so okay check out my last diary. let me know if youre in.
http://www.irc
thankyouuu
this goes to everyone who cares about herps and stuff!!! check out this site. donate even ten fucking bucks. i had three people do it already and some people from work are going to give me money to donate :D !! i really hate to see species extinct and shit. so here it is. this is to help a south american beaded lizard. there are only 200 left because of...well check out the site! if you care for reptiles GO LOOOOOOOK !!! please. for me. no ... for the lizard. im donating several hundred in the new year!
http://www.irc
first of all... omfg I PASSED MY MATH OMG OMG YES YES YES. 1. i get money back. 2. i raised my average over all and that means i get into university either way if i so choose to WHICH I REALLY SHOULD.
second of all... i think this guy ive been hanging out with alot wants to date me. suprise suprise eh? i mean the only reason girls fit into the punk group i was once part of, was because they are groupies/sluts
third of all.... i am going to get more reptiles in the new year and thats it. NEW YEARS RESOLUTION: stop after the blue tongued skink im getting probably in january. and also my leaftail and african fire skink. thats it. i'll stop my herp collection at 12. hell i think i might have to sell some cresties for room!
i wanna breed the cresties thats why i have like 7 of them. it will be a fun project but i might sell 2 or 3 of them if things dont work out aka the bitchy one that bit me because i never handle him so he's basically wild!
im stoked for the blue tongue skink though!! they are so personable like beardies but i duno i want a skink more! </3 theyre both aussies... i love australia haha.
so hmmmm its almost christmas! merry christmas everyone (even those who hate me) and i wish the best of time and hope things are great for all and such!!!
YAAAHHHH!!
whee christmas is in five days holy shit i spent so much money
wheee...
sooooo i talked to jeff today. godddd haha i still like him e_e i duno, he lives far away but he's willing to drive all the way down to lethbridge from edmonton to go to a show with me... wheeee!!!!!
just wait he'll do something to piss me off.
hohohohoo!!! theres a billy talent show in lethbridge and im going. yeah i saw them live before (warped 05, i didnt go this year with the crappy lineup kinda.) BUT i just wanna go and see rise against i totally missed them at warped (once again crappy lineup this year!!! D: )
im stoked! we're close too. i love goin to shows. it's been a while since i went to an actual venue to see a CONCERT not a gig/show. heheheheheehhh
anti flag will be there, i think i only like one song by them but thats okay
wheee
i just came to realization !!!!
everyone remembers when i was whining about wanting an ex back bla bla blaahhh. i didnt want to fuck him or anything like that.... (pokes at certain people)
honestly though i missed the idea of things we had i guess.
but i got over that umm what three months ago? haha six? something?!
well just had to get that outta the way.
it's weird. i shoved everyone i could possibly consider a friend away from me and now it gets to me... about half a year later.
i cant trust anyone, i know most of them were useless anyways (cough the sellouts cough cough) but still... now my life is really boring.
do i feel bad? do i feel hated? no. i chose to throw them away. im still working on throwing a few more away. i really just need a few friends. going out everynight with 20 people used to be fun but it got tiresome and made me angry and stressed.
now im just going to slowly work on a new group of friends, maybe a trust worthy NON SELLING OUT group of friends. haha
it's interesting. but hey, all i need in life is my best friends, booze, the occasional intoxicants, and my ever growing ego (yeah no more self pity FUCK that.) like seriously i think its kinda evil in a way... i reject and toss people away before they can do it to me so in a way that makes me feel good.
: D
muahahah!
(dies alone)
ok so i almost died last night (shakes fist) but now seeing im still here it seems like the last journal was an attention whore entry but really i was expecting to die.
