[Kurai Tenma]'s diary

884889  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-12-10
Written: (6558 days ago)

EDIT! I added the latest two posts... It's after the double line...


rikileeschulz
Registered Member
Posts: 3
(12/9/06 4:02 pm)

New Post: muscle coordination or strengthening?

Hi there,
just wondering to everyone out there who has learned to keep their larynx down, by learning to keep the larynx down are you only gaining muscle coordination and our inner larynx muscles have always been strong enough to sing properly or does the larynx come up because of weak inner larynx muscles to compensate?

It would make me feel better if the muscles just need to get stronger, because I can sing very high strained the way I'm used to but without straining I'm lucky to sing an octave(even with the trills and other exercises).

PLEASE RESPOND!!!!!




musiciano
Unregistered User
(12/9/06 5:07 pm)

New Post: ... Think about it.

The vocal folds are tiny, the only way to make them stronger is by exercising them without the aid of sorrounding muscles. Your vocal folds will never become stronger until you learn to coordinate them to work with the air flow independently from other muscles.

Think of the air as the amount of "weight" you're challenging the folds with (think of the folds as the "muscle" you are exercising.)

If other muscles are joining in, it is because your vocal folds can't handle all the air by themselves... as the other muscles join, those muscles become stronger and programmed in to "help" your folds with the air. This is counterproductive to making the folds stronger.

So how do we go about this? We start with very little "weight" (air) so that the folds can handle the air independently and they will gradually become stronger... they'll let you know when they can handle a bit more, you don't have to worry about it... if they're working without the aid of outer muscles, they'll have to become stronger and more coordinate.

Volume = air pressure... so start at a very low volume, look at yourself in a mirror and make sure that external muscles are not reacting to the work out, this is bad form and will encourage bad habits and hinder progress.

Your vocal folds are strong enough already, but your coordination is very weak, regain it by working your way up from the bottom... it's not going to happen the other way around.

A coordinated environment is the best place for developing strength... it is coordination which makes a difference between an excellent singer and a singer who lacks ability. Coordinate, the strength will come out of the coordination.

Best of luck!




BeyondTenor
Registered Member
Posts: 32
(12/9/06 8:51 pm)

New Post Re: ...

Volume does not rely soley on air pressure though. Resonance makes a difference. It's called formant.

American Heritage Dictionary - Cite This Source
for·mant (fôr'mənt) Pronunciation Key
n. Any of several frequency regions of relatively great intensity in a sound spectrum, which together determine the characteristic quality of a vowel sound.

The shape of your mouth can drastically improve the volume. Like Brett puts it... when you're in the shower, start with a lower tone, and slowly slide up. You'll find a tone where the entire shower fills with the note, and vibrates along with you. This is how the classical stage works. They can't scream the notes... A head voice uses significantly less air and cannot produce relatively loud tones. By using formant, you can make not only your throat, from the larnyx up, but also your mouth, resonate, without altering the actual sound. It's like using the shower to increase you power.

Do not be alarmed, I agree with Music as well. The more air your vocal cords get used to, the more you can use... even on the shortened cords.




musiciano
Unregistered User
(12/9/06 8:53 pm)

New Post: ...

I'm confused as to why you posted that reply... do you think it will help or are you trying to educate me?




BeyondTenor
Registered Member
Posts: 34
(12/9/06 9:10 pm)

New Post: Re: ...

Well, if you think it would educate you, then so be it. I believe you are well educated, and don't seem to want it. That's how you just came off, like you don't need it.

But no, I was simply trying to show that you don't have to press so hard to have a good volume. That helps when you're towards the beginning of the process.




musiciano
Unregistered User
(12/9/06 9:41 pm)

New Post: ...

Resonance is a by-product... if there are no interferering muscles in the process of phonation, resonance will happen on its own accord.

I did not mean it that way, I just didn't see a point to your reply. When one "presses so hard" the very independence I wrote about is lost. Furthermore, resonance (overtones) increases projection, not volume. The volume of the is increased with air pressure.




BeyondTenor
Registered Member
Posts: 37
(12/9/06 9:58 pm)

New Post: Re: ...

On that now I disagree. Reasoning:

American Heritage Stedman's Medical Dictionary - Cite This Source

res·o·nance (rz-nns)
n.

1. The sound produced by diagnostic percussion of the normal chest.
2. Intensification of vocal tones during articulation, as by the air cavities of the mouth and nasal passages.
3. Intensification and prolongation of sound produced by sympathetic vibration.
4. The property of a compound having simultaneously the characteristics of two or more structural forms that differ only in the distribution of electrons.


Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.0.1) - Cite This Source
o·ver·tone [oh-ver-tohn]
–noun
1.    Music. an acoustical frequency that is higher in frequency than the fundamental.


sound projection

n : the acoustic phenomenon that gives sound a penetrating quality; "our ukuleles have been designed to have superior sound and projection"; "a prime ingredient of public speaking is projection of the voice"

Volume

n : 8.    the degree of sound intensity or audibility; loudness: to turn up the volume on a radio.


Projection is affected by volume. A softer sound does not carry as well, and a louder sound carries far better. The acoustics of the area matter, yes. But, they add to both of them in the same degree. Someone who is yelling will be heard far better than someone who is whispering.

Overtones have to do with harmony, not acoustics... Though, they care created through the cry, and compression of the vocal cords. That is why they are overtones. They are tones heard OVER other tones.

Resonance happens automatically, agreed. Where the resonation is, is determinant of the voice used, and the formant. The more resonation, the louder the tone will become, simply because the more air that is taking on that frequency.






musiciano
Unregistered User
(12/9/06 10:33 pm)
New Post: ...

I still see no point.




