I woke up this morning
with two cuts in my left wrist.

I have no idea where they must have come from, but it stings like hell, but it's okay. I must have just slept on a pencil or something... maybe mechanical..

<.< my friends think i'm hiding something, because the cuts are horizontal, and almost aligned... *shrug* whatever, believe what you want. Wether I am lying to you or not...thats for you to decide, loves.

Either way, life is dull...
I need to get out...
I need to escape.

I need to run.

Seasons come and go, but they dont last.
Before you know it, the future is the past.
Please help me remove this curse from within my skin.
That light of life around me, it grows so dim.

I've been wishing on a broken star.
Hoping soon to hold you in my arms.
Watching as those city lights slowly die.
Slowly, I am losing my ability to fly.

With you I could do anything
I wish you could stay with me, and see everything.
I could touch the stars hung up high at night.
You gave me that beautiful gift of flight.

Without your love, I fear I will fall.
I cant even stand, so I have to crawl.
As the darkness surrounds me, I slowly grow weak.
I open my mouth, but I fear I can no longer speak.

I've been wishing on a broken star.
Hoping soon to hold you in my arms.
Watching as those city lights slowly die.
Slowly, I am losing my ability to fly.

Im bored... I want to roleplay... >.<;;

I cant keep this a secret anymore.

I want to tell you the truth, a truth i was hiding from you, but now you just wont listen...

I know you wont believe me, but it is the honest truth, but now you wont even speak to me. Please allow me ot tell you the truth, I need to tell you about why I acted the way that I did. I made you fall out of love with me.

My heart is heavy, I feel as though I cannot stand anymore... I just want to cry myself to death.

Please dotn blaim her, I love her. This is my own fault. My heart is bleeding slowly, and it is my own fault.

I did this to myself. This feeling is brought on me by myself. It is my feeling to bare alone, like I feel I should be...

If your interested at all in talkign to me, and why would you be, anytime after 7 would be a good time to call my cell...if you have the number... if not, message me, and ill probabaly give it to you...but i doubt you'll want it.

I might not be good conversation, though...yeah... I gotta go for the day... Ill be in my room...

dude, a lock of hair in the front was dyed purple by a friend... Ill have a picture up soon ._.;;

I reach my hand out
but I cant reach that far
the darkness surrounds me
sucking me in.

My heart aches and longs for it,
My body cannot handle this stress
the darkness feeds on my feelings.
My emotions are draining.

Here I sit, alone in the darkness
my body refuses to move
I can only look
Into darkness with these eyes.

A single tear escapes
it's form is broken as it collides with the solid ground
I speak a name
but no words can escape my lip.

I manage to lift a hand
i hold it out
waiting for someone to take it
but no one ever does.

I am stranded in this dark abyss
wordlessly, I call out for her
there is no reply.
am I really going to die?

Im all alone,
why didnt they come to rescue me?
why was I left alone?
Alone to suffer in the Darkness

yyyup...empty...

hmm... *sigh* still noimprovement on how im feeling...just the same as ever... empty...

Waaah! my girlfriends laughign at meee! and she made my brain gush!!

I have a crush, on, like, three other girls, her, and my boyfriend... and she just gave me the mental image of a group snuggle >.<

Nuu! -T^T-;; must...stop...crushing!

but...they're...so...CUTE!! GAAAAH!!!

(note: no, it's fine with rikki...shes havign fun laughing at me for it)

I almost died =3 while in NH...litterally!

but, my life was saved...thanks to COKE-BEER!!

(Coke-beer = cokacola and rootbeer mixed)

Mmkay, so im in new hampshire right now...

not much has changed o.O

I miss my old hometown...
but i gott aget back to my kickass ohio friends sometime XP

so my dads givign me a choice if i want to stay longer or not...im not sure what to do..i should ask my mom, but i keep forgetting...and ive got to make up my mind by saturday... oi...i dont know...

Well, today, wednesday the 6th, we were suppost to go to my unckes house for dinner, but one of my cousins (whom ive never seen, i only saw the first when she was a baby) got sick, so now we're just going out for ice cream later =D I MISS HODGIES!! (hodgies = BETS ICECREAM EVER!! and the large...sheesh...take three McDonalds large cups and combine them, and there you have a large hodgies icecream XD) Im so excited about going back there...i wonder if i can finally eat all that ice cream...

This is my recollection of my week:

Saturday,the 2nd; brother came from NH, and hang out, and took me driving for my very first time. we left at 8 that night to NH--we got there around 9am

Sunday the 3rd; randomly showed up at Lina's and Marisa's house. Spent the evening with them, and stayed the night at lina's.

Monday the 4th; woke up at 5:15 am, to go to school with lina, only to be turned down in my own school, and forced to wait in the office until 8:30, than went home, and vegitated...

