gah i've felt so bad the past couple nites that i've cried myself to sleep ... and last nite ... i was so upset that i slept w/my teddy bear ... :'( ...

"Tomorrow"
-Avril Lavigne

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Ya I try to believe you,
But I don't

When you say that it's gonna be,
It always turns out to be a different way,
I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...

[Chorus:]

I don't know how I'll feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

It's always been up to you,
It's turning around,
It's up to me,
I'm gonna do what I have to do,
just don't


Gimme a little time,
Leave me alone a little while,
Maybe it's not too late,
not today, today, today, today, today...

[Chorus:]

I don't know how I'll feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, and I know I'm not ready,
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, maybe tomorrow

Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, and I know I'm not ready,
Hey yeah yeah, hey yeah yeah, maybe tomorrow

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Yeah I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...

Tomorrow it may change [4x]

"Forgotten"
-Avril Lavigne

Ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah
I'm giving up on everything
Because you messed me up
Don't know how much you
Screwed it up
You never listened
That's just too bad
Because I'm moving on
I won't forget
You were the one that was wrong
I know I need to step up and be strong
Don't patronize me
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

[Chorus:]
Have you forgotten
Everything that I wanted
Do you forget it now
You never got It
Do you get it now
Yea yea yea yea yea
Yea yea yea yea yea
Ah ah ah ah
Ah ah ah ah

Gotta get away
There's no point in thinking about yesterday
It's too late now
It won't ever be the same
We're so different now
Yea yea yea yea yea

[Chorus]

I know I wanna run away
I know I wanna run away
Run away
If only I could run away
If only I could run away
Run away
I told you what i wanted I
I told you what i wanted
What I wanted
But I was forgotten
I won't be forgotten
Never Again

[Chorus (2x)]

Forgotten
Yeah yeah yeah
Forgotten
Yeah yeah yeah
Forgotten
Yeah yeah yeah
Forgotten
Yeah yeah yeah

"Together"
-Avril Lavigne

Something just isn't right
I can feel it inside
The truth isn't far behind me
You can't deny

When I turn the lights out
When I close my eyes
Reality overcomes me
I'm living a lie

When I'm alone I
Feel so much better
And when Im around you
I don't feel

[Chorus:]
Together
It doesn't feel right at all
Together
Together we've built a wall
Together
Holding hands we'll fall
Hands we'll fall

This has gone on so long
I realize that i need
Something good to rely on
Something for me

When I'm alone I
Feel so much better
And when Im around you
I don't feel

[Chorus]

My heart is broken
I'm lying here
My thoughts are choking on you my dear
On you my dear
On you my dear

When I'm alone I
Feel so much better
And when Im around you
I don't feel

[Chorus x2]

When I'm around you
When I'm around you
I don't feel together
I don't feel together
When I'm around you
When I'm around you
I don't feel together
I don't feel together

i NEED my [Dre] :"( ... i need her here w/me .... i miss u sooo much my best friend :"( .... things would be A LOT better if she were here ... :"( .... why did god place us so far apart :"( .... i need my sister w/me .... please send that angel to me ... (the one in cuhnanuhduh :P) down here ... pweez! it would be much appreciated lol .... i miss u soooooo much dre .... if only u were here :( .... i feel so emotionless to the world rite now but yet so hurt by others and everything .... i need u here ... u would understand .... i love u sooo much :( i hope u kno that ....

-i don't kno what to do ... i don't kno what's going on ... i hate all this ... so much for "my happy ending" cuz "nobody's home" so just "take me away" ... ... ...

