well...i managed to mess it up...i had what ive wanted so much for so long, and i managed to mess it all up...somehow i knew i would...i would find some way to destroy what i had...i wasnt happy with what i had...and now im in the middle of a huge pile of shit.

well christmas has come and gone and yeah i got some nice stuff for christmas, but i didn't get the one thing that i really wanted, the thing i have wanted for so long now. i will never give up but it seems like it's becoming hopeless.

Hannah, i just want you to know that you have had a huge influence on my life and i want to thank you for that. For all you who are trying to find ways to make me feel better, there are only a few people who can and they know who they are so all the rest of you can stop trying.

Today i have realized once again that no matter how many girls distract me from her it always comes back to me realizing that i still am and will always be in love with her. She probably doesnt know who she is but she means a lot to me and if anyone ever hurt her i would kill them.

No matter how many girls that I've ever liked, it always keeps coming back to this one girl. Today I once again realized just how much I like her. She's one of the most amazing people i have ever met.