The 23rd

My throats closing up
I can't breathe
My body's covered with sweat
I'm going crazy from this heat
As I lay there this way
My tears keep falling
They won't listen when i tell them to stop
They don't when I scream for them to leave
Today's the 23rd and all I wanted was to feel your love
Atleast get a happy birthday
But today's the 23rd and I didn't get what I wanted
Because today's the 23rd and I don't have you
I lost you a month ago and I don't think I'll ever get you back
So when the years go by
every 23rd day of the 9th month
I'll fell this way
Until I get what I want for my birthday
But today's the 23rd
Why do I feel this way
I should be happy
It's my birthday!

Same

I'm sick and tired of all this pain
It never changes
It's always the same
I'm running out of things to say because it's all just getting old
Talking about how much I'm dying inside
How much I cry and want to die
It always means the same to me
It means the same to everyone
There's no change
It gets tiring just to take so much time describing how my tears fall down
And how I run the blade across my arm
I know it's getting boring
We all know how it is
We've heard it all before
So why can't I just cut the crap
No more beating around the bush
Just say it how it is

I'm constantly crying and my heart is hurting
I'm tired of it all
I just wish that I could die

See how simple it is
Just lay it on the table
Lay it flat
Because it's really all the same and it's driving me insane
I just wish that I could change
So that I wouldn't be so tired and weary
I wouldn't be so bored with me

  Personal Hell
I'm filled with pain
Anger and sadness
My heart, my mind, and soul
They're being consumed, decaying slowly
As my pain multiplies so quickly
My body gets numb
My vision gets hazy
So I open my body
With one clean cut
Occururing in one swift movement
All my pain
Anger and sadness
Come screaming out of my wounds
They take the form of blood
So sweet and velvety this crymson blood seems
Yet so sour the pain it resembles
As it releases my innner tears and screams
As silent as those screams may be
They peirce my ears in a screchy scowl
Still no one hears nor sees my pain
My plea
Hidden beyond my eyes
Deep inside my body
My soul and heart
There is only one who knows of my hurt within
And that is merely me
These screams
This sobbing
The decaying of my inner self
I can't describe them
Even if I tried
No one would understand
So thus I feel I must continue opening myelf
And forming these wounds
To release my pain
Because what happens inside of me
My own personal hell
Is multiplying so quickly
This is all that I will tell