What a day... I've been home since Wednesday, March 14th at 11:30am. I haven't left the house until today, at 1pm. Why? I thought I had the flu or something. My body hurts.... mainly my stomach. Pain comes in surges... who knows when or how long it will last. I cried last night. Just ask Sherry Jo. Anyway, I left to go to the Health Plus in the area. It's a mini-ER... Well, it wasn't bad. I told them EVERYTHING. The doc pushed on parts of my stomach, most of it hurt, some didn't.... but when he got to where my apendix is supposed to be... OUCH OUCH OUCH! I about screamed. He noticed and pulled back. They did some blood work. They did a urine test. Other than the fact my urine was DARK BROWN and DRY (it was liquid, just dehydrated), there wasn't too much of a problem with it. My blood showed EXCESSIVELY HIGH amounts in the white blood count. That means I have an infection of somesort. Well, they can't do catscans and the like at the HP... so I have to go to the real hospital's ER. He did give me all the paperwork for what they had done. He gave me these options as the problem:

a) apendix (what he thinks it is)
b) liver
c) kidney
d) gallbladder
e) my blood itself

He thinks it's A... which means he suggests it gets taken out NOW. I don't like the sound of that... but I'm going to the ER when mommy gets home. I don't know why she isn't yet.

17:36:05 Zapinc: No, thats just my apocalyptic approach on Anti-God people, the rest of the Wiki are peaceful, loving folk, while I have more violent and Punishing views, Im the sort of person who starts wars over religeon

But - If its a display of Intimate knowledge and understanding, and someone who you can NEVER defeat in a wit-showdown, [Kurai Tenma] and [Rizzen] will wipe the floor with you, I will just bark at you and after im finished, go out and knife one of your kind...
Let it be Jahovas witness, Scientologist or athiest, i dont care, they all deserve the same punishment...

17:50:08 Protective Akuma: Whoa... was I just referred to as wise?

Okay... I'll do the definitions from the PRIOR entry tomorrow, I need to update it... IN THE MEANTIME... I'm tired of repeating this, and if you've heard it, you've only heard the short version... and I have something unusual in my current condition... it's all in here.

Okay, so.... I've got a gash, approximately 4-5 inches (10-12.5 cm) long on the top of my head, about the same distance from my ear and eye (both left side). So, it's 4-5 inches long, and 4-5 inches above my left ear. This are rough guesses... Lol.

Anyway, it happened Monday at work. Bummer. I work in a heavy machinery environment. Well... someone stuck scaffolding (see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scaffolding) so that it was hanging about six feet off the ground. The corner (I mean like a huge area, just towards the corner of the building) was VERY dimly lit. Couldn't barely see. My safety glasses obscure vision badly above eye level... so I couldn't see this "misplaced scaffolding" (as work declared it). WHAM. Ran into it full force. That's why I have the gash. It cut deep. Got light-headed, so I bent down to sit and do what I had intended to do.

I started sweating, I thought, so I wiped my left brow... and brushed my hair (to get rid of any sweat in it)... and my left hand came away COVERED in blood. I was light-headed from the loss of it. I stood back up... evidently I moved some of the scaffolding I hit it so hard, because I hit it again, this time JUMPING UP INTO IT... hit just about the same spot. Got to the ER within thirty minutes... had to wait TWO HOURS for someone to even invite me back, and we had showed them, and everything, and they said I was the most serious case... which means priority, guess not.

Anyway, he gave me stitches, sent me on my merry way.. OH! Not to mention my tetanus(sp?) shot. It hurts now, even two days later. It feels like someone hit me full force with a ball bat.

Okay, I was talking to Dante (voice coach) via AIM last night... He asked me about my hearing, and I had been too concerned with my actual scalp to pay attention... I've developed some pretty bad tinnitus. It's the constant buzzing ring in my ears.. medical condition. Can be permanent... It's throwing my hearing off. I hear BAD chords... or did...The buzzing is about Eb5, slightly sharp. Anyway... it's like a mix of a piece of steel tubing that's been hit to ring (much like a bell) and radio static. Awful to listen to, but I'm adjusting. Dante and I seem to feel it will be permanent, and I'll adjust to where it doesn't bother me.

Evidently, based on tonight, that's not all of it. I heard the piano after church, and my instinctual thought was "That's a bad shade of blue." I don't know if it's a fluke... or true development of synesthesia (see: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/synesthesia). I kinda hope it's a fluke, and then at the same time I'm hoping it's not.... but we shall see. Dante is studying vocal pathology, and they study the hearing, too. He said they have been taught that this type of trauma can lead to tinnitus, and upon healing (whether or not tinnitus is permanent), if the hearing improves, it will most likely go beyond it's previous state... in my case it would have to be synesthesia. I have great hearing. If it doesn't improve nothing. So... could it be going that direction? I have no clue... scares me..

Other than that, I just have a head ache and want my love to hold me.

'Night.

Well, last night was my second lesson. I was told I'm the fastest learner he's had. I'm past the first level of "constriction-free" method. That being, I can do a lower pitched (meaning below middle C) and a falsetto (pure head) without constriction at all. I'm also noticing constriction by feeling, and sound. I can hear it in other people now, too. He said that was unusual.

I can sing a light mix, and up to a G, with very little constriction, but I can't use the twang effect at the same time...


I so need to put up definitions for all this. I'm sure people are saying "Falsetto??? He's not singing full voiced."

Well... Dante gave me my first phone session today...

