how many have u done out of the possible 139:
(x) smoked a cigarette
(x) smoked a cigar
(x) done weed
(x) kissed a member of the same sex
(x) drank alcohol
SO FAR: 5
Level 2
(X) are/been in love
(x) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
(x) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight
SO FAR: 10
Level 3
(x) snuck out of a parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
(x) made out with a stranger
( ) gone out on a blind date.
SO FAR: 13
Level 4
(x) had a crush on an older person
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
(x) seen someone/someth
SO FAR: 16
Level 5
(x) had/have a crush or liked on one of ur friends.
( ) been to Paris
( ) been to Spain
(x) been on a plane
(x)thrown up from drinking
SO FAR: 19
Level 6
( ) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
(x) been mosh pitting
SO FAR: 20
Level 7
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken pain killers
( ) love/loved someone who you cant have
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
(x) made a snow angel
SO FAR: 23
Level 8
(X) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
SO FAR: 28
Level 9
(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
(x) gone sledging
(x) cheated while playing a game.
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school
SO FAR: 33
Level 10
(x) used a fake/someone else's ID
(x) watched the sun set
(x) felt an earthquake
( ) killed a snake
so far: 36
Level 11
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed/vandali
( ) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
(x) pet a deer
SO FAR: 40
Level 12
(x) won a contest
( ) been suspended from school
(x) had detention
(x) been in a car/motorcycle
SO FAR: 43
Level 13
( ) had/have braces
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) danced in the moonlight
SO FAR: 45
Level 14
(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
(x) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes
SO FAR: 50
Level 15
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
( ) been to the opposite side of the world
( ) swam in the ocean/gulf
(x) felt like you were dying
SO FAR: 53
Level 16
(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colore
(x) sang karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins
SO FAR: 58
Level 17
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) kissed in the rain
SO FAR: 63
Level 18
(x) written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun set with someone you care/cared about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
SO FAR: 68
Level 19
(x) crashed a party
(x) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone rollerskating/
(x) had a wish come true
SO FAR: 72
Level 20
(x) worn pearls
(x) jumped off a bridge
(x) screamed a word indicating a form of genitalia in class
( ) swimin with dolphins
SO FAR: 75
Level 22
(x) got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer/i
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
(x) Sat on a roof top
SO FAR: 78
Level 23
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
(x) done/attempted a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
SO FAR: 80
Level 24
(x) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
(x) had/been in a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies alone
SO FAR: 84
Level 25
(x)believe in ghosts
(x)have/had more than 30 pairs of shoes throughout your life
(x)gone streaking
( )gone to jail
SO FAR: 87
Level 26
(x) played chicken
(x) been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(x) been told you're hot by a complete stranger
(x) been easily amused
SO FAR: 91
Level 27
( ) caught a fish then ate it
( ) made a porn video
(x) caught a butterfly
(x) laughed so hard you cried
(x) cried so hard you laughed
SO FAR: 94
Level 28
(x) mooned/flashed someone
(x) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) forgotten someone's name
(x) slept naked
(x) French braided someones hair
(x) gone skinny dippin in a pool
(x) been kicked out of your house
so far: 104
Level 30
(x) Been used
(x) fell going up the stairs
( ) licked a cat
(x) bitten someone
(x) licked someone
SO FAR: 108
repost this with...
ive done (108) out of the 139 stupid things
Had a bit of a rough week. had to visit my Cousins grave in Bognis Regis. Was really sad and made me think of when I went to her funeral a year ago to say goodbye to her. Except those tears were more out of anger than sadness. I know it was wrong, because what's done cannot be changed. But how dare she commit suicide with her Baby alone in the house. How could anyone leave their children behind...
It was this time round to see her grave that it hit home; Tissa's gone. Really gone so I guess shutting myself away wasn't so unforgivable, and being pissed at petty people either. I din't mean to avoid my friends, but depression has set in again and II'm finding it really hard. I'm sick of being fake and not being able to express my feelings. So at whatever cost to myself I give up and I let myself feel angry, feel sad and feel like I want.
I like snow when it's perfect and it sparkles in the sun. Will love it when someone decides to invent warm and dry snow. Then, right then... I will be happy :D
Feeling all wrong right now.
I never feel like getting hyper anymore
and I am avoiding your stories
that fuck us all up.
Favourite Song: Trouble Sleeping by The Perishers.
I miss really good Costa Coffee, My caffiene infactuation is drizzling.
I miss going out with the lads and us girlies, if only she didn't turn up.
I miss wednsday night specials.
I miss Bollywood dancing.
I miss going to the common room and sleeping on Mullins.
I miss shin-digging to the music or jumping on the chairs.
I miss going out to gigs and moshing away.
I miss the glowsticks being mashed so we all have glow in the dark spunk on us. haha.x
I miss playfighting all the way up to Tesco's
And being cool sitting on Tesco's wall eating our lunch.
I miss turning the beats up or haning in lonely class rooms.
I miss film making.
I miss the backrubs when I'm down.
