So I was reading my past diary entrys. I smiled at the person I once was, curious as to what I was thinking back then. Its funny when I one grows up and retraces their steps. I think this is actully the first 'actual' diary entry I've ever made on et.
I pondered on how immature I once was and how immature I have become. I mean I used to have ideas and morals untill they were stripped away by my teenage years. I sometimes blame it all on my mother, because she is the one that made me move into town. Yet, I know that that is an excuse, and I need to grow up. Hey, there's a start.
I really miss the younger me, the one that gives undying love, thinks suicide is romantic, and believes in fairy tales. I'm sad that the old me has died in the teenage years suffocated from the world's terror.
I wish I could pull her out of the water and be care-free again, but ignorence is just another sign of immaturity.
01. What is your FULL name (first. middle. last.)?
Cassandra Alicia Daugette
02. What do you want to be when you grow up?
a "star"
03. Have you ever kissed anyone of the opposite sex?
yeah, duh
04. Have you ever made out with anyone of the same sex?
*cough* yeppers
05. Name one person who has made out with more people than you?
Difinitly iggy
TAY WHAT DID YOU DO WITH 06? Now it will always remained unansered!
07. Have you ever sang in public?
a billion times
08. Have you ever stole something(from a store)?
Yep
09. What is your AIM screen name?
1-800-UWISH
10. What is your favorite color?
GREEN!!
11. Do you like anyone?
I like everyone...exc
12. Are you smart?
Ofcourse I'm smrt!
13. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
How flirty they are..if they are...
14. Are you a party animal?
umm...lets not go there
15. Have you ever snuck out?
umm...lets stay away from here too
16. Do you like a friend of yours
I like a lot of friends...ur supposed to like them
17. If a random guy/girl kissed you randomly, how would you respond?
It would depend if it was Johnny Depp or not
18. Is there someone at school you have history with, but no one knows?
Yes, but I prefur to keep it hush-hush
19. If someone likes you, would you want them to tell you?
well maybe, if they are Johnny Depp
20. Are you rich?
1-800-IWISH
21. Do you consider "grinding" one of the best forms of dancing?
ewww
22. Have you ever met a famous person?
sort of
23. Are you cool?
yes I'm very cold, what does that have to do with anything?
25. Have you ever made out with someone on your Top Friends?
a couple of them
26. Would you rather approach someone, or have someone
ehh? I don't understand the question
27. Have you ever done anything insane?
We should stay away from there
28. Have you ever been in love?
Im not sure
29. Glass half empty or half full?
It depends I haven't seen it yet
30. I've come to realize that my last kiss..
meant nothing to anyone
31. I am listening to...
Anatasia Soundtrack
32. I talk...
about crap I don't even understand
33. I love...
CHICKEN
34. My best friends...
Ignores me
35. My first real kiss...
Was amazing...but I hate him now
36. My life...
is small
37. Relationships are...
annoying
38. Love is...
fake most likly...a myth
39. Marriage is...
a celebration
40. Somewhere, someone is thinking...
God, I just love her! XDDD
41. I'll always...
regret
42. I have a crush...
on...someone I can't have
43. The last time I cried was because...
I realized how I really felt
44. My cell phone...
says "hicass"
45. When I wake up in the morning...
I pretend I'm still sleeping
46. Before I go to bed...
I watch good old sex and the city
47. RIght now i am thinking...
*chicken...*
48. Babies are...
annoying, but I love toddlers
49. I get on myspace...
in hopes of a random message or comment
50. Today I..
slept till noon
51. Tonight I will...
stare out my window
52. Tomorrow I will be...
taking to many tests
53. I really want to be...
a poet
54. Someone that will most likely repost this is...
would obey my every command.
so...ummm...
Things are going weird
so w-e-i-r-d (if thats how you spell it)
I don't even want to begin to explain
Level 1
(x) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Smoked A Cigar
( ) Smoked Weed
(X) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(X) Drank Alcohol
SO FAR: 3
Level 2
(x) Are / Been In Love
(X) Been MUTUALLY Dumped (how is this stuipd?)
(x) Shoplifted
( ) Been Fired
(X) Been In A Fist Fight
SO FAR: 7
Level 3
(x) Snuck Out Of A Parent's House
(X) Had Feelings For Someone Who Didn't Have Them Back
( ) Been Arrested
() Made Out With A Stranger
( ) Gone Out On A Blind Date
SO FAR: 9
Level 4
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(X) Skipped School
( ) Slept With A Co-worker
(x) Seen Someone / Something Die (I've whatched 3 animals die in my arms)
SO FAR: 12
Level 5
(X) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your myspace/elftow
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
(x) Been On A Plane
( ) Thrown Up From Drinking... juice!