BeyondTenor
Registered Member
Posts: 39
(12/9/06 10:36 pm)
New Post: Re: ...

Yet, you wouldn't. It would make it seem like you needed corrected.
880670  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-11-29
Written: (6568 days ago)
Next in thread: 880683

Current Favourite Song:
[Correction.... Sexyback shouldn't be my theme... this should be. Then Sexyback, then Animals.]

Jimmy Wayne - That's All I'll Ever Need


I've got sun on my face
I've got food
I've got clothes
and a place where I can lay my head
I've got friends
family
And the freedom to hope and to dream
as big as I want to
And I've got you

That's all I'll ever need
who could ever ask for more?
I've got it all
What everybody wishes for
I thank God everyday
for the blessings this life brings
and sending your love
that's all I'll ever need

I don't have lots of fame
and I won't be the biggest of names
up on the marquee sign
but I've got this guitar
I've got songs that I wrote from my heart
and people to sing 'em to
And I've got you

That's all I'll ever need
who could ever ask for more?
I've got it all
What everybody wishes for
I thank God everyday
for the blessings this life brings
and sending your love
that's all I'll ever need

It's the little things
like when you smile at me
That's all I'll ever need
I've got it all
Oh yeah

That's all I'll ever need
who could ever ask for more?
I've got it all
What everybody wishes for
I thank God everyday
for the blessings this life brings
and sending your love
that's all I'll ever need

I've got sun on my face
I've got food
I've got clothes
I've got you
That's all I'll ever need.

875309  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-11-15
Written: (6582 days ago)

Stolen from [deus-misereatur] on hyperness lovers united

REad this
We've all experienced deja vu in our lives, but did you know there are many variants of deja Vu that you may have throughout your life?

Deja boo: The feeling that I've been frightened like this before

Deja coup: The feeling my government has been overthrown like this before.

Deja clue: The feeling that colonel mustard has done it in the billiard room with the lead pipe before.

Deja do: The feeling my hairdresser has given me this cut before.

Deja eau: the feeling I've smelled this perfume before.

Deja fu: The feeling I've been kicked in the head like this before.

Deja who: The feeling I've known who was on first before.

Deja jew: The feeling I've wandered in the desert like this before.

Deja knew: The feeling that I remembered this information before (before the test, that was).

Deja loo: The feeling I've been to this bathroom before.

Deja moo: The feeling I've drank this milk before.

Deja mu: The feeling I've calculated the mean of this population before.

Deja new: The feeling I haven't experienced this before. (AKA, "Vuja De" - Nothing like this HAS EVER happened to me before.)

Deja ooh: The feeling I've exclaimed at these fireworks before.

Deja poo: The feeling I've stepped in this before.

Deja Q: The feeling I've encountered this entity before.

Deja rue: The feeling I've regretted this day before.

Deja stew: The feeling that this is made from the pot roast my mom served the week before.

Deja too: The feeling that I've experienced this before, also.

Deja two: The feeling that I've experienced this before, twice.

Deja woo: The feeling that heather has yelled at someone like this before.

Deja you: The feeling that YOU have experienced this before.

Deja zoo: The feeling that the monkey has done this in public before.

DUH-ja-vu: The feeling that the answer was so obvious, that you *surely* should have known it before. DUH!

874894  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-11-14
Written: (6583 days ago)

Wow... my dream... WOW...

Okay, like I heard this voice... I swear it was next to me. I was typing... in my dream I was typing. And it said:

'tis time I said "'Ello" to you, after all this time. Who am I? Do no be surprised I know your very thoughts. I know you know not me. Do not worry. In due you shall understand in full my existence. Without me, you would not have survived this long. I am what you dreamed, but far from the dream. Do you yet not understand. I am right beside you. If you don't trust me, look. Right over your left shoulder.

...

I feel the fear. You refuse to look to no avail. You know I am there; I am real. What? Trying to write me off as imagination shall not pass me off. You feel it, that presence, behind you. It feels as though you are being hovered over. Did you feel that? I just touched your shoulder. Which? The left one, you hypocrit. You felt it, yet you question it. Will do you refuse to look. I am the answer to your prayer, if you want to call me that. Yet, I cannot be. I have been with you since you began to struggle... Yes, struggle. Which struggle, though, that is the question. Try to figure it out. I am waiting on you to look at me in the eyes. Do not look at your window again. That is directly to your right. I am behind your left shoulder. I have my hand resting on it, you know that. You FEEL it. Give in... and I shall tell you my story. One of protection; one of warmth, yet cold.... I'll tell you my story with you.



And I turned around... and whomever it was covered my face, and ... lead me somewhere, yet I was willing... when I woke. I wasn't me. I was in an arena. A mansion. I was told.... by who I have no clue, that I was in an arena, one with nineteen contestants, excluding me. I was in baggy,... pants, cotton, but not jean. Good for sneaking. They weren't capable of making a sound. My shirt, oh my gosh it was so overly tight, but it had to be the right size. I had gloves the same way, but I had completely freedom and control of my body. I looked like night itself... somehow.

Anyway. The rules were simple. Be the last one alive. There was a catch. You could spare someone's life, but it was a risk. If they agreed to defeat and complied, they had two minutes left in the mansion, before being led out. You got a twenty second head start. If they killed someone, they were free to stay in his/her place.

Anywho... seeing as I have to go... I'll have to finish this momentarily. It gets freaky... and graphic.


OKAY! Back to finish... yay...

So.... yada yada yada... and well, there was no timer. Fight to the finish. Scared me. No one really told me, I just felt like someone announced the rules to me before hand.

ANYWHO..

I went through, and I was using poison darts... all that ninja jazz. I mostly put people to sleep with tranquilizers and stuff... That let me throw them out of the mansion, disqualifying them. Anywho...

