First Dawn Of Spring
Forced awaken, brought outside the
matter screen, saw a bitter scene
I abhorred the light that pierced my
eyes, pierced the night disguise
My tongue spoke the words of real
My hands broke the bonds, the seal
Cannot shine on what I feel
Wicked shrine of truth reveal
Bastards clad in thread of the dead
I am glad I bled in my own bed
Fiction, truth, I know what I said
Painfully it forced onto me
Roaring nightmares slayed my soul, the
bonds knot tighter around my wrist
Seconds became days so foul
Slowly I entered an inner mist
Since the dawn I've been walking
Stalking the shadow of an
ill remembered memory
Slowly growing agony
Memory is not intact, just a
vague message of a morbid fact
Enduring the image of the slaughter
Raping, murdering someone's daughter
I saw more than I wanted
Still I follow to know more
Nearly drowned in sodomy
I will share this blasphemy
Born in a hive, once you arrive
Your flickering gaze, passing into daze
Enduring, holding my breath
This smell reminds only of death
Springtime, burns at dawn
Heat makes the pain spawn
Intensifies the foggy insight
Grows into tormenting blight
None that sees it understands it
Inhumane to eyes that resist it
I was weak, it brought me all
Everything at once, it made me fall
My brains bleed, I suffocate
I have fought, but it's too late
Filthy fingers strangles me
I cut my eyes, avoid to see
We all awake
pure inside
First dawn of the first year
First light blinds us when it finds us
Spring time, deals with joy
First impression, makes thy naive
Bleeding skies and rotten soil
Breaks the painted mirror
Forced awaken, brought outside the
matter screen, saw a bitter scene
I abhorred the light that pierced my
eyes, pierced the night disguise
My tongue spoke the words of real
My hands broke the bonds, the seal
Cannot shine on what I feel
Wicked shrine of truth reveal
Bastards clad in thread of the dead
I am glad I bled in my own bed
Fiction, truth, I know what I said
Painfully it forced onto me
Roaring nightmares slayed my soul, the
bonds knot tighter around my wrist
Seconds became days so foul
Slowly I entered an inner mist
Vulnerable to even the rain
Feels like acid, burning pain
Savage thoughts, I'll go insane
Look at all that was slain
Couldn't you imagine death?
Couldn't you love your enemy?
Can I not accept my final breath
as my last hopeless try
To live
with this cognition
Roaring hoarse, my throat consumed
Though my learning is resumed
All those myths that was assumed
One by one disintegrated
We resist thoughts, so deep down
We refuse to even look
Peek at horrors, so amazed
It hurts
Frightened, but curious
We philosophise about
what I have got to
finally know
To see our final destiny
To know about our future death
Hopelessly I give up living
Slowly I will end
Fell in death, burned in Hell
Once again woke to despair
Consumed right where I dwell
Received those words I couldn't bear
What was the truth that made me die?
Forced me to a plane so high?
Shot me down like a hunted raven
Scared I ran away so craven
It was words that kept me flying
Though they told things that made me
truly wish that they were lying
I knew this was truths not meant to be
I cannot speak it, cannot tell it
So atrocius, can't even spell it
Horror revelations
Darkest creations
Blasphemies of all that is
That's what this world's made upon
Carved by rotten hands of His
Lucifer cadaver spawn
To accept, it took me time
It can be considered a crime to
even think it, to believe so dim
why this world is truly grim
Satan gave me a perspective
Satan gave me life
You could call my Satan master
You could call my mentor me
Thus I do not pray or worship
I'm enchanted by this truth
Power being as an offspring
of a bigger, holy hand
From the sky, or from the grave?
From above, or from beneath the
hollow in the earth?
Does it matter, does my birth?
