[the Indigo]'s diary

687573  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-10-25
Written: (6971 days ago)

    Deep in the backwaters of Alabama, near the dusty Civil War infirmary on Sabbath way, the creaky old McKinstry house lay, built by the hands of Old Man McKinstry himself. The kids in Piedmont admired the McKinstrys, mostly on account of their daughter, Alexandra (or Miss Alexie, as was popular among the townsfolk). That girl could play the piano, and filled the local bar up every night (except for Sunday, of course).




aaaand....cue writers block >>



I know how it's going to end, and I kinda know what's going to happen in the middle, I'm just having problems getting there.

Erm...if you have any ideas, please help

686178  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-10-23
Written: (6974 days ago)

Cake - Friend is a Four-Letter Word


To me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word.
End is the only part of the word
That I heard.
Call me morbid or absurd.
But to me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word.
To me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word.
End is the only part of the word
That I heard.
Call me morbid or absurd.
But to me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word.

When I go fishing for the words
I am wishing you would say to me,
I'm really only praying
That the words you'll soon be saying
Might betray the way you feel about me.

But to me, coming from you,
Friend is a four letter word.

676015  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2005-10-04
Written: (6993 days ago)
Next in thread: 677866
675861  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-10-03
Written: (6993 days ago)



lyrics;jp;song;blow






蜜のように甘く
蜜のように甘く,しかし私の中で燃える
私はあなたに,ほかにもっとできることがあると言おうとした
あなたは私の秘密に気づき,遠くへ行ってしまった
そして,日に日に,痛みが私を満たしてゆく
ああ,死にそう


誰かの目にあなたがこっそり微笑みかけるのを見てしまった
そしてそれは、私の心にある快楽を引き裂いた
ああ,死にそう


私を見ていてくれれば,淋しくはない
あなたが私に触れていてくれるなら,私は虚しくない
だけど,私がしてもらったことは,ただそれだけ


あなたのせいで,私は死にそう


あなたの心を砂糖漬けにする
私はあなたなんかにひっかかったりしないわ
私の目が青いうちはね
モーションをかければうまくゆくなんて思わないで
私に孤独なスリルを感じていさせて
私に夢中にならないで
別の種類の快楽なんだから
私は,あなたの心を砂糖漬けにしてあげたくて,ここにいるだ


どうやったらあなたの虚ろな気持ちを満たしてあげられるかし
私はどれだけの時間尽くせばいいの?


どう思うか聞かせてくれない?
今を逃せば2度とはないわ
私の無邪気な微笑みから,どれだけあなたは奪えるの


私に夢中にならないで
別の種類の快楽なんだから
私は,あなたの心を砂糖漬けにしてあげたくて,ここにいるだ


メンジュラル
振り返っちゃだめ
私にはよく分からないけれど
でも私は心で密かに愛してきた
ずっともの悲しかった
だから言うの


(コーラス)

どこに隠れていいか知ってるし
どこで微笑んだらいいかも知ってるわ


私が絶対に打ち明けられないって言ったら
あなたはなんて言うの?
恋人みたいに
そんなことで気を揉んだりしなくてもいいの
絶対にそんなことはないし
私たちはまたこうして一緒にい
暗い考えを分けあっているし
私たちはこうして一緒にいて
心から血を流しているから


(コーラス)


ああ,もう1度キスして
そうしたらはっきり分かる
きっと私はあなたの心にすべてを返してあげる
あなたが気分が悪くなるくらい


(コーラス)


いないいないばあ
いないいない,いないいないば
私はあなたのとりこ.あまりにも急に
あなたは私を手のひらでぐるぐる回している
あなたの心の冷たい片隅で,私は泣き叫ぶ
そして私はずっとここにいた
あなたがこの世の全て
そして私にとってはそれ以上.私には.私には


いないいないばあ


私の恐れは,あなたの魅力の中に消えてゆく
美しい小さいものたち,私はただ夢見ているだけ



終わりのない虚ろな日々を私は投げつける
まさにあなたに向かって


いないいないばあ


海と青空
海よ
私を閉じ込めて
私を見つめて
ゆっくりと,溺れさせて


青空よ
私を連れ去って
でもあなたの目は奪い取ってしまった
私のすべてを


この海は私の世界
ここに至る道はない
あなたの写真もない
あの,あなたの恐ろしいイメー


その肌が変化を感じ取ったとき
あなたが流した涙の訳を話してくれることを
どんなに私は望んだことでしょ
どうしてあなたはそんなに残酷になれるの?
私に,美しい肌で


どうして私に優しくしてくれなんて言えるの?
私にできるわけないでしょう
私の内面が引き裂かれるとき…


青空よ
私を連れ去って
でもあなたの目は,青空を私から奪い取ってしまった


私について来て
もし私が,将来を約束しなかったとしても
あなたは私の腕の中にいてくれる?
私にはあなたなしの世界は想像できない
そして,全ては影の中に閉ざされる
私を心から,じっと見つめてくれる?
お願いだから言って
私について来てくれるって