Out of nowhere, I started watching other people, in a monitoring room. I could see the whole building. It was going to bad. Weapons where hidden, and well at that. I could see the contestants. Two of them were getting near each other... near ME... There were spiral stairs next to the room I was in.. I climbed up the bottom of them, like a reptile or something. My stuff I had on made it possible.

Okay, so this smaller guy was coming from the downstairs, and found the sawed off shotgun near the stairs. He grabbed it, as this HUGE black guy jumped down.. I don't remember much of their fight, other than it was AWESOME and full of Matrix affects.

Then, the guy with the shotgun (whitie for reference) TRIPPED the big guy (blackie). He hovered over him, and pointed the gun, and asked him to surrender... Well... I saw my opportunity and shot them both with my tranquilizers. Blackie noticed... and wasn't affected AT ALL... Whitie was a lil weezie and said, "Gah that HURT." And blackie agreed. Well, he got up, whitie never moved because of the daze I put him in....

Great job JOSH!

Well... the black guy counted his time, and quickly took the shotgun, and shot the man in the stomach, point blank. Evidently, it knocked sense into him.. the rounds have been special so not to kill easily, but inflict pain, which it did.. He began to struggle... the guy shoved hiim into the wall.. below me... *switched to camera view in front of whitie*

Blackie had him down, and shot at his head, pointblank. Whitie moved, barely, it got the wall, and charred it. Then, he pistol whips him with the shotgun, and then pulled whitie's mouth open.

Here is where it gets weirder. I have two endings to this fight, both I saw at the EXACT same time..

ONE:
Blackie puts the shotgun in, and turns to walk away.. pulls the trigger... and BOOM..... you know..

TWO:
Blackie puts the shotgun in, and pulls the trigger... and it's empty. They emptied the gun already in the fight. Blackie throws the gun down, and sits Whitie outside the front door, so he is disqualified..



That is when I woke up.

869001  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-10-30
Written: (6599 days ago)

!!! BREAD IS DANGEROUS !!!

Research on bread indicates that:

1. More than 98 percent of convicted felons are bread users.
2. Fully HALF of all children who grow up in bread-consuming households score below average on standardized tests.
3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.

4. More than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread.
5. Bread is made from a substance called "dough." It has been proven that as little as one pound of dough can be used to suffocate a mouse. The average American eats more bread than that in one month!

6. Primitive tribal societies that have no bread exhibit a low incidence of cancer, Alzheimer's, Parkinson's disease, and osteoporosis.
7. Bread has been proven to be addictive. Subjects deprived of bread and given only water to eat begged for bread after as little as two days.
8. Bread is often a "gateway" food item, leading the user to "harder" items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.
9. Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.

10. Newborn babies can choke on bread.
11. Bread is baked at temperatures as high as 400 degrees Fahrenheit! That kind of heat can kill an adult in less than one minute.
12. Most American bread eaters are utterly unable to distinguish between significant scientific fact and meaningless statistical babbling.

In light of these frightening statistics, it has been proposed that the following bread restrictions be made:

1. No sale of bread to minors.
2. A nationwide "Just Say No To Toast" campaign, complete celebrity TV spots and bumper stickers.
3. A 300 percent federal tax on all bread to pay for all the societal ills we might associate with bread.
4. No animal or human images, nor any primary colors (which may appeal to children) may be used to promote bread usage.
5. The establishment of "Bread-free" zones around schools.

This article was written by B.S. Wheatberry in a desert after consuming mass quantities of yeast bread then realizing his canteen was empty. (seriously :P )

867883  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-10-26
Written: (6602 days ago)

My ranting... Very long indeed...


This is proof some people just play church... and not very well.

ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:16:01 PM): i need ask you a few things
Beyond Tenor (3:16:10 PM): shoot
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:16:11 PM): i made a bulletin which was a survey
Beyond Tenor (3:16:11 PM): but not me
Beyond Tenor (3:16:13 PM): lol
Beyond Tenor (3:16:15 PM): k
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:16:26 PM): and it had in it things i dont like and a list of them
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:16:33 PM): and one of the things i listed was satan
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:16:52 PM): well cari had to be a smart :-) and say you should love everyone
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:17:08 PM): and i dont know how to get outta this with out her proving me wrong
Beyond Tenor (3:17:11 PM): whoa whoa whoa, did it say LIKE or HATE
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:17:17 PM): like
Beyond Tenor (3:17:20 PM): then you're out
Beyond Tenor (3:17:24 PM): you still love him
Beyond Tenor (3:17:28 PM): but you dont' like him for what he is
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:17:29 PM): no i dont
Beyond Tenor (3:17:30 PM): case closed
Beyond Tenor (3:17:34 PM): then you lose
Beyond Tenor (3:17:38 PM): because she's right
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:17:41 PM): i dont love him though hes evil
Beyond Tenor (3:17:49 PM): you don't love Satan, you don't got it
Beyond Tenor (3:17:52 PM): seriously
Beyond Tenor (3:17:55 PM): God still loves him
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:17:55 PM): how do you love satan?
Beyond Tenor (3:18:03 PM): you know why I know?
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:18:17 PM): how can i he puts evil ideas in my head
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:18:20 PM): do you love satan
Beyond Tenor (3:18:35 PM): ^^
Beyond Tenor (3:18:36 PM): yes Id o
Beyond Tenor (3:18:48 PM): So does God
Beyond Tenor (3:18:50 PM): He is loove
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:18:53 PM): i dont see how
Beyond Tenor (3:18:57 PM): and He lets satan near him
Beyond Tenor (3:19:00 PM): read Job
Beyond Tenor (3:19:02 PM): dude..
Beyond Tenor (3:19:15 PM): suppose we have a guy... Joe Blo
Beyond Tenor (3:19:20 PM): he does bad stuff to you
Beyond Tenor (3:19:24 PM): do you hate him or love him?
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:19:26 PM): i need to get back into reading again
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:19:34 PM): idk
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:19:49 PM): i mean i like it when he gives me a lie to get outta trouble
Beyond Tenor (3:20:04 PM): no no on
Beyond Tenor (3:20:07 PM): >.<
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:20:07 PM): idk it's weird
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:20:10 PM): haha
Beyond Tenor (3:20:13 PM): dude...
Beyond Tenor (3:20:16 PM): forget what he does to you
Beyond Tenor (3:20:20 PM): do you love him
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:20:31 PM): no
Beyond Tenor (3:20:35 PM): why not?
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:21:00 PM): because he's evil
Beyond Tenor (3:21:03 PM): so?
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:21:13 PM): and get's me to do things i don't wanna do
Beyond Tenor (3:21:13 PM): what about some random guy that's a Satan worshipper?
Beyond Tenor (3:21:26 PM): you do those things, he doesn't make you. Can't blame him he's good
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:21:32 PM): well i mean i know a girl that is
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:21:41 PM): and yes i do care for her
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:21:47 PM): so if i care for her then i love her
Beyond Tenor (3:21:52 PM): okay
Beyond Tenor (3:22:02 PM): so you love someone who stands for everything Satan is...
Beyond Tenor (3:22:05 PM): so why not love him?
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:22:31 PM): idk that's hard
Beyond Tenor (3:22:38 PM): yup
Beyond Tenor (3:22:40 PM): it will be
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:22:53 PM): so still can't prove her wrong then
Beyond Tenor (3:23:03 PM): yup you can... if you love him
Beyond Tenor (3:23:06 PM): you don't have to like him
Beyond Tenor (3:23:13 PM): Dakota.. there is this guy I work with
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:23:22 PM): because if she asks me do i love him and i say no then she's got me pinned again
Beyond Tenor (3:23:29 PM): I can't stand him.. he does everything he can to hurt me, anyway you think about it....
Beyond Tenor (3:23:32 PM): I love him.
Beyond Tenor (3:23:35 PM): because I have God in me
Beyond Tenor (3:23:39 PM): and God is love... and God loves him
Beyond Tenor (3:23:41 PM): I love him
Beyond Tenor (3:23:47 PM): but, I can't stand him, and dont' like him
Beyond Tenor (3:23:51 PM): it's the same way with Satan
Beyond Tenor (3:23:55 PM): I dont like anything about him
Beyond Tenor (3:23:59 PM): but I love him
Beyond Tenor (3:24:04 PM): actually... I do like what he does FOR me
Beyond Tenor (3:24:09 PM): there's only one thing he does
Beyond Tenor (3:24:23 PM): and that's show me my weaknesses. That's what he goes for
Beyond Tenor (3:24:26 PM): love him for that
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:24:54 PM): wow
Beyond Tenor (3:25:01 PM): make sense?
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:25:34 PM): yes and no
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (3:25:42 PM): idk like i said i need to get back into reading



Then... just to show how stupid some people are..


ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:18:26 PM): i gotta question about limewire
Beyond Tenor (6:19:02 PM): shoot
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:19:42 PM): it wont let me uninstall it all the way i did a search and it's still in files and i can't delete all of them
Beyond Tenor (6:19:55 PM): ?
Beyond Tenor (6:19:57 PM): umm...
Beyond Tenor (6:19:58 PM): oh
Beyond Tenor (6:20:11 PM): those are prob in the temp directory for windows itself
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:20:13 PM): gives some kinda erroe
Beyond Tenor (6:20:14 PM): you can't alter those
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:20:16 PM): error
Beyond Tenor (6:20:20 PM): what does it say?
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:20:34 PM): hold on i'll copy and paste it
Beyond Tenor (6:21:11 PM): kk
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:22:27 PM): ok well i went trough and did them all one at a time and it let me
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:22:29 PM): weird
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:22:41 PM): you know what acc file are?
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:22:52 PM): files*
Beyond Tenor (6:23:29 PM): temporary
Beyond Tenor (6:23:36 PM): yeah, windows does taht
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:23:40 PM): ok
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:23:55 PM): hmm
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:24:04 PM): well anyway you know anything about acc files?
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:24:29 PM): it's itunes standard storing files
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:24:46 PM): but you can put stuff in as a mp3 and others also
Beyond Tenor (6:24:51 PM): what are you wanting to do
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:25:02 PM): put movies on my ipod
Beyond Tenor (6:27:14 PM): umm...
Beyond Tenor (6:27:19 PM): just put themon their
Beyond Tenor (6:27:22 PM): mpeg files
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:27:34 PM): ok hold on
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:28:50 PM): umm how do i change it
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:29:01 PM): i cant find where to do it
Beyond Tenor (6:29:52 PM): ...
Beyond Tenor (6:29:56 PM): what is it now?
Beyond Tenor (6:29:57 PM): acc?
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:30:00 PM): no umm
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:30:33 PM): the audio listed on it is a mpeg layer-3
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:30:40 PM): so its a mp3 i guess
Beyond Tenor (6:30:42 PM): mp3
Beyond Tenor (6:31:49 PM): what about the video?
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:32:40 PM): well one of them its listed as a protected mp4
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:32:48 PM): and the other is a quick time video
Beyond Tenor (6:33:06 PM): that are currently on the ipod?
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:33:30 PM): i know the mp4 is
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:33:39 PM): and yes so is the quick time
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:34:20 PM): great and now quick time has locked up
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:34:33 PM): and i did ctrl alt delete and i cant close it
Beyond Tenor (6:34:41 PM): that's windows for you
Beyond Tenor (6:34:47 PM): it has a timeout for locked up programs
Beyond Tenor (6:34:58 PM): give it a few... it might be mintues.. Inno
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:35:00 PM): so i gotta shut down?
Beyond Tenor (6:35:02 PM): depends on the settings
Beyond Tenor (6:35:02 PM): no
Beyond Tenor (6:35:05 PM): just wait
Beyond Tenor (6:35:08 PM): have some patience
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:35:18 PM): hmm
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:35:22 PM): i can wait
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:35:28 PM): it's no big
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:36:00 PM): you know how you refresh you background page
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:36:14 PM): it's not even doing that
Beyond Tenor (6:36:26 PM): just wait
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:36:32 PM): i am
Beyond Tenor (6:36:43 PM): if something was worng, and you had to restart, you couldn't be doing anything
Beyond Tenor (6:36:45 PM): and you're using aim
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:36:50 PM): yeah
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:36:51 PM): and yahoo
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:37:04 PM): ok i got it to let me end task
Beyond Tenor (6:37:07 PM): kk
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:37:46 PM): ok so here's what i did that locked it
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:38:01 PM): i have scary movie 3 downloaded and stored as...
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:38:29 PM): again the audio says mp3
Beyond Tenor (6:38:46 PM): scary movie... the movie... as an audio?
Beyond Tenor (6:38:48 PM): that's not right
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:39:42 PM): the file name is
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:39:54 PM): scary movie 3.avi
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:39:55 PM): that help?
Beyond Tenor (6:40:00 PM): yup
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:40:05 PM): ok
Beyond Tenor (6:40:05 PM): it should be able to play it as it
Beyond Tenor (6:40:06 PM): is
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:40:31 PM): it's not in itunes the only it lets play is the quick time one
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:41:32 PM): ok and they are not responding again
Beyond Tenor (6:41:40 PM): don't panic
Beyond Tenor (6:41:47 PM): it happens when the system is busy
Beyond Tenor (6:41:51 PM): let it aloe
Beyond Tenor (6:41:52 PM): brb
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:41:58 PM): ok
Beyond Tenor (6:48:08 PM): ok
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:48:35 PM): ok
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:48:39 PM): still no luck
Beyond Tenor (6:48:47 PM): lol
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:48:50 PM): how do i get it change to a mp4 or 3
Beyond Tenor (6:49:02 PM): you can't... it's VIDEO
Beyond Tenor (6:49:06 PM): those are audio codecs
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:49:10 PM): going in properties didn't worked
Beyond Tenor (6:49:18 PM): you can change it to MPEG... if you have the software to do it
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:49:22 PM): well it's a avi file ain't it?
Beyond Tenor (6:49:22 PM): I might be able to find it
Beyond Tenor (6:49:27 PM): avi is VIDEO
Beyond Tenor (6:49:34 PM): MP3 AND 4 ARE AUDIO
Beyond Tenor (6:49:36 PM): sorry for caps...
Beyond Tenor (6:49:48 PM): yeah, and properties can't doi t
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:50:05 PM): ok how does properties do it
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:50:18 PM): i go and right click and it list's...
Beyond Tenor (6:50:18 PM): it doesn't
Beyond Tenor (6:50:27 PM): it can NOT do it
Beyond Tenor (6:50:34 PM): it's just listing everything about it
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:50:37 PM): yeah my bad i see now
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:50:45 PM): ok so how to switch it then
Beyond Tenor (6:50:58 PM): you'll have to have software that opens up the raw code on the copmuter.... decodes teh AVI format, and recodes to a MPEG
Beyond Tenor (6:51:00 PM): I'll find one
Beyond Tenor (6:51:01 PM): h/o
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:51:21 PM): ok sweet
