ET: Member blog

[Shishiru]'s diary

950622 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2007-06-21
Written: (6364 days ago)

Next in thread: 950658

Waaah! my girlfriends laughign at meee! and she made my brain gush!!

I have a crush, on, like, three other girls, her, and my boyfriend... and she just gave me the mental image of a group snuggle >.<

Nuu! -T^T-;; must...stop...crushing!

but...they're...so...CUTE!! GAAAAH!!!

(note: no, it's fine with rikki...shes havign fun laughing at me for it)

948051 Link to this entry
Written about Wednesday 2007-06-13
Written: (6372 days ago)

I almost died =3 while in NH...litterally!

but, my life was saved...thanks to COKE-BEER!!

(Coke-beer = cokacola and rootbeer mixed)

946089 Link to this entry
Written about Wednesday 2007-06-06
Written: (6379 days ago)

Mmkay, so im in new hampshire right now...

not much has changed o.O

I miss my old hometown...
but i gott aget back to my kickass ohio friends sometime XP

so my dads givign me a choice if i want to stay longer or not...im not sure what to do..i should ask my mom, but i keep forgetting...and ive got to make up my mind by saturday... oi...i dont know...

Well, today, wednesday the 6th, we were suppost to go to my unckes house for dinner, but one of my cousins (whom ive never seen, i only saw the first when she was a baby) got sick, so now we're just going out for ice cream later =D I MISS HODGIES!! (hodgies = BETS ICECREAM EVER!! and the large...sheesh...take three McDonalds large cups and combine them, and there you have a large hodgies icecream XD) Im so excited about going back there...i wonder if i can finally eat all that ice cream...

945881 Link to this entry
Written about Wednesday 2007-06-06
Written: (6380 days ago)

Next in thread: 945971

This is my recollection of my week:

Saturday,the 2nd; brother came from NH, and hang out, and took me driving for my very first time. we left at 8 that night to NH--we got there around 9am

Sunday the 3rd; randomly showed up at Lina's and Marisa's house. Spent the evening with them, and stayed the night at lina's.

Monday the 4th; woke up at 5:15 am, to go to school with lina, only to be turned down in my own school, and forced to wait in the office until 8:30, than went home, and vegitated...

Tuesday the 5th; Went skydiving =3 it was awesome! than i also ate one of the best BBQ grilled chicken sandwhiches ive ever had @.@; horray for home-made barbaque sauce! Than i went over to lina's for a bit, and tried to go to the mall, but my dad was late, and linas dad was being an idiot and wouldnt let her come, so i went with marisa, and had fun! =3 i got hugged by four random guys holdign signs that said "FREE HUGS!" aaahh...New Hampshire... you find those kinda guys alot...where are they in OHIO?? >< ... ^-^ gotta love it sometimes... I also broke up a family feud between my dad and older half sister -.-; I had to yell, than speak to them like children until they actually listened to me...i hate my family sometimes

At the mall, i bought a book, and two new rainbow wrist bands! [Toboe: If you havnt found your old one, you can have mine if you want! =3]

944462 Link to this entry
Written about Friday 2007-06-01
Written: (6384 days ago)

i adore this boy...

Billy Gilman:

I am black, I am white
I am all skins in between
I am young, I am old
I am each age that has been
I am scrawny, I am well fed
I am starving for attention
I am famous, I am cryptic
I am hardly worth the mention
I am short, I am height
I am any frame or stature
I am smart, I am challenged
I am striving for a future

Chorus:
The color of sky is blues and grays
The color of earth is greens and browns
The color of hope is rainbows and purple
And the color of peace is people together
Shades of life
I am

I am able, I am weak
I am some strength, I am none
I am being, I am thought
I am all things, said and done
I am born, I am died
I am dust of humble roots
I am grace, I am pain
I am labor of winned fruites
I am slave, I am free
I am bonded to my life
I am rich, I am poor
I am wealth amid strife

[Repeat Chorus]

I am shadow, I am glory
I am hiding from my shame
I am hero, I am loser
I am yearning for a name
I am empty, I am proud
I am seaking my tomorrow
I am growing, I am fading
I am hope amid the sorrow
I am vertain, I am doubtful
I am desperate for solutions
I am leader, I am student
I am fate and evolutions

I am spirit, I am voice
I am memory, not recalled
I am chance, I am cause
I am effort blocked and walled
I am hymn, I am heard
I am reasoned without rhymes
I am past, I am nearing
I am present in all times
I am many, I am no one
I am seasoned by each being
I am me, I am you
I am all-souls now decreeing

[Repeat Chorus]

944454 Link to this entry
Written about Friday 2007-06-01
Written: (6384 days ago)

I love this song:

one heart you are following

you can run but you can't begin
in a place where you don't fit in
cause love will find a way (yea)
when you're down you can start again
turn around anything you're in
love will find a place

if you've got...

