[Helob]'s diary

1020653  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2008-03-27
Written: (5891 days ago)

Illusionist

Mocking trickster in valor soaked
Your retina is choked

Monstrous quill inking shade
on the vast mirror decade

For the witch holds the baton
and the wizard sets the con

Flashing flames amaze the audience
All is chaos, there's no sense


Wicked, tricked, obedient
Now add the last ingredient

Terror, laughter, ignorance
Fueling the wizard's dance


Ink-symbolic signs of enticement - a blasphemy
Grip the hearts of slaves under the conman tyranny
For no soul is white enough to flee the stains of gaze
upon black taboo arts of amusement color blaze

Frequently delusioned, metals in their spine
Shards of light through flesh and bone
and lameness for the swine

Hypocrite illusions, cruelty corrupting
Settling down in hearts of cogs
in the wheel of cynic disrupting


Let the curtains fall and see
Magic and the trickery

Strip your minds of boundaries
and release the humming fleas

The orchestral crescendo escalates
Let us open up the gates

The viewers gasp, they open wide
They can not escape this ride

1020650  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2008-03-27
Written: (5891 days ago)

Live And Let Rot

There will be no gratitude for the
heroic, life-giving self-sacrifice that you
seem to have currently obliged to the
hypocrite bliss-life of kindness and purity

Cold at heart, we build fires
to comfort our heritage lies
Passions of earthly desires, though,
are cold and transparent before our eyes

No man inherit the curse of the cure
The cause of the curse of deliverance
No living thing can deny that the roots
slowly grow tighter and tighter
and constrain the trance

Romantic herecy in dusk of the (b)light
Hereby we state that Eden is in sight

The Will is dead
Our skill is Dread


None will reward deeds of love
rather than punish those of hate
Live and let decay grow roots
in the soil of the ever-rottening misery
(man)kind of plague

Let go of trust, doubt and fear of the
madness, malevolent creatures that
all of us are

None will reward deeds of care
Just punish the crimes of stealth, lust and greed
On satisfaction we glare
Indoctrined we deny our existencial need

Ergo ego summon will!


Frown on the bliss
Yearn for a kiss from the
ultimate ruler, the tyrrant
His halo infects us all in our minds

(Godsent or mudscent?
A cure for the filth)


It is a waste of deliberate blindness to
lay eyes upon the new fictive sollution, the
crude mass delusion carved from the remains
of the old life act retribution

Cold by the steel that we forge us to cut
through the tissue of life-giving veins
Sold by the eager to gorge for the gut
inside layers of skin, bonds and chains

No man hear whispers of whishes
The witchcraft of which we are hereby accused
No living thing can defy it
It slowly grows louder and louder
until it falls down onto determination

Erotic blasphemies in the dawn
Thus we are evolution’s spawn

Our strong Will is dead
The only skill left is our Dread


”Shake the foundation
Mock the creation”



(It is a transformation
to conquer desperation)

Slumber in the change, in despair
Apathy, fear to ever dare
questioning what’s right and fair
Questioning why to even care

999580  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-12-18
Written: (5991 days ago)

A Mindless Hunk Of Meat

When was the last time you burned a teddy bear?
When did you last perform an abortion?

Did you pity that hunk of meat, cute life so unperverted
or did you want to be granted love for bravery?
Did you think an unlit light would feel betrayed, deserted?
No, I don't give a shit about your luxury

Never sees the eyes not open
that which not concern it's crude
mind that can not feel or think nothing


If your daughter, raped by boars
came home to the godsent dinner
As if slaughtered, like the whores
her face grows more pale and thinner

It is meat, that is cruel
to a girl who cannot love yet
Overpopulated, true
Still the world cannot accept


When did you realize you were a burden?
When did you first get your own?

