ow my arm hurts..xD wow man we had some 12 minute run in gym and im kinda tired.. even more tired than everyone else who ran more than me prolly....xD ahhahaaa.....stupid arm.. why do i hate my arm? *bites it* there all better. im bored. what is there to do? i dont feel like reading my book about lesbians (for english; fried green tomatoes) cuz this one chick sends her "SON" to a slutty woman to make him feel better about his./...erm...closeness with women..EWWWWW!! and the woman is like.. forty! EWWW!! ><'

hum. for some reason i feel happy today...xD...schmeh. i guess its cuz im gettin along with boyfriend and gots me some friends n all that...its all good ^^

it sucks so bad that school is almost over in like.. two weeks!!!!!! bio is almost done! i mean..school is almost done! ><' yah..meh. I just hope i have some classes with ppl i know *sigh*

wow im in "spare" which is also known as free class cuz im done all my "modules" in foods...yes.."in foods"...kiddin. im bored i lost my glasses and im tired. whine whine whine. anywho, i wish we could have more than one poll running at a time..or can we?? someone let me know ok? lol. i wanna see how many left handed people are good at either math, art, drama or music. it said in my psychology class that lefties are better in those things..*ponders*

damnit i keep getting bumps on my fingers from my rings.. i always get that in the summer...SIGH anywho, i got some bio homework to do...wheeeeee

HOLY CRAP how did i know this, but the one who won that american "Swan pageant" thing was the rachel gurl. weird! o_o and then i had a dream that i liked my moms eye shadow that was blue n shit, and then when i woke up and saw my mom she had her makeup like that and... GAH weird. so does this mean that im gonna tell some person in bio to beat this one stupid chick with a stick? LMAO.

shmeh, went to bbq today and it was...okay...>>*... I still feel kinda shitty and i dunno why. i guess its really where i live...*sigh* meehhhhh... something dont feel right. maybe it's jus me... i have a weird feeling goin on inside my head. i hate when that happens - something always happens then...blarg.

well what can i say now. i went to calgary with boyfriend, sister and friend and ended up worse off then before. boyfriend and i avoided eachother the whoole time in the mall cuz he was being a jerk and i was being a bitch so i just pretended he wasnt there. then he got all depressed and all that and while i was half asleep we "made up" sort of. Im really losing connection with this guy, and i dunno why. im not made to be happy i guess.....well happy this way...and he should really learn not to be so affected by me being pissed off at him...its not like im the most important thing in the world so FACKIN DEAL WIT IT i wanna say. but i still love him. so it really hurts right now. im a fucking bitch to him and half the time he dont deserve it and half the time he does. guh. i just wish i could go away for a real long time...

well today was like every other day of the rest of the week o_o oh well. im being really "cruel and mean" to my boyfriend or suthin o_o i jus bug him about the dirty things everyone has and stuff ....xD .. and he jus lets me say it. he really should realize im sayin it so he learns to talk back and not be a pin cushion all his life but *SHRUG* meh!

I cant believe that this year is almost over.. i wonder who will be in my classes next year *sighs....* ITS A FELONY TO TEASE THE ORDER BOX!!!!!!!!

Gah, ok i tried to be nice to everyone today and jus get talked to like im an idiot. yup.. im sick of this, i really am close to the edge... i mean, everyone forgets what i say half the time, so im obviously not that important. *sigh* im not saying this for some pathetic pity, im jus spillin my guts... well i had a dream that i slit my wrists in school...and hey it sounds like a good idea but i wont bother, since my sis says she needs me and all that.. i dunno WHY she sez that when im not even that great of a sister. Im jus not happy anymore with anything.. and i dunno how to fix it...*sigh again*

WHY movies with a black main character always usually have mostly an all black cast?!?! or the other way around?! GAH! so when theres mostly white ppl, the "bruddah" always dies first! *frekks* gah.

GAH well one of my friends is all poo-ish cuz SHE CUTS HERSELF for ppl to see, and her parents are apparently yelling at her about it and all that. i know, im not the only one with problems, but its hard to help when she wont even stop to listen to my own problems...SIGH. feh.

WELP i STILL feel like shit and i dunno why. i cant fix it.. damnit.. nothing can fix me cuz im not broken. i should jus keep my gaze on the ground and ignore everything around me for a while. i dont really matter..SIGH why am i puttin this here? well i guess typing it out, even to nobody still helps.

I dont know why but i dont feel anything anymore. I just want to leave this planet, i want to leave everyone behind...but now isnt the right time. I cant even be a decent friend or anything, i have to pretend to be happy.. i really wish i could just wipe myself of the face of the earth. i cant even be friendly to people around me that i dont know because i feel like some sort of beast. maybe thats why i dont have many friends where i live now... I have to stop hating myself before i stop hating other ppl...but its fuckin hard. i dont feel like livin anymore but thats so stupid.... why am i so stupid...>>* ?!

Wellllp Im reading this weird web comic manga thingy, and its SOO funny! its about gay guys, (not very cool ...ew...lol) but its hilarious!! :D!! hahaa!

but... i feel kinda cruddy still..nothing will fix it either x.x; teh only thing left for me to do is drain some and let my fuzzy vision lead me to a nice sleep for another night...

