GAH i heard maybe art classes are gunna be stopped at my school!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOO, NOT ART!! Facik, even drama can go away, but art?! Why not Gym?! lol! i mean.. art is my only real talent, and theyre jus gunna take it away because low budget?! lol. it feels like the simpsons.

Im ready to go on strike about that, seriously. Im sure there can be a strike, since so many ppl are against it! *picks up signs and makes shirts to hand out to ppl in stores* LOL. we cant really walk down the streets and hand it to ppl, since like three ppl walk around after school. lol.

Wellll its like nine thirty and i have to go to a golf course for gym in like ten minutes..wee heee ....>> well i duno if we're gunna go since its snowing like erm.. well i cant really say HELL....><...

MEH my big fish is dead. i had one small black moor and one big one.. i THINK the big one is dead. he was so cute too...-_______-* he always watched me with his creepy big eyes when i walked towards him...xD ...awww now i feel bad! *cries*

MEH! I think im gunna keep complainin until next class starts >>; i swear i hear ppl talkin from my class i have now..aahh theyre near! im gunna get caught -- meh who cares? My nose got elbowed in i dun remember how..and not it wont stop botherin me. its all stuffy n shit and it kinda hurts..but its not broken since my eyes arent black...GAAAAAH ><;'';;';''*';';***

wow i feel happy ish today. some ppl can be so nice, and it jus makes life a little more better, dont it, imaginary internet land ppl? ^^ hehe. i mean sure some ppl are jus fake and not really nice, but who cares? its still nice...*floats happily on some random cloud* number nine....heheheheeeeeeeee...>>;

Hm I wonder why nobody has voted for Kyo-sama in my poll...lol. welp, i got my fishies for my b-day, wheee!! and a dvd from boyfriend *heheheheeeee CHLOE!* and two shirts...so far oO

the fish i got are so tarded...they like crash into eachother and cant even swim to the top of the water! OMG lol. i feel kinda cruddy today. im so confused hard core about lotsa things agian...meh! well...stupid classes....stupid ppl....

OMG another guy i iknow is like every other guy oO OGLA's boyfriend isnt bothering with her anymore cuz she fucked him, he met her friends and is running around the place with them...that SUCKS. what an ass!!!

meh.. well i've decided i want to go partial goth. seeing this one chicks pants (that were super cool!!) made me want to do that xD!! yes. if anyone asks, it was some random chicks pants influence!

people are stupid fucks! ^^

Wow its five in the morning and i should just stay awake..its really hard though.. blah.. I was asked to go out tomorrow but i dont think i will. i dont want to jus go there and see something else that'll prolly piss me off. i dont see why he keeps wanting to stay with me..or maybe he jus thinks he cant get any better...meh. 

BLACK MOOR FISH!!! im gunna get my fish, i know it!! Koi got the tank (bless 'im) and i dont know how to pay him back..hm. but sadly, we're on our third fighter fish betta thingy. first it was a dark blue one, then a red one, then now its a silvery blue one.. they arent lasting long... i wonder why.. i really ralllyyy do oO;;;;;;

Im scared. i got a 65 in a biology test (which is better than the 48 i got before..) and im freakin out. i HAVE to do good in that class .. i just HAVE TO. i even gave my number to my lab partner just in case i dont see him online to send him some pics to print...hahahaa! (ok 25 marks are THAT important! ><) 

I can go on talkin for hours riite now. i need to splurge to something...well i;d rather talk on here to imaginary ppl. hey how are ya all doin? oO; Planet Ladder looks like a neat manga.. its weird, the story sorta (barely) reminds me of my stories, and i jus read the plot like a week ago! *screams* theres the part with the gurl not remembering anything past a younger age, and then the part with the world transportage in my other story...hmm.. thats about it. and one of the characters is jus like one i have oO aahh! i wonder how long i can make this diary entry...hmm...*ponders* i wish i wasnt really so lazy. i'll never finish my story that way oO i need to change some things around...but maybe i'll jus wait until summer. i always do that stuff during the summer, since theres usually NOTHING TO DO!! (unless i make lots of friends in like, a month and a half...lol!) i used to go out lots. its jus not the same as the first year of high school where everyone thinks ur cool and wants to be your friend...then theres really nothing to do and you cant go out much so there's really nothing there...BLAH! oh well...college...just wait for college...yes... well...then again i'd have to pass math 30pure (smartest math x.x) so get into a good art school...dont that suck? thats probably for all the liney ruler drawings we'll have to make... well... if i go to that one in calgary.. i can stay with colin or ashley..(non elftowners) woohoo! edmonton is just too far away...blarg.

Feh. for some reason im kinda happy today. i realized i have some sort of talent in drawing in paint n shit...xD!! i was drawing some pics for biology, and these ppl were asking me where i found the pictures...hahaha! and they're so cruddy and funny lookin!! oO;

but yesh, i am tired and gunna sleep...prolly FOR EVER mua ha ha haa...days of our lives is pissin me off soo much, stupid soap opera...bluh.

hmm.. another partially cruddy mood riite now. im tired of tha same old shit time in time out.. i need a change, i really do >< oh well, i cant change that stuff. i should jus focus on school, thats the only thing going for me right now....

