[cvg54]'s diary
On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)
On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)
On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)
On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm...somethin
On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)
On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)
On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
Alicia, you're an Evil Low!
Nope, not a drop of evil in you. In fact, you're ridiculously good. Reach around the wings and pat yourself on the back. Instead of tripping old ladies, you help them cross the street. You think about others' feelings constantly, and you use your sexual power for good, not evil. Sheesh — we're guessing that every person you've ever met has taken advantage of you in some way. Naw, just kidding! When you get right down to it, it's people like you who make the world a better place. You're just the sort of person we want taking care of our children. In the figurative high school yearbook of life, all your friends sign, "Stay sweet, have a great summer!" Keep reading for more details on your not-so-evil nature.
In the bedroom, you don't have an evil bone in your body — well maybe one, but ... aw, never mind. The moral lessons you learned as a child really stuck — we have a sneaking suspicion you're still haunted by the ghost of your parents' first sex lecture ("Heavy petting won't make you popular"). In bed, you're as generous as they come — you always put your partner's needs ahead of yours. And your bedroom is a sacred temple. Overall, you're an enlightened sexual wonder. Just remember, it's okay to go nuts on your birthday.
Don't feel too bad about hiding your anger. At least, not right now. When your spleen ruptures from internalized stress, then you can feel bad about it. Passive people act that way because they're ultimately sweet and don't want to upset anyone. While that may work for the short term, you end up looking like a real back-stabber when you, ah, stab someone in the back. Try to deal with your problems up front, and you probably won't have to renew your concealed weapons permit this year.
You've got a golden heart, not a black one. Your respect for other people, nature, and the whole darn planet makes you a shining example of what we all could be if we just cared a little more. You're like a walking, talking Disney movie. But remember, sometimes it's healthy to punch a pillow, crush a bug, or turn down a request to drive a friend to the airport. Not only is a little black-heartedn
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15 THINGS YOU NEVER KNEW OR THOUGHT ABOUT
1) AT LEAST 5 PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD LOVE YOU SO MUCH THEY WOULD DIE FOR YOU.
2)AT LEAST 15 PEOPLE LOVE YOU IN SOME WAY.
3)THE ONLY REASON ANYONE WOULD EVER HATE YOU IS BECAUSE THEY WANT TO BE JUST LIKE YOU.
4)A SMILE FROM YOU CAN BRING HAPPINESS TO ANYONE, EVEN IF THEY DON'T LIKE YOU.
5)EVERY NIGHT, SOMEONE THINKS ABOUT YOU BEFORE THEY GO TO SLEEP.
6)YOU MEAN THE WORLD TO SOMEONE
7)IF NOT FOR YOU, SOMEONE MAY NOT BE LIVING
8)YOU ARE SPECIAL AND UNIQUE
9)SOMEONE THAT YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW EXISTS LOVES YOU
10)WHEN YOU MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE EVER, SOMETHING GOOD COMES FROM IT.
11)WHEN YOU THINK THE WORLD HAS TURNED ITS BACK ON YOU, TAKE A LOOK: YOU MOST LIKELY TURNED YOUR BACK ON THE WORLD.
12)WHEN YOU THINK YOU HAVE NO CHANCE OF GETTING WHAT YOU WANT, YOU PROBABLY WON'T GET IT, BUT IF YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, PROBABLY, SOONER OR LATER, YOU WILL GET IT.
13) ALWAYS REMEMBER THE COMPLIMENTS YOU RECEIVED. FORGET ABOUT THE RUDE REMARKS.
14)ALWAYS TELL SOMEONE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THEM; YOU WILL FEEL MUCH BETTER WHEN THEY KNOW.
15)IF YOU HAVE A GREAT FRIEND, TAKE THE TIME TO LET THEM KNOW THAT THEY ARE GREAT.
THE REASONS WHY GUYS LIKE GIRLS
1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. the ease in which they fit into our arms
5. the way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end makes it all worth while
8. because they are always warm even when its minus 30 out side
9. the way they look good no matter what they wear
10. the way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
11. How cute they are when they argue
12. the way her hand always finds yours
13. the way they smile
14. the way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight
15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later you will be arguing about something
16. the way they kiss when you do something nice for them
17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you'
18. Actually ... ! ! just the way they kiss you...
19. the way they fall into your arms when they cry
20. then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly
21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt . (even though we don't admit it)!
23. the way they say "I miss you"
24. the way you miss them
25. the way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore.....Ye
Elvis Presley- Can't Help Falling in Love
Wise men say
only fools rush in
but I can't help
falling in love with you.
