[*Corona*] :

If I never see you again
Or hear from you again
I'll die right next to you
In the end.
I promise babe.

U know, there are so many good things that can come out of this place, and so many bad things that can come out of this place. It really makes you think. Sometimes you just get so pissed off that you never want to come back; some stay and some go. I really don't know what to do now. I'm really involved with this place. I have alot of friends on here that I talk to to just get up and go, but things get so bad sometimes that I just want to say fuck it. I really don't know what to do. I don't think that I'm really going to be on here anymore. Things are just too fucking... fucked up. I don't fuckin know.

[f.u.c]

I want to talk to her so badly right now :"( I know shes hurting, but i want to be strong about it too. I know it would be the right thing to do, just give in and call her and try and makes things better. but I'm NOT doing any online pimping. I don't know what to do, but this fucking sucks royal dick ! ! ! I miss you [*Corona*] :(~ And its only been an hour. Someone tell me what i should do :(~

I hate my dad. I love my mom. I would do anything for my mom. And i have, from repairs on this house to carpet and furniture and food so she could live a descent life :") and my dad just has to keep fucking her over :"( I don't know what to do to get him to pay my mom. I hate him :"(

*tears* ... .. .

¤ I think I just lost a good friend, more like by best friend for being in love with someone. Is that right or wrong ? I guess she made that decision and if she can't respect that then that's her problem. I just wish that she didn't leave me for good.

¤ Waiting for a [different] day :"(

Hoobastank 'The Reason'
*cries*
i'm not a perfect person. there are many things i wish i didnt do
but i continue learning. i never meant to do those things to you.
and so i have to say before i go, that i just want you to know

i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you

i'm sorry that i hurt, its something i must live with everyday
and all the pain i put you through, i wish that i could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears, thats why i need you to hear

i'm not a perfect person, i never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go that i just want you to know

i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you
i've found a reason to show a side of me you didnt know
a reason for all that i do, and the reason is you

*I know that the poem below this is kinda outta tune, but it was just a bunch of random feelings. I cant explain how I feel, and how much i love, and how much I want back. The poem was a spur of the moment kinda thing. but as long as its my feelings and it had meaning, thats all that matters.

*I dont know why I cut things off with her and I. Maybe I felt like I needed a break, or that I needed some time away. But, I didnt realize that then. I cant beleive I did that, let her go. I love her so much. I dont think I could have let her go if I wasnt so tired. Right after I did, i went to bed. I didnt want to think of what i just did. but everday I still think about it. still think about her, and what we had, and what we wanted. 

*I really think Im going to ask her back out. I hope she will take my back :"( *Cries* I fucked things all up, and then I had to fuck it up so much more by letting her go like that. 

*I want you back babe, I dont know what to say. im crying right now. I love you. I always have and Im always going to. Please tell me you love me too :"(

Thinking of the past, and what I used to have
The love of my life, I let out of my grasp

I miss you so much
And think of you, night and day
I hope that I can get the chance
To give you another day

I know things weren't the best
By I still dream of you, resting on my chest
Holding me tight, forever and for always

I Love you babe
Always have, and always will
I Love you babe
Im sorry our Love I had to kill

My feelings are still strong, more now then ever before
It makes me wonder, why I pushed you out my door

I want you in my arms
tonight, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life
I want you in my arms, and I want you as my wife

Im almost in tears now, remeniscing the past
Of what we had together, and what I wish we still had.
Come back to me babe, I cant take another day
Knowing you're not mine, knowing you're ok
Without me

*tears stream down his face*

I miss, I hug you; I kiss you, I love you

You know who you are, and for those of you who dont... .. . Im talking about Rebecca {A.K.A} [*Corona*]

*guess what ? Hailey comes back today ^.^ JOY :) ) )~ I havent talked to her for soooooooo long :" ) Im going to love it, im hoping that shes on by the time that I get back from work. And if shes not Im going to cry cuz I dont want to wait another day :" ( I miss you babez. hurry home.

Much [f.u.c]ing Love

Kill you ! Fuck you ! I will never be you !

U fucking touch me I'll rip you apart ! u drunk FUCK ! ! !

*Whats up everyone that actually reads this O.o o.O J I know you do ;)~ thanx man. I know Rebecca does ^.^ Thanx babez. Well I just found out that PeyPey means little mule :)P I guess its true, I'm kinda like a little mule when it comes to women. They ride me all the [f.u.c] over, like I was a mule to them :)P And then I get [f.u.c]ed over even more. U have to love women, dont you?

*Well, I have to go pick rock's for a good 5 or 6 hours this morning. Its quarter to eight right now, and Jeremy is coming to pick me up in about an hour. After I get done with that Im going to have to work at Diggers. I'm going to have Jeremy bring me in at 2 so I get some more hours in, but Im going to ask if I can get off of work around 8 or 9 though.

*I think I'm going to be sick and It's your fault

I knew I Loved you :" (

[f.u.c]

Part of : Slipknot / Everything Ends

What the hell am I doing?
Is there anyone left in my life?
What the fuck was I thinking?
Anybody want to tell me I'm fine?
Where the hell am I going?
Do I even need a reason to hide?
I am only betrayed
I am only conditioned to die

Me and my girl, we got this relationship. I love her so bad but she treats me like..... on lock down like a penitentery.
she spreads her lovin' all over and when she get home there's none left for me.

Sublime~Sublime

For the man that was never there for me... .. .I fucking hate you, dad.

Slipknot
"You fucking touch me I'll rip you apart"

Korn
"Nursery rhymes are said, verses in my head
Into my childhood they're spoonfed
Hidden violence revealed, darkness that seems real
Look at the pages that cause all this evil "

"This old man came rolling home"

... .. .Should I pray for this hate to go away?

*JUST FUCKING FUCK IT -.- DAMN ! ! !

Colds 'Bleed'

Bleed

I'm feelin' crossed I take it inside
Burn up the pain, my thoughts are strange
Just like the things I used to love
Just like the tree that fell, I heard it
If art is still inside, I feel it
I wanna bleed, show the world all that I have inside
I wanna scream, let the blood flow that keeps me alive
Take all those strings they call my veins
Wrap them around every f*cking thing
Presence of people not for me
Well, I must remain in tune forever
My love is music, I will marry melody
I wanna bleed, show the world all that I have inside
I wanna scream, let the blood flow that keeps me alive
I wanna scream, I wanna bleed
Won't you let me take you for a ride
You can stop the world try to change my mind
Won't you let me show you how it feels?
You can stop the world
But you won't change me
I need music to set me free
To let me bleed

*Ok, my dad is drunk as shit, but that dont matter now... hes not talking to me ;)~ He might be dead, but thats fine. He shouldnt drink like that :)P All in all I love my mum :)

*And Hailey just left me :( She went to Malta. I think Im going to go hunt her down right now ;)~ Coudnt em, 14 days from today? I forgot the date she told me 0.0 How do I figure out what we were talking about on this MSN piece of shit!?!?!

[f.u.c]