Tuesday the 5th; Went skydiving =3 it was awesome! than i also ate one of the best BBQ grilled chicken sandwhiches ive ever had @.@; horray for home-made barbaque sauce! Than i went over to lina's for a bit, and tried to go to the mall, but my dad was late, and linas dad was being an idiot and wouldnt let her come, so i went with marisa, and had fun! =3 i got hugged by four random guys holdign signs that said "FREE HUGS!" aaahh...New Hampshire... you find those kinda guys alot...where are they in OHIO?? >< ... ^-^ gotta love it sometimes... I also broke up a family feud between my dad and older half sister -.-; I had to yell, than speak to them like children until they actually listened to me...i hate my family sometimes

At the mall, i bought a book, and two new rainbow wrist bands! [Toboe: If you havnt found your old one, you can have mine if you want! =3]

i adore this boy...

Billy Gilman:


I am black, I am white
I am all skins in between
I am young, I am old
I am each age that has been
I am scrawny, I am well fed
I am starving for attention
I am famous, I am cryptic
I am hardly worth the mention
I am short, I am height
I am any frame or stature
I am smart, I am challenged
I am striving for a future

Chorus:
The color of sky is blues and grays
The color of earth is greens and browns
The color of hope is rainbows and purple
And the color of peace is people together
Shades of life
I am

I am able, I am weak
I am some strength, I am none
I am being, I am thought
I am all things, said and done
I am born, I am died
I am dust of humble roots
I am grace, I am pain
I am labor of winned fruites
I am slave, I am free
I am bonded to my life
I am rich, I am poor
I am wealth amid strife

[Repeat Chorus]

I am shadow, I am glory
I am hiding from my shame
I am hero, I am loser
I am yearning for a name
I am empty, I am proud
I am seaking my tomorrow
I am growing, I am fading
I am hope amid the sorrow
I am vertain, I am doubtful
I am desperate for solutions
I am leader, I am student
I am fate and evolutions

I am spirit, I am voice
I am memory, not recalled
I am chance, I am cause
I am effort blocked and walled
I am hymn, I am heard
I am reasoned without rhymes
I am past, I am nearing
I am present in all times
I am many, I am no one
I am seasoned by each being
I am me, I am you
I am all-souls now decreeing

[Repeat Chorus]

I love this song:

one heart you are following

you can run but you can't begin
in a place where you don't fit in
cause love will find a way (yea)
when you're down you can start again
turn around anything you're in
love will find a place

if you've got...

(chorus)
one heart
you are following
one dream
keeps you wondering
love lights your way through the night
one wish
keeps you tryin
once your silver linin
love lights your way through the night

you can fall a thousand times
you can feel like you've lost your mind
but love will find a way (o yea)
in a minute you can change your life
and a moment can make it right
love will find a place (ayeaea)

if you've got...

(chorus)

everybody needs something to hold on to (2 x's)

if you've got...

(chorus)

keeps you tryin...once your silver linin...love lights your way through the night
....love will find a way...love will find a way in your heart

We are what we're supposed to be
Illusions of your fantasy
All dots and lines that speak and say
What we do is what you wish to do


We are the color symphony
We do the things you wanna see
Frame by frame, to the extreme


Our friends are so unreasonable
They do the unpredictable
All dots lines that speak and say
What we do is what you wish to do


It's all an orchestra of strings
Doin' unbelievable things
Frame by frame, to the extreme
One by one, we're makin' it fun


We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper


Here comes Spiderman, arachnophobian
Welcome to the toon town party
Here comes Superman, from never-neverland
Welcome to the toon town party


We learned to run at speed of light
And to fall down from any height
It's true, but just remember that
What we do is what you just can't do


And all the worlds of craziness
A bunch of stars that's chasing us
Frame by frame, to the extreme
One by one, we're makin' it fun


We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper


Here comes Spiderman, arachnophobian
Welcome to the toon town party
Here comes Superman, from never-neverland
Welcome to the toon town party


You think we're so mysterious
Don't take us all too serious
Be original, and remember that
What we do is what you just can't do


What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do
What we do is what you just can't do


We are the Cartoon Heroes - oh-oh-oh
We are the ones who're gonna last forever
We came out of a crazy mind - oh-oh-oh
And walked out on a piece of paper


There's still more to come
And everyone will be
Welcomed at the
Toon - Toon
Town - Town
Party

The week after this next week...
Im nervous as hell...

Im going away somewhere...
somewhere far away...
where my childhood will take me into it's arms again...
Im not saying where im going
it isnt where you might be thinking...

but im going to visit an old friend...
I hope they can open thier heart to me once again
and accept that i am sorry...

For those of you who know where i am going, do not speak a word to this friend...

for those of you who dont know...its best that you dont

When somebody loved me
Everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together
Lives within my heart

And when she was sad
I was there to dry her tears
And when she was happy
So was I
When she loved me

Through the summer and fall
We had each other
That was all
Just she and I together
Like it was meant to be

And when she was lonely
I was there to comfort her
And I knew
That she loved me

So the years went by
I stayed the same
But she began to drift away
I was left alone

Still I waited for the day
When she'd say
I will always love you

Lonely and forgotten
Never thought she'd look my way
And she smiled at me
And held me
Just like she used to do
Like she loved me
When she loved me

When somebody loved me
Everything was beautiful
Every hour we spent together
Lives within my heart
When she loved me

Im hungry -.-

thats all