Shall I stay
would it be a sin
if I can't help
falling in love with you.
Like a river flows
surely to the sea
darling so it goes
somethings are meant to be.
Take my hand
take my whole life too
for I can't help falling in love with you.
For I can't help falling in love with you.
1. NAME: Alice
2. AGE: 15
3. DATE OF BIRTH: 4/10/90
4. SIBLINGS: James, Fabby, Peter
5. SCHOOL: Locke!
7. GPA: Something high, I guess! ^-^
8. WHAT ARE YOU LABELED:?
9. CITY YOU LIVE IN: Los Angeles...
10. PETS:@ dogs: Sasha and Sasho, Lotsa fish, 2 birds
11. HAIR COLOR: brownish blackish
12. EYE COLOR:black? dark brown?
13. HEIGHT: shortish tall
14. FINGERNAIL COLOR: depends
______________
FAVORITES
15. COLOR: green and black!
16. MOVIE: Plenty! :D
17. FOOD: PIZZA!
18. RESTRAUNT: Domino's Pizza?
19. STORE: Robinsons May
20. MALL: I've only been to one...
21. ANIMAL: Panda!
22. ACTOR: none
23. ACTRESS: none
24. PARENT: Neither; they're both weird
25. BAND/SINGER:to
26. RADIO STATION: 105.1 KMZRT
27. TV SHOW: Spongebob Squarepants
28. DAY OF THE WEEK: Wednesday
29. SONG: Too many!
30. NAME BRAND SHOE: Don't got one
31. TOOTHPASTE: Colgate
32. QUOTE: "If you say so"
33. LETTER: K! 'Kause K is kool!
34. NUMBER: 4
35. CUSS WORD: fuck
36. COOKIE: Dunno
37. SODA: Pass
38. CHANNEL: The Cartoon Network and the Discovery Channel
39. SHAMPOO: Trese`mme
40. CANDY BAR : Does this include chocolate?
41. BRAND OF ICE CREAM: Sherbert
42. FUNNIEST MEMORY: This might take a while...
43. LAST WORD YOU HEARD: Esperate
44. LAST THING YOU SAID: Fine
45. LAST THING YOU ATE: Granola Bar
46. LAST THING YOU DRANK: Pineapple juice
47. LAST SONG YOU HEARD: In my head or on the radio?
48. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO: In reality or on the 'net?
49. LAST SHOW YOU SAW: Some soap opera
50. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW: Exorcist the beginning
51. BEST FRIEND(s): Don't got one
52. FRIENDS: ^
53. WHO IS THE SMARTEST: Me!
54. FUNNIEST: ?
55. TALLEST: Dunno
56. SHORTEST: Me!
57. CRAZIEST: Depends
58. LOUDEST: Depends
59. QUIETEST: Depends
60. SHYEST: Depends
61. CUTEST: ?????????
62. SWEETEST: Depends
63. BEST AT KEEPING SECRETS: None
64. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE FRIENDS WITH THAT YOU ARENT FRIENDS WITH: No one
65. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET TO KNOW BETTER AND BE FRIENDS WITH: Who cares?
______________
HAVE YOU EVER...:
66. BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE: Yuppers
67. EATIN A WORM: No!
68. BEEN TO THE OCEAN: Yuppers
69. HIT A STRANGER FOR NO REASON: No!
70. SCREAMED IN PUBLIC: Yuppers!
71. FLICKED OFF A STRANGER FOR NO REASON: Yuppers!
72. USED A PILLOW CASE AS A BLANKET BECAUSE YOU WERE TO LAZY TO GET A BLANKET: No
73. CUSSED OUT YOUR PARENTS: In my head, yuppers
74. GOTTEN A MAJOR SURGERY: Yuppers! (Appendix)
75. BEEN ARRESTED: No
76. SKIPPED SCHOOL: Definitely
77. GOTTEN HIGH: Don't think so.
78. BEEN OUT OF THE COUNTRY: Yuppers
79. BEEN TOILET PAPERING: No
80. BEEN IN A CAR CRASH: Let's hope never
______________
WHICH ONE:
81. HARD LIQUOR/BEER: How about none?
82. CHICKEN/TURKEY
83. WHITE CHOCOLATE/REGU
84. 7-UP/SPRITE: Neither
85. CAKE/ICE CREAM: Cake, with milk.
86. NECKLACE/CHOKE
87. FIRE/WATER: Water
88. LIGHTER/MATCH: Lighter
89. ELEVATOR/ESCAL
90. TAPE/CD: Both
91. FAST DEATH/SLOW DEATH: Neither
92. CHAINS/BALLS: Chains
______________
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU HEAR THIS:
93. SPIKES: Owch!
94. SAFETY PINS:Bigger owch!
95. DEATH: Black
96. STALKERS: Weirdoes
97. CHEESE: Yum!
98. MONKEY COSTUMES: Ooooh!
99. THE DARK: Scary
100.CHAP STICK: What flavor?
