I'm just going to let everyone know I'm really close to the edge...and I'm sure one more hit and I'll be gone... so if I'm not online for like a month, I'm dead... it was nice meeting you all, if anything is to happen, I'll just say it now..

I feel shitty now. i was checking up on someone and got something totally different. oh well. i guess i shouldnt put my trust in anyone. what am i saying? i DONT! i shouldnt be so hurt. im not whining for comments, its good to blerb on here. I cant trust anyone anymore. never again. i try and try and just have it blown up in my face. all my friends keep things from me, so they arent really friends!! only some of em are really awesome.. but still. i cant trust my boyfriend either. hes really seeming...FAKE lately. it doesnt help he ignores things i say, nobody listens to me really. im too annoying and lookin for pity apparently. i whine too too much. im a bitch. i bad talk everyone behind their back. I want everything to go my way. I think im "all that". well if i did.. would i try to kill myself, or sit at the edge of my bed, holding the knife at my wrist, wondering WHY i shouldnt do it? well, im sorry whoever thinks this, but youre wrong. i dont know how ppl see me, its kinda hard when im the one whos talkin. I cant see how you assume i am, but really, i do care. i cant show it. i cant even show my true emotions without beinh scolded or judged. everyone goes throught that. they all have fears of having their outer layer pulled away to expose the beast they are. well sorry folks, people may assume what beast i am underneath, but not one person has it right. in other words, im going to sleep all day tomorrow due to blood loss.. jk >>

I feel lonely x.x'' ugh, now my friend lost his internet.. im gunna have to call him *dies* waah! stupid soap operas are sooo stupid! especially days of our lives. ...its SO dumb.... like all these ppl are supposed to be dead, but for some reason theyre on an island....oO....MEEP! anyways.. i feel lonely.. i wonder if my boyfriend even misses me o_O i said i'd miss him and he didnt say anything back BLAH! oh well. *falls over* i need a feckin job. im gunna go draw...*sigh*

another quote...xD....I LOVE YOU, AND I MEAN IT FROM THE BOTTOM OF THIS POORY PAINTED DUCK!

OMG.....joke of the.. whatever event this is (xD) whats a way to get a man to do sit ups???

.................................put the remote between his toes! ......hahaha whatever show i got that from is pretty lame, ne??

geeze, cats are STUPID. i just put my evil, possessed evil retarded cat in a HUGE fish tank and she ran into the glass o_O and shes like.. six years old!! GAH! stupid cats. i wish i was a dog so i could stick my head out a car window drivin down the street..xD!

what teh crap?! this is messed! i wonder why elftown isnt working oO i wonder what would happen if i was to send a message...kikikikikiiiii! ^^ i might get a job at a clothes store! AUGH~ then i'll see preps all the time! *dies*

today was kinda weird.. okay well my mark in bio went down to 68 from 70! UGH!! i didnt wanna break that stupid grade!! AHHH!! if only i knew what a niche was...*sighs* anyways.. yeah i cried over it x.x' and then for some reason this one guy in my class forgot my name today o____O OUCH!! i knew this guy for like half a semester *falls over* GAH!

I feel...angsty kinda...blah. >>' I just feel like.... nobody really cares in school if im there or not..well except my boyfriend who came to the school even tho he had no umm final....but friendwise i really need some more. i have many but i still feel like something is missing...............it must be the pain i always have to have....the hunger for blood....okay maybe not...or maybe?

meh. i feel kinda.. bland today. i dunno...watchin mad tv...*slight gasps*

i feel kinda happy. but still a little edgy... and kinda sad.. last day of my double bio class..xD! OMG okay i sound obsessed but gettin a smile from some people is a good feeling.. ^^''' MEH I DUN CARE im not obsessed so there...yes like.. maybe one or two ppl even have the slightest idea what the crap im talkin about.. LOL

my binder is broken and it makes me sad..yes thats it..hahahha xD anywho, we're going canoeing! i think i told like five ppl on here already but thats ok >>' lol., saw shrek II last night, its seeewwwwww funny!! i love parodies so yeah (see excel saga anime LMAO) but yeh, the giant ginger bread man is my hero ^^''''''

GAH! for such a small town there was a pretty big line up for shrek II o_O its the first time that it was sold out!!! O_O''' weirdness. that giant green guy and the loud mouth donkey have hit it large! okay yes.. im a journalist now...xD.....hm i wonder how i can read 160 pages in one hour...LOOL... and then its gonna rain for like a week so i dont even know if we'll go canoeing! AUUGHHH! (my new scream saying lol)

wow man. im so pissed off today i dunno why. *sigh* well once again some ppl dont get how i word things. i was asked "how did u get that cut?" and i replied "i fell....*shifts eyes* " dont that give u a hint of sarcasm?! oh well. i dont really like tellin anyone aobut that but my sis so i guess thats a good thing he didnt get it...sigh.

ow my arm hurts..xD wow man we had some 12 minute run in gym and im kinda tired.. even more tired than everyone else who ran more than me prolly....xD ahhahaaa.....stupid arm.. why do i hate my arm? *bites it* there all better. im bored. what is there to do? i dont feel like reading my book about lesbians (for english; fried green tomatoes) cuz this one chick sends her "SON" to a slutty woman to make him feel better about his./...erm...closeness with women..EWWWWW!! and the woman is like.. forty! EWWW!! ><'

hum. for some reason i feel happy today...xD...schmeh. i guess its cuz im gettin along with boyfriend and gots me some friends n all that...its all good ^^

it sucks so bad that school is almost over in like.. two weeks!!!!!! bio is almost done! i mean..school is almost done! ><' yah..meh. I just hope i have some classes with ppl i know *sigh*

wow im in "spare" which is also known as free class cuz im done all my "modules" in foods...yes.."in foods"...kiddin. im bored i lost my glasses and im tired. whine whine whine. anywho, i wish we could have more than one poll running at a time..or can we?? someone let me know ok? lol. i wanna see how many left handed people are good at either math, art, drama or music. it said in my psychology class that lefties are better in those things..*ponders*

damnit i keep getting bumps on my fingers from my rings.. i always get that in the summer...SIGH anywho, i got some bio homework to do...wheeeeee

HOLY CRAP how did i know this, but the one who won that american "Swan pageant" thing was the rachel gurl. weird! o_o and then i had a dream that i liked my moms eye shadow that was blue n shit, and then when i woke up and saw my mom she had her makeup like that and... GAH weird. so does this mean that im gonna tell some person in bio to beat this one stupid chick with a stick? LMAO.

shmeh, went to bbq today and it was...okay...>>*... I still feel kinda shitty and i dunno why. i guess its really where i live...*sigh* meehhhhh... something dont feel right. maybe it's jus me... i have a weird feeling goin on inside my head. i hate when that happens - something always happens then...blarg.

well what can i say now. i went to calgary with boyfriend, sister and friend and ended up worse off then before. boyfriend and i avoided eachother the whoole time in the mall cuz he was being a jerk and i was being a bitch so i just pretended he wasnt there. then he got all depressed and all that and while i was half asleep we "made up" sort of. Im really losing connection with this guy, and i dunno why. im not made to be happy i guess.....well happy this way...and he should really learn not to be so affected by me being pissed off at him...its not like im the most important thing in the world so FACKIN DEAL WIT IT i wanna say. but i still love him. so it really hurts right now. im a fucking bitch to him and half the time he dont deserve it and half the time he does. guh. i just wish i could go away for a real long time...