(chorus)
one heart
you are following
one dream
keeps you wondering
love lights your way through the night
one wish
keeps you tryin
once your silver linin
love lights your way through the night

you can fall a thousand times
you can feel like you've lost your mind
but love will find a way (o yea)
in a minute you can change your life
and a moment can make it right
love will find a place (ayeaea)

if you've got...

(chorus)

everybody needs something to hold on to (2 x's)

if you've got...

(chorus)

keeps you tryin...once your silver linin...love lights your way through the night
....love will find a way...love will find a way in your heart

944452 Link to this entry
Written about Friday 2007-06-01
Written: (6384 days ago)

A song-type thing i made up...
it sort of reflects how i feel on this lovely, yet gloomy
1st of June...

[To my long lost friend...]

Dear friend, how are you?
Im doing fine
how is your family?
they're almost like a scattered memory to me...

Im sorry for the way i acted
i never meant any harm
I was young, and reckless
you know how it gets

Im sorry i did this thing to you
I dissapeared without a trace
the last i said things i said to you
the last time i saw that beautiful smile...

I miss those pictures
the ones we took on that day
you were so much taller than me
but i loved you just the same

You're my sister, my flesh and blood
though we dont share the same family
You're close to my heart
my soul, and hopefully i am to you

You've changed so much
ive watched you grow from afar
i havnt changed at all
how is this going to work out?

My dear loving sister, you will say it wont matter
but it makes me nervous even still
to stand at your door
a hand clutched over my heart

You were the best thing to ever happen to me
when i was going through such hard times
but i abused you, took over you
i cant say how sorry i am, even in simple words.

Im nervous, should i even be doing this?
im scared, my sister
wont you hold me close
and tell me everything will be alright?

My dear loving sister, you will say it wont matter
but it makes me nervous even still
to stand at your door
a hand clutched over my heart

Dont get me wrong, im excited
but im frightened you wont accept me
what i have become...or rather...
what i have not become

Maybe we can do old things
we used to go on walks in the forest
we used to walk to the corner store
visiting the places of our earlier childhood.

My dear loving sister, you will say it wont matter
but it makes me nervous even still
to stand at your door
a hand clutched over my heart

To my dear old friend...
Im coming, im running towards you
Im returning, but if only for a short time
wont you welcome me...

[with open arms?]

944447 Link to this entry
Written about Friday 2007-06-01
Written: (6384 days ago)

[A poem i made
it also reflects how i feel
on this day, June 1st...]

Im searching for something
something ive lost a good
long time ago
I need it to survive

I retrace my steps
glancing to old footprints
worn away by time
will i ever find it?

I never stopped to look
i didnt even realize
what i had left behind
it was a large piece of myself.

I traveled so far,
it could be anywhere by now
but im still going to look
no matter where i must travel.

Over mountains, peaks
over trees, rivers
streams, oceans
ill do whatever i can

My childhood calls to me
i cry alone, reaching for what ive lost
My friends might think im fine
but im not, i need to find it.

Ive lost my ability to feel
i feel the chills of emptiness filing me
it races down my spine
i dotn want to live this way

Theres a reason for celebration
i think i hear it calling to me
I'll become a child once more
will you welcome me with open arms?

I continue to look
until this day
i fear i will never find it
that piece of my heart i left behind.

942490 Link to this entry
Written about Friday 2007-05-25
Written: (6391 days ago)

We are what we're supposed to be
Illusions of your fantasy
All dots and lines that speak and say
What we do is what you wish to do

We are the color symphony
We do the things you wanna see
Frame by frame, to the extreme

Our friends are so unreasonable
They do the unpredictable
All dots lines that speak and say
What we do is what you wish to do

It's all an orchestra of strings
Doin' unbelievable things
Frame by frame, to the extreme
One by one, we're makin' it fun

We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper

Here comes Spiderman, arachnophobian
Welcome to the toon town party
Here comes Superman, from never-neverland
Welcome to the toon town party

We learned to run at speed of light
And to fall down from any height
It's true, but just remember that
What we do is what you just can't do

And all the worlds of craziness
A bunch of stars that's chasing us
Frame by frame, to the extreme
One by one, we're makin' it fun

We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper

Here comes Spiderman, arachnophobian
Welcome to the toon town party
Here comes Superman, from never-neverland
Welcome to the toon town party

You think we're so mysterious
Don't take us all too serious
Be original, and remember that
What we do is what you just can't do

What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do

We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper

There's still more to come
And everyone will be
Welcomed at the
Toon - Toon
Town - Town
Party

942197 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2007-05-24
Written: (6392 days ago)

The week after this next week...
Im nervous as hell...

