Well, after the enthralling hospital experience i am happy to be home, and back in my normal routine. Really. Cleaning, cooking, doing evrything i am not supposed to just like i would have which is why i have made an important decision. i have to get the fuck out of here. i always talk about it, have friends say that they will help me, and it never works. The only person to be by me in this whole thing is Kym. Even though she is busy enough tending to her own life, she finds time for me. Everything is moving so slowly, but it is moving. Kym helped me to convince my brother that his girlfriend with no eyelids is not as important as family at this time. Their conversation was hilarious, something about how he should not choose a months fuck over his sister... even though he had agreed with me on the phone earlier. Hmm. i got a brand new cell phone // (205) 229 5185 call me, if you're a friend or more. Right now, voices and people are what i need to keep sane. Erm... yeah. i have a lot of news for everyone later... after my life gets to where it needs to be... next week all week is busy, i am the maid of honor at two weddings next week, and an assistant hostee of a baby shower, a bachelor party, a birthday party, a lingerie party, and an equine camp... woo hoo. Also i have birthdays coming up, Josh, Kym, Mark... wow. And then there's my imminent death to worry about. Kidding. i have oral surgery next Tuesday for a cyst in my mouth of all places, and a doctors appointment Wednesday before the first wedding. i have six paintings on deadline by next Saturday before the second wedding, and apartments to look at tomorrow. i am financially drained as of now, hospital bills, and more rolling in.. Blus Cross may be great on some coverage, but god help you on the co pay and remaining fees. It gets pretty ridiculous. i also need to set up an appointment with an optometrist, look into some laser eye surgery or either 2 to 4 pair of really cute glasses. Glasses would probably be cheaper.... Wow. i really want to go to Old Navy... has anyone else seen those sun dresses? And i would like to get my angel wings before April rolls in.... A full back peice. Two wings, wee! i am also going to grow my hair out super long and keep it at its' natural color.... i can't wait for this medical shite to end, then i can lose this weight and be sexay again. i also want a new cartilidge peircing. . . Sorry for my scatter brained thoughts. My Dad and i are talking again... daily... due to this medical stuff... ovaries can totally get you places... too bad my mother is not concerned... they arwe probably worried about my slut of a step sister anyways... i hope those two women burn in hell... they would be so comfortable there... arg, happy thoughts. Yeah... i have a lot on my mind... Oh, i have started to love R & B and even some rap.... that shit is great to dance to... i hope to hit the clubs really soon too... and a few bars... i miss my friends. Other than that nothing is really on my mind, other than the fact that about 80% of the male population should die! :( Totally. i want a pumpkin cream cheese roll.... omfg! It's after 10 and i need to call my brother.... Naz is going to be furious... i hope his lidless hoe isn't with him tonight.... she was just rude.... okay.... gotta go.... toodle-ooo
NARF!
Be back here tonight with goodies! A_real_freak inspired me to do a line of womens... thus why i have been gone for so long... i will write all of you back.... love you all!
He will never want me now.
No worries though.
He seems as though he has made his rounds in ET.
Just read the guestbooks and descriptions of the people on his Relations' List.
He loved a lot more than three people.
What can i say?
A fool like me steps into love without caution, and blindly.
It hurts to avoid him.
But i have to.
Is there any other remedy?
Because this is killing me.
"No fooling around with your troubles now kid.", says the marionetter as he pats me on the back... "It's showtime, put on a happy face.", says he as i am pushed onto the stage....
i suppose that's life.
And if it is, i want to work behind the scenes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~so
28 Ways to make a girl smile...
1 tell her you think she’s beautiful, not hot or fine or sexy.
2 Hold her hand at any moment, even if its just for a second
3 Kiss her on the forehead
4 Leave her voice messages to wake up to
5 Always tell her you love her, at any and all times.
6 When she’s upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.
7 Recognize the small things, they usually mean the most
8 Call her sweetie and baby
9 Sing to her, no matter how horrible your voice is
10 Pick her over your guy friends, and
especially girl friends
11 Write her notes, she LOVES them
12 Introduce her to family and friends as your GIRLFRIEND
13 Play with her hair
14 Pick her up, tickle her, play-wrestle with her
15 Sit in the park and talk to her
16 Tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her jokes
17 Throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night, just because you missed her
18 Let her fall asleep in your arms
19 Carve your names into a tree (but then plant a new one together for the damaged you caused)
20 If she's mad at you, kiss her
21 Give her piggy back rides
22 Buy her ice cream
23 Treat her the SAME around your friends as you do when you're alone
24 Let her take as many pictures of you as she wants
25 Look her in the eyes
26 Slow dance with her, even if there isn't any music playing
27 Kiss her in the rain
28 If you're in love with her, TELL her
i am ready for you when you are ready for me.
You know who you are.
And i love you.
i can't help it.
You're a god damned disease,
And i don't believe there is a cure.
i can't help for hurting
i can't win for losing.