Okay, this is one of the top ten funniest things I've every read. :3

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of STD. It is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior, and is called Gonorrhea Lectim.
Many vitims contracted it in 2004 after having been screwed for the past for years.

Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include:
anti-social personality disorders,
delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones,
extreme cognitive dissonance,
inability to incorporate new information,
pronounced xenophobia and paranoia,
inability to accept responsibility for own actions,
cowardice masked by misplaced bravado,
uncontrolled facial smirking,
ignorance of geography and history,
tendecies toward evangelical theocracy,
categorial all-or-nothing behavior.

Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.

LAMO! XD

In Paint Shop Pro, if you set the line of a stroke on letters to the "whip" one and texture a red gradient for it, it looks like a blood spatter. ^-^

Okay, this was by far the strangest conversation I've ever had on the 'net, and I have to share it.

I got back from the doctors after having my blood drawn for like the billionth time this year when I decided to check up on some things on Elfpack. I was barely on for a few minutes when I got this message:

"you!"

I thought that maybe this was someone who I had talked to when I was active on EP, so I searched in my messages, but didn't find anything. So I replied:

"?"

her - "dmpys" (No idea what that means)

her - "you deleted my picture"

I thought about it for a second:

me - "On Elftown, yeah"

her - "HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW THAT"

I'm thinking, ookaaay:

me - "Pretty much figured it out from the first message."

her - "yeah sori bout that, Can u do that"

I'm wondering what she's talking about:

me - "Do what?"

her - "delete ppls pics, duh"

I'm thinking, be more specific, dearie:

me - "On Elftown. I'm not a guard here."

her - "ouch, ur a guard?? (shit) 0_0"

I'm thinking, I just said:

me - "On Elftown. Here I am a regular member."

her - "gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood Elftown sux and plus yu cant dirt on me coz UR not a guard here so there!
y did u delete my pic anyway"

I don't recall removing something from the name she has on EP:

me - "What is your name on Elftown?"

her - "NO FUCKING WAY AM I TELLING YOU!!!
Im not THAT much of a push over you know plus you cant do nothin"

Um, duh? That's exactly the point, I CAN'T do anything on EP, I have no jurisdiction there. So I told her that much, except nicer:

me - "If I don't know who you are, I can't tell you why I deleted it. It's not like I can to anything on this site, anyway."

her - "yeah but still I DREW THE FRIGGIN DRAWING *insert bazillion spaces* sori gettin a bit stressed"

I can recall enough to doubt that, so I checked my messages on ET and finally searched her birthday. All of this took about 3 minutes:

me - "Okay, *ETname*, deleted art violating copyright rules and a generated pixel doll banner."

(This is funny:)

her - "???????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg how did yu find out that???! ??????? strange but woteva, dont care???????????? ^-^ ?!#@!

I'm thinking, are you f***ing stupid? Search engine, dur!:

me - "Just searched your birthday on ET and compared photos... Took all of 3 minutes..."

her - "WTF I H Y S M S D H" ( I get the wtf part but I don't know what the rest is supposed to mean)

her - "FuhQ"

And that is where the conversation ended. I think I scared her. Pretty damn hilarious. >:3

To top it off, her EP mood is: (bloody hell has she been everywhere)
So I set mine to: (Amused. God, that was funny.)

ROFLMAO! XD