Im going away somewhere...
somewhere far away...
where my childhood will take me into it's arms again...
Im not saying where im going
it isnt where you might be thinking...

but im going to visit an old friend...
I hope they can open thier heart to me once again
and accept that i am sorry...

For those of you who know where i am going, do not speak a word to this friend...

for those of you who dont know...its best that you dont

941921 Link to this entry
Written about Wednesday 2007-05-23
Written: (6393 days ago)

When somebody loved me
Everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together
Lives within my heart

And when she was sad
I was there to dry her tears
And when she was happy
So was I
When she loved me

Through the summer and fall
We had each other
That was all
Just she and I together
Like it was meant to be

And when she was lonely
I was there to comfort her
And I knew
That she loved me

So the years went by
I stayed the same
But she began to drift away
I was left alone

Still I waited for the day
When she'd say
I will always love you

Lonely and forgotten
Never thought she'd look my way
And she smiled at me
And held me
Just like she used to do
Like she loved me
When she loved me

When somebody loved me
Everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together
Lives within my heart
When she loved me

940616 Link to this entry
Written about Friday 2007-05-18
Written: (6398 days ago)

Im hungry -.-

thats all

940404 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2007-05-17
Written: (6399 days ago)

rar

939434 Link to this entry
Written about Monday 2007-05-14
Written: (6402 days ago)

¬_¬

938460 Link to this entry
Written about Thursday 2007-05-10
Written: (6406 days ago)

December winds
the soft, chillign sentsation
This chilly winter night
perhaps represents myself

I stare with open eyes
the snow
gently falling with this gentle breeze
a breeze which caresses my soft
delicate skin.
The cold winter night is calling me
lulling me to sleep

I close my eyes
and i am drowning in thought
as the soft, cold cotton snow burries me away
I can feel it all slipping away.
My sorrows are all vanishing
into a sea of white

I suddenly can no longer feel
i hear something
a voice from far away
they are screaming something
or maybe even crying
crying for me?

My beloved white cotton has suddenly changed
it's changed colors...
A deep crimson covers the ground beneath me...
is this my own blood?
what has happened?
I cant remember...

I try to open my eyes
i struggle to see what is going on around me
but im failing...
pretty soon, that energy fades away
and the lullaby has returned
that sweet lullaby, soon soothes my hurting soul

and i slowly drift to unconsiousness...

[(dont ask! this is a poem for a character base i started!)]

937814 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2007-05-08
Written: (6408 days ago)

Ooooi! Im in pain--Okay, heres what happened:

I was walking across the parking lot at Target, the one nearest to my house (so my friends know XD), when my foot stepped in a ditch in a handicapped place (just MY luck, eh? XD) and i fell--I threw my bags out infront of me, and, knowing from expirience, i made myself fall right onto my knee...I know that when you fall, dont guard with your hands, or else you could break your wrists--instead, fall with your knees, because they're stronger, and harder to beak than your wrists...so im glad all i got was a big ass scrape on my righ thand and on my knee, but heres the thing-- MY KNEE STINGS LIKE HELL! X_X and my mom says it will for a while...i cant kneel down, because if i touch it, it stings...i have a big bandaid on it, and on monday i had my leg up in bandage wrap, because it hurt to bend...i took the bandages off when i got home, and im not wearing them today, to see if id be good without them...so far it's okay, but people keep bumping me, and i keep running into things x_x atleast the bandages softened the blows so it didnt hurt as bad! I think i might wear them tomorrow, untill that stupis scrape stops stinging...it's a large ass scrape too--they had to use one of those big flexible bandages to cover the whole thing x_x; damn those target-er people! and the manager told my mom that they cant do anything but report it, because they dont own the parking lot...so my moms calling, to have the ditch filled in...Im just glad it was me, and not some poor old guy/girl...they could have broken every bone in thier body...
and heres another thing: when i fell, i noticed there was an infant child right behind me--if she had fallen instead of me, she could have gotten worse too... ^_^ so i kinda feel good about it! Oh, and when i fell, the first thing that came out of my mouth, after i laughed, and said "oof" when i hit the ground was: "Im fine! That was Fun!" than ten minutes later "ow, okay, now its starting to sting a little..." XD im such a doofus.