101.POCKET KNIVES: No way.
______________
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
102.ALIENS: Duh!
103.OTHER PLANETS: C'mon!
104.SPACE: .....
105. GOD: Yup
106.SATAN: Yup
107.GHOST: Could happen
108.DEMONS: Maybe
109.LIFE: Obviously
110.VAMPIRES: Dracula?
______________
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THESE BANDS/SINGERS:
146.KoRn: Sucks
147.PAPA ROACH: Sure
148.HANSON: Fags
149.MARILYN MANSON: PSYCHO!
150.NSYNC: Whatever. Pass.
151.INCUBUS: Pretty good
152.LIMP BIZKIT: Yeah
53.BACKSTREET BOYS: Whatever. Pass.
154.LINKIN PARK: Can go to hell
155.BRITNEY SPEARS: Blonde trash!
156.JESSICA SIMPSON: Blonde trash!
157.TOOL: No?
158.KITTIE: No?
159.SLIPKNOT: Pass
160.DISTURBED: Pass
161.RICKY MARTIN: He's ok...
162.PINK FLOYD: :)
163.THE OFFSPRING: Sure?
164.BEASTIE BOYS: Thumbs up
165.GWEN STEFANI: Sure
166.EVE: Ewww
167.NELLY: Ewww
168.PUFF DADDY: Sorta eww
169.JA RULE: Ewww
PhoneSpelling.
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writebackwards
Alicia, you're a Rule-Breaking Revolutionary
Ever read the rules on the back of a board game? Followed directions to a recipe? We didn't think so. A wild child in the truest sense, you tend to make up your own plans and procedures as you go along. You're smart, you think things out, and you always back up your words with action.
Just keep in mind that you could actually learn a lot from some authority figures. So pay attention to people you respect who've gotten ahead and made their marks in life. They may know something you don't. Besides, sometimes playing by the rules is the best way to get what you want.
Ewww.... I wonder why guys scratch their balls all the time? Do they have a rash or lice or something?
Note to all girls and germophobics: NEVER buy fruit from a guy 'cause they scratch their balls and sell you the fruit without having washed their hands. Pigs.
I love you, Eddy! Always and forever!!!!
An ode to our beautiful and sexy Paul McCartney!
Love Always,
The Wedding Date Predictor
YOU ARE CLOSE to finding "the one!" We have carefully calculated your responses according to our scientific formula and harmonized the results to the Venutian lunar calendar. But don't get your hopes up to hear those wedding bells soon, because your bridesmaid days aren't over just yet.YOU WILL BE MARRIED BY: Saturday, September 27, 2008
A number of different factors influenced your result. Check out the details below.
Social Factors
On the social front, you are not looking at an immediate marriage prospect. Prince Charming, for now, is waiting in the wings. But keep in mind that he is slowly warming to the idea. Thankfully, now that you know your destiny, you can enjoy your single life to the fullest. Get out there and use it, girl.
Emotional Factors
Emotionally, you seem to be fairly ready for marriage. You show strong signs of being a contender, and you've got what it takes to make the plunge. Maybe any hesitation is just a small case of the "jitters." In any case, for Mr. Right, it's practically a done deal. He's just waiting for the right moment, so sit back and let it happen.
Sexual Factors
It appears that you have a number of sexually motivated reasons for avoiding marriage. Perhaps you view relationships as a series of unsolved mysteries, and you are not quite ready to turn in your badge and weapon. It's clear that the carefree single life can pose a strong attraction, but don't forget that the right person changes everything. When the day finally arrives that you're ready to say "case closed", just remember that Tickle told you so.
Science- System of A Down
Making two possibilities a reality,
Predicting the future of things we all know,
Fighting off the diseased programming
Of centuries, centuries, centuries, centuries.
Science fails to recognize the single most
Potent element of human existence
letting the reigns go to the unfolding
Is faith, faith, faith, faith.
Science has failed our world
Science has failed our Mother Earth.
Science fails to recognize the single most
Potent element of human existence
letting the reigns go to the unfolding
Is faith, faith, faith, faith.
Science has failed our world
Science has failed our Mother Earth.
