[Dark Lullaby]'s diary
Are you happy now?
you like yet another girl after your suicide fit! I'm done with you! I'm done with everything. What if I told every one what you've done to me?
The three purple bruises on my arm from you?
The scars on my heart from you?
The salt smelling pillow that is stained with the scent of so many tears, All because of YOU.
He'll treat me right. Shane. He won't abuse me in so many ways.
I will finally be happy with out you.
So last night around 7:30, you walked me home. You held my hand, then let go to grab my waist and gently kiss me on the forehead. You know if they were watching you wouldn't do that. You also know that if she, that girl you so despertly fell in love with, were here you wouldn't do that either. it means nothing to you! What you are doing to me. My head spins with headaches!
We stay up untill 1:00am on a school night talking when we hung out all day after school. All I ask is why?
So many times...I just ask why, why do you ruin my life like this?
Although we talked on the phone for eight hours, I still do not understand. You tell me that I am second to none.
I'm not your "friend with benefits". Then what else am I?
I really am nothing to you, huh?
Written about Thursday 2006-01-19
Written: (6706 days ago)
I don't really understand my-self anymore. At one time my ideals were strong and I never questioned my-self and what I thought about the ever constant rhythem of the world. So in terms of another or my ideals nothing? Are the laws and boundaries I've set for my-self nothing to you? Even though I have told you "NO!" you still go? Why do I put up with you? Why do I still question my-self? YOU have done this to me. I no longer believe in happy endings. I no longer Believe in you!
Yet I still constantly think about you. I still wander why. I still wish I could be at your side when it is so clear I am nothing, but an object of the past. A dream that you awoke from...Yet for some unknown reason, I still love you.
What is that name?
The name I whisper on the tip of my tounge?
What is that sin?
The unspoken sin that I am not allowed to say?
What have I done?
Why?
I don't remember my justicfication
I don't remember my own imagination...
oh...I understand now, I was only here in object terms...
I was only here as your slave
how do we go on when we find all is lost?
How can everything be lost?
Strange is it not? I perfectly happy, but I am sad. I dont understand...
btw: i've started a story called
The Rose
so far it is 166 note book pages long...
it is not even half way done! >.<
so i've kinda been busy righting in it...
I SO NEED A LIFE
Welp i have returned...
texas was okay i suppose
i did do a lot in a week span
i saw many hot guys...n.n
I bought books
I....umm...rod
I went to the aqurium
I ate REALLY good sea food
I visited meh family
i ate at bennihannahs (spelling...i know i know)
I and i still managed to watch adult swim!
thats productive!! ^.^
Hey everyone, I won't be on for over a week cuz I will be...
ON VACTION IN TEXAS!!!!!! GOING BACK TO WHERE I GREW UP!!! WHOOHOO!!!!
okay i'm done
i thought i would let everyone know! ^.^
see you soon
<3,
Dark Midnight
000: I am a psyco -cant spell-
001: Name: Cassi
002: Nicknames: Raven,Dog, weirdo, freak, loser,poser,sl
003: Country of Living: La, La, oh did you say something
004: Birthdate: i was never born, i was given life to be immortal and live in this cursed world
005: Height: I am not disclosing such in valuble info. -scroll down!-
006:Eye color:green meh fav color
007: Shoesize: 4-9 i know i know...
008: School/work: If you meen sleep in class yes...
009: You smoke: I will now quote my fav t-shirt: Don't Smoke there are cooler ways to die
010: Hobbies: Drawing, not finishing books i write, wishing i could finish the blasted game I am on, singing any where
011: Brothers/Siste
012: Relationship: they don't seem to go to well for me
013: Piercing(s): -ears
014: Tattoo: I wish
015: Fave Country to go to: india...i wish to travel the world
JAPAN
016: Are there people you wont reply to?:You
017: Nicest person you met this year: I would have to day Jenna
018: Person you rather not have met this year: All the sluts at my school
019: Who would you like to meet:.........
020: Who do you admire most: My Goddess
021: Most sexy person(s): Refer to 19
022: Favorite Pajamas: what ever i am wearing
023: Favorite Car: Viper...vroom Vroom Nerooooooooooo
024: Favorite Movie(s): Spirited Away, Harry Potter, Ah! My Goddess Kiki's Delivery Service, Kate and Leoplode, Mini movies on my games, princess monoke, inuyasha movies....
