for everyone thats reading this . thanks :')
all of you have been so wonderful . and have made my life so much better (': i'm sorry if i've hurt anyone . and i'm sorry if i hurt anyone with this goodbye . i've got to move on and live life :') even though i dont want to :'( i dont want to leave any of you . you've been so great to me . you're all just the most wonderful people :) good luck in life everyone *hugs*

February 27, 2005

Today we finished our song . We dont have a name for it . Again ... the singers are debating on how theyre going to name the song . But.. al in all , the song is done and on wednesday we're going to start our third song . That one is already planned out . we just have to throw the parts together ^^ so by the end of the week we should have three songs :) thats all i have to say :D:D:D

[February 23, 2005]

[ALRIGHT ! ! ! Still no fucking name lol BUT . The name of our first song is 'Support' . We decided to drop our second song and work on that one later . NOW we started and finnished what would've been our 3rd song ... but our singers are having problems naming things :P one wants to name the song by some of the lyrics that are put into the song and the other wants to name it by what the song has to do with .. anyways .. we finnished the song .. just i dont know the name :P AND we started what would've been our 4th song already .. and got the basics of that one down . So yea .. we're good to go . Our next practice is Sunday the 27th . After that we should have 3 songs made :D I'm talking to them about getting a studio or something so that I can show everyone our songs . TRUST me .. anyone that loves metal is going to love is :D:D:D:D we are so fucking kikbutt :P]

February 21, 2005

I know it's been some time sence I updated this ... lol i'm so lazy :P but here's whats new with the band ^,^ STILL HAVENT DECIDED ON A NAME {not so new lol} . The bass player that said that he didnt want to jam with us.... not does because he doesnt like the other band that he wanted to be in . So now we have two singers . We're COMPLETELY done with our first song . But i dont know what the name of it is . Just know how its played . We started a second song and thats about it . The lyrics that the two singers were using suck ... it was something i wrote. .. but it just doesnt fit with the song so thats unfinished. And... last saturday ... we started another song . really confusing intro ... the drums are completely off from the guitar .. but we're both working with a 7 count beat {i really dont know what its called lol u count to seven and then after that it starts over} then after the intro ... which is the chorus ... the drums and the guitar sound bad ass together . We dont have any lyrics or bass lines for the song yet... but we're going to work on that this wednesday . :D And thats it ^.^ I think lol OH AND I GOT A NEW AMPLIFIER :D:D:D:D ITS A IBANEZ FULL STACK . LOOK THRU THE REST OF MY PAGE AND CHECK IT OUT :D:D:D:D:D

[February 9th, 2005]

[I left work today so that we could practice . I guess now we're going to have two vocalists ! ! ! This is just way too badass ! ! ! Adam and Belldar are both going to scream the fuck outta shit now :D:D:D:D its way awesome ^.^ Now its been about two months since we started making this song ... maybe a couple weeks less ... we dont have a bass player still but i talked to my old friend Saen and i think he's going to play bass for us . So we recorded our song today with two singers ... and it was great . I cant believe how well things went together right away . We didnt change the song itself any ... just had two vocalists both incorporating their lyrics into the song . Our next practices are going to be this Saturday {Feb 12, 2005} and Sunday, the day after at noon . We're also going to start working on our next song :D I think that's what sunday is going to be for .]

February 5th, 2005

We had practice this morning at 10 and it went awesome . Everything went together perfect and we recorded about 4 times . We had to change our song, lengthen it some so that Bell's lyrics could fit the song better . I dont like the recorder that we're using because the drums and the vocals overpower the guitar ... but if you turn the guitar up just a smudge ... the guitar is overpowering the vocals and drums ... kinda sux ... but it still works .

[February 3rd, 2005]

[Last night, which would be the second... the band came over and we played the song maybe twice and then we recorded it... it didnt turn out the best, so I guess it was pretty much a sound check :P we shoul've done that in the first place :P but tomorrow, the 4th ... we're going to practice for a few hours and more than likely record it again . Hopefully we'll be able to start on our second song too ^.^ I cant wait .]

February 1st, 2005

Well tomorrow (Feb. 2nd, 2005) we've got band practice and i'm thinking we're going to record our first song . Bobby {percussions} told me that Beldar {lead vocals} is going to play bass for us and now hes going to be a backup singer while Adam is going to take lead vocals {kikass ^,^} . And Bob just told me that I have a voice too and he wants to try hooking me up to a mic so that i can be a backup singer too :) This is going to be tuff :P I'm not that talented ^.^ For sure I'M going to record us tomorrow and try and get it on the computer somehow, so that all of you that want to hear us jam, can ^.^

fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .
fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck . fuck .

Ok :D The other day i went to go take a shower .. but i forgot to bring my boxers :P so .. i dint put boxers on and just put my pants on :P or other known as "free ballin it" and i liked it alot so i'm never going to wear boxers ever again ^.^
:D

WE CAN WORK THINGS OUT ! ! !

Why is it i always get these feelings of loneliness ? ?? ???

And I've been waiting for so long, to hold you in my arms .

WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE COMING DOWN ON ME ?!?!?!

I'm glad that half of the people that I talked to today decided they wanted to be a bitch to me :D
...
..
.
-.-

:'( *there goes my butthead* )':

Without a sound . WITHOUT A SOUND . And I wish you away

G FUCKIN GOLLY

Have you ever seen god ? :(

[f.u.c]

FUCK YOU . FUCK ME . FUCK EVERYONE & EVERYTHING .

I feel like i'm seconds away from dying :( like my heart is going to sieze up on me :( my chest hurts really bad . like i'm going to have a heart attack soon :( idk whats going on but i know that i dont like it :( i hope i feel better :( its times like these that just make me wish something would happen right now :( it hurts soooooooo much .........mm fuck !

I feel better . I'm sorry if i scared anyone . I was just sad . I'm really sorry

I'm ready to die

I'm really getting saddened about this relationship thing . I dont think i'm ever going to find someone i'm going to fall in love with . every time i think i found that someone ... something bad happens . i get cheated on alot, cuz i'd like to know that i'm going to be with that someone in my life for a while before i have sex with them . so . . . instead of waiting for me ... they cheat on me . EVERY FUCKING TIME :"( I dont know what i'm going to do . I say i'm just going to work on my music, but sometimes it gets to me . really... i have no friends around here any more :( either i dumped them or they dumped me . so i have noone to hang out with... and if i did hang out with someone... i'd just be going around doing bad things ... i dont like going out alone and doing things... but i dont like going out with people that are going to get me into trouble or people that could potentially get me in trouble . I got lucky that Emily came along in my life ... but obviously she wasnt the one ... and i completely regret having sex with her . .. that was a big mistake :( i just feel like everything is crashing down on me =\ the only thing good thats happened to me is the band thing ... but the people that are in the band are all into bad things too ... i cant fucking win . .. i hate my life :'( i dont know what to do . i think theres no point to it . . i hate my dad, he makes me feel like nothing... tho we can get along sometimes .. i know he doesnt like me . i dont ever talk to anyone else in my family . . . noone ever calls me . . . :( i hate this ): everything's fucking pointless . i really really need a hug right now :'( 

[f.u.c]

I need a hug :(

I still Love you Rebecca .