I feel kinda shitty today. Its so hard for me to make friends as is, but now its even worse....gah...><.... and now im gettin kinda bothered, thinkin about the boyfriend situation again. Jus thinking about things he said when i broke up with him -- "we didnt even last longer than you and Will" -- gah. ok sure its over and done with but still. then when we joke around at lunch and i say he called me fat and ppl pretend to rat him out hes like "you guys always take HER side" ....blarg. I just wish that for one whole solid week i could be happy jus once...sure its selfish but being miserable really really sucks.

GAH i heard maybe art classes are gunna be stopped at my school!!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOO, NOT ART!! Facik, even drama can go away, but art?! Why not Gym?! lol! i mean.. art is my only real talent, and theyre jus gunna take it away because low budget?! lol. it feels like the simpsons.

Im ready to go on strike about that, seriously. Im sure there can be a strike, since so many ppl are against it! *picks up signs and makes shirts to hand out to ppl in stores* LOL. we cant really walk down the streets and hand it to ppl, since like three ppl walk around after school. lol.

Wellll its like nine thirty and i have to go to a golf course for gym in like ten minutes..wee heee ....>> well i duno if we're gunna go since its snowing like erm.. well i cant really say HELL....><...

MEH my big fish is dead. i had one small black moor and one big one.. i THINK the big one is dead. he was so cute too...-_______-* he always watched me with his creepy big eyes when i walked towards him...xD ...awww now i feel bad! *cries*

MEH! I think im gunna keep complainin until next class starts >>; i swear i hear ppl talkin from my class i have now..aahh theyre near! im gunna get caught -- meh who cares? My nose got elbowed in i dun remember how..and not it wont stop botherin me. its all stuffy n shit and it kinda hurts..but its not broken since my eyes arent black...GAAAAAH ><;'';;';''*';';***

wow i feel happy ish today. some ppl can be so nice, and it jus makes life a little more better, dont it, imaginary internet land ppl? ^^ hehe. i mean sure some ppl are jus fake and not really nice, but who cares? its still nice...*floats happily on some random cloud* number nine....heheheheeeeeeeee...>>;

Hm I wonder why nobody has voted for Kyo-sama in my poll...lol. welp, i got my fishies for my b-day, wheee!! and a dvd from boyfriend *heheheheeeee CHLOE!* and two shirts...so far oO

the fish i got are so tarded...they like crash into eachother and cant even swim to the top of the water! OMG lol. i feel kinda cruddy today. im so confused hard core about lotsa things agian...meh! well...stupid classes....stupid ppl....

OMG another guy i iknow is like every other guy oO OGLA's boyfriend isnt bothering with her anymore cuz she fucked him, he met her friends and is running around the place with them...that SUCKS. what an ass!!!

meh.. well i've decided i want to go partial goth. seeing this one chicks pants (that were super cool!!) made me want to do that xD!! yes. if anyone asks, it was some random chicks pants influence!

people are stupid fucks! ^^

Wow its five in the morning and i should just stay awake..its really hard though.. blah.. I was asked to go out tomorrow but i dont think i will. i dont want to jus go there and see something else that'll prolly piss me off. i dont see why he keeps wanting to stay with me..or maybe he jus thinks he cant get any better...meh. 

BLACK MOOR FISH!!! im gunna get my fish, i know it!! Koi got the tank (bless 'im) and i dont know how to pay him back..hm. but sadly, we're on our third fighter fish betta thingy. first it was a dark blue one, then a red one, then now its a silvery blue one.. they arent lasting long... i wonder why.. i really ralllyyy do oO;;;;;;

Im scared. i got a 65 in a biology test (which is better than the 48 i got before..) and im freakin out. i HAVE to do good in that class .. i just HAVE TO. i even gave my number to my lab partner just in case i dont see him online to send him some pics to print...hahahaa! (ok 25 marks are THAT important! ><) 

I can go on talkin for hours riite now. i need to splurge to something...well i;d rather talk on here to imaginary ppl. hey how are ya all doin? oO; Planet Ladder looks like a neat manga.. its weird, the story sorta (barely) reminds me of my stories, and i jus read the plot like a week ago! *screams* theres the part with the gurl not remembering anything past a younger age, and then the part with the world transportage in my other story...hmm.. thats about it. and one of the characters is jus like one i have oO aahh! i wonder how long i can make this diary entry...hmm...*ponders* i wish i wasnt really so lazy. i'll never finish my story that way oO i need to change some things around...but maybe i'll jus wait until summer. i always do that stuff during the summer, since theres usually NOTHING TO DO!! (unless i make lots of friends in like, a month and a half...lol!) i used to go out lots. its jus not the same as the first year of high school where everyone thinks ur cool and wants to be your friend...then theres really nothing to do and you cant go out much so there's really nothing there...BLAH! oh well...college...just wait for college...yes... well...then again i'd have to pass math 30pure (smartest math x.x) so get into a good art school...dont that suck? thats probably for all the liney ruler drawings we'll have to make... well... if i go to that one in calgary.. i can stay with colin or ashley..(non elftowners) woohoo! edmonton is just too far away...blarg.