I hate how things are going right now. I cant trust anyone, since they just lie to me anyways. keeping secrets.... lying...taking me for granted...life is depressing -_-

NOTHING SOLD! WAAHH! no money.

AAAUUGGHH i hope i sell my three pics that im trying to sell at tomorrow's art show....>< !! im selling my best for 160, jus because it got lotsa recognition and stuff (preps SWARMED around me! aahh!) im excited. my frog pic, a little less impressive, im sellin for 130. and then a smaller one for llike.. 75 bucks. i dunno, it seems kinda high, i hope i get SOME MONEY!! ><!

Today i feel weird. I took two tylenol three pills from a chicky and i got tired...then hyper...then inbetween for the rest of the day... i mean.. not even inbetween..jus floatin there i dunno whats happening in my head ><!!! and then ppl are being snooty...BLAH. it makes me feel moderately bad since i want to be nice to everyone, but they (preps!!!!!!) make it HARDER!

WHEEEEE im all happy now for some reason...xD! in bio we were dissecting the fetal pig...EWIES...its eyes werent even opened oO i pulled them open and they were white...ewies..xD! anyways, yes... i thought i was gonna get sick and leave, but my partner (who was all high and mighty saying it would be FIIIINE) left sick!! haahhaah!!! funny stuff. he came back..but he looked kinda green i swear. lol.

i feel sick. too much stress, even tho thats what i was trying to AVOID with the breakup and all that...><

Diaries are fun oO well.. im kinda confused riite now. i dunno why. actually i do.. i hate being confused. BLAH. POOOOOOPY. anywho....... my basement smelled like cat piss, and i found out my old man cat is pissin on shoes...EW! not so fun. and today i had a super mushy experience oO im not sure what to think. kevin was pissed and kinda evil-creepy-depressed from his whole fucked week (im not sure what was all fucked though) and he said he was leaving at the end of the year for sure (though i found out his mom didnt really mean it) and all that.. so it dug at me and bothered me.. i dunno. he really didnt need me to be bitchy at him along with all the other things (that i dont know, lol) thats going on. and THEN theres the jokin about uhm.. his guy friend doing things to him...i mean when ppl mean it but try to sound like they lie they stutter and laugh a lot..oh well >>; ... LMAO, it scares me, lets jus say that. the end!

UGH, thats all i can say about now. 

Why do ppl make their lives sound SOOO bad, when they really want to be mad? Why do people pine for things they can never have? Because we want to... humans are so complex, but so simple minded, I don't know where I'm going with this, but I'm beginning to pack my things..if only I had a place to go...Where could I go? If only I had an adress, a destination...well, that's my life in short.. nothing is so sure, planned and happening, nothing is perfect...but who's to say anyone else is different? Having problems is one thing that keeps life changing all the time, having pain and spewing blood can only make a psycho's mouth water...or is it only the psycho?

*massages head* calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean....ARASHI!!!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! she has a sword....GAHHHHH >>; i want a sword. not really. i wish ppl in the real world had magic powers.. yes...radio active man to the rescue! uhm anywho...yes.... >> i LOVE how i did my nails.. i wish i could take a pic of them they so FAIYN!! *watches x/1999, tried to keep calmness*

GAH for breakin off with a boyfriend who sez i shouldnt dwell on him he sure keeps bringing stuff up oO..... welp, i have to think of some art stuff to do to sell.. and i need some ideas...BLAH. i think i like this one person in my class cuz i want to draw the person o_O yes people thats how i see things!! PIECES OF FRIGGIN ART! if only i had the courage to ask o_O no, not to fuck them or "go for them" and some certain ppl have said...ugh. they have no clue who this person is (well except a few non-elftowners! hahahahahaaa >>) or how i feel *tears*

downloading x/1999 anime is fun, imaginary person, and i really recommend you watch it out there in imaginary land. do imaginary landeers have kazaa? lol. arashi is my new hero because she (dont read this any non x completists! lol) kills herself because the one she loved was dead...well thats what i read o_O; it makes me feel bad, but hey, i bet i'd do the same thing.

welp, i came back from moosejaw. yes i went to visit me old friends and it was fun. i wish i didnt have to leave. everyone where i live dont give a shit anyways. i have nowhere to go, i have no friends, and im taking a break from THE relationship. gasp. yeah, i realized that boyfriend said he loved me because he jus wanted me to stay with him. he hates rejection and all that shtuff. we;re young, we dont know what love is unless you'd do anything, like ANYTHING for the person, like not pressuring someone or something like that. i dont know who i am talkin to riite now, but love isnt something to toy with oO;

Yaaaay i got Noir dvd number five today! i should watch it and get my mind off stuff and things like yeah things. im bored. yes. and my sis is talking to some weird guy that i swear wants to stalk her o_o oh well. LOL. hes such a flirt...well practically every guy on my msn flirts O_o except the ones that arent super desperate..*SIGH* argh, i hate people. why are they the way they are?! why do they do things the way they do?!?!??! why can't i be something else?! i dont wanna be a human anymore.. i wanna be ...erm.. a...uh.. cat..naw thats not fun. well i wish i could go on a vacation and think thing through about ...everything! sure im 16 im stupid and just bored.. but that dont mean i dont need to get away. school is dull most of the time, home is alriite, and i go out sometimes, but thats not enough.. i want A LIFE!