026: Favorite City(s): Tokyo
027: Favorite Plush: my cute little puppet fox
028: Favorite perfume: Fantasy musk
029: Favoriete Magazine: Shonen Jump
030: Favorite sound: i dont have a sound...i have a word...FRILLY!
031: Favorite TV-series: OH boy. LOTS. InuYasha, .hack//sign, Rurouni Kenshin, YuYu Hakusho, Love Hina, Ah! My goddess, Excel Saga, x_x -runs out of breath-, inuYasha, Samari Champloo, S-cry-Ed
032: Favorite Writer: Kate Constable
033: Favorite Nickname: Kindred
034: What is on your mousepad: The Rams Football team!! Go rams
035: What all is under your bed: stuffed animals that fell overboard, socks, and my lost imagenary friend...ooooo a quarter
036: Favorite color: Black and Red and Purple and green x.x
037: Favorite Song ever: Our fairwell
038: Favorite song at this moment: Don't look at me like an angel
039: Favorite food: -drumroll- ...CHICKEN!
040: Favorite class in school: is lunch a class
041: Favorite Drink: Soda. Of the Cherry varity.
042: lucky number: 13 evil is as evil does
043: What do you think is greatest about yourself: If i had something good some one would care
044: What deodorant do you use: whatever is there
045: Favorite shoes: meh new self essteem shoes i paid half price for
046: What time do you go to bed on weekdays: -shurgs-
047: What word do you use most: ekkers
048: Most romantic moment in your life: love...what could be more fun...I have no romantic memorys
49: Most embarassing moment in your life: When I was little and cried on stage at six flags
050: You spend your time rather inside or outside: Inside. In a dark corner. With a computer.
051: What do you do in the weekends: Eat, read comics,t.v., internet, eat, sleep. Repeat.
052: What class in school do/did you dislike most: English
053: Your Breakfast: depends on if i feel like eating
054: What do you really really dislike to eat: anything that can be considered a 'vegetable' that is green in color.
055: Pets: Cat, Cat, Cat, Cat, Cat, mouse-where did it come from?- Dog
057: Serious or funny: dont care any more
058: Fast or slow: Fast or slow what?
059: You prefer being alone or have relation: I would like a relation but none like meh
060: Simple or complicated?: very simple
061: Cremate or Buried when dead: I have a feeling that death is not comeing for a while
063: Stay up late or go to bed early: I don't have a choice in the matter o.x
64: Light or dark?: Dark so you cant see me behind you
065: Speak or Silence: Silence
066: Tall or small man/woman: what would it matter
067: Newspaper: -blank stare-
068: Hug or kiss: i like both
069: Happy or Sad: Both. More sad mostly. Yet i hide it well with a smile
070: Life or Death: Death does not seem so bad
071: Gig or Disco: x.x to far back
072: Left or Right: Righty..?
073: Sausages on top, or on the side: I don't like sausage.
074: Dark/ red/ Blonde: who cares
075: What would you ask God if you could ask him 1 single question: What is God?
076: You believe in reincarnation: Yes and no ask if you want meh to explain
077: You believe in Aliens: Yes o.o
078: When you die, what will be your last words?: Don't let a memory become of me
079: Does true love exist: not with me, but with every one else *tear*
080: How many kids would you like to have: if i get that far 2
081: What is the one thing you can't stand: Little noises *theres one*
082: Best feeling: Love i dont get much of it
083: Worst feeling in the world: Having your heart broken...
084: What are you afraid of:Never finding the one And..MICHAEL JACKSON! -hides-
085: Are you an emotional person: Yes, very much so.
086: Do you ever cry during a movie: Course I do.
087: Your goal in life: To face my path
088: What was the promise you made to yourself at new years eve: to face my fears about something important
089: Favorite artist: Abby Kern
090: As what animal would you like to reincarnate: Foxes!!!!!!!!!
091: What is the most beautiful part on the female body: ummm.. well I like the eyes
092: Most original place to ask your love to marry you: A place where only a few people go. . .my secret forest
093: What do you think of Elftown: Best
094: Is there something you miss about elftown: HUH?
095: Where did you get this question list: I like graphic novels a lot.