935674 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2007-05-01
Written: (6415 days ago)

moshimo ima subete ga umaku nante ikanai
makesou ni naru toki datte
hitomi wo tojireba kokoro kara
sekai ga miete kuru

In this world when life can be so tough
You must be strong
Just believe in yourself and don\'t you fear
So open up your mind and close your eyes
Take another look from the other side

kodoku na yoru demo mayoi osoreru toki mo
ima wa hitori demo kono ashi de doko made mo
aruite ikeru hazu dakara

Just hold on tight hitomi tojita nara
Look inside yourself kagayaki ga aru kara
Yes, subete shinjite hoshii
You can take another look from the other side

Just hold on tight kokoro kujikete mo
Reach into your soul ashita ga mienakute mo
Yes, ikiru tsuyosa ga areba
You can take another look from the other side
ai no subete ni deau made...

kono sekai de ikinuite-iku tame no tsuyosa wo
anata ni negatte-iru kara
kokoro no tobira wo hiraitara
nanika ga miete kuru

Just remember you are not alone
So don\'t you fear
Even though you\'re miles away
I\'m by your side
So open up your mind and close your eyes
I\'ll be there for you no matter where you are

hoshi no inochi nara nagai kedo itsu made mo
onaji kono hibi ga kurikaesu wake ja nai
ashita wa dare ni mo mienai

Just hold on tight hitomi tojita nara
Look inside yourself kodou kanjiru kara
Yes, "MIRAI" shinjite hoshii
You can take another look from the other side

Just hold on tight kokoro kujikete mo
Reach into your soul ashita ga mienakute mo
Yes, chigau sekai ga atte
You can take another look from the other side
ai no subete ni deaeru yo...

Just hold on tight hitomi tojita nara
Look inside yourself kodou kanjiru kara
Yes, "MIRAI" shinjite hoshii
You can take another look from the other side

Just hold on tight kokoro kujikete mo
Reach into your soul ashita ga mienakute mo
Yes, chigau sekai ga atte
You can take another look from the other side
ai no subete ni deau made...

935663 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2007-05-01
Written: (6415 days ago)

^-^ thats so cool, i won 100k on GaiaOnline! ...but, sadly, i lost my favorite wristband...i just bought it too >.< I hope it turns up and someone returns it...

933466 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2007-04-24
Written: (6422 days ago)

Maintenant il est temps pour un certain Français ! Français Français Français ! pourquoi ? le cuz i a appris du français tandis que j'étais au New Hampshire... pourquoi ? je ne sais pas, ils suis sourd-muet... Keri a mon dos sur celui-ci !

933464 Link to this entry
Written about Tuesday 2007-04-24
Written: (6422 days ago)

Dieses Journal ist auf Deutsch warum? ich weiß nicht, weil im... im sitzend in meiner VCD Kategorie bohrten, und im reales einsames... schätze ich, daß ich gerade eine Umarmung benötige? * Einflüsse aus Armen *

932783 Link to this entry
Written about Sunday 2007-04-22
Written: (6424 days ago)

This is True.
This is how i feel, about YOU

you wont know who you are
until it is too late
you ignore me
i dont think you even believe
that we are still friends
what did i do wrong?
why are you so distant from me?
you never call
we never speak
i speak to you
i try to joke with you
but in responce
all i get is a small noise
from your throat.
What is it that i've done?
are you just no longer interested?
do you even consider me
as your friend any longer?
you'll never know who you are
because you simply dont care
so go
run away from it
go away
leave me
you and your "girlfriend"
who needs friends anyway?
you wont know who you are
until i am gone...
so go
i no longer care...
who needs friends
like you anyways...
Go
and listen to your stupid music
you abandoned me
so what does it matter?
I miss the old you
the one i could talk with.
You get mad because i leave early
but
to put it simply
if i walked with you
we'd never speak.
I care for you,
but i never get
the same responce back,
when we're all together
you're never happy
unless SHE is there.
and when she is
we never speak
our eyes never even MEET
So Leave,
Fuck Off
i dont care.
I dont need a friend
who doesnt need anyone else
but her.
You show no gratitude.
Without me,
there wouldnt be a YOU and HER
I dont feel its fair
to leave me out in EVERYTHING
everytime i hear your plans
HER name escapes your lips
or someone ELSES
besides ME
we never go ANYWHERE together
without bringing HER along
otherwise
you're bored
I hate it.
I hate what you've done to me.
Dont try and consol me
If you think real hard, you'll know who you are
and i dont want to hear
any BULLSHIT from you
go away
emo girl
far away
because i dont care
because you dont care
so there

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