hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
blaaahhh! that is all.
ciao~
mood__ annoyed but content
music_ none at the moment........
my computer keeps crashing SOMEONE HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE
~~ciao
mood - angry
ok its the time where i get angry (can i make it anymore obvious *throws blood everywhere* ) but fuuuckk there are tooo many fucking emo ppl who talk about dying and dont even mean it. i mean if u talk avbout dying for like ten fucking years or something, theres soething wrong there, dont fuck with life and fuck with death. either way, what happens happens. if i die tomorrow, cheers! if not, i live another pointless day. whatever.
fuck where is my person, wheres the one that actually cares, wheres that person that would do anything for me and not fucking lie and not fucking whine and not fucking pretend just for something. wheres my person that puts me before themselves. will i ever find this person? i doubt it. like really, ive always been close to last on everyones list. it sucks.
aha dont take much of this personally anyone, i just use this journal to complain, since nobody else listens lol
mood - content
music - under the bridge, red hot chili peppers
im happy sorta today ;D i saw my friends in brooks. it was nice, we took some weird pics i am such a camera whore! but then again the high will fade and i'll start thinking about things i miss, but oh well. it was fun though, sadly i was only there for two hours or so. my friend got a nipple piercing though! it was cute how he wanted to surpise me with it XD it was so neat to watch! it went really fast too, he didnt even bleed. i guess nipple dont really bleed do they?
~~ciao
im just ranting for my own good, dont bother reading (THIS MEANS YOU ESPECIALLY JASON dont ask me about it hahaha its pretty straight foreward anyways..) e_e;;;
well ive been told once again by another person that they dont care. im getting sick of hearing this shit. i already know nobody cares. and if they do, they only feel obligated to. like really, fuck, im not special to anyone really. im just some replaceable emo bitch. *smile* it isnt a great feeling when people constantly want to undermind me and lie to me and humour me and blaaahhhh and nobody really is here for me anymore. like im constantly alone, i cant even get a job and pretend to be nice to customers. all my moosejaw friends turned into cunts (i realized how horrid lots of them are) and then half the ones in brooks quickly replaced me with the newest girl dating the last prick i did. nobody looks back and says "hmm i miss her" or anything like that. i do it all the time, and maybe once in a while i'd like to know ppl care, but this isnt a request or anything (jason u arent supposed to be reading this..so dont tell me u care everyday ok dear? lol... or anyone for that matter..... lol)
i just feel like crap, im such a loser and u know what ive always been one. i likek being odd though, but having nobody care sucks. i dont fit in anywhere hell i'll never have a band, thats one thing ive wanted to do for a looong time (definately not to be a pretty singer... *pets brody*) but whatever i dont have enough friends to do that even. im just friends for a bit then dumped off replaced and forgotten (or i do it to them...mel and justin and hmm a few others hahaha). it sucks!! im not an attention whore but gawd ive been keeping in my feelings long enough. nobody cares to hear what i say, so i just say it here. (hopefully NOBODY {this means u jason} is reading this...lol)
anyway i ranted enough for today.
music__one gun_lamb of god
mood __hmmmmmmmmmmm
i duno these journals are just mindless rants dont even bother reading them :D
well i dont know if i can see anyone on the 23rd in the Hat now, i have no fucking job! my mom might book the day off, but im not sure if i even wanna go. i'd prolly go to the show and then hang out a bit with this one girl and then go home. i wanna party and get drunk and come home lookin thru my camera seeing pics i dont remember taking! i love those parties! :(
well im goin to brooks to see my friend there for two hours while my mom visits ppl and my sis goes somewhere...ya it should be fun. sexy pics ontop of a grey boxy ugly car! :D
~~ciao
song__4am_our lady peace
mood__mixed up
i am avoiding people that make me feel inadequate from now on. they can talk to me but i aint talkin to them anymore, they can if they want. like some ppl i used to like; yea i wasnt good enough so u know what im just not bothering with them. summer was harsh enough i dont need shit anymore.
other than feelin kinda shitty because im not good enough for some people, im still good enough for some =D i cant wait til saturday hopefully its fun.
~~ciao
song__ got that rock school The Class song stuck in my head HELP MEEEEE!!!!
mood__excited
hmmmmm hopefully i can see my mohawk friend... i think i like him.... but im not sure. he says lotsa weird things but he seems to just be joking but then again who isnt pervy? .. i duno xD i always liked him; just not that much oO maybe on the 12th i'll decide if i want a crazy boyfriend! wheeee!
song - lamb of god, one gun
mood - not too sure oO
wheeeeeeeeeeee i used to bug ppl for liking this sorta music but im really taking a liking to it now. being angry opens you up to lots of awesome music, bitches! RAAAAAAAAAAAAA
hehe i cant stop admiring my satan pic i did... i'll have to put it on here one day.. or just visit my gallery on deviant art!!
hmmm well i applied at like four places.. im pretty sure i'll get hired at the liquor store.. if not.. im screwed... or working at a cd store or a sweet clothing store called culture craze...with awesomely sexy punk clothes from guess where? the UK!! i love UK fashion! i still didnt get a good mark in art, which i tried to fix sooo bad. the teacher gave me a fucking 50 on the piece that i had two days to do... so i got fed up and couldnt stop the crying infront of the principal so he gave me 67,lol... so my final mark for art? SIXTY FUCKING EIGHT! that is NOT gunna help! gooodddd...... burn bchs, BURN!