(コーラス)
だから,あなたがここにいてくれるなら
私の心の中にいてくれるなら
私は何でもする
だから,私はあなたを,肌の奥深くまで見つめていたい


7つの海を航海してくれる?
そのときは,私とずっと一緒にいてくれる?
私の夢を彩ってくれる?
私を心から,じっと見つめてくれる?
お願いだから言って
私について来てくれるって


(コーラス)


桜んぼの星がぶつかりあう
あなたは私を高く高く空の上まで連れて行く
私のよく知ってる場所だから
私はそこで見つかるものもよく知っている
全てのものが野性的で,とっても楽しい


私は桜んぼの星がみんなぶつかりあうのを観察するの
そしてそのたび,私はちょっとだけ死ぬの
でも気にしない
色彩に目がくらむ


私を信じて
私はあなたを肌の奥底まで吸い込むわ
そこでは私の愛がうずいている
ただあなたに触れるだけなのに
私はあなたの中のずっと奥深くにゆける


二人は流れ,流れて行く
あなたが私の上に転がり落ちてくるたびに



洞窟の中の頭
そしてまた,あなたといるのに,まるで孤独だと気付いた
私のすることを振り返ってみたとき
ほとんど全て,私のためにつくしてきたのだと
あなたは思っているみたい
だけど,もう一度考えて
それは今に始まったことじゃないんだから


そして,私の顔をつたって落ちる涙
ただ,私の肌の下で這い続けていて
私が何をしたっていうの?


もう私は話したくない
話すことは何も残ってないから
あなたが私を見ていてくれないと思うと
私は遠くに身を隠したくなる


あなたの元から去ってゆきたくなる
そして,私の顔をつたって落ちる涙
私の肌の下を這ってうごめく涙
671708  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-09-26
Written: (7001 days ago)

God, I've been trying to solve all the pain in my life for weeks now, and it's been getting me nowhere.

I've been so emotionally unstable, it truly scares me...

What happened to me...? I was never like this before.

I can't eat. I have trouble sleeping. I'm constantly either feeling like I'm going to vomit or cry.

And someone needs to tell my parents to stop nagging me on going to church. It's not like it's pursuading me anymore to have people claiming to be christians act the way they do. That's their excuse for everything anymore: "that's not in God's plan."

I'm sick of life.

It's too bad all the knives in our house are dull. Not even kidding. I can't even slice a tomato properly with them.

God, my life is pathetic




Artist:Skillet
Album:Collide
Song:
In the dark with the music on
Wishing I was somewhere else
Taking all your anger out on me, somebody help
I would rather rot alone
Then spend a minute with you
I'm gone, I'm gone

And you can't stop me from falling apart
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault

How could you, how could you, how could you hate me?
When all I ever wanted to be was you?
How could you, how could you, how could you love me?
When all you ever gave me were open wounds?
Downstairs the enemy sleeps
Leaving the TV on
Watching all the dreams we had turn into static
Doesn't matter what I do
Nothing's gonna change
I'm never good enough

And you can't stop me from falling apart
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault

Tell me why you broke me down and betrayed my trust in you
I'm not giving up, giving in
when will this war end? 
You can't stop me from falling apart
'Cause my self-destruction is all your fault.

642470  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-08-10
Written: (7048 days ago)

You know you go to the library too much when the ladies who work there know you on a first-name basis...>>

639024  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-08-04
Written: (7053 days ago)

Name:[someelf]
ET Race: Mix of an Elf (She mostly looks like an Elf)/human/angel. With the age around 165 (Looks 20 or younger.)
Occupation: A healer, and helper of the good, (housewife too.) Please with all kinds of magik. And learns to move thing's with her mind.
Weapon of Choice (you can only have 2 weapons): A dwarf-handmade dagger and a 'Water'sword (Gived my the waterfairy's).


(Looks: )She has a long blue dress, with a white corset, her mightnight boots fit with her outfit, her long hair, usealy in a tail or else in a branch, or just hanin' around goes above her butt. As in her fighting outfit, she wears a Chineese skirt/ or dress. Whichever she feels like. It's green/blue of colour. And her small greenish shoos fit with each outfit she wears. Her belt makes her more un-innocent. Which the belt carries a hand-made dagger and 'Water'sword on each side. Her hair in a high-ponytail and in each outfit she always has a blue crystal flower in her hair.
She has small lil' wings, they start with midnight blue and end with a sort of white/light blue.