Beyond Tenor (6:52:07 PM): http://www.winmpg.com/down/WinMPG_VideoConvert.zip
Beyond Tenor (6:52:08 PM): try that
Beyond Tenor (6:52:11 PM): it's just a demo though
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:53:27 PM): is there a way to rip it?
Beyond Tenor (6:54:02 PM): ... no
Beyond Tenor (6:54:06 PM): rip if from cd
Beyond Tenor (6:54:09 PM): oh
Beyond Tenor (6:54:09 PM): duh
Beyond Tenor (6:54:16 PM): you mean rip it off... hmm... yeah
Beyond Tenor (6:54:20 PM): let me see if I can get the full
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:54:23 PM): ok
Beyond Tenor (6:54:25 PM): use that demo though for now
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:54:41 PM): ok look at this
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:55:19 PM): warning the application may depend on other compressed files in the folder.
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:55:54 PM): for this application to run properly, it is recommened that you first extract all the files.
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:56:02 PM): what's that mean?
Beyond Tenor (6:56:26 PM): it means it's a zip file...
Beyond Tenor (6:56:32 PM): you tried to run the .exe from inside the zip
Beyond Tenor (6:56:38 PM): well.. the computer won't read inside zip
Beyond Tenor (6:56:44 PM): it's showing you temporary...
Beyond Tenor (6:56:50 PM): so the computer wont' know the other files exist..
Beyond Tenor (6:57:00 PM): on the windows explorer...what should be open to see it now
Beyond Tenor (6:57:04 PM): click extract all
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:57:13 PM): ok so is the warning anything i need to worry about?
Beyond Tenor (6:57:25 PM): YES.
Beyond Tenor (6:57:28 PM): extract all files
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:57:30 PM): ok
Beyond Tenor (6:57:33 PM): then run that extracted one
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:57:47 PM): well crap i xed outta it i gotta find the link on here
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:58:09 PM): ok
Beyond Tenor (6:58:16 PM): lol
Beyond Tenor (6:58:17 PM): ok
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:58:35 PM): ok so i hit next and now it's giving me....
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:58:59 PM): files will be extracted to this directory
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:59:03 PM): Files\Content.IE5\ILILYHS7\WinMPG_VideoConvert[1]
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:59:11 PM): now what?
Beyond Tenor (6:59:15 PM): change the directory
Beyond Tenor (6:59:18 PM): to desktop
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:59:34 PM): ok so hit browse and do it?
Beyond Tenor (6:59:53 PM): yup
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (6:59:55 PM): ok
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:00:17 PM): now is this still just gonna give me the demo or can i rip the full version?
Beyond Tenor (7:00:28 PM): ...
Beyond Tenor (7:00:28 PM): demo
Beyond Tenor (7:00:36 PM): I'm working on the full version
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:00:55 PM): ok now i got low disc space again
Beyond Tenor (7:02:10 PM): lol
Beyond Tenor (7:02:16 PM): empty the recycling bin
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:02:33 PM): nothing there
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:02:46 PM): i think it's all these system restore points i have
Beyond Tenor (7:02:48 PM): delete stuff...
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:02:56 PM): i can do that later
Beyond Tenor (7:02:58 PM): that's prob a part of it
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:03:26 PM): ok i got the program ok it's saying buy now then says all mp2 mp3 mp4 and some others and there's avi
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:04:13 PM): you really need to be a computer tech
Beyond Tenor (7:04:26 PM): no you dont
Beyond Tenor (7:04:28 PM): i dont
Beyond Tenor (7:04:34 PM): yeh.. tha'ts right... I dont
Beyond Tenor (7:04:35 PM): lol
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:04:39 PM): ok
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:04:53 PM): ok input and output?
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:05:05 PM): i got tokyo drift
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:05:11 PM): and i want it on my ipod
Beyond Tenor (7:05:34 PM): lol
Beyond Tenor (7:05:41 PM): input is the file for the movie
Beyond Tenor (7:05:44 PM): whicheve one you want
Beyond Tenor (7:05:49 PM): if it's avi.. use avi input
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:05:59 PM): ok
Beyond Tenor (7:06:00 PM): output is what you want it to go to.. MPEG1
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:06:07 PM): and output?
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:06:21 PM): so type what in output
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:06:30 PM): MPEG-1?
Beyond Tenor (7:07:41 PM): just put the name of the movie
Beyond Tenor (7:07:50 PM): and make sure the type is mpeg1
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:08:12 PM): C:\Documents and Settings\Dakota\My Documents\My Videos\The Fast and The Furious Toyko Drift.avi
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:08:16 PM): that's what's in input
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:08:25 PM): C:\Documents and Settings\Dakota\My Documents\My Videos\The Fast and The Furious Toyko Drift.avi.avi
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:08:34 PM): that's what's in output
Beyond Tenor (7:09:05 PM): no no on.... it's gotta be C:\Documents and Settings\Dakota\My Documents\My Videos\The Fast and The Furious Toyko Drift.mpeg
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:09:29 PM): that's for output right?
Beyond Tenor (7:09:48 PM): yup
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:10:16 PM): ok
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:10:21 PM): then convert?
Beyond Tenor (7:10:55 PM): yup
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:11:13 PM): ok now a gotta box titled AVI option
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:11:19 PM): it's got codes
Beyond Tenor (7:11:30 PM): k
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:11:32 PM): width/height
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:11:39 PM): frame rate
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:11:54 PM): and that's under video option
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:12:02 PM): and under audio there
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:12:10 PM): audio type
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:12:19 PM): and sample rate
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:12:26 PM): what do i make the codec?
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:12:54 PM): it's on indeo then the lil R in a circle video 5.10
Beyond Tenor (7:13:56 PM): leave it
Beyond Tenor (7:14:05 PM): Inno.. it should have auto fixed it
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:14:15 PM): ok leave all?
Beyond Tenor (7:14:27 PM): yup
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:14:56 PM): gave me a send on don't send error report
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:14:59 PM): and closed it
Beyond Tenor (7:15:41 PM): inno
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:15:54 PM): huh?
Beyond Tenor (7:17:04 PM): Inno
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:17:18 PM): can the codec be changed and fix it?
Beyond Tenor (7:17:32 PM): no
Beyond Tenor (7:17:39 PM): you are trying to change the codec
Beyond Tenor (7:17:43 PM): that's what the proggie is for
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:19:55 PM): so you don't know what do try now then?
Beyond Tenor (7:20:22 PM): nope
ROCKIN4CHRISTX (7:22:12 PM): hmm