SO FAR: 14
Level 6
( ) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
( ) Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook (what is this?)
(X) Been in a Mosh Pit
SO FAR: 15
Level 7
(x) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(x) Taken Pain Killers
(X) Love/Like Loved/Liked Someone Who You Cant Have
(X) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(X) Made A Snow Angel
SO FAR: 20
Level 8
(x) Had A Tea Party
(X) Flown A Kite
(X) Built A Sand Castle
(x) Gone mudding (offroading)
(x) Played Dress Up
SO FAR: 25
Level 9
(X) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(X) Gone Sledding
(X) Cheated While Playing A Game
(X) Been Lonely
(X) Fallen Asleep At Work / School
SO FAR: 30
Level 10
(x) Watched The Sun Set
(x) Felt An Earthquake
(X) Killed A Snake
SO FAR: 33
Level 11
(X) Been Tickled
(x) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(x) Stole something (eh...I somtimes can't help meh self)
(X) Been Misunderstood
SO FAR: 37
Level 12
(X) Won A Contest
( ) Been Suspended From School
(X) Had Detention
(x) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident/fourw
SO FAR: 40
Level 13
( ) Had / Have Braces
( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) Danced in the moonlight
SO FAR: 41
Level 14
(X) Hated The Way You Looked
(x) Witnessed A Crime
(x) Pole Danced (truth or dare is a bitch)
(X) Questioned Your Heart
( ) Been obsessed with post-it-notes (only jack)
SO FAR: 44
Level 15
(X) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(X) Been Lost
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(X) Swam In The Ocean
(X) Felt Like You Were Dying
SO FAR: 48
Level 16
(X) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(x) Played Cops And Robbers (keven and me go way back)
(X) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(x) Sang Karaoke (I own a machine)
(x) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins (quaters rule!)
SO FAR: 53
Level 17
(X) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(x) Made Prank Phone Calls
( ) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(X) Kissed In The Rain
SO FAR: 56
Level 18
(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
( ) Been Kissed Under A Mistletoe
( ) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care / Cared About
(X) Blown Bubbles
(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or Anywhere
SO FAR: 59
Level 19
(x) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Traveled More Than 3 Days With A Car Full Of People
(X) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(X) Had A Wish Come True
(x) Been Humped Like A Monkey (My ex had problems)
SO FAR: 63
Level 20
( ) Worn Pearls
(x) Jumped Off A Bridge
(X) Said "Penis" or "Vagina"
( ) Swam With Dolphins
SO FAR: 65
Level 22
( ) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/I
( ) Kissed A Fish
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(X) Sat On A Roof Top
( ) Kissed a worm
SO FAR: 67
Level 23
(X) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
( ) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
(X) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
(X) Stayed Up for a while talking to someone u cared about
SO FAR: 70
Level 24
(X) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(X) Climbed A Tree
(X) Had / Been In A Tree House
(X) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone
SO FAR: 74
Level 25
(X) Believed In Ghosts
(x) Have/had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
( ) Gone Streaking
( ) Visited Jail (sociology field trip XD)
SO FAR: 76
Level 26
(x) Played Chicken (on the monkey bars)
( ) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(X) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
( ) Broken A Bone
(X) Been Easily Amused
SO FAR: 79
Level 27
(x) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
(x) Made A Porn Video/got asked to make one (I was strcktly asked...I am still a virgin...Once again, my ex had problems)
(X) Caught A Butterfly
(X) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(X) Cried So Hard You Laughed
SO FAR: 84
Level 28
(X) Mooned / Flashed Someone
(X) Had Someone Moon / Flash You
(x) Cheated On A Test
(X) Forgotten Someone's Name
( ) French Braided Someones Hair
(x) Gone Skinny Dipping (feels refreshing)
( ) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
SO FAR: 89
Level 29
(X) Rode A Roller Coaster
(x) Went Scuba-Diving / Snorkeling
(X) Had A Cavity
(x) Black-Mailed Someone
(x)Been Black Mailed
SO FAR: 94
Level 31
(X) Been Used
(X) Fell Going Up The Stairs
(X) Licked A Cat
(X) Bitten Someone
SO FAR : 98
Level 32
( ) been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Had sex
( ) flattened someones tires
(X) Rode car/truck until the gas light came on
( ) Got five dollars or less worth of gas
So i've done 99 out 150 stupid things
You know there are probably more I couldn't think of XD
Level 1
(x) Smoked A Cigarette
( ) Smoked A Cigar
( ) Smoked Weed
(X) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(X) Drank Alcohol
SO FAR: 3
Level 2
(x) Are / Been In Love
(X) Been MUTUALLY Dumped (how is this stuipd?)