I took this from my char of a RP o.o
From: black arrow:someelf



[Neko the Kitty]

*noir style*

she has light blonde hair, grey eyes and pale skin
um....a dark grey but not black hoodey and maybe jeans?oh, she always wears the necklace on the pic of her
http://elftown.lysator.liu.se/img/drawing/15097_1122427293.jpg


[Keseken]

I want a picture of a guy just kinda standing on a white backround, kinda looking like he's posing, not wearing a shirt. His jeans should be black and relitively loose, off the belt loops there should be either chains or a pair of hand-cuffs. He's not really muscular, he's just kinda lithe. about 5'8". He's really pale with a small tatoo of a ankh on his left shoulder and another small one of an arrow with wings going through a ring. His hair is kinda messy, a soft brown sugar color, not red at all. His eyes are a really deep blue framed by nice lashes. He has fine eyebrows and not really thick lips but not thin ones. Where his normal ears should be, he has brownish black jackle ears instead. They should have at least one peircing in each ear. He should be wearing a black opal pendant, and have a silver barbell in one nipple. If you can, he also has black feathery wings. Is that good for what you need as far as desctriptions go?


[Ri'hala]


Gender: female


Face: smooth, somewhat pale skin, sculpted lips.


Hair: glossy, waist length, raven-black


Eyes: piercing, crystal blue almost like blue ice. (putting a pupil in is optional, lol)

Wings: huge compared to her, brilliant white with a silvery hue


Build: Slender, yet well muscled and strong


Outfits: dark red bodice (almost black), with leather straps across the front. The bodice doesn't reveal too much cleavage, just a modest amount, and has thin spaghetti straps. It sweeps down low in the back, nearly to her lower back, giving her wings room to maneuver. black leather (matte, not shiny)pants with a crisscrossed sword belt and knee-high black boots covered in buckles, with the tip and heel plated in steel.


[enter somethin witty here]

 
hi I have the details on what I would like my drawling to look like:


Me with big smile and waving with long brown hair brown eyes, freckles everywhere but not to much, whereing a light green shirt with chockoe kitty on the shirt and whereing bagy brown pants, with a white blet and brown etnies shoes


*If your dont understand something or this is to much for you to do then tell me and I will change. thank you! ^^

636645  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2005-08-01
Written: (7057 days ago)

Vanessa Carlton - The Wreckage Lyrics
Speeding
Into the horizon
Dreaming of the siren
Wishing for her broken glass on the highway
It could be so easy

The rhythm
Rhythm of an engine
Always makes me empty
I see the headlights coming at me
I can't help but wonder

Flying
Flying in slow motion
Wind through my hair
And ripping through the scene that's made of the wreckage
It is not a secret

Speeding
Into the horizon
Dreaming of the siren
Wishing for her broken glass on the highway
It could be so easy

630831  Link to this entry 
Written about Sunday 2005-07-24
Written: (7065 days ago)

Have you ever noticed how the majority of the population of North America is technically not American, but European? Even most Mexicans can trace ancestry to Spain. So technically the only people who have a right to get annoyed at people invading other's countries are the Native Americans aand...I don't know what the name of the people in Mexico are. Europeans just have to claim and ruin everything. Like the British, Spainiards, etc, ect taking America from the Native Americans, the Belgians dividing Rwanda and not coming back when the two groups started killing each other, the British (I think...?) completely screwing up Burma's govornment and then just leaving...the list goes on. I hate these stupid domination complexes or whatever they are. People need to get over themselves.

630048  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-07-23
Written: (7066 days ago)

I AM FREAKING PISSED OFF!!! I feel betrayed, I feel used, I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT!! If I could scream right now I freaking would. I can still feel the icy hot in my arm where I started pulling at it with my nails. When I finally realized what I was doing, I only pulled more. What's happening? I've never been so wicked mad at anyone it my entire life. Screw the world. I'm done with it. Just shoot me, please

