so some total stranger tells me i have beautiful eyes and another customer recalls he hit on me about three months ago and gave me his number.
so being ugly isnt that bad.
haha :P NYAAA
new trivium cd - fucking awesome. i dont fucking care who says "omg they arent real metal" someone even tried to tell me they were punk. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
but the cd is brilliant, they didnt lose their sound or anything. i liked this band before most people didnt know who they were :D i got slayers new cd and lamb of gods but never got to listen to it yet... (still sitting in my friends care) bah!
but yes... my fave song off the trivium cd is Unrepentant. creepily enough i made a tune like the intro before. ho ho ho.
omg last night my leopard gecko scared his tank mate and got all shaken up so i took him out to see if he was okay, and he crawled up my arm and sat on my shoulder until he relaxed. haha so cute. :D
geeeze ive been having serious pains for about three weeks straight now. it wont stop aaiieee. i thought it was my kidney but they arent finding anything wrong with me. which sucks. so maybe i'll just drop dead one day and they'll be like ohh... she had cancer HOW ODDDDDD! haha not.. i wouldnt just drop dead from cancer randomly e_e
but seriously haha nobody knows whats wrong with me and it's annoying and frustrating and (jumps off bridge)
jesus with a gunnnnnnn (8)
sooo today i worked with brody (guy i thought id date but he was a massive slut) and things went well. his face totally lit up when i saw him haha! it was nice seeing him though. he changed, and that's a good thing. i guess he didnt know a girl could be good to him D: he's all like "she's prettttyyyy you'd be proud of me becca" aha. and apparently he never said he didnt "date" ... the guy that told me that LIED!!! but oh well. brody amazes me in some ways though. the guy has a job and everything, but no fucking home to call his own. yet he's the happiest person i know, because he has that little love thing. it's kinda interesting i guess. :D
other than that... this is weird. i keep seeing the same people visiting my page all the time. haha AAIIIEEEE!!
hmmm ew my crickets are reproducing. oh god. theyre escaping. gross. one huge one was crawling up my wall just now. they keep crawling up in the same spot on my wall. like wtf MAGIC BRICK ROAD uh painted on a wall in their minds? sure.
woop, im working on getting a car kids. it will be fun. even though its hideously gold. but its a 2002 something or rather. originally used and sold for 9 000 but my mom knows the dealer and he's knocking it down to 1500.... see what friends are for?! ahahahaha
woooop, its almost christmas. im so stoked!!!
omg theres this creepy girl at work.. another one, that keeps stroking and groping me. like ok... its not normal. she dont go strokin any other workers. just me. whenever shes behind me. and i was face to face with her and she -put her hand on my bum. GROSSSS!!!! i mean ok i like girls but not every fucking girl that touches me. she's all short and weird and lispy and gah. i shouldnt judge but geez i have standards too.
fuck off and hav a good day!
gah. i was invited to a party friday right. its a hallowe'en party. im gonna go for a bit.. as a drag king. heheheh!!!
but it sounds kinda lame. and the girl that invited me is kinda flakey so im sure her friends are lame and preppy too e_e and apparently something about them being horny sluts that kiss eachother when theyre drunk... ok ew hetero girls kissing is just wrong. WHY WAS I EVEN INVITED?! im scared yiii!!!
fuck off and have a good day!
aaah crappppp! one of the few of the male species i wanted to date is working at MY STORE NOW. o_O it was the player that got dramatic with me and i made him depressed. it was pretty weird. since he usually just fucks and forgets but with me i flirted with a different guy and he left the house and got drunk. then the other time he put his arm around me and i kinda felt odd about it and moved, and at a show i avoided him for a bit so he took a slut home. hahah!
but things are different now. he found an easy young slut to date. see, im not some easy fucking slut. i didnt even sleep with him. hell he slept with so many people id prolly get aids or someting. i kissed him. that was it. he was so cute... but such a whore. x_x
i hope its not too akward! WOOOOOOP.
other than that... hmmmm... i have to pee.
fuck off and have a good day kids!
do do doooooooooo random people trying to offend me is funny. like customers. they called us retards in drive thru OH MY GOD OH NO IM GOING TO GO CUT MYSELF!!! pft. if i havent met ya i dont give a shit what you say. hell, if i met you i dont even care. honestly now.
in other news, i uhh... there is no news really. i finally am going to start painting.. i bought the paint like.... 3 months ago haha. i cant wait. since i had a huge break in art im going to kick ass. who cares? nobody but whatever, typing is fun. especially when nobody reads it OH NO IM SO LONELY IM GOING TO CUT MYSELF yeah shut up you fucking assholes!!!
what assholes? i dont know. GOD!!!
hahahaha. i love how people react to things i do. everyone spazzes and overreacts and tries to get back at me.
but me? i dont fucking care about anything or anyone. this is so amusing!! like this one bitch was telling me that writing journals everyday is whiney because i mentioned some people have become whiney... and shes bitching about me behind my back in order for me to hear about it... like OK IF YOU HATE ME WHY EVEN REACT TO WHAT I SAY?! haha! its so amusing. so so amusing to fuck with people.
hahahaha. i love how people react to things i do. everyone spazzes and overreacts and tries to get back at me.
but me? i dont fucking care about anything or anyone. this is so amusing!!
i had a weird dream where one of my exes like gave me ahug then started being an asshole so i stabbed him in the throat and he died hahahah!! then i stole his car and was escaping but his gf i think gf crashed into my car and i got arrested I WAS SO CLOSE... hahaha
its almost 2am and i have to work at 6. augh. i went through lots of things i had when i was about ten today. lots of toys and shit. oh and a book i had when i was about 2 and up MY FAVE BOOK BAD BEAR oh yeah she was a great influence. but some reason now i feel kinda empty and lonely. like where did the times go? all of a sudden im going to be 20. i dont have that comforting, warm feeling where everything is safe.
i dont have that shield anymore.
it makes me feel sad. because, though i want to get it over with and grow up and all that shit, when it happens i wont have anything. it will just be me my computer, my pets and school. o and possibly a car. that will be it. it makes me feel so empty and kinda depressed. all the worries hit me now. unsafe, i am going to be unsafe, bare to the world. who knows when i will finally move out but the safeness is gone. and it wont ever come back.
i need drugs. please?
