hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha my grandma's dying
hahahahahahahahahahaha she had a big fit on sunday
hahahahahahahaha she couldnt breathe
hahahahaha she didn't wake up
hahaha she's going to die
haha she won't like being dead
ha why is she dying?

i love my grandma



I don't want her to die





How many tears does it take to bring 1 person back?

What do you do when you feel like your heart is [ b r e a k i n g ]?
When the only thing you want to do is sit in a corner and [ c r y ]?
How does the strongest person become reduced to shining [ t e a r s ]?
What do you say when your friends turn their back on [ y o u ]?
How can a heart of gold be [ b r o k e n ]?
How can a heart of stone be [ f i x e d ]?

I have all the questions

But who has all the answers?

Safi says hi. 
You can't see Safi.
Safi can see you
Safi loves you.
She says you are [ b e a u t i f u l ]
Do you ~beli[e]ve~ her?
You should.
She knows everything.
Why don't you ask her something?
[She'll answer]

This world is sick
It's pathetic
It's twisted
It's mutilated
There are children being killed the world over
There are grown men killing tiny babies to save their own skins
There are hugely intelligent men setting off bombs for their beliefs
That kill hundreds
There is so much bullshit in this world
It's hard to believe that any of us are still alive
But we are
And that's why we have to fight
We are still alive
So we can still fight for the one's who arent
The ones who can't speak for themselves
For the voiceless ones.
For the innocent ones.
For the children.
For the parents.
For the glorious dead.


You have a voice.
Use it

We, here, in the western countries, have medicines.
These medicines are cheap and easy to make.
They prevent us from dying of highly common, vicious diseases.
We could easily provide the countries of Africa with the same preventative measures.
But we dont.
And a small child dies every 3 seconds, of every minute, of every hour, of every day, because our countries didnt help.
When we could have.
It's not fair.

Why didn't we help?

Would you laugh?
Would you cry?
Would you shout?
Would you die?
Would you still need me?
Like I don't need you?
Or would you just pretend that nothing ever happened...?

What if I told you that  i . d.o.n.t . l.o.v.e . y.o.u . a.n.y . m.o.r.e . ? 

What if I told you how i really feel?

You left me on the sidewalk to die inside

You broke my heart with crawling black lies

*hyperventilates*
This weekend has been so crazy.
i went to edinburgh on saturday for the G8 march
And made new friends.
Who are so uber kewl!
Andndnandnandnd.
WOW!
Ill tell you about it some other time when i feel capable of it.
But no!
Because i wont remember.
SO
we left at 5!! 5!!!!!!!!!!
In the morning!!!!!!
Anyway
SO yeah.
We were on the coach.
And met these majorly cool peeps.
We got to the site.
At about 10:30
And looooked around.
We found Carey on teh Communist Party of Great Britain stall.
My brother's so kewl.
Yeah.
SO
we did the march.
And it was awesome.
Me: *to rosie* Why am I so fat and you're just not? Hey look! A doughnut factory!
Rosie: ...That's probably why.
THen at like 4
we went to find the coach.
And these fantastic Irish drunk guys stopped us and they were telling us how beautiful we were.
Good god.
That was funny.
Then i twocked a Socialists of Scotland sign out of a hedge.
I was chuffed.
And we went home.
On teh coach.
And discovered that teh kewl people were even kewler than we thought.
:D
Leigh: Johnny, you talk such absolute bollocks!
Johnny: Ah.
    But I talk it well.
    Forever and ever.
    Amen.

Hahaha.
And i did my first day of work exp.
I fell asleep on my mum's desk at lunchtime.
In teh train station on teh way home
I was with Elinor getting my ticket
and we were debating whether i was a child or not
And this student guy walked past on the way from getting his ticket and said
'Well, I'd say you were a lady'
And then disappeared into the crowd
And i was like.
Aawwwww!!!

Poppy: Ahhh, I love you Izzy
Me: You do?
   Even when im drunk and VERY disorderly?
Poppy: The best of times *winks*
Me: Poppy?
Poppy: Oui?
Me: You're such an advantage takerer.

† • She painted on a smile and learnt how to [ a c t ] • †

This be a Mally diary entry...
She loves me...

:::Funday:::
Smoked some Weed at lunch (Tuesday)
with teh izzy.
She was so sweet:
me: *Talking about Stu* Do you still love him?
izzy: Malavika, you're asking me if I still love 
the guy who ripped out my heart and cheated on me with my 
best friend while I was in france for one week and then...
me: Izzy. Do you love him?
izzy: Yes.
me: *hug*
And then later::
Izzy: *holds my hand and runs up to katie* Hi we are stuncked, sunked, stone, stunned...
*pause*
mally and izzy: STONED!




so yeah. things were fun

He spends his nights in Californiaaaaaaaaaa
Watching the staaars on the big screen. 
Then he lies awake and wonders 
Why can't that be meeee? 
Cause in his life he's filled with all these good intentions. 
He's left a lot of things he'd rather not mention 
right now.
But just before he says goodnight,
He looks up with a little smile at me and he says 

If I could be like that 
I'd give anything 
Just to live one day 
[In those shoes.]
If I could be like that, what would I do? 
What would I do?