He kills me... he's really that stupid.

867836  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-10-26
Written: (6602 days ago)
Next in thread: 867881

Ready? Pumped? GOOD! I feel like drawing.

*looks at the shocked faces*

Yes, but your masks back on... I do. Now..

HOW DO I DECIDE WHAT TO DO WHEN I HAVE NO IDEAS BUT THE URGE??

866608  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2006-10-23
Written: (6605 days ago)
Next in thread: 866652

I can see it in your eyes,
And feel it your touch.
I know that you’re scared,
But you’ve never been this loved.

It’s a long shot baby,
Yeah I know it’s true.
But if anyone can make it,
I’m betting on me and you.

Just keep on moving into me.
I know you’re gonna see,
The best is yet to come.

Don’t fear it now we’re going all the way.
That sun is shining on a brand new day.
It’s a long way down and it’s a leap of faith,
But I’m never giving up,
‘Cause I know we got a once in a lifetime love.

Everybody’s looking for what we found.
Some wait their whole life,
And it never comes around

So don’t hold back now just let go,
On all you’ve ever known.
You can put you’re hand in mine.

Don’t fear it now we’re going all the way.
That sun is shining on a brand new day.
It’s a long way down and it’s a leap of faith,
But I’m never giving up,
‘Cause I know we got a once in a lifetime love.

I close my eyes and I see you standing right there.
Saying “I do” and they’re throwing the rice in our hair.
Well the first one’s born and a brother comes along and he’s got your smile.
I been looking back on the life we had still by your side.

Don’t fear it now we’re going all the way.
That sun is shining on a brand new day.
It’s a long way down and it’s a leap of faith,
But I’m never giving up,
‘Cause I know we got a once in a lifetime love.

865031  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-10-18
Written: (6610 days ago)
Next in thread: 865060

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!





1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us
to act like soap opera guys.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act Like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

864702  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2006-10-18
Written: (6611 days ago)
Next in thread: 864706, 864720, 865680

ROTFLOL

<img:http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h132/FrenchyKat_2006/comic40.jpg>

853774  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-09-17
Written: (6641 days ago)
Next in thread: 853792

Let me explain something idiots...


The following message contains a few errors... *ahem*
1: No one can track down your physical address. They can track down your IP's physical address, and then interrogate them until they get your addy... but that's not gonna happen. Your IP tells what computer you are on, not where it is setting. I can have the same IP address on my laptop in house, as I do in the next.

2: If I were going to die in three days... what is the cause? Someone is watching this world-wide post and checking to see who all doesn't repost? Yeah, and I'm the Pope. It's not possible. Even if they could, there is NO way to kill everyone that doesn't repost within those three days. Sorry, but true.

3: I "automatically" have 2 months of bad luck for opening... but if I repost it will turn to good luck. I'm sorry.. but if I don't repost I will die in three days, so how can I have bad luck for an additional fifty-eight days after that?

At LEAST... use common sense when making these stupid things so they don't controdict. Okay? Genius?



DO NOT OPEN IN FRONT OF PARENTS"!!!!!
DO NOT OPEN IN FRONT OF PARENTS...5 PPL ACTUALLY GOT KILLED BY NOT SENDING THIS PIECE OF MAIL.THE CREATOR OF THIS MAIL HAS A PROGRAM THAT WILL TRACK DOWN UR ADDRESS. WHAT DO U HAVE TO LOSE? UR LIFE. PLZ REPOST! THANK YOU AND HAVE A MEANINGFUL REST OF YOUR DAY



Sorry, but because u opened this you will die in 3 days. sorry. the only way you can reverse this is by reposting it within 5 minutes. good luck

By opening this chainmail u have been given bad luck for 2 months. If u repost this message then the bad luck will turn good repost as "DO NOT OPEN IN FRONT OF PARENTS"!!!!!

839063  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-08-15
Written: (6674 days ago)

You seemed like such a big part
Of my life and my heart
But the truth is I've found something new
And He easily towers over you


One of my friends wrote that... her away message always talks to this guy she's had a crush on forever... and this is awesome..

837784  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2006-08-13
Written: (6677 days ago)

EPISTLE OF DEN DEN... TO ME... It's amazing. I tried to explain something to him. Then he finally gets it to click, and he gives me this about the subject! I love God and my friends!



I write to you from the inspiration of God. The past weeks I spent in GA were a blessing. But also a diminishing time for

my spirit, and body. The things that happened are of no importance now, they will be explained. I come North because

of God's calling.

I remember your belief of being perfect, and that is why I am writing this. Many of the "perfects" in King James'

translation refer to Holiness, and Sanctification. The reason you were chosen by God is because of your knowledge in

perfection, but also our friendship. Aside from God Himself, and Sherry, I more than anyone understand your nature.

I bring you here to reveal to you Sanctification. I write this to you to carry these things with you. Go and preach these

things, as you are called, but remember, study these things for yourself.

In Paul's letter to the Romans, Chapter 7, he does not understand his sin nature. Remember, he is saved, but he still

says something inside him wants to do wrong. However, Chapter 8 tells a different story. Paul is now "free from the

law of sin." We are saved and the sin is washed by the blood, but our hearts are still plagued with the law of sin. The

book says in many places, "Be Holy," "Be perfect" ... and you and I were taught that is impossible.

To say this is to say God's Grace is finite, adn that the blood is not sufficient to cleanse us from the law of sin. We

beleive a lie to say this! What snares Satan leads us through! But as we know, His Grace is infinite, and the Blood is

suffiencient. "We cannot be perfect!" as they say, but my friend read Chapter 5, verses 23 - 24 of the first letter to

Thessalonica. Faithful is He!

Sanctification does not bring itself on you. You bring it on yourself through the Holy Spirit. 'Tis not as a line graph our

walk, but a staircase. Be Sanctified and Holy, inquire our God to remove the sinful nature. The tree had already been

cut, but the root remains. Remove the root my friend, and preach these things unto all. Once Holy, the choice

becomes easier. Your sin will still effect you, and you still may make mistakes, but those times will now be fewer and

far between.

You are my voice at my long attended home. Satan's wily ways have brought gossip and untrue things to my name,

and it declines more and more. You know my heart my friend. But I tell you, do not save my name, instead bring the

awareness of Sanctification.

But as you know, I know your ways, as you know mine. Argue not with anger my friend, and always consider yourself

less knowledgable and lower than others, and God will lift you up as He has I. My name falls, but my spirit is lifted up,

and I give Him the praise. Study these things, and again I say, preach. The Grace of God be with you forever.