Did you see the holocaust of children, all so many
and did you truly want that to be ceased?
No, it's not moral, it's not even sanity
Most of all, the pain should be eased

Never sees the eyes not open
that which not concern it's crude
mind that can not feel or think nothing

999579  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-12-18
Written: (5991 days ago)

The Inventor

I invented misery
I came up with wrath
I presented cruelty
and I traded sloth

I designed the belt that whipped your
back sore as a child
I created cold, sharp steel for
housewives going wild

I'm now working on a project
of extinction and demise
All of mankind can't reject
the fiction and the lies


Inventor, shaper, creator
Waker, brutal metaphor
for the greed, all that we feed on
in our frigid search for a lead

Brawlers towards the hand
that feeds you
Crawlers beneath the sand
that breeds you

Follow me into the era of new intentions


I injected holocaust
in humanity
I selected sickness, cast
the curses for delivery

I malformed the crudeness that the
animals perform
and made it the rudeness that the
human race has formed

I molested molest itself
to gain my goal
I detested forests of wealth
Burned them to coal

999578  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-12-18
Written: (5991 days ago)

The Clay

Over the horizon I hear a madman shriek
He's trapped between his dreams and this Reality
He vocalizes the limbo of the freaks
The helplessness, the disrupting sanity

But I've built a castle, a keep of dreams and will
of all the lost imaginations of that which isn't me
The true desires burns within me still
Around me I shape the nature that will ever be


The world does not revolve
It's just frantically leaning back and forth
Your sway is never noticed, because you cannot solve
the jigsaw puzzle Life, as it's been deluged in the draught

I shape the things to come
by will and treat and curse
This fantastic way of living never occured to some
They simply live by what they fit into their lifeless purse


Again the madman roars
in vain and in his pounding agony
His voice grow thin and hoarse
and soon he cannot longer ease insanity

As every day pass by
Never does the story tell my fortune
So I make my own true lie
Instead of shrieking endlessly this sore tune


As some run out of clay
Their sun sets and they fall back in the stream
Cry and bleed it out you may
But no one's ever gonna give you back your dream

Cut it out, your own puzzle game
With jigsaw, with any fundament
Make sure you always keep the same
Because this gift is from your most blissful dreams ascent

999577  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-12-18
Written: (5991 days ago)

The Gun From The Cradle

Yesterday I slit my wrist
On this night I broke a pledge
Today I struggle to exist
Tomorrow I'll probably be dead


I was born with a Glock in my hand
I was set to sail from a dock in the sand

When I left the womb and went away
I ran on the pavement on my way to Life Academy
There were bluntheads all the way down
Inside I could hear a devastating sound


Indoctrines went through my one ear
and came out the other
Passing thoughts of desperate fear
Murder, hate, I didn't bother


I was born with a Glock in my hand
I was set to sail from a dock in the sand

My old man and mommy went away
I saw them on the pavement on my way to Hate Academy
They were blunted down with bullets through their heads
On that day my last hope came to shreads


Yesterday I slit my wrist
On this night I broke a pledge
Today I struggle to exist
Tomorrow I'll probably be dead

999575  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-12-18
Written: (5991 days ago)

Hell's Doorbell

We were never good,
so what's with the blunt expectations?
Exorcise us, you should,
to rid your head from depravation
Suicide on sickness aid
Like genocide with pesticide
Mending scars that never were
You're pretending like you care

Need exceeding with the feeding
on the cattle that you're breeding
Crude the square that never was
where you imprison you cause


I am no slave of your hypocrisy
I'm not the one in denial
I am not bred to be framed
or fed to be put on your sale

On the pavement that leads to Hell
We're the filthy ones on your doorbell


I will start a revolution
I will show your true demise
Hope this be a retribution
I do not apologize
I shoot cops to break your trust
I keep silent in my crust
It's a rough road out of Hell
It's an infinite struggle to break this shell

The need exceeds with the feeding
It's a fight to even breathe
Your soul never visited Hell
Therefore I'll keep ringing the bell

999574  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-12-18
Written: (5991 days ago)

The Room

Some in the room were violent
Some in the room were creeps
But in the room there was also love
The mating of two bugs in breed

The walls of the room went closer
The floor under me became cold
The fracture of my head split open
I felt how my thoughts came unfolded

I think she was female, she did talk to me
She said I was different, and so I could see
I killed her with doubt, for she was a friend
But friendship is nothing for someone godsend


Some of the friends that I made weren't real
But I've destroyed them so that I can seal
the hole in my head that is leaking my mind
But where is the I? It is nowhere to find

Send me the gift of intolerance
so that I can wake up my ignorance
Could I ignore the malevolent cleanse
and still redeem for my dire lack of sense?