I miss laughing with Mr.Cornish, even though he is a Bastard to evryone else.
I miss wrestling Tien for the wall in PE.
I miss pressing the button on the water dispenser and getting a soaked sleeve.
I miss pinning pictures of us to the wall.
I miss the crappy talent competitions and dancing in the main hall when I think no one is looking.
I miss that mad rush back to the common room to pick up our bags when we're late back from lunchies.
I miss playing UNO and getting really competitive.
I miss watching the lads jump on the bushes outside.
I miss when Jenny got soaked by Dayle with the water, or when Dan Heg. squirted Cobbers in the face with a water pistol etc...
Feeling all wrong right now.
I never feel like getting hyper anymore
and I am avoiding your stories
that fuck us all up.
Favourite Song: Trouble Sleeping by The Perishers.
I miss really good Costa Coffee, My caffiene infactuation is drizzling.
I miss going out with the lads and us girlies, if only she didn't turn up.
I miss wednsday night specials.
I miss Bollywood dancing.
I miss going to the common room and sleeping on Mullins.
I miss shin-digging to the music or jumping on the chairs.
I miss going out to gigs and moshing away.
I miss the glowsticks being mashed so we all have glow in the dark spunk on us. haha.x
I miss playfighting all the way up to Tesco's
And being cool sitting on Tesco's wall eating our lunch.
I miss turning the beats up or haning in lonely class rooms.
I miss film making.
I miss the backrubs when I'm down.
I miss laughing with Mr.Cornish, even though he is a Bastard to evryone else.
I miss wrestling Tien for the wall in PE.
I miss pressing the button on the water dispenser and getting a soaked sleeve.
I miss pinning pictures of us to the wall.
I miss the crappy talent competitions and dancing in the main hall when I think no one is looking.
I miss that mad rush back to the common room to pick up our bags when we're late back from lunchies.
I miss playing UNO and getting really competitive.
I miss watching the lads jump on the bushes outside.
I miss when Jenny got soaked by Dayle with the water, or when Dan Heg. squirted Cobbers in the face with a water pistol etc...
Feeling all wrong right now.
I never feel like getting hyper anymore
and I am avoiding your stories
that fuck us all up.
Favourite Song: Trouble Sleeping by The Perishers.
I miss really good Costa Coffee, My caffiene infactuation is drizzling.
I miss going out with the lads and us girlies, if only she didn't turn up.
I miss wednsday night specials.
I miss Bollywood dancing.
I miss going to the common room and sleeping on Mullins.
I miss shin-digging to the music or jumping on the chairs.
I miss going out to gigs and moshing away.
I miss the glowsticks being mashed so we all have glow in the dark spunk on us. haha.x
I miss playfighting all the way up to Tesco's
And being cool sitting on Tesco's wall eating our lunch.
I miss turning the beats up or haning in lonely class rooms.
I miss film making.
I miss the backrubs when I'm down.
I miss laughing with Mr.Cornish, even though he is a Bastard to evryone else.
I miss wrestling Tien for the wall in PE.
I miss pressing the button on the water dispenser and getting a soaked sleeve.
I miss pinning pictures of us to the wall.
I miss the crappy talent competitions and dancing in the main hall when I think no one is looking.
I miss that mad rush back to the common room to pick up our bags when we're late back from lunchies.
I miss playing UNO and getting really competitive.
I miss watching the lads jump on the bushes outside.
I miss when Jenny got soaked by Dayle with the water, or when Dan Heg. squirted Cobbers in the face with a water pistol etc...
Louise Ainsworth - She is amazing... I can honestly say you will never meet someone like her. So strong willed, intelligent and complicated. I love the way she just has an understanding of me, not many people do. I know I can call her up and she will always be there even if she is having a tough time herself... and somehow she doesn' make me me feel pathetic, she doesn't make things okay but dealable. She's not fake like that.
The song 'hands' by Jewel reminds me of her, it's her take on life... and it just reflects the complexity that awes me everytime I meet her, everytime I see her and eevrytime I want to talk to her. Thankyou sweetie.
Feeling ill today, still. Finally had my hair straightners fixed, but that isn't important. What is; is just getting over whatever issues I have about people before I get to school. My problem, is actually not my problem, but I'm so impulsive I'm scared I'll do the wrong thing, and let slip about Kirsti being a total bitch. I still cannot help how she makes my blood boil, watching her and what shes like with two guys that mean the world to me. Mullins and Petey, it sucks. I just cannot help but feel if you were a good friend to me I would wish you to tell me if the person I love has admitted feelings for someone else. It has effected my relationship with Pete, because I hurt for him and he not a clue that his girlfriend couldn't possibly love him.
I mean how the hell do you tell someone that, Petey already hates Mullins... and I don't care about Kirsti but I am not going to be the one who fucks it up for them, but am I being dishonest??
