This has been a horrible horrible day.
Me and dearest mamma had a mass bust up.
She said that I don't care that my nana's dead.
I was mortified.

I was upstairs for a while
then I heard Carey and mum shrieking at each other.
I looked out of my room and they were hitting each other
at the top of the stairs.
I was so scared.
I turned my music up as loud as it would go
and I could still hear them yelling.
After a while
I couldnt hear anything.
I turned off the music and I could just hear Carey
crying his heart out.
I swear, i've never seen my big brother so upset.
He was so distressed.
I never wanted to hurt her more than i did then.
Just like she hurt him.

Then she started getting at me again
Nagging, knawing at an invisible bone
Like it was my fault that she'd argued with Carey.
She was so angry, and she took it out on me.
She's so vicious
So selfish
So cruel.

I never want to see her again
Never want to be around her.

I used to think she was just weird
But she's horrible
Really, truly horrible.
She's a nasty woman.

She then accused my Carey of having something wrong with his
head.
That's why they argue, apparently.




I went round to Als afterwards.
Phe was there.
We ate ice cream and watched American Beauty.
=)
I love my friends so much.

Sarah: I need to get your mobile number because my phone deleted them all.
Me: You want my number?
Sarah: No, not really...

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.


I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.


I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.


We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.


I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.


I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.


I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.


I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.


We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.


I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.


I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.


I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.


I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.


I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.


I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.


I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.


I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.


I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.


I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

Well.
Nana's dead.
Now we're just waiting for Grandma to die.

I saw Nana on Wednesday.
She was so small
So thin
So changed.
She was an incredible woman.
Powerful and strong and independent.
She never needed anyone else.
And then the alzheimers hit.
It hurts so bad to see someone you love
Wasting away.
It hurts so bad...

†
R.I.P Jean Davies.
I'll miss you.
I'll never forget you.
I love you
†

Break me with your kisses
Heal me with your hate
Make my shadowed, hurt-filled mind
Into and ever open gate
You can trample all my thoughts to bits
You can feed on all my fears
You can shatter all my dreams
And you can laugh at all my tears
"Break my body, Hold my bones"
Like the pixies said
How about break my soul aswell
And hold my mind instead.

Ok...
Something I didnt tell you.
Lolo's worried about the amount I drink.
And she may be right,
She told me that she understands that im a teenager and i'm going through the whole teenage rebellion thing, but she pointed out the paracetamol thing in December.
What she was saying was that
My liver's weak.
Weaker than most other peoples.
And I'm more likely to die of alcohol poisoning.




Great.

well... i just got a load of ancient photos developed, and i found a load of stuart, i also just found out that my other grandma's dying. so, now i have 2 dying grandmas and a load of photos of my ex boyfriend who refuses to speak to me.






Life's a hobo.

izzy is the greatest
izzy is my favorite now
izzy is da best
izzy is working on her new cd
izzy is also scheduled for many interviews in the uk
izzy is a creature called a whatizit
izzy is not missing in action
izzy is the resident genius and computer nerd
izzy is alive
izzy is mine
izzy is very proud to tell you about her recipe for 'izzy's gourmet diet cat fud' which she submitted to the fat is fun furternity's cookbook
izzy is a happy personality
izzy is at home whether chasing bluewater species like dolphin
izzy is often a featured speaker at industry conferences
izzy is going to drift in the se gom for several days
izzy is happy? is there anything scary in her bedroom?
izzy is a seamless mix of pathos
izzy is a little
izzy is
izzy is in charge of the barn workers
izzy is introduced in the story "cousin izzy"
izzy is so cute when he does his whiz
izzy is prepared to help the "braids girl" by serving her food
izzy is initially set for translational motion
izzy is the best izzy is the best izzy stradlin is the best journalist
izzy is not impressed
izzy is great
izzy is a self professed know
izzy is the creator of both an audiocassette program called
izzy is actually blogging for the first time in a couple of weeks
izzy is suffering any guilt pains over firing ottawa citizen
izzy is one of the famous ?doggin? it
izzy is given a tour by branson
izzy is shown the headline on the newspaper
izzy is making a digital barrier
izzy is wrong about the cards
izzy is crushed under waves of pity and guilt and falseness ? false smiles
izzy is a cherished and very much loved member of our family
izzy is introduced to sam the pickle man
izzy is just a year old
izzy is the only spinone that risky business has bred three times
izzy is interviewed on channel 13 at the february 7 shuttle launch
izzy is a beautiful boxer girl approximately 1 year old
izzy is always there when we need him
izzy is a big fan of high quality art and ice sculptures
izzy is a companion and therapy dog for gail daniels
izzy is sitting at his computer & he just notices a virus running on the internet
izzy is a computer science student at pace university here in new york
izzy is a very odd person
izzy is the computer expert of the group
izzy is the head honch at wide angle humor
izzy is plagued by a vague
izzy is another great character
izzy is happy to provide direct access to all local
izzy is my cat
izzy is the base of the group
izzy is a very well behaved horse
izzy is still with us and is as fiesty as ever
izzy is not a quitter
izzy is on his computer
izzy is not big on touring
izzy is kidnapped by shadowy men looking for the stone and held in a warehouse sort of prison
izzy is a girl out of my first litter
izzy is the grey
izzy is coming with rick richards
izzy is joining a convent
izzy is the founder and past president of an amateur astronomy group in his home area
izzy is vastbesloten om de digitale barrière te gebruiken
izzy is busy decoding the temple's maze
izzy is a deep purple wig shown above in the china doll style
izzy is a 1 year old
izzy is said to be involved in the writing process for the group's upcoming debut album
izzy is the brain and computer whiz of the group
izzy is back on the road again
izzy is a twelve year old black female cat
izzy is in gevaar
izzy is back at school
izzy is sam
izzy is a little comedian
izzy is now focused on the perpetuation of psc teaching surfing to beginners all around the world
izzy is my little miracle kitty
izzy is the computer wiz of the original digidestined
izzy is extremely intelligent