OMG... It was THREE HOURS long... THREE. He said he was going to work me hard... this is HARDER THAN HARD. I pretty have to throw everything out the window. I sang him a song... then he sang it back... and asked what the difference was... and I told him... and he took fifty minutes to tell me WHY SLS won't get me to that point, but his constriction-free can. I know a good bit of his terminology. I liked this.. I noticed some big differences he made in my voice, within seconds. I'm going back for more. Monday... 7PM, to be exact.

Pretty much I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I'm learning how to control every muscle in my throat (mouth, and from right above the soft palate to below the larnyx) individually. Yeah, individually. I didn't know it was possible. I've already learned a few more vowel sounds, picked up on his dialect, found a better chest voice, and grown exhausted. It's rather tiring at first. SLS never could have done any of this for me.

What else... Oh, Dante gave me homework. Stuff that he spent a good bit of time fixing in my voice, that I still don't get completely yet... he wants fixed by Monday. He said I needed patience, not miracles.

I asked for this... I asked for him to teach me his method. He is. I am. Tired.

If you can't tell (which in this event you should be shot, hung, then mangled), I'm a music junky, mainly a vocal one. BUT, if you read the last post, this may make more sense. This is an e-mail session, betwixt me and Dante (the guy referenced as my newfound coach). Following it, is a private message session betwixt me and Gabriel. He goes by Musiciano on our vocal forums, so I call him Music. Both of which are "masters" in singing, in their own respects. Mainly, they are the same.


Dante:

Hi Cuno,

This is Beyond Tenor, from Jesse's forums. My name is Josh. I have a question, and I hate to bother you, so don't answer if you don't feel like it. You said that SLS has it's limitations, and that confused me greatly. What do you mean? How do I go around these limitations? I have no teacher. There isn't anyone up here in WV (near Charleston) that knows anything really. Most of them tell me that it's impossible for a male to sing higher than an E4 in full voice, unless he's a rare leggiero that can only sing the soprano line. I demonstrate, and they say my head and falsetto are the same... so teacher would be a big problem, as I'm probably the most intelligent on the subject here... and I don't understand what you mean. I just read your story, and listened to the clips, and I'm like "WOW... sounds like me." In the sense that I'm a poor determined soul, just like you. I want to be the best I can be. I have constriction sometimes, and I hate that.

Like I said, don't bother answering if you don't want to. ^^

Thanks bunches!
Joshua Walls


******************


Constriction. The key word is constriction. 75% of what most people can't do with their voices is due to some form of constriction. When you have

constriction, the larynx cannot fully release. I know Seth calls it a "speech level" larynx, but my teacher and I both prefer to call it a RELEASED larynx --

meaning released from unnecessary constriction. Hence, comes in the problem with SLS. SLS doesn't focus on the release of constriction enough to get you as

good as you could be. At best, it will help you to release enough constriction to find some extra range on the top and may show you how to get back and forth

between a light chest sound and a head voice kind of sound, but it never really shows you how to fully develop your voice. By fully developing your voice, I

mean learning to some completely out on every note, fine tuning your vowels, learning to use dynamics, learning to use all the different vocal colors you're

capable of, etc. If there comes along a rare occasion where SLS actually DOES focus on these things, it usually ends up being constricted, once again due to

the fact that SLS's primary emphasis isn't constriction. SLS seems to focus on range more than anything, rather than completely freeing up the voice. If you

release the voice of constriction and learn to coordinate everything properly, the range will be there. I know most of this probably won't make sense to you

-- it normally doesn't to most people I explain this to until I actually have them do these things in their own voices to the point where they can feel the

difference between everything I'm saying.

The only way to get around this is to find someone that sings released from constriction (good luck with that) and have them relay the information to you.

Even if you CAN find someone that sings released, chances are that they're not going to know how to communicate that info over to you. Even though you live

in WV, I'm free periodically throughout the week, and I could attempt to show you how to do some things with your voice. Beware, if you want me to show you

things, I work you HARD and you must be patient. As I said, some of the things won't make sense to you right away, ESPECIALLY when trying to explain them

over the phone.

Your other choice, if you don't want to take either of those options, is to do what I did. Forget everything you ever learned about singing, and find your

way from scratch. Build your voice one note at a time. Experiment a lot with your voice. But don't experiment with too much at once, otherwise you won't know

what variables are having a positive/negative impact on your voice. Become aware of what's going on in your throat at all times. Listen to all different

kinds of singers, and see if you can copy the sounds that they make. Notice what you have to do to make those sounds. Take note of similarities and

differences. Learning your voice in this way requires a hell of a lot of patience and a lot of diligent observation. This way takes longer than the other

way, especially when you don't know what you're looking for at first, but it can work. Working in this way, I learned how to take a modified chest voice up

to a B4, and I've never been described as a leggiero. No SLS teacher or any other teacher I've trained with for that matter has been able to show me how to

do that. That's just something I had to teach myself and discover on my own.

Let me know how things go.

~~Dante~~


******************


Thank you very much Dante. I think I understand a little bit, but definately not all of it. So, you would say SLS is a foundation that only really gets you

to the point of using certain coordinations, but far from complete? For instance, you said it coordinates a light chest to a head sound. This Released Larnyx

technique would allow for a heavy chest to connect? And an even heavier mix? I'd say it's like a dog that's on a short leash (no ability) to letting him off

the leash (SLS), only to find a fence (constriction). Releasing from constriction takes the fence down one board at a time until the dog can go any direction

it pleases... like that? I was messing with my voice after I read your reply, and I noticed what I consider my "heavy mix" is still only half and half, if

that. I know, you use different coordination "labels." I agree with them, even though I don't understand it. The logic of what you said makes perfect sense.