~*~Avril Lavigne~*~

"My Happy Ending"

So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending

It's nice to know you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending



"Nobody's Home"

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah



"Take Me Away"

I cannot find a way to describe it
It's there inside; all I do is hide
I wish that it would just go away
What would you do, you do, if you knew
What would you do

All the pain I thought I knew
All my thoughts lead back to you
Back to what was never said
Back and forth inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable; come and take me away

I feel like I am all alone
All by myself I need to get around this
My words are cold, I don't want them to hurt you
If I show you, I don't think you'd understand
Cause no one understands

All the pain I thought I knew
All my thoughts lead back to you
Back to what was never said
Back and forth inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable; come and take me away

I'm going nowhere (on and on and)
I'm getting nowhere (on and on and on)
Take me away
I'm going nowhere (on and off and off and on)
(and off and on)

All the pain I thought I knew
All my thoughts lead back to you
Back to what was never said
Back and forth inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable; come and take me away

Take me away
Take me away
Take me away
Take me away

~*~in loving memory of Dane~*~

"Slipped Away"
-Avril Lavigne

I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same

I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't

I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same

I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened, you passed by

Now your gone, now your gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now your gone, now your gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere your not coming back

The day you slipped away
Was the day i found it won't be the same noo..
The say you slipped away
Was the day that i found it won't be the same oooh...

I miss you

one of my dear friends died on april 22nd ... and i didn't find out until this monday the first or somethin like that ... broke my heart an it breaks it even more to kno that we fell out of contact an i never told him how much i cared for him and loved him ... he was such a good friend to me and we went thru good times and bad an still came out friends ... my prayers go out to him and his family as well as ne one else suffering from this terrific loss ... :"( ... come bak dane ... 

this is a song that made me think of him in a way ... somewhat so yea thought i'd put it up ... an everyone ... please be sure to tell ppl how much u care about them every day ... no matter how busy u r or u just don't have the time to talk ... MAKE TIME! i didn't an look where it got me ... i'm sry dane ...

"Angels In Waiting"
-Tammy Cochran

we camped out on the livin room floor
in our old sleepin bags
by a make believe fire
in our tent made of covers
we'd talke for hours
my tow brothers and me
keepin the faith
racin w/destiny

They were angels in waiting
Waiting for wings to fly from this world
Away from their pain
Treasuring time
'Til time came to leave
Leaving behind
Sweet memories
Angels in waiting
Angels in waiting for wings

they always knew
they'd never grow old
somtimes the body is weaker than the soul
in their darkest hour
i made a pronise
i will always keep
i'll give them life
i'll let them live thru me

They were angels in waiting
Waiting for wings to fly from this world
Away from their pain
Treasuring time
'Til time came to leave
Leaving behind
Sweet memories
Angels in waiting
Angels in waiting for wings

*cries* dane truly was an angel in waiting ...

TATU LYRICS

"How Soon Is Now?"

I am the son and the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

I am the son and the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
Of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

There's a club if you'd like to go you
Could meet somebody who really loves you
So you go, and you stand on your own and
You leave on your own and you go home,
And you cry and you want to die.

When you say it's gonna happen "now",
When exactly do you mean? see I've already
Waited too long and all my hope is gone

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does



"30 Minutes"

Mama, Papa
Forgive me

Out of sight
Out of mind
Out of time
To decide

Do we run?
Should I hide?
For the rest
Of my life

Can we fly?
Do I stay?
We could lose
We could fail

In the moment
It takes
To make plans
Or mistakes

30 minutes, a blink of an eye
30 minutes,to alter our lives
30 minutes,to make up my mind
30 minutes,to finally decide

30 minutes,to whisper your name
30 minutes,to shoulder the blame
30 minutes,of bliss, thirty lies
30 minutes,to finally decide

Carousels
In the sky
That we shape
With our eyes

Under shade
Silhouettes
Casting shade
Crying rain

Can we fly?
Do I stay?
We could lose
We could fail

Either way
Options change
Chances fail
Trains derail

30 minutes, a blink of an eye
30 minutes,to alter our lives
30 minutes,to make up my mind
30 minutes,to finally decide

30 minutes,to whisper your name
30 minutes,to shoulder the blame
30 minutes,of bliss, thirty lies
30 minutes,to finally decide

To decide
To decide, to decide, to decide

To decide
To decide, to decide, to decide

To decide

had a real bad dream this morning about my ex-b/f an a girl (yes a specific one but i'm not going to say which one) ... woke up gasping for air ... and for the next thirty minutes i was having trouble breathing ... but the odd thing is ... i went to bed thinking about a past b/f ... before this one ... kinda scary ... couldn't go back to sleep ... didn't want to in a way ... didn't want to wake up like that again ... ever ... ... ...