(x) Shoplifted
( ) Been Fired
(X) Been In A Fist Fight
SO FAR: 7
Level 3
(x) Snuck Out Of A Parent's House
(X) Had Feelings For Someone Who Didn't Have Them Back
( ) Been Arrested
() Made Out With A Stranger
( ) Gone Out On A Blind Date
SO FAR: 9
Level 4
(x) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(X) Skipped School
( ) Slept With A Co-worker
(x) Seen Someone / Something Die (I've whatched 3 animals die in my arms)
SO FAR: 12
Level 5
(X) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your myspace/elftow
( ) Been To Paris
( ) Been To Spain
(x) Been On A Plane
( ) Thrown Up From Drinking... juice!
SO FAR: 14
Level 6
( ) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been Snowboarding
( ) Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook (what is this?)
(X) Been in a Mosh Pit
SO FAR: 15
Level 7
(x) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(x) Taken Pain Killers
(X) Love/Like Loved/Liked Someone Who You Cant Have
(X) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(X) Made A Snow Angel
SO FAR: 20
Level 8
(x) Had A Tea Party
(X) Flown A Kite
(X) Built A Sand Castle
(x) Gone mudding (offroading)
(x) Played Dress Up
SO FAR: 25
Level 9
(X) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(X) Gone Sledding
(X) Cheated While Playing A Game
(X) Been Lonely
(X) Fallen Asleep At Work / School
SO FAR: 30
Level 10
(x) Watched The Sun Set
(x) Felt An Earthquake
(X) Killed A Snake
SO FAR: 33
Level 11
(X) Been Tickled
(x) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(x) Stole something (eh...I somtimes can't help meh self)
(X) Been Misunderstood
SO FAR: 37
Level 12
(X) Won A Contest
( ) Been Suspended From School
(X) Had Detention
(x) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident/fourw
SO FAR: 40
Level 13
( ) Had / Have Braces
( ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(X) Danced in the moonlight
SO FAR: 41
Level 14
(X) Hated The Way You Looked
(x) Witnessed A Crime
(x) Pole Danced (truth or dare is a bitch)
(X) Questioned Your Heart
( ) Been obsessed with post-it-notes (only jack)
SO FAR: 44
Level 15
(X) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(X) Been Lost
( ) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(X) Swam In The Ocean
(X) Felt Like You Were Dying
SO FAR: 48
Level 16
(X) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(x) Played Cops And Robbers (keven and me go way back)
(X) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(x) Sang Karaoke (I own a machine)
(x) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins (quaters rule!)
SO FAR: 53
Level 17
(X) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(x) Made Prank Phone Calls
( ) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(X) Kissed In The Rain
SO FAR: 56
Level 18
(x) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
( ) Been Kissed Under A Mistletoe
( ) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care / Cared About
(X) Blown Bubbles
(x) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or Anywhere
SO FAR: 59
Level 19
(x) Crashed A Party
( ) Have Traveled More Than 3 Days With A Car Full Of People
(X) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(X) Had A Wish Come True
(x) Been Humped Like A Monkey (My ex had problems)
SO FAR: 63
Level 20
( ) Worn Pearls
(x) Jumped Off A Bridge
(X) Said "Penis" or "Vagina"
( ) Swam With Dolphins
SO FAR: 65
Level 22
( ) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/I
( ) Kissed A Fish
(x) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(X) Sat On A Roof Top
( ) Kissed a worm
SO FAR: 67
Level 23
(X) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
( ) Done / Attempted A One-Handed Cartwheel
(X) Talked On The Phone For More Than 6 Hours
(X) Stayed Up for a while talking to someone u cared about
SO FAR: 70
Level 24
(X) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(X) Climbed A Tree
(X) Had / Been In A Tree House
(X) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone
SO FAR: 74
Level 25
(X) Believed In Ghosts
(x) Have/had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
( ) Gone Streaking
( ) Visited Jail (sociology field trip XD)
SO FAR: 76
Level 26
(x) Played Chicken (on the monkey bars)
( ) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(X) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
( ) Broken A Bone
(X) Been Easily Amused
SO FAR: 79
Level 27
(x) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
(x) Made A Porn Video/got asked to make one (I was strcktly asked...I am still a virgin...Once again, my ex had problems)
(X) Caught A Butterfly
(X) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(X) Cried So Hard You Laughed
SO FAR: 84
Level 28
(X) Mooned / Flashed Someone
(X) Had Someone Moon / Flash You
(x) Cheated On A Test
(X) Forgotten Someone's Name
( ) French Braided Someones Hair
(x) Gone Skinny Dipping (feels refreshing)
( ) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
SO FAR: 89
Level 29
(X) Rode A Roller Coaster
(x) Went Scuba-Diving / Snorkeling
(X) Had A Cavity
(x) Black-Mailed Someone
(x)Been Black Mailed
SO FAR: 94
Level 31
(X) Been Used
(X) Fell Going Up The Stairs
(X) Licked A Cat
(X) Bitten Someone
SO FAR : 98
Level 32
( ) been shot at/or at gunpoint
( ) Had sex
( ) flattened someones tires
(X) Rode car/truck until the gas light came on
( ) Got five dollars or less worth of gas
So i've done 99 out 150 stupid things
You know there are probably more I couldn't think of XD
So Gab isn't working out. I can see it ending soon. Its like impending
XD
so new bf! yey!!!