Reading what you are capable of, and knowing how little I am capable of, I do understand your reasoning behind it all.

Well, I might try a little of all three of those options. Studying never did anyone harm. The stronger the passion, the more patience. When it comes to

voice, I have plenty, thankfully. I know of ONE person who mentioned constriction-free singing to me once. He was older than old. I may be able to find him

again. I'd feel pretty bad to ask you. Lol. How much would you want? Schedules could still be hard to match. I think we are in the same time zone though.

Shoot, over the phone doesn't matter much to me. I'm the kind of person who would do anything for a passion. PA isn't that far from me. I like to drive. As

far hard work, nothing should come easy if you want to do it right. Without the effort, it's always vain.

So, would you recommend to keep using SLS and SS, or forget about them, and just play around like you said? Or do both? Any specific styles, or just singers

in general? I guess I need to get out the anatomy books, too. I'll keep you informed, but I'm not going to use you as free help. It takes you time for that,

and you need something in return. Something. Maybe not money. You may like something else, I have no clue. But, still, I'm not a big fan of taking for free.

If you think of something you would want, don't hesitate. It doesn't have to be music. I like other things, too.

-Josh


******************


You've misunderstood me, or rather I didn't clarify myself enough. The "heaviness" comes due to you releasing the constriction from the larynx. The ability

to sing heavy is already there, you just haven't to release constriction and work on developing the coordination. It's like trying to drive a car in mud. The

car may have the ability to go 140mph, but due to the impediment (the mud), it's abilities will be greatly hampered. Get rid of the impediment (the mud), and

the car is free to operate as it was designed. Everyone's voice is designed to be able to sing heavily or lightly -- exactly how heavily or lightly will

depend on your genetics, but everyone has the ability. Now, when I referred to SLS getting you a light chest voice, in many cases it's a constricted light

chest. (Yes, light singing can be constricted, as can heavy singing. You can have a constricted falsetto, whistle, head, chest, mix, etc.) BTW, just so you

know, I don't use the terms heavy and light mix, and such things. I just refer to coordinations. You have chest coordination, mix coordination, and falsetto

(which some just call head voice). Falsetto is directly connected to mix. You also have what I call the pharyngeal voice, which is just a variation of mix.

You also have super head which is an offshoot of mix/falsetto that's only used above high C. You also have vocal fry, but that's only used for your absolute

lowest notes. But chest, mix and falsetto will be what you use the most. For me, heavy and light singing is just a matter of using slightly more or slightly

less air pressure and/or changing the coordination of your vocal tract.

I don't charge for my services -- at least not yet. The only thing I ask from you is that you allow me to study your voice. I'm offering this to you for free

due to the fact that you're like a guinea pig to me in a sense. Trust me, I won't hurt your voice, but I'm learning how to best explain things so that people

understand the best. (That's why I say you'd be like a guinea pig.) I'm normally up a long time, often until 2 or 3 in the morning. I'm available most days

except for Tuesday and Thursday during the day -- I have all my classes on those days.

Anyway, I would suggest putting away the SLS and SS for a while and just take other routes. Talk to other singers, even singing teachers if you can. Learn

and be open to new ideas. Try things, even if it goes against what you've learned already. Believe it or not, I've made most of my discoveries while doing

things that I was taught NOT to do. Free yourself from preconceived notions about the voice. Start out as if you're a baby and know nothing, and find your

way from there, because more than likely, the whole way you think about your voice is probably going to have to change.

Call if you want me to explain things more clearly. (215) 605-4627 Or if you need me to call you, I have free long distance.

~~Dante~~


******************


I probably just misunderstood. I see that in the other one now, just a bit more implied than outspoken. As I release more constriction, and develop the

coordination, I'll find my heaviness. SS, and Brett, said the coordination was the position of the cords... I guess you say it's everything in the vocal

tract that changes the coordination? Makes more sense. Also, you said falsetto and head are the same thing? So, would the "falsetto" as termed by SLS just be

a breathy tone to you? Maybe you put that in your articles, I'll read it again.

I'm not worried about your hurting my voice. I wouldn't have come to you if I thought you would. You know a lot, and I'm very confident that you're going to

be able to free me up. Alright. I guess the price is to be your guinea pig and study specimen. I can live with that. I'm no real rush either, unless I die

tomorrow, I have plenty of time to master my voice, if that's truely possible.

Oh, God. Forget everything and start over. That I will try. With how logical I am, that could be the hard part, but I'll try. Ask lots of questions and

always be open-minded. That I can do. I can see the term "probably" doesn't fit, as I will have to change how I view my voice. As Music would say, play,

play, play. I'll do that. And I'll make note of what I have to do to make each sound. Thank you.

I'll call you, probably Monday though around 7:00PM, if that's fine. On Monday's, I work from 7:30AM to 2:00PM, then have class from 4:00pm to 6:45pm or so.

Tuesday, I work 7:30AM to 4:00PM, and have one class from 7:00PM to 8:15PM. Wednesday is just like Monday. Thursday is like Tuesday. Friday I get off work at

4:00PM and do nothing. Saturday's I never do anything, unless I go to see my fiance in Ohio. That's my schedule. If you feel like "experimenting" then you

can feel free to call. I'd probably be holed up somewhere with the radio on, attempting one of my many hobbies. My number is (304) 546-5997.