-end depressing rant-
b
so i went to calgary last night to check out knucklehead. it was an awesome show even though i missed martyr index that played before them SNIFFF! theyre a good band i forgot to buy their cd. ah next time though. fucking wicked band. anyways so i had a mickey of rum and nothing to eat so i was basically drunk the whole day! starting at like 10am! XD it was fun for a while then i got sick at about 4 and threw up allover this restaraunts bathroom this girl was in my way and i like shoved her outta the way and threw up all over the toilette aahaha so nasty.
but i made it to the show! i was sober enough to get up and get in the warehouse. but the place was playing some super loud bass song and low rumbled make me puke when im drunk so i was runnin outta the place tryin not to puke and i ended up puking all over the stairs haha and some of the floor and this emo kid was like hey mnnnnn are u ok?? and i was like yyeeaaahh (almost throws up on him) it was funny. woo i almost threw up on an emo kid! well they were nice but for some reason they were trying to be rude and pointed at us and were going "PUNK!!! HEY YOU PUNNNKSSS!" like how is that supposed to offend? haha lame!
the show was sweet though. there were lots of young kids. some stupid asian kid (he wasnt stupid cuz he was asian) kept resting his arm on me and i shoved him hahaha. and some stupid bitch was raisin her fist in my mohawk! BITCH!! i almost punched her but i just shoved infront of her ho hoho.
i got raised fists new cd at sloth too. thats a fucking sweet store. i was too drunk to see anyting at barbies though. SNIFF! there are some fun things. all i remember about being there was humping people with the dildos they had in the bakc. hahah!!
and after the show we were parking outside the city to look at northern lights and the cold air made me puke like eight times. i think i threw up about 12 times last night but once i got home i was good. i couldnt even feel my pulse i still cant. haha good times!
so yes -- if you havent heard of raised fist or knucklehead NOW YOU HAVE AND NOW YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THEM! gday.
well PS - if you dont like punk just buy raised fist, BITCHES.
aaah i cant wait til saturday. though some girl i kinda hate (she stalked a guy i liked at the time.... BIATCH I HATE GROUPIES ALL OF THEM SHOULD DIE!!!) anyways.. so yeah two hours face to face with the psycho. and shes so annoying at shows honestly. she thinks she's hot shit and cheers and nobody cheers with her. hell nobody even wants her to come but theyre too nice to say "FUCK OFF" to her.
so woooooop i wanna get some sweet gear too. like a knucklehead shirt. i need more band shirts. they kinda define you in a tiny way. a tiiiiny way.
omg some older men hit on me today hahahaha. like ok when they were young you could tell they were hot. and they had like a mafia accent. so funny! one was like catchya later becca (does finger snap point thing) haha. fuck. funny.
sniffffff there arent any hot girls anywhere here. SNIFFFFFFFFFFF
meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meowwwwww!
hm, im bored with my job. sure its super easy money and you actually meet neat people but i want more money. fuck i dont wanna settle for a beater ugly car and get smashed and die (though some of you would like that NYAAAA)
im checkin out the black dahlia movie tomorrow. im excited. because mia kirshner is a neat actress (she acts on the L word.... ok no i dont think shes hot shes talented.)
and then knucklehead on saturday in calgary WOOOOP! they are an awesome band :D
you know whats fucking hilarious??
these goth/emo kids runnin around thinking theyre hard core and they all like the same bands
blink 182
good charlotte
fall out boy
sooo fucking hard core. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
heek heek heeek im bored. but happy. because i get paid this weekend. so i can buy a nice UV light for my geckos. (why do i have to talk about it because nobody else i know is interested in reptiles so i guess ill talk about it in a journal) ho ho. the guy at ropps didnt even tell me they need UV lighting... haha alllll reptiles do (nocturnal not so much but diurnal (??) YES.) but whatever ok... i like my babies. i cant wait to get the crested geckos too, i want a leaftail in the future (aka maybe in a few years) the satanic ones look NEAT. but okkkk hmmmmmm
so i think other people at work like the guy i like there.. BOOOOO!!! (steals him away with his ugly truck) >.>; and he likes me. which is good because i like him and such. he keeps saying my name and making idle convo for like two seconds every time he comes, so its a good sign. oh and maybe i think this way cuz we kinda held hands and paused and it was cute and SHADDUP OK i havent had feelings for a guy for a super long time. hahah woooooop. (lesbian with exceptions)
well theres my random rant thing to nobody woo wooooooo
do dee dooo do doo do dooooooooooo i fixed my fish tank today. oh and um.... yeah ... im doing trig in math. IT SUCKS SO BAD haha
(BREAHTES IN) I GOT A CREDIT CAAARRRDDD!! WOO WOOOOOOO!!!! thats good to know i even make enough money to be accepted without cosigning and shit. and omg i got 82 in psych. the class was like 90 but i got about 75 on the test or someting. and math IM ALMOST DONE AAAHHH IM JUST HAPPY AND NOBODY CARES BUT I DOOO WOOOHOOO!!!!!!