hm, other than that, i might finally go to medicine hat to see my sorta-friend's concert. i really wanna hear it, im stoked really. and i get to see other ppl too. whee! im still confused about shit, like really with the whole love stuff. i feel dumped off to the side really. it sucks. i guess i have to live with it, but its hard. its hard just being part of the past. eeeeeeeeeee whatever. i just need to vent.
ciao ~~
hahaha wow i guess changing my "mood" gets ppls attentions. o well though, I WANT A MOHAWK it wuold be so sweet. not for the attn, but just cuz i like how it looks,. tho some girl told me it doesnt work for girls...scru that.
music - transplants; academy flight song (or so they say)
mood - bored and bored and a lil hopeful
hmmmmmmmm lots of ppl are givin me comments on my hair <3 its great, i cant wait to get the 'hawk. and my eyebrow piercings... i want some more ear ones too, and maybe something weird like a collar bone. xDD sweet. i would love it, if i wasnt allergic to so much metal.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm
o well, i just wanna die doing what i love... like gettin hit by an airplane while playing music, or getting hit by a semi while drawing on my lawn or something. hahahaha. good stuff.
im gettin so bored of life! arghhhh!!!!!!!
speaking of love... love sucks. haha im glad i dont feel anything anymore. like anything. not happy, sad, lovey, hateful, nothing. im like a chunk of lint.
i want a mohawk. =)
ergh i feel like shiat. :3
well today was my last chance, the last day. nothing. except seein the back of her car. whatever! FUCK IT ALL ahahahaha im fine really. goin to see fireworks and i feel sick and tired but im going anyways. whatever seriously god!!!
so bout the guy thing and wanting back i duno anymore imaginary people, i think i lost it with all the excuses and the convos just died right aways. oh well, that's life. if u dont show interest, im gunna lost interest people! yep. out--
Music: fire whispers - stutterfly
Mood: excited!
im sittin here waiting to win a bid on a sexy drumset! of course im gunna add onto it when i get a job and get more sexy cymbols and shit but YESSSSSSSS im so excited hehe it'll fix everything :3
Mood: missing people!
Music: feel good Inc - gorillaz (YAH MAN!!!!!!!)......like anyone reads this haha o well my personal vent! :3
"don't doubt me, don't walk away from me........ im on your side." these are the words i heard. i heard my name from your lips and turned around........ that was the day i finally got to hold you in my arms for a split second.
...........
..............
..............
. . . . . . . . . . .
..............
.......
....
...
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I'LL NEVER FORGET THAT DAY!!!!!!!!!!!
(becca misses the emo crush days somewhat)
well i have a coffee date <3 nothing sexual.just chillin with this one girl i was bored all summer with on msn. hahaha. it should be okay. yeah thats about it. chiao imaginary people :3
Song - Dilated by Atreyu
Mood - i duno o_o
welllllp. i duno what to say. kinda iffy. this summer is really boring though. i cant wait to see my girly friend though shes sooo funny. yeah i was supposed to go to mel's birthday party and all that? naw. i didnt feel like hanging around her work buddies and her friends from school that i disliked......
other than that.. iduno im still thinkin about stuff with things and the guy then theres the girl and all that. aaugh! well okay in like five days my crush for the past like year is gone forever. then like i wont see the other one ever again (but he doesnt really care) and i duno if im over him i feel like i am but i dont know. i still miss the old stuff and i know i wont find that anywhere else. o well i kinda not good enough anymore i dont think. but bout the girl im iffy too since other ppl say shit bout what she says bout me (why would she talk about me in the first place) and the whole emo drama of july was terrible. the worst time of my life.
rambling has persisted for the night ~~~~~
Mood: annoyed
Music: this celluloid dream by AFI
holy shit hi people! havent been on here for a while and sorry if i havent replied ill get back to you guys some day. *has like a million messages* but yeah.
so as for the summer it was pretty kewl with goin to warped with my asshole of an ex. *trust me this isnt just bitterness here* it was awesome!! igot a pic with the singer from atreyu and saw almost all my fave bands there except a few that were playin the same time the GUY wanted to see thrice... *slaps him silly*
thats about it. well see ya all later u emo bastards!
Music:: None
Mood:: ...None xD
Im bored. i have a week off school and not sure what to do besides hang with friends. it's all good though.
Music: Garbage - Push It
Mood: Bored
I am bored. >_>.... what else to say hummm.. not much. I wish I could drive. Apparently there are parties like every weekend and damn if I could I would go. Not for the people, but for the booze! MUAHAHAAAA naw jk. I don't know, but lately I've just been sick of some people around where I live. They're BORING!! AUGH. Like really, I wish I had more interesting friends sometimes. Maybe some that would do things more often too. I'm a social person, but I guess I'm not meant to be.. since I LIKE being around lots of people, but sadly have like three friends where I live. It SUCKS HARD CORE!!!!!!!!
I can't wait to move.. but then something is holding me back.. as usual. lol. I'm out. Too bored. haha.