-Josh


******************


Coordination is not just what you do in your vocal tract -- that's only one aspect of it. It's also what you do with your cords and your support mechanism.

Your voice functions as a unit. What you do to one part of it affects something else, sometimes positively, sometimes negatively depending on what it is that

you're doing. In training, you can take this unique aspect of the voice to help you find how to free things, but when it's all said an done, everything in

the voice is connected and functions as one. For instance, if you squeeze with the wrong neck muscles, that will cause constriction due to the fact your

cords are overcompressed and "pressed"/squeezed together too tightly. This will likely cause you to lock your support muscles in an attempt to push through

this overcompression, which just leads to even more squeezing from the neck muscles, and the cycle repeats. Another example: if you sing breathy in an

incorrect way in your chest voice, for one you just won't be able to get loud. Two, you'll likely end up blasting air since you wouldn't be able to support

properly. Three, that would irritate the outer edges of the cords which will cause your falsetto and mix notes to go away. And four, if you didn't attempt

those mix/falsetto notes, you'd probably end up constricting neck muscles in an attempt to get the cords to approximate since they won't approximate

correctly due to the irritation, which just creates more problems. So you see, EVERYTHING in the voice is interconnected. What you do to one part affect

something else.

What I call falsetto is what some people call head voice -- actually it's what Brett Manning calls a pure head voice. What I call a breathy falsetto is what

Brett calls falsetto.

Anyway, calling on Monday at 7 is fine. Actually, depending on what your voice is like, I may want to work with you several times per week, at least at first

so I can closely monitor everything you're doing. I'll probably call you today.

~~Dante~~


******************


I'm in for a big change, and one huge lesson. No big deal. I'd prefer to really know instead of just guess around. Constriction is squeezing incorrectly.

Okay. Everything being connected will take some getting used to. That's for sure, but I'm ready for all of this. Thanks for the clarification. To call your

falsetto a head voice really wouldn't make a difference. But, I'm going to go with your terms. I may change it later, but for now, and as long as I'm

"training" with you, then I'll stick with yours.

Okay, it's really however you want. I'll just let you be the boss man. You know what you're talking about and I'm trying to figure it out. Today would be

fine. I'm going out to eat now, but that's just for now. I'll work my schedule around yours.

-Josh






Music:

Hey, sorry if I rubbed you wrong when I first started posting. I wasn't used to your open way of thinking, and it seemed wrong. I get it now. ^^

Don't let me hog the board. You know more than I!

Josh


***************


Josh, I accept and appreciate your apology. You know just as much as I do, our knowledge is just distributed differently.

Let's keep helping out!

Gabriel.-


***************


Dude, I love your name.

I think you would know more, because you aren't limited to SLS. I am. I have e-mailed CunoDante learning his constriction-free method. I feel that SLS is too narrow minded, and I have no way off getting out of my "rut" that it has caused. Just between you and me (since these here are high thinkers of SLS and I want them to keep their hopes about a better voice), what would you suggest? If you don't mind.

Josh


***************


SLS is a good starting point, but that's it!

My advice to you is to put all your SLS stuff away (I'm serious) and start exploring your voice in your own way. Forget about range and start focus on singing on released muscle... most SLS singers are singing on rigid muscle and that is taking away their overtones and their individuality and emotional expression.

Cuno is a really smart guy who knows very well what he is talking about. From my judgement, he too was stuck on a system once (CVT) and I believe and hope he has gotten past it. It is always good to know all that's out there, but systems will be systems, and the voice doesn't work like a computer. It is an intrisic part of who we are and its completexity is and never will be understood. It is a reflection of our souls which is why we shouldn't control it and make it sound how we want it to.

The constriction-free singing that Cuno talks about is something that anyone can use. Just make sure that you are free, not because you are MAKING yourself be open, but because your concept of sound is encouraging the freedom to occur as a by-product. Not the other way around. Sound starts with the concept, and if the concept is wrong, even if you're holding your throat open and free of constriction you will get a disconnected result.

My best advice for you is to sound bad in private as much and as often as you can. Crack away and sound like a wild animal... the more you do this, the more your body feels OK with doing its own thing, instead of being bullied by your egoical demands of singing. Cuno and I differ in that I believe that the ego should not be in control, it should come from a deeper place. Something that no one will ever accomplish with SLS or any other singing system. This can only be accomplished when you genuinely eliminate the fear of not being accepted by yourself or by others. It takes a lifetime... some are closer to this point than others.

Gabriel.-


***************

Thank you Music. I've already boxed all of my SLS stuff up, since my fiance has it and is using it to find a foundation. Hopefully she won't have this problem. I'll warn her now. So, by ridding myself of ego concerning my voice, and allowing my body to actually do what it wants, I'll remain free? Hmmm, okay. I'll try it. Maybe I am too overly logical.

Yeah, he was stuck on CVT. He said to basically understand what my vocal tract is doing to make each sound, so I'll know what is wrong, and what works. You two sound like the same person except for the ego part.

Okay, out with my SLS and in with "whatever it wants." And plenty of studying to go with it.

Thank you, again, Music.

-Josh


***************


Josh,

I just thought something up for you. If you are more the logical type of person, work with your voice as you would work a muscle group.