Now I step on corpses, bodies
He will learn me how to fly
To become what you really are
takes most painful insight and to die
Misanthropy, constant pain
Misery in hopeless vain
Morbid curtains made of rain
Shades the evergrowing pain
Blurry minds and sinful thoughts
The mind breaks you when it sorts your
deeper self out, hate and sloth
Your real self just dwell in a cloth
Fallen angels, Judas kids
Do all that your god forbids
He's not mightier than you
Lay a fist upon Him too
"Creator
I see through your eyes
Creator
I see through their heathen lies"
Born, the hive
eats your mind, stains your gaze
Flickering, passing daze
Springtime, it burns
Intensifies the grinding pain
All is washed away in the April rain
None that sees it lives to tell
Inhumane they end up in a cell
where the mind belongs
Fear is not present
Agony and madness remains
On the surface, raw and torn
Behold the place where you were born
Filthy hollows in the mud
All washed away with the flood
We all awake
pure inside
First dawn of the first year
First light blinds us when it finds us
Spring time, deals with joy
First impression, makes thy naive
Bleeding skies and rotten soil
Breaks the painted mirror
Kill the god that was your master
Break the bonds that held you
Make room for vile disaster
Let the glowing embers weld you
Love Forged In Cold Winter Snow
Held back by the fear
by those that you hold dear, and so;
see, when the morning comes you will
determine which path you shall go
My retina holds still your face
My eyes cannot but stare into space
Behold remembered beauty and grace
from another time and place
Fear of words from your soft lips
Shudder even in my fingertips, though
now we speak and breathe as one, please
forgive all the things I've done
Like a dead, dry rose I turn into dust
I've been fed, with herbs taking away my lust
Like a rose in winter time
My inside is utterly dead
The presence of an unknown pain in me
The darkest words I read, finally I see
Sleep and hunger, disintegrates in vain
Breath and sanity, mist and rain
Thus infected by a blessing
I can't bring forth what I'm missing
I can't speak at my confession
Thus I think I've learned my lesson
Held back by the fear
by those that you hold dear, and so;
see, when the morning comes you will
determine which path you shall go
My retina holds still your face
My eyes cannot but stare into space
Behold remembered beauty and grace
from another time and place
Fear of words from your soft lips
Shudder even in my fingertips, though
now we speak and breathe as one, please
forgive all the things I've done
I was unaware of scents like
these
A virginity was shattered in a
breeze, a sudden change
Love forged in the chilly winter
snow
Heavy breaths and a feeling starts to
grow, all suddenly so strange
Battled inner wars of blood and
hate
I lost, I won, became victim of
Fate
My chest is heavy on my strained
breaths
Though this is different from the many
deaths, I lived through
So light, so delicate
Completely silent on the hills
It's freezing, howling, but still I stand
Fighting the emotional thrills
A thousand weeds
dancing to the music of the wind
from afar, a symphony that feeds
on the fallen bodies of the mortal kin
Better be, uneternal
Better be a mayfly on the field
Thus this pain is not infernal
Thus death is my sword and shield
Meaningless feels all this grief
I know that I am a mess
Forgive me, a murdering thief
Forgive, give me your bless
Cold the winter, cold the snow
Shuddering in the morning breeze
To enlight me, force me to grow
To lift the pain, to slowly ease
Misery in depressed white
Blue my shallow, freezing veins
Battles over, no more fight
Falling from life, fall in blood stains
I was unaware of scents like
these
A virginity was shattered in a
breeze, a sudden change
Love forged in the chilly winter
snow
Heavy breaths and a feeling starts to
grow, all suddenly so strange
Battled inner wars of blood and
hate
I lost, I won, became victim of
Fate
My chest is heavy on my strained
breaths
Though this is different from the many
deaths, I lived through
Held back by the fear
by those that you hold dear, and so;
see, when the morning comes you will
determine which path you shall go
My retina holds still your face
My eyes cannot but stare into space