Now and dreams we run. 

She spends her days up in the north park, 
watching the people as they pass. 
And all she wants is just a little piece of this dream, is that too much to ask? 
With a [safe home], and a warm bed, on a quiet little street. 
All she wants is just that something to hold onto, that's all she needs. 

Yeah!

If I could be like that 
I'd give anything 
Just to live one day 
[In those shoes.]
If I could be like that, what would I do? 
What would I do?

I'm falling into this, in dreams we run away. 

If I could be like that 
I'd give anything 
Just to live one day 
[In those shoes.]
If I could be like that, what would I do? 
What would I do?

If I could be like that 
I'd give anything 
Just to live one day 
[In those shoes.]
If I could be like that, what would I do? 
What would I do?

If I could be like that 
I'd give anything 
Just to live one day 
[In those shoes.]
If I could be like that, what would I do? 
What would I do?

Falling in.
I feel I am falling in to this [ a g a i n ]

Answer all questions with song titles from a certain band...
My Band: James Blunt
1. Are you a male or a female: Beautiful
2. Describe yourself: High
3. How do some people feel about you: Out Of My Mind
4. How do you feel about yourself: No Bravery
5. Describe your family: Tears And Rain
I'll just be eliminating question 6...
7. Describe what you want to be: Wisemen
8. Describe how you live: Cry
9. Describe how you love: Goodbye My Lover
10. Describe what you hate: Billy

Alice: ...Just a calculator and compasses
Me: How pointless
  ...
  HAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
  IT'S LIKE uh
Alice: Poor, Isobel. Poor.


Me: ...There'll just be this giggling in the exam tomorrow
Alice: I'm going to get stoned tomorrow at breakfast
Me: It'll be me thinking abo-What?
Alice: I'll be totally mashed for the exam.

And the beast asked us...
Be you angels?
And we said
Nay.
We are but men.
ROCK!
\m/

I have a serious problem!
I bought 2 beautiful snoopy bras at the weekend.


They don't fit!!
My boobs keep falling out of them!
I'm so sad
=(
Im on the verge of tears.
My boobs are too big!!!!!!
What do I do?!
I [ l o v e ] the snoopy bras!



For chrissakes.

One of them's stripy.

Big Brother!

Day 1 - Harry admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of Poppy. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, Alice is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although Harry later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.

2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. Joe creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. Izzy hits him with a Egg Slicer.

3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of London Tower out of Beefcakes. After much persuasion by Joe, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.

4 - Training for the London Tower task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Harry, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the Beefcakes. Izzy is furious.

5 - Today is the day when the London Tower task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Harry farts and blows London Tower over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. Poppy cries.

6 - Joe gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.

7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, Poppy admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a Egg Slicer. Harry says he never wears condoms because they make his Penis sore and Joe agrees. Alice goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual bastards. Harry sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up Joe.

8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. Harry goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. Izzy and Poppy are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for Harry.

9 - Izzy and Poppy are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. Alice sings them a song - Crazy Frog - to make them feel better.

10 - The public vote Poppy out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. Poppy leaves.

11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with Poppy's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. Alice has to make do without the cucumber she requested. Izzy is visibly depressed and is comforted by Joe, who tries to touch her on her Boobs.

12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of Joe touching Izzy's Boobs over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.

13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Harry refuses to run because his Penis hurts a bit.

14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Harry finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. Izzy calls Harry a lazy Penis.

15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. Harry tells everyone individually that he thinks Izzy is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. Izzy and Joe are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for Harry.

16 - The nominations are announced. Izzy can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. Joe is equally stunned and turns to Izzy for comfort. Harry is distraught and confesses to Alice that he thinks he is in love with Joe. Alice says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know

17 - The public vote Joe out of the house. Izzy says she is gutted and even gives Joe a clipping of hair from her Boobs to prove how much she cares. Harry is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. Joe leaves.

18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of Izzy clipping the hair from her Boobs. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.

19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of Turkey in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.

20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of Turkey sounds like but Harry says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose Harry as the one who must complete the task.

21 - Harry successfully burps not only the National Anthem of Turkey but also God Save The Queen, Crazy Frog and the theme tune to A-Team. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.

22 - Nominations are due and Harry tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Harry and Alice are nominated.

23 - Harry and Alice take their nominations well and sit down with Harry and Izzy to discuss why they voted for them. Harry keeps quiet but Izzy accuses Harry of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred Penis before bursting into tears.

24 - The public vote Alice out of the house and nobody really gives a shit. Alice leaves.

25 - Harry becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of Harry's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.

26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of Panda dung using only a Egg Slicer. Izzy is unsure but Harry is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.

27 - Completely out of the blue, Harry breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the Panda incident from his childhood. Izzy tries to persuade him to stay but Harry sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Harry decides to leave.

28 - With only two housemates remaining, the Panda dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by Izzy from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.

29 - Nominations are due for the final time. Harry asks Izzy to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly Harry nominates Izzy to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does Izzy.

30 - When the nomination is announced, Izzy graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that Harry is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. Harry takes his £70,000 and runs away to Turkey. Nobody, including Izzy, ever sees him again.

     -By Joe Manson