Guide yourself by the concepts of independence, flexibility and strength.

The independence is the freedom of the vocal folds to vibrate without the aid of outer muscles. (Freedom and resonance)

The flexibility is the ability for the folds to quickly adapt to different lengths and degrees of tension. It is like the range of motion, just remember that the folds are TINY, which makes it tricky to train them. (Range and accuracy.)

The strength is their ability to withstand air pressure without loosing efficiency. (Volume and power)

[Volume refers to the fundamental frequency and projection refers to the harmonics. Volume is achieved with air pressure and harmonics are achieved by freedom and modifications of the vocal tract.]


Forget the terms "mix," "head voice," and "chest voice" which are way more limiting than the broad concepts I described above. If you're having a hard time achieving a pitch focus on the flexibility. If you're having a hard time projecting focus on the independence. If you're having a hard time with power focus on the strength. Remember that a balance between air pressure and resistance put up by the folds is what's important.

Do you see how approaching the voice like this would be a lot less limiting?

Incidentally, the less muscles you use to sing, the more unique and yourself you will be. Tension has the same effect in everybody which is why it can make two people sound the same. Freedom, however, exposes the individual person.

Consistency is achieved by singing on a free body everyday, a free throat is the same everytime it is free. A tense throat can have many varying degrees of tension which will lead to inconsistencies. I hope these are clues for you, which help you!

Okay people... I dont' get it... Lol. I thought I had a five octave range on a good day.. TURNS OUT, I have five octaves on an average day, closer to seven on a good day...BUT..

My technique has become constrictive, and restrictive. A friend, Dante (no you don't know him) has the solution, a new method. Released Larnyx/Constriction-Free. This means I must abandon SLS, Speech Level Singing...

He's wearing me out already... and we haven't started. I don't even UNDERSTAND what he is telling me. He's going to call in a few days, and try to let me hear what he means. I'm going to be a "phone conference" student with him. He's in PA. I'm in WV. He said maybe once every other month we'll get together and do it in person. Funny thing is... he's only 21...

Oh, and he offered to do it for free, and phone lessons like three times a week.

Who sings this song???

I'd rather be sailing, yes, I would
On an open sea
I'd stand at the railing if I could
Feeling wild and free

The sun is on my neck, the wind is in my face
The water's incredibly blue
And I'd rather be sailing
Yes, I'd wanna go sail
And then come home to you

Sex is good but I'd rather be sailing
Food is nice but I'd rather be sailing
People are swell but I'd rather be sailing
Over the horizon

And I'd rather be sailing, yes, I would
On an open sea
I'd stand there inhaling if I could
Feeling wild and free

The sun is on my neck, the wind is in my face
The sea is incredibly blue
And I'd rather be sailing
Yes, I'd wanna go sail
And then come home to you

I'd rather be sailing
Yes, I'd wanna go sail
And then come home to you

I just thouht I'd mention just how lovely my friends are... quoted from Joyous' blog on MySpace:

   Next, was a comment from Josh. Josh, Josh, Josh. We've been through everything, eh? You've been there beside me, for gosh, a really long time it seems. You've watched me change from the person I was, to who I am now. And I know it hasn't been easy. I've bitched, cried, and complained through it all, and you've been right there beside me, getting me through it no matter what. It might be just a hi, or an I love you, when I needed it, even though I didn't want to hear it. Sometimes, you sent me lyrics to a song that totally matched my mood, and you knew it. You are an amazing person Joshua Thomas Walls, and I love you. It took me, how many years to say it? But I do, I love you.





   Yeah, we have been through everything, and no matter how rough it got, for some unknown reason, we managed to stay awesomely close in a friendship. Nothing more, nothing less. By a long time, it means half of her life... Lol. God did that girl bitch, cry and complain to me. Eh, that's what friends do. No, she doesn't like to hear the "love" word, even as platonic as I mean it. She still loathes the word, I think...

   ANYWHO! The whole point in posting this.... is I don't get why she emphasized my name.. "Josh, Josh, Josh." Umm... she failed to mention this also applies directly back to her if you switch the positions around. And... the line "You are an amazing person Joshua Thomas Walls," I don't get it... why my full name. She addressed most of her "close" friends.. me being second in that line of acknowledgement... but why my full name? Most others only got a abbreviated name, or a nickname... I don't get that.

   Le, if you read this, message me... I have another Q for you.


   If you want what I sent to her, go to http://www.myspace.com/exsandh0es and scroll down her comments... I'm not too far down, and it's LONG, so you can't miss it.

   Also, she's going into the Navy, and I know Joyous, even though she won't admit it, she will appreciate your prayers...



   Oh, and Hunny Bunches of Oats...

I LOVE YOU SHERRY JO!!!!!

You're not evil enough Scotty.

You are Dr. Doom


Blessed with smarts and power but burdened by vanity.


Dr. Doom 75%
Lex Luthor 64%
Apocalypse 63%
Venom     60%
The Joker 52%
Riddler     50%
Mr. Freeze 50%
Green Goblin 48%
Magneto     48%
Kingpin     46%
Mystique 44%
Poison Ivy 44%
Dark Phoenix 42%
Catwoman 42%
Juggernaut 40%
Two-Face 40%

So, umm.. this is a nice little rant...

First I frikin' ACHE... everything. I'm goiing to save the trouble and just paste my convo from MSN with Sherry Jo...

I should have said this... so I just added this one line. Should make it less confusing... I added the column names for the below.

