Something for me
What I feel inside
Is something so hard to describe
I don't feel that I can hide it
I know I can't fight it
All this I've tried for so long
Wearing me down, I'm becoming so weak
Stumbling and falling I can't walk straight
My vision is blind and my mind isn't clear
I just need someone here
To tell me that I'm not walking a straight line
That I need to open my eyes
And see things more clearly, more true
But I've been dropped and denied
Rejection is all I know
Therefore rejection is all I know how to give
I need someone here to catch me when I fall
Or hold my hand while I walk
Maybe just hold me when I'm down
But I don't have anyone
I don't have a thing
It doesn't seem like love is true to me
I know I say it and I know I feel it
But if I love you so much
And you love me too
Then why did we let each other fade
I'm being consumed by all these thoughts
It's driving me insane
Yet I can't keep yearning for something to happen that I know never will
So many thoughts all jumbled together
I can't even read nor hear them all clearly
All these voices inside
They tell me what's right and they tell me what's wrong
Yet these voices are so distant from my ears, from my senses
Why are you gone so long
Why are you so far from me
Don't you understand
I can't even see
I just want to scream so loud so clear so fierce
But when I open my mouth
Nothing comes out
Yet it hurts me so bad
My insides screaming and crying
Why can't I just let it free
Just let my emotions run wild
At least it'd be something for me
I've always done things to try and make you smile
But did I ever succeed
It's time I do something for me
Even just this
To open my mouth and scream
My own little...
In my own little world
I have my own little town and my own little house
And in my house I have my room
And in that room there you see
A darkened girl
Terrified of her ownself
Trembling,glar
Shes bleeding,cryin
It's as if shes dying
No, shes already dead
She just can't keep lying
Inside shes fallen
Shes been devoured by pain and anger
Shes already given up fighting
Inside her head
Inside her heart
Shes alone dying,crying in the dark
Why can't anyone see
Why don't they try to look more deep
And notice the girl in my room
Of my own little house
In my own little town of my own little world
Why can't they realize that girl is me
Dying,crying,s
But no one can hear
No one sees
I'm alone bleeding from my wounds
My pain is pouring out
I'm hiding
I just couldn't keep fighting
The 23rd
My throats closing up
I can't breathe
My body's covered with sweat
I'm going crazy from this heat
As I lay there this way
My tears keep falling
They won't listen when i tell them to stop
They don't when I scream for them to leave
Today's the 23rd and all I wanted was to feel your love
Atleast get a happy birthday
But today's the 23rd and I didn't get what I wanted
Because today's the 23rd and I don't have you
I lost you a month ago and I don't think I'll ever get you back
So when the years go by
every 23rd day of the 9th month
I'll fell this way
Until I get what I want for my birthday
But today's the 23rd
Why do I feel this way
I should be happy
It's my birthday!
Same
I'm sick and tired of all this pain
It never changes
It's always the same
I'm running out of things to say because it's all just getting old
Talking about how much I'm dying inside
How much I cry and want to die
It always means the same to me
It means the same to everyone
There's no change
It gets tiring just to take so much time describing how my tears fall down
And how I run the blade across my arm
I know it's getting boring
We all know how it is
We've heard it all before
So why can't I just cut the crap
No more beating around the bush
Just say it how it is
I'm constantly crying and my heart is hurting
I'm tired of it all
I just wish that I could die
See how simple it is
Just lay it on the table
Lay it flat
Because it's really all the same and it's driving me insane
I just wish that I could change
So that I wouldn't be so tired and weary
I wouldn't be so bored with me
Personal Hell
I'm filled with pain
Anger and sadness
My heart, my mind, and soul
They're being consumed, decaying slowly
As my pain multiplies so quickly
My body gets numb
My vision gets hazy
So I open my body
With one clean cut
Occururing in one swift movement
All my pain
Anger and sadness
Come screaming out of my wounds
They take the form of blood
So sweet and velvety this crymson blood seems
Yet so sour the pain it resembles
As it releases my innner tears and screams
As silent as those screams may be
They peirce my ears in a screchy scowl
Still no one hears nor sees my pain
My plea
Hidden beyond my eyes
Deep inside my body
My soul and heart
There is only one who knows of my hurt within
And that is merely me
These screams
This sobbing
The decaying of my inner self
I can't describe them
Even if I tried
No one would understand
So thus I feel I must continue opening myelf
And forming these wounds
To release my pain
Because what happens inside of me
My own personal hell
Is multiplying so quickly
This is all that I will tell