I kinda stepped out of myself and seen how depressing my life is and how unhappy I really am with myself so now like I said before have changed myself to someone who really doesn't give a shit anymore about anything especially Life so I just want it to end so I won't be hurt or unhappy anymore. I really feel like killing myself or atleast hurting myself in ways which aren't new like awhile ago when I was really sad about my best friend dying and I really hated myself so I took a kitchen knife went into the garages that where behind my old house and I cut right down my forearm but I always told everyone that I fell off a fence and landed on glass but now I'm not bothered who knows so I apologize to all of you who think I've turned into a complete dick but I can't handle the boredom *sigh*


I started my 8 hour art exam on Monday and I have Art for two hours on Monday and three hours on Thursday so it's gonna be on for two weeks I guess. I'm doing a large poster for 'The Crow' which looks really kool as a pencil drawing but I'm not too sure how it will turn out when I Ink it


It's 10:35pm now and I'm eating a full English breakfast :p

Oh shit I made another entry in here awhile ago but it's not here anymore what the fuck happened to that? Anyways I was at home and I was supposed to be getting kicked out at 8 because my Mum was having an Anne summers party and I managed to stay on the computer but they had pink inflatable chairs with dildo's hanging out from there and they were gonna rip me apart so I took the Pizza and ran for it lol

Had a pretty kool time at my Nan's 70th except for the music they were playing great food though ^_^

When I was going to my dads house about a week ago I seen the Police and CIA next door so I was wondering what happened there for awhile but finally when I forgot about it I seen sirens flashing so I thought they were still there but when I went outside the car had exploded or something and there was a fire enguine about 5 minutes before that I heard my older brother Terry running out because he's a part time fireman so I don't know how he missed the damn fire O.o

Just old my Mum that I might dye my hair black and blonde underneath kinda like Chris Amott from Arch Enemy and she said something that pissed me off so I said something back like "Ok you fucking wacko" lol she looked really surprised but I had to say it I'm really stressed

I think it was last sunday that Me and Gemma got back together but didn't see her much because I was going the Cinema to see "Welcome to The Jungle" on Monday, she went to stay with her dad until Wednesday and on Friday I went to the Movies again, this time to see "Shaun of the Dead" which was so damn funny. I was having a great time until on the way home Rob got a txt saying that Gemma had split up with me because we hadn't seen much of each other for the last week so fair enough that's her choice but then She's flirting with Lee loads infront of me which made me so pissed off. Later on I get into a fight with two guys which is what I needed I guess


I was planning on crashing over at Robs on Saturday and Sunday so I was gonna go over to hos at 4 until Gem's friend Laura tells me that Gemma wants to meet me at the Bus stop after she finished work at 6 so I'm waiting at this bus stop for 45 minutes then she walks past and says she didn't want to talk to me about anything... *sigh* Had a huge laugh at robs though watching Friends and some crazy japanese show called Takeshi's castle. It was Light outside by the time we fell asleep but ever since Monday I have had the worse headaches ever so back to the good 'ol pills I go >_<


Now Gemma is telling me she still likes me and I think she wants to get back together once again but I knew it would'nt last the second time so I don't see the point. Also she's completed changed the way I think about her after she was flirting with Lee infront of my own face and so I used that as a reason why I didn't want to get back with her and then she denies it even though I WAS THERE! It's kinda my fault because if I hadn't finished with her in the beginning none of this would have happened


I feel so shitty but I guess I can hold on for a little longer...


Well here's the song "The Reason" by Hoobastank which is what I recognize as how I'm feeling now


I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know


I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you


I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

ERK I never cook because whenever I do something goes wrong like I break the cooker and I even melted a fish once so theres very little I can do so I decided I'd make noodles but got bored so I added an egg and chopped up crab stick (Like a pro :p) and forgot to put the powder stuff in so I just asked my mum if I could eat that seperately or would it kill me lol I tried it anyway and nearly choked so I gotta mix it in with the noodles. I would make such a great Chef =p

Yesterday was the longest day of my life it was so damn slow and I couldn't sleep because I couldn't stop thinking about Gem so at about 3:30 in the morning I went for a walk then stayed out for an hour. Now Lee is saying loads of crap behind my back but it's funny how he is such a pussy to my face.. I just can't wait to see him again