DATE          TIME        SENDER         RECEIVER         MESSAGE
1/8/2007 5:11:28 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ I left work at noon...
1/8/2007 5:11:30 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ I'm a lil worse
1/8/2007 5:11:36 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ I've slept since pretty much
1/8/2007 5:11:44 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama *hugs*
1/8/2007 5:11:48 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ *huggles*
1/8/2007 5:11:52 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama What do you feel like?
1/8/2007 5:12:04 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama Shells has had kidney stones...
1/8/2007 5:12:10 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama Mom and I talked about it too...
1/8/2007 5:12:21 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ okay... my inner thighs, my head, my ENTIRE groin
1/8/2007 5:12:26 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ my stomache... all of it
1/8/2007 5:12:29 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama O_O
1/8/2007 5:12:33 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ around my bladder mostly
1/8/2007 5:12:36 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ any pressure hurts it
1/8/2007 5:12:41 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ like, I have pj pants
1/8/2007 5:12:47 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ and the LITTLE bit of elastic hurts
1/8/2007 5:12:50 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ it barely touches
1/8/2007 5:12:55 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ they bought them big on purpose...
1/8/2007 5:12:59 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ and I don't have them tied tight
1/8/2007 5:13:05 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ the could fall off...and it hurts
1/8/2007 5:13:08 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ the more I move
1/8/2007 5:13:12 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ the more it hurts
1/8/2007 5:13:20 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ inno.. som in my lower lower lower intestines maybe
1/8/2007 5:13:26 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ int he hot shower
1/8/2007 5:13:29 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ I felt better
1/8/2007 5:13:34 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ until I tooka drink I'v been fine
1/8/2007 5:13:37 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ and I'm peeing a lot
1/8/2007 5:13:40 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ that help?
1/8/2007 5:13:52 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama Hmm...
1/8/2007 5:14:13 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama Shells said that thats how she feels with kidney stones... 'cept her balls didn;t hurt, XD
1/8/2007 5:14:24 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama but, she said she peed straight blood before
1/8/2007 5:14:27 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama No blood?
1/8/2007 5:14:40 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ nice
1/8/2007 5:14:44 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ is she over there?
1/8/2007 5:14:45 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ lol
1/8/2007 5:14:49 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ no blood, but it hurts to pee
1/8/2007 5:15:03 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ my kidneys used to hurt off and on like for the past month
1/8/2007 5:15:05 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ not this bad though
1/8/2007 5:15:12 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ walkin is barable
1/8/2007 5:15:24 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ picking anythin gup, ANYTYING, even mylaptop...
1/8/2007 5:15:25 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ you're stupid
1/8/2007 5:15:34 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ walking up or down steps or slopes, I'm not even trying
1/8/2007 5:15:44 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ i've been downstairs all day
1/8/2007 5:15:49 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ except to go take a shower
1/8/2007 5:15:59 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ OH... it felt so good... I might go get anohter long bath or something
1/8/2007 5:16:32 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama I'm stupid...?
1/8/2007 5:16:37 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ no no no
1/8/2007 5:16:43 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ I'm saying if you'd ask me to pick anything up your stupid
1/8/2007 5:16:49 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama oh
1/8/2007 5:16:51 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama lol
1/8/2007 5:16:52 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ I started to empty some plastic out of a trash can
1/8/2007 5:16:54 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ I let it slma
1/8/2007 5:16:56 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ to the ground
1/8/2007 5:17:19 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ I had to put up the christmas tree at work... and it's up on top in a dungeon (locked gate), and I cried that hurt so bad
1/8/2007 5:17:40 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama Oh my gosh...
1/8/2007 5:17:47 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama PLease, please go to the hospital
1/8/2007 5:17:51 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ why?
1/8/2007 5:17:52 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama You have insurance
1/8/2007 5:17:54 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ so?
1/8/2007 5:17:59 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama You need to see what is wrong
1/8/2007 5:18:26 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama If its kidney stones, they can give you pain pills that will make you feel much better so you can bare it
1/8/2007 5:18:31 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama But what if its wrose?
1/8/2007 5:18:59 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ then it's worse
1/8/2007 5:19:04 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ I told mom, she wanted to know why I was home
1/8/2007 5:19:10 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ she said, "You just got a cold'
1/8/2007 5:19:13 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ and that was that...
1/8/2007 5:19:18 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ Jeff won't even look at me
1/8/2007 5:19:20 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ he's mad I left
1/8/2007 5:19:29 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama Fuck that
1/8/2007 5:19:34 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama That pisses me off
1/8/2007 5:19:45 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ sherry...
1/8/2007 5:19:49 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama NO
1/8/2007 5:19:56 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ if it's too bad to work tomorrow, I'l take myself to health plus
1/8/2007 5:19:57 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ or something
1/8/2007 5:19:59 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama That is bull
1/8/2007 5:20:52 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama They never believe you!
1/8/2007 5:20:55 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ I know
1/8/2007 5:22:57 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama [ Zone Labs Security alert: Session not encrypted because lone_tenshi@hotmail.com is not protected by IM Security ]
1/8/2007 5:22:58 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama What if its someything bad?
1/8/2007 5:23:00 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama Seriously?
1/8/2007 5:23:06 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama And you are hospitalized?
1/8/2007 5:23:12 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama Then how would they feel?
1/8/2007 5:23:15 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama Oh wait...
1/8/2007 5:23:22 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama they'd be like, "He's okay."
1/8/2007 5:25:03 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ Sherry...
1/8/2007 5:25:04 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ please
1/8/2007 5:25:05 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ don't
1/8/2007 5:25:10 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama [ Zone Labs Security alert: Session not encrypted because lone_tenshi@hotmail.com is not protected by IM Security ]
1/8/2007 5:25:10 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama I'm sorry
1/8/2007 5:25:16 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama It just hurts me to see you like this
1/8/2007 5:25:43 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ I know it does...
1/8/2007 5:25:47 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ I'll be fine
1/8/2007 5:25:54 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ I have a high threshhold for pain
1/8/2007 5:26:12 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama Until you move trees that make you crt
1/8/2007 5:26:13 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama cry*
1/8/2007 5:27:00 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ well.. it was only five pounds... and a nice uphill cliimb
1/8/2007 5:27:09 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ right now I'm curled into a ball on the couch, and I feel a lil better
1/8/2007 5:27:23 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama ...
1/8/2007 5:27:27 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama TT_TT
1/8/2007 5:28:03 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ ?
1/8/2007 5:28:06 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ i love you
1/8/2007 5:28:09 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ don't worry
1/8/2007 5:28:14 PM Akuma-Sama Tenshi-chan~ I'm not going to leave you alone
1/8/2007 5:28:17 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama I love you too...
1/8/2007 5:28:20 PM Tenshi-chan~ Akuma-Sama I'm jst scared





Okay, now the rant... Well... have you noticed almost all of the girls 17 and under have the SLUTIEST pictures up? And then they say, "Quit asking me to cyber?" DUH! You look like a whore. If you don't want to get a cyber request, then put a decent photo up and take down the "Jenna Haze" stuff....

Adam Lopez spent like 5 -6 years achieving his seven octaves.



Hey, peoples... is that true? He has seven octaves???? >.< I'll pass that up, just you wait.

[Post this if you or someone you know is fighting, has survived, or has died in a pokemon battle]


All I have to say is WTF???? I mean seriously... Lol.

Reminds me, my Pikachu can kick your Pikachu's arse!

So, the new poll is really killing me.. my opinion.. look at Silvie's diary.. http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/member.html?mnr=893380&;membernr=5555&show=diary#mess893380

That pretty much sums it all up.

I hope she doesn't mind..

I like this version of My Love/Sexyback... lol. They go good together: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWlXjE1aeI4&mode=related&search=

And this EXTENDED My love...: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDztrorC4Gg&mode=related&search=

http://www.jessenemitz.com/listen.html/o.holy.night.inspiration.mp3

That has to be the WORST singer in history, but I find it so flipping humourous to listen to... you should also..


While I'm at it.. should I enter a singing contest? Amberlyn, shush...

http://music.yahoo.com/mygrammymoment/upload.asp

I was told to do Cry Me a River...

EDIT! I added the latest two posts... It's after the double line...


rikileeschulz
Registered Member
Posts: 3
(12/9/06 4:02 pm)

New Post: muscle coordination or strengthening?

Hi there,
just wondering to everyone out there who has learned to keep their larynx down, by learning to keep the larynx down are you only gaining muscle coordination and our inner larynx muscles have always been strong enough to sing properly or does the larynx come up because of weak inner larynx muscles to compensate?

It would make me feel better if the muscles just need to get stronger, because I can sing very high strained the way I'm used to but without straining I'm lucky to sing an octave(even with the trills and other exercises).

PLEASE RESPOND!!!!!

Current Favourite Song:
[Correction.... Sexyback shouldn't be my theme... this should be. Then Sexyback, then Animals.]

Jimmy Wayne - That's All I'll Ever Need


I've got sun on my face
I've got food
I've got clothes
and a place where I can lay my head
I've got friends
family
And the freedom to hope and to dream
as big as I want to
And I've got you

That's all I'll ever need
who could ever ask for more?
I've got it all
What everybody wishes for
I thank God everyday
for the blessings this life brings
and sending your love
that's all I'll ever need

I don't have lots of fame
and I won't be the biggest of names
up on the marquee sign
but I've got this guitar
I've got songs that I wrote from my heart
and people to sing 'em to
And I've got you

That's all I'll ever need
who could ever ask for more?
I've got it all
What everybody wishes for
I thank God everyday
for the blessings this life brings
and sending your love
that's all I'll ever need

It's the little things
like when you smile at me
That's all I'll ever need
I've got it all
Oh yeah

That's all I'll ever need
who could ever ask for more?
I've got it all
What everybody wishes for
I thank God everyday
for the blessings this life brings
and sending your love
that's all I'll ever need

I've got sun on my face
I've got food
I've got clothes
I've got you
That's all I'll ever need.

Stolen from [deus-misereatur] on hyperness lovers united

REad this
We've all experienced deja vu in our lives, but did you know there are many variants of deja Vu that you may have throughout your life?

Deja boo: The feeling that I've been frightened like this before

Deja coup: The feeling my government has been overthrown like this before.

Deja clue: The feeling that colonel mustard has done it in the billiard room with the lead pipe before.

Deja do: The feeling my hairdresser has given me this cut before.

Deja eau: the feeling I've smelled this perfume before.

Deja fu: The feeling I've been kicked in the head like this before.

Deja who: The feeling I've known who was on first before.

Deja jew: The feeling I've wandered in the desert like this before.