Spirit-moves-t
Spirit-moves-t
Spirit-moves-t
Spirit-moves-t
Spirit-moves-t
Spirit-moves-t
letting the reigns go to the unfolding
Is faith, faith, faith, faith
letting the reigns go to the unfolding
Is faith, faith, faith, faith.
Science has failed our world
Science has failed our Mother Earth.
Spirit-moves-t
Spirit-moves-t
Spirit-moves-t
Spirit-moves-t
Spirit-moves-t
Spirit-moves-t
Spirit-moves-t
Spirit-moves-t
Spirit-moves-t
Spirit-moves-t
Spirit-moves-t
Spirit-moves-t
Science has failed our Mother Earth.
Directions to Eddy's house from my home....
You just love to love, don't you? We can tell that you're a die-hard romantic who appreciates the deep sentiment that loving, meaningful words and actions bring to life. Love and romance go hand-in-hand for you, so you adore pouring on the terms of endearment, the hopeful promises, and the doting acts you think your fella deserves. Whether you're in an idealistic and caring mood or being sweet, playful, and impulsive, you're a giving partner who's eager to express how excited you are about your relationship. For you, love is all about sharing your feelings and making your significant other feel cherished. After all, the more often you reassure him of the strength of your emotions, the better, right? And you love tapping your creative side to express how much he means to you and how important you think his needs are. Congratulation
Forest-System of A Down
Walk with me my little child,
To the forest of denial,
Speak with me my only mind,
Walk with me until the time,
And make the forest turn to wine,
You take the legend for a fall,
You saw the product,
Why can't you see that you are my child,
Why don't you know that you are my mind,
Tell everyone in the world, that I'm you,
Take this promise to the end of you.
Walk with me my little friend,
Take this promise to the end,
Speak with me my only mind,
Walk with me until the end,
And make the forest turn to sand,
You take the legend for a fall,
You saw the product,
Why can't you see that you are my child,
Why don't you know that you are my mind,
Tell everyone in the world, that I'm you,
Take this promise to the end of you.
Take this promise for a ride,
You saw the forest, now come inside,
You took the legend for its fall,
You saw the product of it all,
No televisions in the air,
No circumcisions on the chair,
You made the weapons for us all,
Just look at us now,
Why can't you see that you are my child,
Why don't you know that you are my mind,
Tell everyone in the world, that I'm you,
Take this promise to the end of you.
Alicia, your candy heart says Say Yes!
Is it that surprising your candy heart implores you to "Say Yes"? Well it shouldn't if it's just mimicking what your true heart wants to say. Whether you're with your soul mate or still trying to find them, you're beyond flitting from date to date. You're ready for it all, the commitment of a lifetime, the white picket fence and the matching "his" and "hers" slippers.
Well, maybe not the slippers. But surprise you with a getaway trip to Paris, Ireland, the Southwest, and your partner can lock you in for good. And if you're still looking, remember this: The best ones are always in the least likely places.
Watch out, the chemistry between you two might start a chain reaction that could result in a far more serious question asked of you. But you know what to say...
You're Pretty Tame
Most people think you're as good as gold. We know better. Sure, you're generally a by-the-book, law-abiding model citizen, but every once in a while you like to break a rule or three. Skinny dipping? Done it. Had a drink too many now and then? Guilty as charged. But chances are that's pretty much the worst of it. We all have a few skeletons in our closet, but when it comes right down to it, you're a nice person. You wouldn't dream of making a serious play for your best friend's squeeze, and you always pay your traffic fines — speeding and parking tickets. It's a good balance. If everyone was like you, the world would be a happier place, so keep it up!
Alicia, you're an Adventurous Amiga
Hey wild child, sometimes your friends might think you're a little crazy for all of the risks you take. But they never doubt that you're the one to go to when it's time to pull out all the stops. Enthusiastic, driven, and dedicated — you set your sights high, and you almost always accomplish your goals. Let's face it, you're gutsy, and that's why your friends know that they can count on you when the going gets tough...or when they need to get tough themselves.Whether you are encouraging friends to make new goals or achieve old ones, people close to you rely on you for inspiration and support. What more could a friend ask for?
Alicia, when it comes to email, you're a Joker
They say when you laugh, the world laughs with you. If that's the case, then we're all having one giant global chuckle thanks to your funny phrases. We're not sure how you do it, but you seem to have a comedian buried somewhere within.
Between ironic observations, and your gift for gab, your emails probably rise to the top of the list when people see them in their inboxes. And friends probably keep them around as long as they've got space in their email for them. After all, who couldn't use a little levity in the middle of a long workday? But as much as you love a good joke, all that Internet junk mail is no laughing matter. How are friends going to get that huge photo of you making that face if their email is clogged with spam?