WHY CANT IT JUST HAPPEN ALREADY OMFG.
looks like fate is telling me that i'll die later. nothing else is working. taking like 12 motion sickness pills didnt work (good high though)... it was kinda scary haha i just got this rush of hot burning on the top of my head and passed out for seven hours! hohohohh!!!
seriously what the fuck, i was all undepressed for the longest time. maybe im depressed because everyone enjoys selling me out and feeling theyre better than me. FUCK THEM! it could be that ..well with who and how i am, i will be dying alone haha.
so i guess that's that. i didnt really wanna die from convulsions anyways. that would suck.
omg you guys i tried something today if you dont hear from me im dead!
the chances are low but hey its exciting to see if i die hohohoh!
argh.
sometimes i wish that i liked men just fine and found someone that would just be fine with me and be equal and there weren't any female distractions and i just liked men.
but hey i dont like the penis.
life's a bitch eh?
okay so another guy at work told me he liked me. haha wtf?
what is it with them? im just approachable i think.
but he's kinda hot. i duno. i thought i had a thing with mr edmonton guitarist guy thats weird like me guy but i dont think long distance will work.
plus he likes being crazy and doing public things... yes things think about it. :D public action IS HOT! ok
yey im getting a car this weekend!!!
yeyyyyyyy
just thought id share im sure i shared it more than once....
YEY
HOWLY FUCK I MIGHT BE SEEING DIR EN GREY LIVE NEXT YEAR!!! well maybe... shh.... shh everyone!
but even more so THAT GIRL AT WORK WANTS TO KISS ME for real. haha. i was saying someting about how someone said my lipgloss tasted like cake and she said she wanted to see for herself and added a (serious) at the end D:
im so freaked out haha cuz she kisses her friends all the time but she knows theyre straight and knows i like girls like wouldnt it be just a tad weird??!?!?!?!
fuck hahahahaa.... aaiiee. do i dare? i duno.
check the gecks hohohoho ive had them since oct 28th
ummmm i was offered to "take a shower" with two girls... by a girl who makes out with girls for shits and giggles but is "straight".
why are they never hot? (her friend is ass ugly hoho)
FACK.
time to vent! and you know what, think what you want, i just need to whine to nobody, since nobody is the only one that listens.
right now i feel depressed. and i barely feel depressed. i feel hollow. like i guess its not depressed, but i am empty. i dont feel ANYTHING. hell, i wish i could feel something, but i dont. im never happy sad angry loved or whatever. i used to cut to feel but i know that wont help (almost been a year since i cut!!)
but yeah... seriously, i cant say anything to anyone because they put on that bullshit fascade IM YOUR FRRIIEEENNDDDD I CAAARRRE but does anyone stop to honestly ask me how im felling? no..nobody ever has asked and MEANT it. it was more hey lets pretend to care because we just finished talking about ourselves and have nothing else to say.
ive had enough. like seriously i cant even feel anything for anyone. i dont know what to do. as time passes i feel less and less. i think im happy but im really never happy. only slightly content... or secure. but it never lasts.
fuck, i hate everyone!!!
its not fun having nobody honestly give a shit about you. really.
wow im watching this fat kid on food network that hates salad.
i need a life.
haha
yiiiiii!
so okay for most of you aware, i am a reptile geek. i think i always loved reptiles. when i was about seven i rescued a snake my mom almost ran over. then i tried to tie it in a knot cuz i didnt realize HEY SNAKES HAVE RIBS!!! it lived but wow they are amazing.
anyways... so since i got queen beryl (giant day gecko) i have 9 reptiles. im not finished WOOHOOOO!!! they is gonna fuck and make babies and make me rich. thats exciting.
i am gonna get some really sweet leaftails soon! theyre 150 each and only about three inches but they are amazing. and really rare. but also let's see... AMAZING! i really wanted some satanic leaftails but i cant find any ANYWHERE! also known as uroplatus phantasticus for any google people out there.
i might get a spear tail... or two. since theyre small i can shove them on this super old fish tank stand i got like what four years ago or something haha. it's sweet. WALMART!
yeah... end reptile <3 rant!
OMG IM FINALLY DONE MY MATH!! ahahahahahahaa
it took almost a full year. shows how huge of a fucking procrastinator i am. like really. c'mon now.