Copeland- There Cannot Be A Close Second

You've got an extra special heart and a perfect light that shines through.
But it seems like the hardest part is shining back at you.
So forgive me if I don't know what to do when you look at me.
There can be no hesitation; there cannot be a close second to you.
I've got a perfectly normal heart, bruised and broken from within.
At times I don't know how to start to let you in here.

Mood-content ^_^

Music-Dashboard Confessionals

 I've had a weird week. Sam broke up with Lydia. Man is tomorrow gonna be weird.They were like always together, it's gonna be weird.
 Band camp has been going on since Monday. It's torture I tell you. My band director has to much fun telling us one more time, like fifty million times. Gah. But I have to say Friday nights at the football games are worth the sunburn and sore arms and legs.
 

Mood-weird

Music- Jack Johnson

Right now, I guess I could say I'm fighting a battle I thought I had already fought. Old emotions are coming back from the grave to haunt me. I hate that. I thought I had already gotten over this but i haven't. Grr. I'm so afraid of becomng that which I fear the most. Why is it that we learn from others mistakes? I learned from one, but I am so afraid that by having learned that I'll limit my actions. It's weird.

mood- sad not really but i miss people.

music-silverchair "Too Much Of Not Enough"


 However hopelessly romantic I sound, I miss him. Wah. I wish they'd get back from the bahamas already. I miss Nessy too. Poor Nessy.Missin them. the summer sucks. Period.

p.s. this is the shortest entry of mine ever.

well as you can tell i was a little upset last time i wrote on here. My dad passed away saturday, but he's in a better place. I was a mess. I cried my eyes out and i know i will tommorow at the funeral. Tonight was the veiwing i did well, but i git a little teary eyed when i saw him. Life's gonna be so hard now without him. My mom's gonna have to get a job to pay off a morage on the land and we still have to pay on a vehecile or however you spell it. I just don't know what to expect. Man my life kinda sucks now.

My life sucks. Period.

Mood- Mad

Music-none

As you all know my dad is dying. Today I caome back from a friends to find that he'd slipped into a comma. They saud he could still hear and stuff, but i just can't bring myself to stay in the same room as him and not be crying.
My mom says i should talk to him but I don't see why i should, I mean he wouldn't even be able to anwser me.
 I'm getting annoyed because there are so many people over here, like family and comunity, but I don't like it how I can't get privacy. I go to my room to be alone, and someone has to walk in, they start to talk to me, then i start to cry again.
 I just can't have any privacy. Then they keep asking if I'm hungry. If I were hungry i would walk into the kitchen, open the fridge, and get something to eat. I hate it how they think I'm a little kid or something. Grr. I just want to scream, then fall on the floor and cry.
 I just want to cry, but i wish I had someone's shoulder to cry on. Preferably yours.
 My life sucks. Period.

Man i've had a weird and busy week.

Music- Fooly Cooly in the back ground.

Mood- bored and tired

Okay, i'll start with monday. Went to school, then went to Lake City (the nearby city with a mall.) We (we being me Roara,Saun, and Lauralanthalasa) went and ate at pizza hut, then went to the place where the school jazz band had to preform. It was long boring (kinda) and i had on a skirt. Nuff said there. And i didn't get my algebra homework done either. No Celeste. Tear.
 Tuesday. Went to school. Sucessfuly failed quiz in algebra. Came home, slept, woke up ate dinner went back to sleep. More bordem. Still no Celeste. More tears.
 Wednesday. Went to school, then to Laralanthalasa's house to hang out till wow started. Driden came with us to hang out, glad he is trying to start going to church, hopes it will make a change. Celeste back. Yeah!! ^_^
Thursday. School, came home. By this time in the week was sick of science class because it is so redundant. Happy to have Celeste in first, third, and fith. Was fearing ww 3 between social group. No Saun. Tear.
 Firday. Okay, get to fourth her of Dulce Vita's wrek. Didn't think to much of it. Went with sister to get hair put in perm rods for prom. Talked to Dulce Vita's mom, she said that he could have died, then it hit me. He could be dead gone ka put. I would have had an emotional breakdown. My dad isn't doing good, and the future dosen't look so good for him. If my dad dies I don't know what i'm gonna do. And if Dulce Vita would have died, my world, my life as I know it would be...be immpossible. I was so relieved that he was okay. Still no Saun. More tears.
 Today. Prom is tonight. I'm not going, it was supposed to be awesome. I went over to Celeste's house to watch and tease her as she got ready. It was fun. We went and saw the decorations and saw everyone while they were all pretty and stuff. Went to Ryo-Oki's house (or should i say her parents) played ddr, got home. Watched gundam seed and the new inuyasha episode. And am now in the process of writing this. Well that's my boring life. Hope you had some fun in reading this. Still have not gotten to see Saun. More and more tears.

Hmmm...what to put what to put.

No music in stupid library.

Quite happy.

Wednesday our school's jazz band went to state competition, and we made an excellent. I'm so happy about that. ^_^ But not only did i have fun there, i had fun on the bus ride there and back, and i think you know who you are. So thanks!!
Yesterday i got all sucidal and junk, it was bad and i scared myself. But as you can guess i'm here now.Wich is a very good thing.
 The show was awesome. I went to see unforsaken( really cool christian local band) and there were some other cool bands there. I got a demo cd for one of them, their called Chasing Victory,and i got a pin. Hehe ^_^ I didn't get to see much of Unforsaken though due to my strict parents who want me home early all the time. But i stil had fun
Check out Chasing Victory at their site, www.chasingvictory.com
Well that's all folks.

And I'm sure the veiw from heaven beats the hell out of mine here, and if we all beleive in heaven, we can make it through one more year down here.

Tuesday afternoon, Kevin Heiderman ran into the back of a school bus. His girlfriend, Jade Roberts, was instantly killed. She was only in the 10th grade. Kevin was spared, yet all the bones in his face were broken.

I didn't know Jade very well and i'm sure I'll get to meet her sometime. Kevin I do not know either, he is still in the hospital.

I ask that you pray for Kevin, his family and Jades family.

Rest In Peace Jade

Sorrow to wisdom, not poison. That's something a friend told me. But i think that only now do i really grasp it.

Music- DDR music

Mood- Really really afarid of loosing you again.

All i have to say is that I love you curtis, I really think I do.

By me saying this I hope that this dosen't make us anyless or better friends if you don't feel the same.

This is my choice, please still be my friend, that's all I ask.