Oh yes.

Forever I'll find you
Forever we'll be
Forever your power and strength
stays with me


FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

*rocks out*

ANYWAY
I'm going to america for 2 weeks on monday.
At 6am.
Just thought I'd tell you.
And gloat.
At the fact that I'm going to New York, Cape Cod and Boston.
*grins*
And you're not
MWAHAHAHAHAHA.

=D

me: i pulled a cute 17 year old
he's so sweet
but i dont know if ill ever see him again
which is quite... sad?
Sara: i have to go get wasted
BYEEEE
oh and good luck
Me: thanks
love you
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Sara: you deserve all the happiness in the world, and if the cute 17 yearold doesnt cross hell and high water to get to you, hes mad

*squeals*
SARA I LOVE YOU!!!

I was at James's last night again.
Wasn't as fun as Friday
But still
Fun.

♀




Fuck





Me









.Whore.

in a brand new pair of brogues
I rattled o'er the bogs
and frightened all the dogs
on the rocky road to Dublin!!!
ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE!!!

*spazzes out*

Hahaha.

*smashes beer bottle on ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE!*

Teh Dropkicks freakin rawk.
And I want to be with James and Jonny and Bobby and Matt
and everybody.
They're so awesome
*sobs*


But teh Dropkicks still rawk.





Thats teh Dropkick Murphys to you weirdos who don't know
what i'm talking about.

RESCUE ME!
AH TAKE ME IN YOUR ARMS
RESCUE ME
I WANT YOUR TENDER CHARMS!
COS I'M LONELY!
AND I'M BLUE!
I NEED YOU
AND YOUR LOVE TOO!
COME ON AND RESCUE MEEEEE!

Oh.
My.
Gawd.
This weekend has been so freakin awesome!
Friday was teh end of school for teh year.
Oh yes.
So the guys and me went to teh cinema to see Madagascar.
Which was piss funny.
Lol.
Then, we got back, and as I was walking through teh park, I found... Teh Malavika!
With Charlotte.
So I was like, hey Mally, wanna go to a party tonight?
So we ring Mally's mum and my mum and we say we're going to Leonies.
And we get stoned in teh park.
Tehn we go to party!
In ilkley!
It was James' party.
James is one of the boys we met on the Edinburgh coach.
He's awesome.
Anyway, we went.
I got drunk, (mally didn't drink. Proud =)).
I got introduced to this guy Bobby.
We all went downstairs after a LOT of awesome singing to awesome songs.
And we watched 'Saw'.
Which was gross.
So I had my head buried in Bobby's leg for most of it
(he was sat on the arm of teh chair)
Then, Mally fell asleep, and some of teh boys, namely Jonny,
decided it would be fun to walk up Ilkley Moor at 3.30 on a saturday morning.
Obviously.
So there was me, 4 lads including Jonny and Bobby, and 2 other girls.
When Jonny said 'Let's walk to the cow and calf!' The 2 girls
turned back.
One was wearing flip flops and the other was wearing spike heels.
So yeah.
We walked to a big rock, sat on it and watched the sunrise.
Awesome.
So then we walked back to James'.
And we saw.. the milkman.
By this time, it was just me Bobby and Jonny.
Bobby saluted the milkman, and I pointed out that it was the
first time
I had ever been up early enough to see the milkman.
Scary.
Yeah.
So, back and James's, me and Bobby had some fun XD
Mally was asleep in the room at that point XDXDXDDDD
Yeah.
Anyway.
Saturday, we went back home, and chilled.
Then Saturday night, I went to Natashas.
We rocked out to moulin rouge and Tash did my nails and we ate
chocolate.
And marshmallows.
And melted chocolate.
And grapes.
Then we went round to some person's house who was having an office party.
We rocked out there for a while with this guy Chris
who is our age.
That was fun.
Then me and Tash went back to hers and she dyed my hair.
Red.
Oh yes.
XD
Then we chilled.
Slept.
Tash gave me a skirt, some trousers and a jacket.
O.o
I went home.
And I'm going to Liz's soon.
ROCK ON!
\m/