831566  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-07-29
Written: (6692 days ago)

I was supposed to go to Ohio this weekend. I had it cleared with work... I was gonna leave today after work. Three hour drive, so I would have been there about 7:30 my time... got off at 4:00. But, I was informed that plans change and if I don't go in tomorrow (I already have 50 hours a week...) then I'm fired. They can't do that... but they will. >.< The big boss man said the same thing. But he did say he was sorry for disrupting my plans and he'd find a way to make it up to me. That means he's paying me overtime. YAY! I already have too much of that thanks... I can't go to see my fiance now... and I won't be able to go for a month now... it's planned for us to work Saturdays for a while coming up! I told them that, and that it's my family I'm working on and I want some time for her... they laughed and said they used to be like that, but now that they are older they realize how stupid thinking that is because work is all that matters. Soo... in a week or so when I find a job that won't screw you over, where to bosses don't yell at you that you'll lose your job because you refuse to work ONE Saturday out of forty... they aren't getting a two-week notice. As a matter of fact, I'm not even telling them I quit. I'm not going to show up for work one morning, and that's it. My voice-mail will be changed to "Hey... guess what? I QUIT!" so that I don't have to waste my time and minutes answering. Then I can't wait to go in to get my check and let them let me have it... and I'll get them for harassment (trust me, they HARASS me about working Saturdays. I refuse, they go on for twenty, thirty minutes about how I have no choice) and I'll go to the labour board. They will love that. I'm part-time. It's illegal to make me work this much, I just dont' complain because I could use the money. But I don't need 60 hours worth! The labour board will hang them. Plus, they will have to pay me compensation for the vacation, holiday, and benefits they haven't given me. That's why making me work like this is illegal. They don't give me anything... heh.... So, I guess I gotta wait until tomorrow to go to see Sherry Jo for one day... for a month!

Darlin'.... hurry and move back! Stop being so selfish about "I wanna settle first." It's killing us both...

830576  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-07-27
Written: (6694 days ago)

Stolen from [ShiftySkillet]
Quite awesome I must say...



The Soldier stood and faced God
Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining
Just as brightly as his brass

Step forward now, you soldier,
How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek?
To my church have you been true?


The soldier squared his shoulders,
And said, No Lord. I guess I ain’t
Because those of us who carry guns
Cant always be a saint.


I’ve had to work most Sundays,
And at times my talk was tough;
And sometimes I’ve been violent,
Because the world is awfully rough.


But I never took a penny
That wasn’t mine to keep...
Though I’ve worked a lot of overtime,
When the bills just got too steep.


Though at times I shook with fear.
And sometimes, God forgive me,
I cried unmanly tears.


I know I don’t deserve a place
Among the people here.
The never wanted me around,
Except to calm their fears.


If you’ve a place for me here, Lord,
It needn’t be so grand.
I never expected nor had too much;
But if you don’t, I’ll understand.


There was a silence in the room
Where the Saints had often trod.
And the soldier waited quietly,
For the judgement of his God.


Step forward now you soldier,
You’ve born your burdens well,
Walk peacefully on Heavens’ streets.
You’ve done your time in Hell.


For those who serve.
-Terry Murphy, E-19.

760707  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-03-09
Written: (6833 days ago)

This was an I/M this morning from my best friend...

Zuriel Roni: hey walls, give me a call later or somethin, havnt heard from ya for a while...just a lil worried about ya, see how things are goin, ttyl buddy

I love my friends.

760634  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2006-03-09
Written: (6834 days ago)

Now what? The ivory tower is down... and it just can't be put back up. I see it now. It's down, and I kinda like it, but I prefer my security... maybe if I stay busy enough and don't have time for anything else...

755890  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2006-02-28
Written: (6842 days ago)

I spent my whole life building up this ivory tower, but now that I'm in it I keep wishing it would fall. Now that it fell... I'm scrambling to to put it back together. Do I leave my guard down, and leave the tower behind me, to forget what it once was? Or do I rebuild it, taller and stronger than ever before, with more reinforced fortification than ever thought possible?

One stone moved out of place, and I left it turned. In no time at all, it was crumbled about the floor. I could feel the cold rain all over, and I had no idea it could feel so... so... soothing, yet so harsh at the same time. When i finally recover, what do I do? That tower is lost, but I could build better, and hide in it just as well. Or should I stay out in the open...?

728475  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2006-01-07
Written: (6894 days ago)

Choices
Current mood: disappointed



We're always stuck between the rock and the hard place. It seems to me that the more I go through life, the more I see how one choice can change everything. I mean, one little thing, one decision for the moment, they can really bother you later.


I have plenty of examples, but for the past few months, one has really been bothering me. Very few know what it is, no more will. It's personal. It... it drives me crazy. It shaped more than that moment. Months down the road I didn't notice, but now, four or five years later, I do.


Something I wanted but didn't know I could have, I turned away for something that I had but didn't want. Now, there's no turning back. Would I do things differently? YES. Why? Some things in life are just too good to pass up. We all have regrets. Maybe, this one thing made me who I am, completely writing my story from there on out. It define my devotion, my faithfulness to the ones I've declared it. Such as it may be, I would still have done it differently. Knowing what I know now, I was an idiot. But, now, I'm sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place. I have something strong, and dear to my soul. Yet, on the otherhand, I have something I had longed for, for the longest time. Maybe, just maybe, I'm not the only one who had these thoughts or still does...


Satisfied? Yes. Disappointed, in myself for being ignorant, but overall, no way. I have everything, or so I believe. The rock is to my back, letting me lean on it, taking refuge in its surity. The hard place, it's moving again, yet not too far away. Its presence is near, but not always so close as to feel the wind coming around the smooth textures. Yet, the image is in constant view...


Now, I have to deal with it. Time to suck it up. Who knows... I might have to trust the hard place over the rock, or the sands of time could turn the rock to dust, leaving me in the open. Or, still yet, the hard place could grow soft, and whither away, removing the torment... No, that is impossible. If the hard place is gone, the longing still stays... This is what they call "LIFE."

 The logged in version 

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