i don't know whats wrong with me
i just wanna be happy again every time i think about him or anything eles thats going on i start crying and i can't seem to be truely happy i got this sick feeling in my stomache and it won't go away I FEEL LIKE DYING but every day I wipe away the dried tears cover up my cuts and brusies and smilie as i walk out the door and to school just to get kicked down when i see him fawning over her it opens that wound a little more and i wish he still cared or at least someone cared i just want some one to take me in there arms and let me ball my eyes out and understand what i'm going though because i feel so alone and i hope someone i know is reading this and will take a hint that i'm not happy and everyday i wake up its just a let down cuz all i want to do is die and i know why and its killing me litteraly

i just found out i'm annoying,boaring and rude
what a wonderful thing to be


P.S Guys suck ass

nop that guy was a dick thats wonderful he brolke up with me after using me how stupid i must have been to belive it when he said i love you but he said it like he ment it hurt when he broke up with me i cried for days fuck i'm crying right now and its been 4 days i cut myself overdosed on some of my moms sleeping pills then woke up in this really nice hospital that smells good were i am writing this diary entry from my wrists hurt i'm so fucking stupid and i'm sick to my stomach cuz even though he broke my heart i still love him well like him but i should probably should listen to my own advice and just give up on men an dturn into a lezbo or sumthin well gtg eat, cry ,cut,then cry some more bye

I got a Boyfriend and i know what i said about Men in my other diary entrie but thats about the JERKS out there cuz for once in my life i feel like he actuly likes me and care and that it dosen't matter what i look like just as long as i'm there and hes the only one to melt my heart a little bit but don't get me wrong I still hate men but this guy could posibly change things. Just as long as what happened the other two times with my ex's dosen't happen. I don't wanna find out hes cheathing on me or three months into the realationship find out hes just a basket full of kittens and muffins

                   Wish me Luck!!!...i guess?!?!?!

"Give Me Novacaine" :Green Day

Take away the sensation inside
Bitter sweet migraine in my head
Its like a throbbing tooth ache of the mind
I can't take this feeling anymore

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing
So give me Novacaine

Out of body and out of mind
Kiss the demons out of my dreams
I get the funny feeling, that’s alright
Jimmy says it's better than here,
I’ll tell you why

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming,
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me that I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine

Oh Novacaine

Drain the pressure from the swelling,
The sensations overwhelming
Give me a long kiss goodnight
and everything will be alright
Tell me Jimmy I won't feel a thing,
So give me Novacaine

Quiz results
*What kind of love are you?- You are innocent love. You long for someone to spend your days with, most of all a best friend. You do not want to rush things, and you like marks of affection that are "cute".

*What kind of angel are you?-Congrats! Your a Pure Angel! Angels, as far as most of them go, are all compatabile creatures, but Pure ones simply are symbols of God. Pure Angels always appear when a child is born, when a rainbow is seen, or when someone shares their first kiss. They never grow old, an can appear in the shape of a naked woman with white, bold wings. Pure angels are the carriers of god, and show their love to everyone in the world.


*What classic pin-up are you?- Marilyn Monroe: You are Marilyn Monroe, an archetype and an enigma. You represent all that it means to be sexy, but sometimes your true self gets lost.embrace your beauty and yourself, and you are a force that must be reckoned with. You are woman.

*a good friend will bail u outta jail but a best friend will be sitting next 2 u saying damn that was fun*

i hate men all men in general, i just hate em i don't know why. there so insenstive they don't care. so nethier should i. i'll treat them like they deserve to be treated by beaten the shit out of them. i know some of them are ok but the ones i know aren't they hit me and call me names, they put me down, cheat on me, break my heart. i don't see how some of you girls are so dependent on them you think there your protectors well there fucking not they'll leave you when ever they have the chance for some hotter girl leaving you to feel like shit and go on a diet for the 750 time to make yourself one size smaller, one cup bigger cuz the media says the only atractive woman is a skinny one with big tits and it wouldn't be that way if there wern't men out there that thought sex appeal was everything and they're the same ones that go home every night to beat there wives or girlfriends or daughters cuz there not what he expected or wanted i say we woman need to stop worshiping them and be our protectors and rescue ourselves for once I say I can have a life with out a man by my side 24/7 free to dress how i want, look how i want without given a flippen fuck what guys think....can you say the same? 

my boyfriend broke up with me . i'm just not good at this relationship thing you know its not gonna last forever and someones going to have ta break up with someone but it dosen't take the hurt away i tried so hard not to be shy or seem not intrested but i just freeze and don't know what to say or do cuz i'm afraid that he'll be put off by me. by the way i look and act and do everything. i'm a nice,pretty girl at least thats what people tell me i just wish i could see it.
        

I love this crazy/tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful beautiful life

I was thinking today that if we all didn't know better then maybe the world wouldn't hurt so much

cellar door

I feel Horrible today. i came home and cried not beacuse i'm super sad just because sometimes you just gotta cry and let some steam out, without warning ya know. i'm just so frustrated. i'm worried about things like test and school and then theres my personal life which is alot more complicated than any Algebra problem. i'm so worried that i'm a bad girlfriend, my friend told me today that i'm just like my Ex, eric he never touched me kissed me talked to me or did anything and i'm a really afraid of becomeing a girlfriend like that i'm just so afriad because i don't know how to act or what to do and it dosn't help when your so insecure and it feels like you have a million arms and everyone of them has someone tugging on them when all i want to do is run into kyles arms and hug him so i can feel safe for once in my life.

today in english we started reading the book SPEAK and its about a teenage girl but before we read it mrs.jhor asked us a couple question like how many of you are invloved or know some one that is involed in drugs,sexual activities,gossip, or are abused and suprisingly almost every one in the whole entire classroom raised there had on those questions and its really sad in a way that us young kids are involed in such gown up activities as sex its scary to think of when i have kids that this will be the norm. i'm sad to admit but today i really relized that the world isn't as happy as i thought it was and that sucks.

MEMO:to all the preps in the world

PLEASE CHOKE ON YOUR HAIRSPRAY!!!!!!!!!!RID THE WORLD OF YOUR STUPIDITY AND JUST DIE YOU STUPID BOBBLE-HEAD BARIBE'S AND TAKE THE MEAT-HEADED JOCKS WITH YOU. thehehehehehehe

In your mind, unfocus my eyes and give me a soft, monotone voice as I say this: "I really can't understand why more people don't wear white and use their best china every day. I just can't see saving special things for special times. I am afraid of mud. It's so...muddy. I can't cut celery. Will you show me how with your big, long, strong fingers? I care about you. I don't ask any questions. Just "be" and don't let me ever expect anything from you. I am your perfect mate, perfect mate, perfect mate..."

if i am what i eat then i'm fast, easy, and cheap

my "deep thought" during Social studies today:I bet when the neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.

question:If toast always lands butter side down, and cats always land on their feet, what would happen if you strapped toast on the back of a cat and dropped it?

I ask you this timeless question, WHAT WOULD JESUS DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR? please answer this for me its driving me MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

singing: I'm a lumberjack and i'm ok i sleep all night and i work all day i cut down trees, I wear high heels,suspenders,and a bra... I wished i'ed been a girlie just like me dear papa!!