630020  Link to this entry 
Written about Saturday 2005-07-23
Written: (7066 days ago)

Wow, so...I had a fun day today. Woke up at around 6:30am to go downtown with Jean, Sierra and Gabby. After mom and Jean dropped us off, we walked down to Sakura Square, theeeen we shopped all around the mercantile, then meandered down 16th street mall, then went back to Sakura had lunch at Yoko's (Oishii desu ne!!), then got more money from Jean to go see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory a second time, then took the light rail to the bus (Sierra rode further on the light rail than us at that point >>), then took the bus to Garrison-ish, and walked home with Gabby. Yay! And what better way to end the day with Thai food? *sighs dreamily* The only downside is that I got a tan around where the strap of my kaban was on my shoulder -.- It's very interesting looking, I can tell you that

628233  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-07-21
Written: (7068 days ago)

People make me sick. Seriously...sick. Not like the whole 'I'm disgusted' deal, but this nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach that sometimes makes me gag. Because of it, I stand over a sink every other week, thinking I'm going to vomit. You can choose not to believe me, since you can't feel what I do, but I really don't want to feel that way ever again. I think the only times I feel like that now is when I think of my ex. Not because he was bad, but (I'm risking sounding vain, so don't take it the wrong way...) I felt like sometimes he obsessed over me. I remember I went away for a few hours, and when I got back, the caller ID said he called 10 times. That was the worst of it I'd had in months. I think I actually did throw up that time. I need to get away from all this. I'm not bulemic, thank you. I'm just ready to make a different life for myself.

628088  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-07-20
Written: (7068 days ago)

There was only silence. It shook him from his dreaming state into a world he worked so hard to get away from. The sky outside the cold glass of his window was only beginning to lighten. He tried to roll over in his covers, but he was too restless to stay put. He rose from the bed and sloppily dressed himself. Pulling on the last button of his shirt, he crept through the quiet halls, sparing only time for a large yawn. Slipping through the screen door in the front, he listened to the crunch of the wintry, chilled grass beneath his feet, newly frozen from an onset of frost that came that night. He stopped at the peak of the hill outside his house. The sun had just risen. It should have been a beautiful rusty-gold, but in his world, there was nothing but black and white. Blank eyes staring at the sky, he wonders..."What am I doing with my life...?"

627450  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2005-07-20
Written: (7069 days ago)
Next in thread: 627777

Okay, I know you're all going to think I'm wierd, but I'm actually beginning to miss school. It feels like all the Japanese I've learned is slowly slipping away from me, and I'm really starting to miss all the people I haven't seen yet this summer -.- I think the only thing I don't miss is history and homework

623685  Link to this entry 
Written about Friday 2005-07-15
Written: (7074 days ago)

I hate it. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it!!!! People, suicide is stupid! You should at least try to live through now if your is crappy at this point, because I can gurarantee you that it will get better. Who knows, maybe you could help change someone else's life just by telling them 'hey, I know what you're going through. Just keep being strong, it'll pay off for you.' But if you end up killing yourself, you're not giving much hope to any person you might have met in the future, and especially not the people who care about you. So many of you are in denial about that, too; 'oh, nobody cares about me...' GUESS WHAT?!?!?! Every single person on this whole wasted planet has at least one person who cares so deeply about you that they would put their life in danger for your sake (which rarely occurs, but though the phrase is cliche, please at least attempt to recall why it is said so much in the first place. Someone willing to die for someone else is a precious and powerful thing).

Just remember all that, okay?

622736  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2005-07-14
Written: (7075 days ago)

Soo...at some point I saw Madagascar, which I was like, 'oh, it's okay' at first, but then it started progressing more and more into that stupid Hollywood layout, and I seriously was just turning my head and looking away because I am so sick and tired of the stupid happy endings where everyone's problems get solved and everyone is happy and cracking jokes at the end, and they aren't even emotionally scarred by the trauma that they went though, even though they should have been. If I were to have written the script for that movie, I would end it in one of these ways: Way 1: have the lion live his life alone without his friends, eating only the whathoozamazits that terrorized the lemurs, therefore satisfying his lonely, aching heart by at least knowing he is helping the lemurs; Way 2: the lion could eat all his friends, then live out the rest of his life psychotic and depressed; and Way 3: The lion ends up meeting back up with his friends and eating fish anyways, but he becomes lonely and pensive, and avoids his friends, because he knows that he could still attack them at any moment, and still fears hurting them, even though he has a small, but abundant food source. What do you think? Personally, there is no way for me to comprehend that anything other than, or worse than Way 3 could happen, because you don't just try to murder your friend, then both of you completely forget about it. That's why I don't see so many movies anymore, it's because they are sooooo structured in the way that every other movie is!!! That's why I like movies like To Live, Together, Moulin Rouge and Autumn Spring, just because they aren't simply beginning, problem, resolve (also because only Moulin Rouge is American, too >>). Poo upon it all, I'm going to bed...

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