his name is Gabriel
He is nineteen {yes I know a little old}
He lives in Florda {far away yes I know}
He is a sweetie! {now jump up for joy!}
I'm really mad at you. You didn't even ask or anything. You could've
at least just done that...
why do i feel betrayed?
everything seems so fine, yet i wonder, is there some dark hidden eyelash in my perfect world? Could everything I hold dear, be a mistake to even...me?
Then I drop such foolish thoughts. Why waste life away over somthing so stupid. Skip to the creek. It urns for your visit
I am so gladeverything has been solved, and everybody is happy now... Things are just so much more better
i give up...you win. Just allow me to be your friend. I'm done with everything.
Are you happy now?
you like yet another girl after your suicide fit! I'm done with you! I'm done with everything. What if I told every one what you've done to me?
The three purple bruises on my arm from you?
The scars on my heart from you?
The salt smelling pillow that is stained with the scent of so many tears, All because of YOU.
He'll treat me right. Shane. He won't abuse me in so many ways.
I will finally be happy with out you.
So last night around 7:30, you walked me home. You held my hand, then let go to grab my waist and gently kiss me on the forehead. You know if they were watching you wouldn't do that. You also know that if she, that girl you so despertly fell in love with, were here you wouldn't do that either. it means nothing to you! What you are doing to me. My head spins with headaches!
We stay up untill 1:00am on a school night talking when we hung out all day after school. All I ask is why?
So many times...I just ask why, why do you ruin my life like this?
Although we talked on the phone for eight hours, I still do not understand. You tell me that I am second to none.
I'm not your "friend with benefits". Then what else am I?
I really am nothing to you, huh?
I don't really understand my-self anymore. At one time my ideals were strong and I never questioned my-self and what I thought about the ever constant rhythem of the world. So in terms of another or my ideals nothing? Are the laws and boundaries I've set for my-self nothing to you? Even though I have told you "NO!" you still go? Why do I put up with you? Why do I still question my-self? YOU have done this to me. I no longer believe in happy endings. I no longer Believe in you!
Yet I still constantly think about you. I still wander why. I still wish I could be at your side when it is so clear I am nothing, but an object of the past. A dream that you awoke from...Yet for some unknown reason, I still love you.
What is that name?
The name I whisper on the tip of my tounge?
What is that sin?
The unspoken sin that I am not allowed to say?
What have I done?
Why?
I don't remember my justicfication
I don't remember my own imagination...
oh...I understand now, I was only here in object terms...
I was only here as your slave
how do we go on when we find all is lost?
How can everything be lost?
Strange is it not? I perfectly happy, but I am sad. I dont understand...
btw: i've started a story called
The Rose
so far it is 166 note book pages long...
it is not even half way done! >.<
so i've kinda been busy righting in it...
I SO NEED A LIFE
Welp i have returned...
texas was okay i suppose
i did do a lot in a week span
i saw many hot guys...n.n
I bought books
I....umm...rod
I went to the aqurium
I ate REALLY good sea food
I visited meh family
i ate at bennihannahs (spelling...i know i know)
I and i still managed to watch adult swim!
thats productive!! ^.^
Hey everyone, I won't be on for over a week cuz I will be...