Oh yeah I was a devil and copied it >.<
096: Besides elftown, what do you do most on your PC: I like to draw, chat, and I frequently Rp surf read e-mail to many
097: What weapons do u hold in yer pockets: SPORK! Warmachine! Doomsaday Device! And...a weapon so powerful, so deadly, so evil, that I fear it..the almighty...LIN
098: Whats yer hybrid mix: Ekkers???
099: How old ya wanna be when u die: Young so i can be a young ghost
100: Is this the last question?: I do declare it is. o.o WAIT!
101: Is THIS the last question?:
I think I cannot count
102:Is the moon round?:No it is square
103:Do you think magic is real?: Yes
~Do You~
Believe in life on other planets?: yeah
Astrology?: ya
Magic?: yes
God?: yup
Satan?: yes
Santa?:Wat do you meen do i believe in santa... I sat on his lap
Ghosts?: yes there is one by me now
Luck?: no
Fate?: yes
Love at first sight?: no just second sight
Yin and Yang?: not really sure
Witches?: Well if i am one i guess so!!
Easter bunny?: no...bunnies will die!!!
Believe it's possible to remain faithful forever?: Yes
Believe there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?:No just...MY GAY FRIENDS!!!!
Do you wish on stars?: yes
LOVE, and all that: yup
Did you get frightened or uncomfortable seeing that as a section title: no
Do you remember your first love: no
Still love him/her: I have moved on
Do you consider love a mistake: Love is an imaginary thing people invented to feel happy and sad
What do you find romantic: Tragedy, Death, Heartless lies, uneven cloths, crying in the rain with no one around, the life of the sun, the fake...
ANIME TRIVIA
Fav anime: ......WAY TOO MANY TO SAY!!
Fav manga: Naruto
Fav anime guy: Hiei
Fav manga guy: Sasuke <-- HIM SO HOTT!! -drolls-
Fav anime girl: Blue from wolfs rain. SHE KICKS BUTT!!
Fav manga girl: -drum roll- CHI!! ^^
Fav anime channle: Cartoon Network
Fav manga shop: Walden books
FAV ANIME/MANGA PERSON: have i not made this clear? SASUKE!!!
I made a Quiz for You on QuizYourFriend
CLICK on the link below or PASTE it into your browser.
http://www.qui
this year has been a tough year...i think i have shed more tears then i ever have before...i feel as if everyone around me is falling away...
Another Death...has come, he had two children and a wife he left behind
it was suicide.
it was after a fight.
The son blames his mother.
The Daughter does not understand.
The third Death for me this year.
I supose hell has a new visitor...
Ok, I've decided to take a chance here, ask me 4 questions. Any 4, no matter how personal, private or random.
I have to answer them honestly. I have to answer them all.
In turn, you post this message in your own journal, wiki, or profile and you
have to answer the questions that are asked of you.
Drip Drip
The guest room is where i stay
No toys around for child's play
A noise from the bathroom is what i here
A simple drip drop so very clear
I figure the culpret must be the sink
That is what my mind does think
Turns out no could not be
The sink that left the blood i see
A knife covered in crimson rage
From a diary a torn page
Some one was mad
As well as sad
Then i find this is my home
how could i have not known?
The scars upon my body
It is my blood that i see.
In the mirror i see my soul
That is then that I know
I just wish to escape
The drip drip that is my fate
A cutting of a crimson scar
then i wander where you are
To save me from my misery
The black cloked man of mystery
I still hear my driping sound
As it falls and hits the ground
My love, i need to be free
I wish to come, wish to flee
My pain and the dripping will not cease
Will you not come with ease?
Then in my dreams i fade away
For the driping will always stay
I wrote that for some of my frinds
~[Dark Lullaby]
Does anyone remember my smile?
I know it has been quite a while
Since I looked someone in the eye
And no tears did i cry
Does anyone remember my laugh?
A simple joy lost in the past
As time went i seem to have forgot
For i found that no one loves me not
Does anyone remember my soul?
Of all the life i did not know?
Days go by and my memory goes......
I just fade with the wind, and now i flow
~
is it really funny to make up jokes about people you dont know? when i cry my-self to sleep it is really funny to laugh at? i dont understand you damn humans.
Unravle the pieces of my soul
There you will find what you dont know
Secrets and lies of dreams I dream
Pain and tourture that makes me scream
Friends that leave and friends that go
And the true face I never show...
Guess what.
I am friends with all my friends again!! yay
okay i am done now!!
^.^