"So Yesterday"
-Hilary Duff

You can change your life - if you wanna
You can change your clothes - if you wanna
If you change your mind
Well, that's the way it goes

But I'm gonna keep your jeans
And your old black hat - cause I wanna
They look good on me
You're never gonna get them back

At least not today, not today, not today
'cause

If it's over, let it go and
Come tomorrow it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
I'm just a bird that's already flown away

Laugh it off let it go and
When you wake up it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay

You can say you're bored - if you wanna
You can act real tough - if you wanna
You can say you're torn
But I've heard enough

Thank you... you made my mind up for me
When you started to ignore me
Do you see a single tear
It isn't gonna happen here
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause

If it's over, let it go and
Come tomorrow it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
I'm just a bird that's already flown away

Laugh it off let it go and
When you wake up it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay

If you're over me, I'm already over you
If it's all been done, what is left to do
How can you hang up if the line is dead
If you wanna walk, I'm a step ahead
If you're moving on, I'm already gone
If the light is off then it isn't on
At least not today, not today, not today
'cause

If it's over, let it go and
Come tomorrow it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
I'm just a bird that's already flown away

Laugh it off let it go and
When you wake up it will seem
So yesterday, so yesterday
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay

AVRIL LAVIGNE LYRICS

"Don't Tell Me"

You held my hand and walked me home I know
While you gave me that kiss it was something like this it made me go ooh ohh
You wiped my tears, got rid of all my fears, why did you have to go?
Guess it wasn't enough to take up some of my love
Guys are so hard to trust
Did I not tell you that I'm not like that girl?
The one who gives it all away

[Chorus:]
Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you, this time?
Did you think that it was somethin I was gonna do and cry?
Don't try to tell me what to do,
Dont try to tell me what to say,
Your better off that way

Don't think that your charm and the fact that your arm is now around my neck
Will get you in my pants I'll have to kick your ass and make you never forget
I'm gonna ask you to stop, thought I liked you a lot, but I'm really upset
Get out of my head get off of my bed yeah thats what I said
Did I not tell you that I'm not like that girl, the one who, throws it all away

[Chorus]
Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you, this time?
Did you think that it was somethin I was gonna do and cry?
Don't try to tell me what to do,
Dont try to tell me what to say,
Your better off that way

This guilt trip that you put me on won't, mess me up I've done no wrong
Any thoughts of you and me have gone away

[Chorus]
Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you, this time?
Did you think that it was somethin I was gonna do and cry?
Don't try to tell me what to do,
Dont try to tell me what to say,
Your better off that way

Better off that way
I'm better off alone anyway


"Losing Grip"
Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you
Why'd you turn away?
Here's what I have to say I was left to cry there,
waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare
That's when I decided
[chorus]
Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
You, you need to listen I'm starting to trip,
I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone

Am I just some chick you place beside you to take somebody's place
when you turn around can you recognize my face you used to love me,
you used to hug me
But that wasn't the case
Everything wasn't ok I was left to cry there
waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare
That's when I decided

[chorus]

Crying out loud I'm crying out loud
Crying out loud I'm crying out loud

Open your eyes
Open up wide
Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there
when I was scared I was so alone Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
Why should I care
If you don't care then I don't care were not going newhere
Why should I care cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
Why should I care If you don't care then i don't care were not going newhere

ME AND ANDREANE'S SONG! YAY! *PINKY PROMISE*
-I LOVE U MORE THAN I CAN DESCRIBE ANDREANE ... U'R LIKE A SISTER TO ME AND MORE ... MY BEST FRIEND ... THE BEST I'VE EVER HAD AND EVER WILL ... PROMISE ME THAT WE'LL STAY IN CONTACT TILL WE'RE OLD ENUFF (AN RICH ENUFF :P) TO MEET UP? PWEEZ :( LOL .... I LOVE U SO MUCH GIRL ... MY TWIN :)
-ps-ur' the beautiful one!