izzy: I'm gonna call my kids Lilly and Crush
Mally : *silence* I think they're gonna be incestuous
izzy: *Drops knife* Malavika, you just said my unborn children are going to be incestuous
Mally : Hahaha. No, but I mean, If I was called Lilly and brother was called Crush, i'd want to do him.
izzy : ...I would want to do Lilly.

*mally is eating with just a knife*
izzy: Malavika, you know you can use your fork aswell.
Mally : Oh. Yeah. Thanks
*ten minutes later mally is eating with just a fork*
izzy: Malavika, when I said you can use your fork, I didnt mean don't use your knife.
Mally: *grin* Haha, Ok. Sorry.
*half an hour later mally is eating with her hands*
izzy: Malavika...
Mally: *beams* now im eating with no utensils.
Izzy: You know. I have to say, you're the first person I've ever seen eating tortilla layer by layer.
*pause*
Izzy: You're like a little rodent
Mally : Oh. Gee. Thanks

DONT
STOP
ME NOW!
IM HAVING A GOOD TIME
YES IM HAVING A GOOD TIME
DONT WANNA STOP AT AAAAAAAALL!

OH MY FREAKING GOD I LOVE THIS FREAKING SONG

I GOT FEMALE ARTIST OF THE YEAR!
*dances*

Whoa.
Interesting day.
Actually.
It was fucking awful.
Read on to find out why!

I love my friends to pieces
They’re like
Part of my heart
And he was saying some really nasty stuff to them and about them
And he's like, always saying stuff
And it was really hurting them
As in
They were really upset
Tash was mortified
He was making stuff up about her and cal
And accusing her of being a cheater and everything
When in all fairness, he doesn’t know jack and it's actually none of his business
Anyway
I was angry because he's SO 2 faced, and he's always acting like my best friend then saying how much he hates me behind my back, and saying stuff about all my friends, and he keeps making rumours up, and today, I was angry with him, really angry, because he was having a mass go at Tash, and I was already upset and moody cos I’m feeling like shit (migraine) so I went up behind him and slapped him.
I didn’t slap him hard, at all. If id wanted to hurt him, I would have sent him reeling, but then, he turned round and walloped me in the chest, and that was a BIG shock. It hurt.
A lot.
Mentally and physically.
And he'd said all that stuff about me bitching about the guys, when I would NEVER do anything like that.
So I thought all the guys were angry with me, and it turns out that Martyn thought I walloped him hard round the face and that I was faking the mark on my chest
Which hurt.
And THEN, it turns out SOMEBODY’S reported this, so I reckon I’m gonna get in trouble. Mrs. Armstrong’s already been round for statements etc.
I have to see Mrs. Orton in the morning with Tash.
I’m just gonna have to tell the truth about James.
*sigh*
I didn’t want anything to happen after that.
I wanted it just to get forgotten, like nothing ever happened.

But at least I’ve sorted it out with Marts. Like, I explained everything, and I was like, still friends? And he went ‘Yeah, always will be.’
Sweet or what?
He’s still the same Martyn, deep down. See Mally? There’s still a bit of Martyn left.

So yeah.
Bad day.
I'm also still really ill.
Oh yeah.
I didn't tell you about me illness did I?
I'm really really ill.
Yay!
I couldn't stand up on Monday night.
I was in so much pain.
(Migraine)
Mum wanted to take me to hospital.
Oops.

Love you Enigma.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx