God, I've been trying to solve all the pain in my life for weeks now, and it's been getting me nowhere.

I've been so emotionally unstable, it truly scares me...

What happened to me...? I was never like this before.

I can't eat. I have trouble sleeping. I'm constantly either feeling like I'm going to vomit or cry.

And someone needs to tell my parents to stop nagging me on going to church. It's not like it's pursuading me anymore to have people claiming to be christians act the way they do. That's their excuse for everything anymore: "that's not in God's plan."

I'm sick of life.

It's too bad all the knives in our house are dull. Not even kidding. I can't even slice a tomato properly with them.

God, my life is pathetic




Artist:Skillet
Album:Collide
Song:
In the dark with the music on
Wishing I was somewhere else
Taking all your anger out on me, somebody help
I would rather rot alone
Then spend a minute with you
I'm gone, I'm gone

And you can't stop me from falling apart
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault

How could you, how could you, how could you hate me?
When all I ever wanted to be was you?
How could you, how could you, how could you love me?
When all you ever gave me were open wounds?
Downstairs the enemy sleeps
Leaving the TV on
Watching all the dreams we had turn into static
Doesn't matter what I do
Nothing's gonna change
I'm never good enough

And you can't stop me from falling apart
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault

Tell me why you broke me down and betrayed my trust in you
I'm not giving up, giving in
when will this war end? 
You can't stop me from falling apart
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault.

You know you go to the library too much when the ladies who work there know you on a first-name basis...>>

Name:[someelf]
ET Race: Mix of an Elf (She mostly looks like an Elf)/human/angel. With the age around 165 (Looks 20 or younger.)
Occupation: A healer, and helper of the good, (housewife too.) Please with all kinds of magik. And learns to move thing's with her mind.
Weapon of Choice (you can only have 2 weapons): A dwarf-handmade dagger and a 'Water'sword (Gived my the waterfairy's).


(Looks: )She has a long blue dress, with a white corset, her mightnight boots fit with her outfit, her long hair, usealy in a tail or else in a branch, or just hanin' around goes above her butt. As in her fighting outfit, she wears a Chineese skirt/ or dress. Whichever she feels like. It's green/blue of colour. And her small greenish shoos fit with each outfit she wears. Her belt makes her more un-innocent. Which the belt carries a hand-made dagger and 'Water'sword on each side. Her hair in a high-ponytail and in each outfit she always has a blue crystal flower in her hair.
She has small lil' wings, they start with midnight blue and end with a sort of white/light blue.


I took this from my char of a RP o.o
From: black arrow:someelf



[Neko the Kitty]

*noir style*

she has light blonde hair, grey eyes and pale skin
um....a dark grey but not black hoodey and maybe jeans?oh, she always wears the necklace on the pic of her
http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/img/drawing/15097_1122427293.jpg


[Keseken]

I want a picture of a guy just kinda standing on a white backround, kinda looking like he's posing, not wearing a shirt. His jeans should be black and relitively loose, off the belt loops there should be either chains or a pair of hand-cuffs. He's not really muscular, he's just kinda lithe. about 5'8". He's really pale with a small tatoo of a ankh on his left shoulder and another small one of an arrow with wings going through a ring. His hair is kinda messy, a soft brown sugar color, not red at all. His eyes are a really deep blue framed by nice lashes. He has fine eyebrows and not really thick lips but not thin ones. Where his normal ears should be, he has brownish black jackle ears instead. They should have at least one peircing in each ear. He should be wearing a black opal pendant, and have a silver barbell in one nipple. If you can, he also has black feathery wings. Is that good for what you need as far as desctriptions go?


[Ri'hala]


Gender: female


Face: smooth, somewhat pale skin, sculpted lips.


Hair: glossy, waist length, raven-black


Eyes: piercing, crystal blue almost like blue ice. (putting a pupil in is optional, lol)

Wings: huge compared to her, brilliant white with a silvery hue


Build: Slender, yet well muscled and strong


Outfits: dark red bodice (almost black), with leather straps across the front. The bodice doesn't reveal too much cleavage, just a modest amount, and has thin spaghetti straps. It sweeps down low in the back, nearly to her lower back, giving her wings room to maneuver. black leather (matte, not shiny)pants with a crisscrossed sword belt and knee-high black boots covered in buckles, with the tip and heel plated in steel.


[enter somethin witty here]

 
hi I have the details on what I would like my drawling to look like:


Me with big smile and waving with long brown hair brown eyes, freckles everywhere but not to much, whereing a light green shirt with chockoe kitty on the shirt and whereing bagy brown pants, with a white blet and brown etnies shoes


*If your dont understand something or this is to much for you to do then tell me and I will change. thank you! ^^

Vanessa Carlton - The Wreckage Lyrics
Speeding
Into the horizon
Dreaming of the siren
Wishing for her broken glass on the highway
It could be so easy

The rhythm
Rhythm of an engine
Always makes me empty
I see the headlights coming at me
I can't help but wonder

Flying
Flying in slow motion
Wind through my hair
And ripping through the scene that's made of the wreckage
It is not a secret

Speeding
Into the horizon
Dreaming of the siren
Wishing for her broken glass on the highway
It could be so easy

Have you ever noticed how the majority of the population of North America is technically not American, but European? Even most Mexicans can trace ancestry to Spain. So technically the only people who have a right to get annoyed at people invading other's countries are the Native Americans aand...I don't know what the name of the people in Mexico are. Europeans just have to claim and ruin everything. Like the British, Spainiards, etc, ect taking America from the Native Americans, the Belgians dividing Rwanda and not coming back when the two groups started killing each other, the British (I think...?) completely screwing up Burma's govornment and then just leaving...the list goes on. I hate these stupid domination complexes or whatever they are. People need to get over themselves.

I AM FREAKING PISSED OFF!!! I feel betrayed, I feel used, I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT!! If I could scream right now I freaking would. I can still feel the icy hot in my arm where I started pulling at it with my nails. When I finally realized what I was doing, I only pulled more. What's happening? I've never been so wicked mad at anyone it my entire life. Screw the world. I'm done with it. Just shoot me, please

Wow, so...I had a fun day today. Woke up at around 6:30am to go downtown with Jean, Sierra and Gabby. After mom and Jean dropped us off, we walked down to Sakura Square, theeeen we shopped all around the mercantile, then meandered down 16th street mall, then went back to Sakura had lunch at Yoko's (Oishii desu ne!!), then got more money from Jean to go see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory a second time, then took the light rail to the bus (Sierra rode further on the light rail than us at that point >>), then took the bus to Garrison-ish, and walked home with Gabby. Yay! And what better way to end the day with Thai food? *sighs dreamily* The only downside is that I got a tan around where the strap of my kaban was on my shoulder -.- It's very interesting looking, I can tell you that

People make me sick. Seriously...sick. Not like the whole 'I'm disgusted' deal, but this nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach that sometimes makes me gag. Because of it, I stand over a sink every other week, thinking I'm going to vomit. You can choose not to believe me, since you can't feel what I do, but I really don't want to feel that way ever again. I think the only times I feel like that now is when I think of my ex. Not because he was bad, but (I'm risking sounding vain, so don't take it the wrong way...) I felt like sometimes he obsessed over me. I remember I went away for a few hours, and when I got back, the caller ID said he called 10 times. That was the worst of it I'd had in months. I think I actually did throw up that time. I need to get away from all this. I'm not bulemic, thank you. I'm just ready to make a different life for myself.

There was only silence. It shook him from his dreaming state into a world he worked so hard to get away from. The sky outside the cold glass of his window was only beginning to lighten. He tried to roll over in his covers, but he was too restless to stay put. He rose from the bed and sloppily dressed himself. Pulling on the last button of his shirt, he crept through the quiet halls, sparing only time for a large yawn. Slipping through the screen door in the front, he listened to the crunch of the wintry, chilled grass beneath his feet, newly frozen from an onset of frost that came that night. He stopped at the peak of the hill outside his house. The sun had just risen. It should have been a beautiful rusty-gold, but in his world, there was nothing but black and white. Blank eyes staring at the sky, he wonders..."What am I doing with my life...?"

Okay, I know you're all going to think I'm wierd, but I'm actually beginning to miss school. It feels like all the Japanese I've learned is slowly slipping away from me, and I'm really starting to miss all the people I haven't seen yet this summer -.- I think the only thing I don't miss is history and homework

I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it!!!! People, suicide is stupid! You should at least try to live through now if your is crappy at this point, because I can gurarantee you that it will get better. Who knows, maybe you could help change someone else's life just by telling them 'hey, I know what you're going through. Just keep being strong, it'll pay off for you.' But if you end up killing yourself, you're not giving much hope to any person you might have met in the future, and especially not the people who care about you. So many of you are in denial about that, too; 'oh, nobody cares about me...' GUESS WHAT?!?!?! Every single person on this whole wasted planet has at least one person who cares so deeply about you that they would put their life in danger for your sake (which rarely occurs, but though the phrase is cliche, please at least attempt to recall why it is said so much in the first place. Someone willing to die for someone else is a precious and powerful thing).

Just remember all that, okay?

Soo...at some point I saw Madagascar, which I was like, 'oh, it's okay' at first, but then it started progressing more and more into that stupid Hollywood layout, and I seriously was just turning my head and looking away because I am so sick and tired of the stupid happy endings where everyone's problems get solved and everyone is happy and cracking jokes at the end, and they aren't even emotionally scarred by the trauma that they went though, even though they should have been. If I were to have written the script for that movie, I would end it in one of these ways: Way 1: have the lion live his life alone without his friends, eating only the whathoozamazits that terrorized the lemurs, therefore satisfying his lonely, aching heart by at least knowing he is helping the lemurs; Way 2: the lion could eat all his friends, then live out the rest of his life psychotic and depressed; and Way 3: The lion ends up meeting back up with his friends and eating fish anyways, but he becomes lonely and pensive, and avoids his friends, because he knows that he could still attack them at any moment, and still fears hurting them, even though he has a small, but abundant food source. What do you think? Personally, there is no way for me to comprehend that anything other than, or worse than Way 3 could happen, because you don't just try to murder your friend, then both of you completely forget about it. That's why I don't see so many movies anymore, it's because they are sooooo structured in the way that every other movie is!!! That's why I like movies like To Live, Together, Moulin Rouge and Autumn Spring, just because they aren't simply beginning, problem, resolve (also because only Moulin Rouge is American, too >>). Poo upon it all, I'm going to bed...

AAAH!!! I think my old crush is coming back to me--in full force >> I kinda saw him the other day, and I was like, 'Holy crap! He's gorgeous!' Man, let someone alone for a month or so and look what happens... >>

People! If you're going to say something deep, poetic or meaningful, at least do a favor to yourself and the rest of us and spell it right!! _-_

http://www.amnesty.org/actnow/

Please go there and sign the petition for Myanmar!

It's making me worried, because I keep seeing all this stuff about Burma and this political prisoner stuff, and I know several people who live in Thailand and were born in Burma. Since it's illegal for them to have left Burma, I'm really scared for them. Please sign this--I don't know if it will work since it's an American thing (I think), but it only takes a few minutes, so you might as well do it.

Aaahh!! Don't know why, but I was watching that new 'Instant star' show on The N and I think I want to cut& color my hair like that girl who plays Jude. She has my dream hair, no kidding. Plus the guy who plays Jamie is gorgeous!! Not to mention Tom or whatever his name is (an Orlando Bloom sundae dripping in Johnny Depp or however they described him). Yes, I thought it was important enough for you all to know. I wish I had a camera right now. Stupid American cliche-clique groups are really starting to get on my nerves. End of story.