Sense Field
Save Yourself

Turn out the light
Just say goodnight, to yourself
May I remind you
When you find you, you're all alone is when you've got to be strong
Cause that's when they call you, in the night
He's got your picture in his mind
He's got your number on a paper at his disposal anytime

Is it really true
Could you save yourself for someone who, loves you for you
So many times we just give it away, to someone who
Someone who you
Met in bar
The back of a car
And for a moment you felt important but not in your heart
My self esteem, it's been low, go ahead and count it's been lower than low
I know the feeling of it stealing life out from under me
I want to learn, how you save yourself for someone who, loves you for you
So many times we just give it away to someone who, couldn't even remember your name
Could you save yourself for someone who, loves you for you, loves me for me
Give it away to someone who someone who will cherish your name

Cause I want to learn, can you save yourself for
Someone who will love you for you so many times we
Just give it away, someone who, couldn't even remember your name
You save yourself for someone who, loves you for you,
Loves me for me
Give it away to someone who, someone who will
Cherish your name
Cherish your name

today was the first day of work :D yay lol :P my feet have never hurt this bad :( meh ... ouch ... was on them 11-8 ... that's 9 hrs! ugh ... they hurt so bad :(

what do u do when u find out that all u've ever known w/this one person was a lie and has been a lie and continues to be A LIE ? hmm? what do ya do? good question ... i s'pose just let them get on w/their lives cuz u dont need all that ... u deserve better ... much better ...

someone asked me to prom today! yay :P he's a really awesome guy ... christian and hilarious :P hehe ... i think he is acting like it's a real hardcore date ... i was kinda just thinking as in friends ... he was tryin to show me off to his friends ... :S lil uncomfortable when i heard that but eh ... it's cute to be crushed on :P hehe ... i want to get a new dress tho! grrr ... but mom won't let me ! psh ! i got a job ... i'm savin up! gah! lol they suck :P i want a black and white dress :D ... yay ... i'm so excited about prom ... :)

"Through The Rain"
-Mariah Carey

When you get caught in the rain with no where to run
When you're distraught and in pain without anyone
When you keep crying out to be saved but nobody comes
And you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's okay, what you say is
I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain
And if it keeps falling down don't you dare give in
You will arrive safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail
What you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

And when the wind blows, as shadows grow close don't be afraid
There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you you'll never pull through
Don't hesitate, stand tall and say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

I can make it through the rain
And stand up once again
And I live one more day and night
I can make it through the rain
(Yes you can)
You will make it through the rain

i'm so excited about this wkend! i'm playin in a tennis tourniment ... an there's gonna be a buncha cute guys there ... including this one that i kno! ahh lol ... he's 17 i think ... a real cutie ... really blonde ... tall ... an like number one in the state! ahh yay ... tennis players r so cute ... well some of them lol ...

i also got a job! yea!

"You’ll See"
-Madonna

You think that I can’t live without your love
You’ll see,
You think I can’t go on another day.
You think I have nothing
Without you by my side,
You’ll see
Somehow, some way

You think that I can never laugh again
You’ll see,
You think that you destroyed my faith in love.
You think after all you’ve done
I’ll never find my way back home,
You’ll see
Somehow, someday

All by myself
I don’t need anyone at all
I know I’ll survive
I know I’ll stay alive,
All on my own
I don’t need anyone this time
It will be mine
No one can take it from me
You’ll see

You think that you are strong, but you are weak
You’ll see,
It takes more strength to cry, admit defeat.
I have truth on my side,
You only have deceit
You’ll see, somehow, someday

All by myself
I don’t need anyone at all
I know I’ll survive
I know I’ll stay alive,
I’ll stand on my own
I won’t need anyone this time
It will be mine
No one can take it from me
You’ll see

You’ll see, you’ll see
You’ll see, mmmm, mmmm

i've had my better days ... much better :S ...

*it only hurts when i'm breathing
*my heart only breaks when it's beating
*my dreams only die when i'm dreaming
*so i will hold my breath ... to forget ...