:'( *there goes my butthead* )':
Without a sound . WITHOUT A SOUND . And I wish you away
Have you ever seen god ? :(
[f.u.c]
I feel like i'm seconds away from dying :( like my heart is going to sieze up on me :( my chest hurts really bad . like i'm going to have a heart attack soon :( idk whats going on but i know that i dont like it :( i hope i feel better :( its times like these that just make me wish something would happen right now :( it hurts soooooooo much .........mm fuck !
I feel better . I'm sorry if i scared anyone . I was just sad . I'm really sorry
I'm ready to die
I'm really getting saddened about this relationship thing . I dont think i'm ever going to find someone i'm going to fall in love with . every time i think i found that someone ... something bad happens . i get cheated on alot, cuz i'd like to know that i'm going to be with that someone in my life for a while before i have sex with them . so . . . instead of waiting for me ... they cheat on me . EVERY FUCKING TIME :"( I dont know what i'm going to do . I say i'm just going to work on my music, but sometimes it gets to me . really... i have no friends around here any more :( either i dumped them or they dumped me . so i have noone to hang out with... and if i did hang out with someone... i'd just be going around doing bad things ... i dont like going out alone and doing things... but i dont like going out with people that are going to get me into trouble or people that could potentially get me in trouble . I got lucky that Emily came along in my life ... but obviously she wasnt the one ... and i completely regret having sex with her . .. that was a big mistake :( i just feel like everything is crashing down on me =\ the only thing good thats happened to me is the band thing ... but the people that are in the band are all into bad things too ... i cant fucking win . .. i hate my life :'( i dont know what to do . i think theres no point to it . . i hate my dad, he makes me feel like nothing... tho we can get along sometimes .. i know he doesnt like me . i dont ever talk to anyone else in my family . . . noone ever calls me . . . :( i hate this ): everything's fucking pointless . i really really need a hug right now :'(
[f.u.c]
I need a hug :(
I still Love you Rebecca .
All I have to say is I miss my babe :"( I dunno what's going on but I don't like it :(~ I Love you [*Corona*]
There are a few new things to talk about :)P I feel fuckin funny talking in this thing . No response . I think, more than likely i'm going to have to move out . Not kewl :)P But I'm learning a song that's making me feel better . It's NoDoubt's 'Don't Speak' . I only like the intro and the solo though . The chorus really sux . That's about it .
[*Corona*] and [f.u.c] foerever and for always ^,^
Now for the good part of my diary that I completely forgot about. The drummer from 'The Vibe' {band I may play lead guitar for} wants to start another band. I'm sooo going to name this band 'MoodwinG'. This could be fucking GREAT ! ! ! And I think thats all that there is to tell you. Last night, I didnt get to talk to my babe cuz I had a band practice out at Garcias. I think we're going to start practicing alot more now. I'm not sure. Well to start I missed talking to my babe soooooo much last night. I really want to hear her voice now. but I've got to go to work at 4 and she's not done with her tennis thingy until 4 :(~ and it's friday and she prolly working tonight too :(~ Anyways. First good practice session for a long time was last night. With Garcia and I. We came up with a few new things. And found out that his ??? kereohkey ??? {and we're supposed to sound shit out ? ? ?} machine records live sound :)~ Rock on.
[*Corona*] and [f.u.c] forever and for always.
*he looks into his babes eyes and says softly "I'll always Love you Rebecca" moments before giving her a mind-blowing kisson the lips*
This sux. My babe and I really haven't been talking lately :(~ It's like we both have busy schedules ... .. . and by the time we do get to talk we're both tired. And... I think theres something wrong with her :(~ Like... I feel like she's drifting away from me. I know that she's busy. She has her life and I respect that. My babe can do what she wants. But ... when I talk to her on the fone ... I really don't feel the Love coming from her. Maybe it makes sense that I'm not. But all I know is it's making me as sad as can be.
[I Love you Babe.]
[f.u.c]
Hmmmm :)~ I just had to get on to tell my Babe [*Corona*] that I love her ^,^ And to upload that new pic :)P
o.O Nothing new. Some new guitar riffs but that's about it :)P Talk to you peoples later.
[f.u.c] & [*Corona*] forever and for always.
*holds my babe snugglified in my arms, stares into her eyes ... and starts telling her how much I Love her*
[~(: Well I'm pretty fucking bored :)~] Waiting for my babe to call me right now... prolly going to practice my guitar for a while til she calls. Nothing new. Today iZzZzZz Monday, and I talked to Byron {The guitarist for 'The Vibe' ... retarted name ;)~} and I thought him and I were going to practice today... but he wants to wait til the drummer gets back from the cities... so.... it's going to be a few days :)P . Later .
[f.u.c] I Love my [*Corona*] ! ! !
Well it's 12:19 p.m and I have nothing to do :"(~ Today, my babe gets to talk on the fone again ^,^ it's about time. I was waiting for her to get online, but I'm taking it that she had to work today at 11. I really miss her :(~ i hope she comes back to me soon, cuz I wanna talk to my babe NOW :"(~ I love you Rebecca *kisses my babe gently on the lips and then holds her tight in my arms*
[*Corona*] and [f.u.c]
Forever and for always
I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe I Love my Babe .
I love you Rebecca :)~ We're going to be together... forever ^,^
Well, yesterday I went for an audition as lead guitarist :)~ They said I was better than the rest of the guitarists that they'd met, and that they want to talk to me again on saturday. Which is my next day off. AND EVEN MORE EXCITING I get to talk to my babe again ! ! ! !! ! I've been waiting for fricking ever to talk to her again, just to hear her voice for more than a second a time.
Their guitarist started playing one of their songs, and he told me just to through some things in if I want. And I did. And he loved it. Theres another song he wants me to collaberate with on saturday. I'm thinking that things are going to go great, and I might be going to the cities to record with them :)~ I know this is outta place in my paragragh but thats alright, I'm tired :)P But the band sounds exactly like Nirvana ^.^ This is going to be awesome. Also the guitarist showed me the beginning to one of his songs and I got that down in about a minute :)P Things are looking good so far :)~
Well, It's been fiteen minutes and I really really really really really really really really really really really really really miss my babe :"( It's so sad )": I'm only going to be able to talk to her once a day until saturday, for an hour at a time :"( I miss hearing your voice babe :"( Hurry up and come back to me. Can't wait til talk to you til 5 in the morning again ^,^ j/k. You're NOT going to get into any more trouble. This sux. I just wanna talk to YOU and I can't :"( Alright, my babe is so nice. After all that SHE'S went through... all the lying and whatnot that I gave her... she's still letting me talk to my friends. :)P sounds funny, No ? I mean... 3 times... all happened over the net and she's still letting me on here. I love you babe. Theres no going wrong this time.
I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. U know how you were talking about how you still thought about us getting married and living a life together... well i still think og those things to. I'm thinking it right now. And I'm going to be thinking of it everyday until that time comes. And once we're married I'm going to think of how much I love you and how I can't wait to wake up the next morning lying next to you. Maybe starring :)P at you while you're still sleeping and then hold you tight in my arms until you wake up. Awwwwwwwwww I love it babe :) ) )~ I just wish time would hurry the frick up ! ! !
Ummmm I learned some Deftones on my guitar. Thats all thats new.