ASDFGHJKL;
When will I fucking learn?
I'm under a ton of stress right now and I'm going through moral and mental issues that are just making everything worse.
I've broken down so many times lately, even the smallest things set me off.
I really need to learn that my feelins count too, I should be doing what I want and need to, rather than what benefits other people.
Fuck.

Hey, you guys want some good advice?
DON'T START BULLSHIT WITH ME OR BULLSHIT THAT INVOLVES ME!
...Okay?
Good.

Eric died Sunday morning.

I had a Halo2 like dream last night.
Except, I wasn't killing the covenant.
...I was killing demon schoolchildren (like 2nd-3rd grade.)
...Wtf?

Things are finally looking good.
Have had good luck in almost everything.
I've been inspired to write /and/ draw again.
<3 life right now.

Ruined an April Fools joke today~ Yay for being a looser~
Also brought up Eric in English for just a few moments, and just that almost drove me to tears.
I hate being weak..

I ended up having to break it off with my boyfriend mostly due to my own stress and mental problems.
Not a whole lost more is new right now...a little tired...I guess..
Yeah~

I'm so tired of this...
I'm tired of not being able to eat anything withou feeling like I'm going to throw up.
I'm tired of this stabbing pain that won't let me do anything when it comes and leaving me feeling worse when it leaves.
I'm tired of all these tests and the doctors /still/ not knowing what's wrong with me.
All I want for my birthday is to feel better...but with the way things are going right now...
Please...just shoot me. I'm so sick and I don't know what's wrong and I just want this to end.
I've ruined my sister's birthday and my family's Thanksgiving because I was sick. I feel so guilty because of it.
And I'm just so scared because I don't know anything.
What the Hell did I do to make myself so sick? What's wrong with me? Why don't the doctors know?
I just want to know...

Well...
Shit.
My great Auntie Tina died yesterday.
Hell, I barely knew her but I still feel like shit about it.
My pills for my ilness screw me up too, feeling a little sick...headache...tired...yeah

WAKE UP JENNY.
Gah, so sleep....don't wanna go to school.
Oh well.
At least we get out early because it's Friday.
But we have a pep rally.
Gah.
I hate school.
Oh well...time to get on the bus and listen to NIN and maybe sleep~

Things are starting to get better.
Thank Ra.
Last night wasn't so bad, just hung around until my mett with the drama coach and then for the meeting. I had a much better time then expected, but then again...I'm not suprised. ^^;
<33

Well...
Isn't interesting how like one person (or two) can figure out how to get under the thick layer you've built up against teasing SINCE THE FIRST FUCKING GRADE.
And they just fucking ruin your day.
Most important thing I have to say to anyone who ever meets me:
Just because I look alright on the outside doesn't mean I'm stable.
Almost always approach me with caution and either expect me to remain (falsely) cheerful, go mental, or just break down.
Gah.
~Nny

Fucking Hell.
I hate this.
I'm having mental things AGAIN that I can't really open up about I seem to be in a steady systematic decline.
*SMASHES HEAD INTO DESK*
Jesus Christ, just fucking shoot me before I have another mental breakdown and start crying in class.
*Deep breath*
I hate this. --;

Gah.
Spider bites.
AGAIN.
On my back.
Speech, Debate, and Drama starts tomorrow! Convinced DustDevil to join~
Working on CDs for Christmas for cousins, Cristina-chan and Ciat~
almost 30 fxcking CDs.
And my burner is being an ass.
Halloween costume almost finished~
Poll up~
Art sucking~
Writing okay~
Music going well, inpiring other things~
Wiki...well...wtf?~
Relations, friends well, family okay, lover well.
I still feel sick. Xx;

Lesse...
Went caving...
Am feeling kinda crappy....
Have a musical stuck in my head...
Head might explode...
Wanna write a PotC, HP, KH, JtHM, TVC fic (NOT COMBINED)
Kinda pissed off...
Yay~
This week has been full of ups and downs.
*goes off to take pain and allergy meds*

~happydance~
I got meh PS2
PE-ESE-DOS!

My throat hurts.
Really bad.
I just wish I could double over (to my left) and puke my guts out so the pain might go away.
u_u;

*shudder*
I hate spiders...
15 frickin spider bites....
damn spiders...
x_x;;;

Bleh, I've been really sick.
And I'm leaving tomorrow to go to my grandparent's.
7 hours in the car...and I get carsick.
FunFun.
In artistic news: I'm working on pictures of Arucard, Link, Johnny, and Sesshourmaru.
I drew on a marshmallow with a pen today. Maybe I'll take pictures to share my wierdness with everyone XD
Writing news: I'm still working on 'Carpe Deim' ('Live the Day' Severus Snape/Regulus Black, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin.)
I feel sick again and I should sleep since we're leaving early...like 6-ish.
Well...G'night.
*crawls off to bed*