Behold remembered beauty and grace
from another time and place
Fear of words from your soft lips
Shudder even in my fingertips, though
now we speak and breathe as one, please
forgive all the things I've done
A velvet mist lay on my breath, shade
touching my eyes so that the glance
cannot catch sinister silhouettes
in between the snowflakes, in the
winter night I hide
A ghast of madness chewing on my
veins deep within, beloved soul is
now since long ago forgotten
A final kiss from her still
rubs my memory
A place so peaceful, dept for
all my suffering, not deserved
Cannot longer feel a limb in
winter night
Oh, every night, my bride
Born for purpose of just dying
away
Born to seek the silky touch of
loving mistress
Now I can see nothing but pure evil
and misery
Meaningless feels all this grief
I know that I am a mess
Forgive me, a murdering thief
Forgive, give me your bless
Cold the winter, cold the snow
Shuddering in the morning breeze
To enlight me, force me to grow
To lift the pain, to slowly ease
Misery in depressed white
Blue my shallow, freezing veins
Battles over, no more fight
Falling from life, fall in blood stains
Like a blade that cuts my chest
Like a morbid dream, I detest
Bloody carnage of my soul
Cradle heaved into the cold
snow, in the winter night
Roars of thunder from above
So unlike the gentle love I
once shared, with a being
so unique
I beg you, be my mistress
Even in death you are so beautiful
Like a dead, dry rose I turn into dust
I've been fed, with herbs taking away my lust
Like a rose in winter time
My inside is utterly dead
The presence of an unknown pain in me
The darkest words I read, finally I see
Sleep and hunger, disintegrates in vain
Breath and sanity, mist and rain
Mist and rain...
Forgive sins of blind lust
Memories torn apart to dust
I will go away shattered and
crooked
Damnation, hand in hand with
virgin love symphony
Crackled, broken, though alive
still my heart beats the dances of the
thrills that I now have forsaken
I was unaware of scents like
these
A virginity was shattered in a
breeze, a sudden change
Love forged in the chilly winter
snow
Heavy breaths and a feeling starts to
grow, all suddenly so strange
Battled inner wars of blood and
hate
I lost, I won, became victim of
Fate
My chest is heavy on my strained
breaths
Though this is different from the many
deaths, I lived through
Meaningless feels all this grief
I know that I am a mess
Forgive me, a murdering thief
Forgive, give me your bless
Cold the winter, cold the snow
Shuddering in the morning breeze
To enlight me, force me to grow
To lift the pain, to slowly ease
Misery in depressed white
Blue my shallow, freezing veins
Battles over, no more fight
Falling from life, fall in blood stains
So light, so delicate
Completely silent on the hills
It's freezing, howling, but still I stand
Fighting the emotional thrills
A thousand weeds
dancing to the music of the wind
from afar, a symphony that feeds
on the fallen bodies of the mortal kin
Better be, uneternal
Better be a mayfly on the field
Thus this pain is not infernal
Thus death is my sword and shield
Born to Hell, left a heaven
staring back at my dead eyes
Still I can make out the shadows
in the darkening clouds above
Snowflakes touches my strained skin, so
rough and torn from my long years
I belong somewhere else
Meaningless feels all this grief
I know that I am a mess
Forgive me, a murdering thief
Forgive, give me your bless
Cold the winter, cold the snow
Shuddering in the morning breeze
To enlight me, force me to grow
To lift the pain, to slowly ease
Misery in depressed white
Blue my shallow, freezing veins
Battles over, no more fight
Falling from life, fall in blood stains
I was sheltered but
once more
Dawn of insanity
crawled up inside me
Cushions of corpses did
brake my steep fall
But I will not rise no more
Finally I die
Once and for all
Held back by the fear
by those that you hold dear, and so;
see, when the morning comes you will
determine which path you shall go
My retina holds still your face
My eyes cannot but stare into space
Behold remembered beauty and grace
from another time and place
Fear of words from your soft lips
Shudder even in my fingertips, though
now we speak and breathe as one, please
forgive all the things I've done