Kirsti really doesn't deserve Peter, he is too good fo her, and he certainly doesn't deserve the way he is treated by her.But am I to judge? I guess it's not my place... I guess it's not my problem. I just have to deal with these feelings... why do I feel guilty when I have done nothing wrong. I hate havign to pretend with people... I CANNOT stand this. Kirsti kows something is up, the way I don't hug her hello and even say goodbye, I can't help but just walk off... she just makes me so angry.
I also feel guilty, because I have been side tracking Amy. I don't kow why really... I just can't be arsed with her. It is nothing personal... I guess shes just to related to Kirsti, being best friends and all.
On another note, I have Tien. She is an amazing girl, so strong and so fun. I listen to her problems and comfort her, but I struggle to talk to Tien about my problems. It's just hard, she just changes the subject. I guess she has enough problems of her own. Same with Mullins. He asks me to talk to him but really all I am to him is a shoulderto lean on and a hugmachine lol. I am always there for him... and really I could never talk to him. He doesn't try to understand and it just washes over him. I gues, I feel a little lonely right now.
T'was nice to talk to Abi, even if it was just me crying on her. I hate feeling this down. It's silly really.
I was feeling better, but now not so. I honestly couldn't say what is wrong with me. I just feel rally shitty, could be the galangerla fever, or the fact that I just feel fed-up.
I spent today shopping with Abi, which was okay, but I am sick of bitching about Kirsti, I'm just bored of Kirsti. Abi and I saw Kirsti, it was really awkard knowing that; when I avoided the group they bitched about me. It's ntohing personal I just can't stand watching the two-facedness and the clickyness of the group. I realise that I say you can talk to me anytime, but really I can't. They realised I was down and that I was avoiding them, but not a single one of them tried to ask what was up. I give them a shoulder to lean on and they only take the responsibility if I breakdown and they are forced to. Maybe I'm just ill and hormonal... I really don't know.
I hate the naevity of people who fall for the guy that they know is going to treat them like shit. They do it to just complain, I swear, as if life wasn't bad enough. They saw him treat others like shite and when he want's some, he just asks them back out with sweet lines like; ''I missed you just so much'' and ''i never stopped loving you'' when really all they wanted was a quick blowjob ans a shag. I can understand if you loved them, but love isn't your life and you can only get burned so many times before you learn.
Maybe I've never been in love, maybe I just don't understand or maybe I'm just not as aneedy as you. This is not a dig, I just wish sometimes you could see life through my eyes, it's so much more black and white!!x
Tears will never put out a fire, so why cry? It just makes you feel pathetic, because you can't stop the streams and then you feel even more out of control.
You won't feed the addiction of pain by cutting/burnin
Sometimes you can feel so numb, sometimes you feel so emotionally incapable of feeling anything you just couldn't care what happened. Till it all floods back like one big nightmare, gushing at the seems and your head then feels like it wants to explode with so many thoughts. I guess these are the moments when you just end up feeling so lost.
I found the song that chills me. Tis' called 'teardrop - massive attack' it is amazing. I love it, much like my favourite song 'strange and beautiful - aqualung'.
Just a little bit more chilled and less tearful today. Silly really, I should be used to this shite already. I've decided to take things into my own hands, organise meetings with people that are actually going to help me out. I guess I have to be the grown up, since the rents are not ready to do fuck all.
As far as friend's go, I guess I'll let Abi in again, she's not fake and if she pisses me off I'll let her know instead of just taking it. I'm sick of being a pushover and having to try so hard. But things with Kirsti are unlikly to change, I really dislike her and for valid reasons. So I guess that's okay... I'll live.
I know no one is dying, or has cancer or soemthing real to deal with... but I juse cannot help feeling like my world is crumbling. Despite recent thoughts of everything improving somehow I am paying for my parent's mistake, giving them money for the groceries and shit. I'm most certainly sure the only reason they haven't spoken to me about my future is so they don't have to organise shipping me off to Cat's to repeat a year at school. Mum isn't drinking as much, but almost everynight she stumbles back up those stairs with Dad in pursuit to put her to bed. Dad still isn't easy to talk to, refusing there is a problem - ''Your mother isn't a drunk, shes not addicted, it's not like she drinks 3 bottles a night''. But Dad just doesn't seem to realise that you can be psychologicall
It annoys me when she puts on a show when my Aunty is here to stay. That SUCKS. I just wish i had a way to talk to my rents without an argument or confrentation. I ised to be able to talk about this shite with my mum... but now hes either drunk and trying to give me advice, that makes me just feel shit because its just about how I'm not a mistake. But that just reassures me that she feels guilty for not wanting me when i was born. I dunno. It just sucks right now!
She hasn't seen the outside for days,
locked in the room of nebulous plays.
Dancing through her mind of barbed wire fences,
as he went to slash her, she holds in, she clenches.
Breathing deep as the handle drops,
she closes her lips as the screaming stops.
Starting to drip does the confession bleed.
Starts a new lie as it's sown to seed.
Longing and sobbing for a motherly hold
once she was austere, bubbly and bold.
Now left weeping with creased eyes,
breaking all bonds, snapping all ties.