Deja knew: The feeling that I remembered this information before (before the test, that was).

Deja loo: The feeling I've been to this bathroom before.

Deja moo: The feeling I've drank this milk before.

Deja mu: The feeling I've calculated the mean of this population before.

Deja new: The feeling I haven't experienced this before. (AKA, "Vuja De" - Nothing like this HAS EVER happened to me before.)

Deja ooh: The feeling I've exclaimed at these fireworks before.

Deja poo: The feeling I've stepped in this before.

Deja Q: The feeling I've encountered this entity before.

Deja rue: The feeling I've regretted this day before.

Deja stew: The feeling that this is made from the pot roast my mom served the week before.

Deja too: The feeling that I've experienced this before, also.

Deja two: The feeling that I've experienced this before, twice.

Deja woo: The feeling that heather has yelled at someone like this before.

Deja you: The feeling that YOU have experienced this before.

Deja zoo: The feeling that the monkey has done this in public before.

DUH-ja-vu: The feeling that the answer was so obvious, that you *surely* should have known it before. DUH!

Wow... my dream... WOW...

Okay, like I heard this voice... I swear it was next to me. I was typing... in my dream I was typing. And it said:

'tis time I said "'Ello" to you, after all this time. Who am I? Do no be surprised I know your very thoughts. I know you know not me. Do not worry. In due you shall understand in full my existence. Without me, you would not have survived this long. I am what you dreamed, but far from the dream. Do you yet not understand. I am right beside you. If you don't trust me, look. Right over your left shoulder.

...

I feel the fear. You refuse to look to no avail. You know I am there; I am real. What? Trying to write me off as imagination shall not pass me off. You feel it, that presence, behind you. It feels as though you are being hovered over. Did you feel that? I just touched your shoulder. Which? The left one, you hypocrit. You felt it, yet you question it. Will do you refuse to look. I am the answer to your prayer, if you want to call me that. Yet, I cannot be. I have been with you since you began to struggle... Yes, struggle. Which struggle, though, that is the question. Try to figure it out. I am waiting on you to look at me in the eyes. Do not look at your window again. That is directly to your right. I am behind your left shoulder. I have my hand resting on it, you know that. You FEEL it. Give in... and I shall tell you my story. One of protection; one of warmth, yet cold.... I'll tell you my story with you.



And I turned around... and whomever it was covered my face, and ... lead me somewhere, yet I was willing... when I woke. I wasn't me. I was in an arena. A mansion. I was told.... by who I have no clue, that I was in an arena, one with nineteen contestants, excluding me. I was in baggy,... pants, cotton, but not jean. Good for sneaking. They weren't capable of making a sound. My shirt, oh my gosh it was so overly tight, but it had to be the right size. I had gloves the same way, but I had completely freedom and control of my body. I looked like night itself... somehow.

Anyway. The rules were simple. Be the last one alive. There was a catch. You could spare someone's life, but it was a risk. If they agreed to defeat and complied, they had two minutes left in the mansion, before being led out. You got a twenty second head start. If they killed someone, they were free to stay in his/her place.

Anywho... seeing as I have to go... I'll have to finish this momentarily. It gets freaky... and graphic.


OKAY! Back to finish... yay...

So.... yada yada yada... and well, there was no timer. Fight to the finish. Scared me. No one really told me, I just felt like someone announced the rules to me before hand.

ANYWHO..

I went through, and I was using poison darts... all that ninja jazz. I mostly put people to sleep with tranquilizers and stuff... That let me throw them out of the mansion, disqualifying them. Anywho...

Out of nowhere, I started watching other people, in a monitoring room. I could see the whole building. It was going to bad. Weapons where hidden, and well at that. I could see the contestants. Two of them were getting near each other... near ME... There were spiral stairs next to the room I was in.. I climbed up the bottom of them, like a reptile or something. My stuff I had on made it possible.

Okay, so this smaller guy was coming from the downstairs, and found the sawed off shotgun near the stairs. He grabbed it, as this HUGE black guy jumped down.. I don't remember much of their fight, other than it was AWESOME and full of Matrix affects.

Then, the guy with the shotgun (whitie for reference) TRIPPED the big guy (blackie). He hovered over him, and pointed the gun, and asked him to surrender... Well... I saw my opportunity and shot them both with my tranquilizers. Blackie noticed... and wasn't affected AT ALL... Whitie was a lil weezie and said, "Gah that HURT." And blackie agreed. Well, he got up, whitie never moved because of the daze I put him in....

Great job JOSH!

Well... the black guy counted his time, and quickly took the shotgun, and shot the man in the stomach, point blank. Evidently, it knocked sense into him.. the rounds have been special so not to kill easily, but inflict pain, which it did.. He began to struggle... the guy shoved hiim into the wall.. below me... *switched to camera view in front of whitie*

Blackie had him down, and shot at his head, pointblank. Whitie moved, barely, it got the wall, and charred it. Then, he pistol whips him with the shotgun, and then pulled whitie's mouth open.

Here is where it gets weirder. I have two endings to this fight, both I saw at the EXACT same time..

ONE:
Blackie puts the shotgun in, and turns to walk away.. pulls the trigger... and BOOM..... you know..

TWO:
Blackie puts the shotgun in, and pulls the trigger... and it's empty. They emptied the gun already in the fight. Blackie throws the gun down, and sits Whitie outside the front door, so he is disqualified..



That is when I woke up.