The corner of the room stares back
I gaze at the feelings that I lack
Mumbling some statements at random
Mourning in the pit in which I stand

Shivering in cold winds in my dream
Nothing's ever warm, or so it seems
The grinding of my thoughts continues
Making me commit horrible sins

I think it was I, that did talk to me
I said something different, now I could see
I killed it for thinking that it was I
But realized that it's me who's going to die

999573  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-12-18
Written: (5991 days ago)

King Of The Mud

As the mist eclipse the light
The fog intensifies the blight
and even though I miss the sun
Towards the hollow dark I run

I fought to mend my withered keep
Never thought I'd fall this deep
Cruel the current, that I float in
Cold the water on my boat

Taste of liquids on my tongue
Could be words from the spasmic song
that I once heard myself sing
Tunes that made me my own king


Cascade redeem, just a blink
Now my boat will never sink
Stuck here on this pile of dirt
Left to bleed here as I'm hurt

They're not going to get me!
They're not going to find me!
I'm detested, I'm a flood
Drowning right here in the soil and mud


As once said, the crude is weld
Mended by the hands compelled
to arise again the form
that was damaged in the storm

Now I crawl here in the mud
Black as night is my dried blood
The circling crowd's forever deaf
as it's been since when I left

Taste of ashes in my mouth
as if from the fires south
As if I ate warmth and light
In this fog there is just blight

999572  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-12-18
Written: (5991 days ago)

The Fool

I turn to what was white, now black
Clicking sounds behind my back

Those that wielded shields then fled
Left me outside where I bled

Alll the lies that I've been fed
Now I wish I was just dead
Instead of dead and dug up, like a corpse

I lost all that I fought for, that I owned


Burden of the others' treaty
They saw me as bait and tool
Assaulted my expections, met my
person like a bloody fool

Therein lies the victim now
Eventual defeat and sorrow
Curse the dire drought of trust
But follow that, still I must


Never was it fair or just
I call for aid, but left now is just dust

A pack of wolves would run alike
Until the alpha male go psyche

Whole my life's been narrow ports
with promises and leads of all sorts
But now I can see past all I was told

Second version did not sound the same

999571  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-12-18
Written: (5991 days ago)

Peeks Will Fade

There's a delusion
that all's been done before
This creates confusion and
controls us even more

No directed highway
leads us to our soul
We can't just run away from all
to reach our destined goal


Though happiness is bliss it's not eternal, you should know
You can not reach a permanent euphoric living glow
The only way to make life count is run past the downhills
In time you will reach lifting winds again that gives you thrills

Since love breeds hate and high meets low it's nothing that will stay
the way it was forever, no, the peeks will fade away
So lift your head, see past the clouds and start to walk again
Passion and sensations come, you'll surely notice when


You might not need devotion
or thrills to make you vast
But all we need is motion
to learn from what is past

Others might deluge you
to imitate their lust
But they can't exclude you
for doing what you must


There are no rules of breathing
that shuns the taste of air
We must know what we're needing
to make our lives more fair

Fictive is the stream that
we all seem to float in
There is no common dream that
someone does not take for sin

999410  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-12-17
Written: (5992 days ago)

Bird in a Cage

In denial, bleach my face
Cannot see beyond the edge
I'm horizon, I'm the deep
To the heavens I'll build a ledge

Where's the gold, the light, the silence?
Why is life this crude and tense?
I would like a different place
Where my soul would float in space

No, no adult, no vile duties
that would make me sore and locked
I would like the sun to shine
like the time when my life rocked


Prudent fucking essence of a being I once shun
Inside was the bird that once was me
I let it out, and what happened was that
my eyes opened, I could see now

Fled did the dead part of me, buried now and gone
Left was this abnormity, this grown up, dire con

I can't repent for nothing, to get back my wings
Can't see past my treaties now, I've promised many things


In the end I'm asking me:
"What if I was someone else?
Someone better, someone free
Would it count as lifestyle stealth?"

Could I ever think again
Make the rules myself and then
set out to find peace and love
Would I then release the dove?

No more adult, no more duties
that has made me sore and locked
I again would see the sun and
all would be like when it rocked

999409  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-12-17
Written: (5992 days ago)

The Slave Era

No one ever cares if someone rots
Left alone in their home pit of stench
No one sees the crying lots
that hide under bridges, or on a bench

Judging by the empathy of man
There will be no sympathy for no one that is weak
Though we seem like doing all we can
We all see the difference as a no-good, smelly freak

No one sees the child in care of basement rules
Nor do we see violence-earned black money tools
Empathy is dead
if there ever was such thing
Our view is thin and red
And we are all one tyrrant king


Narrow-minded fools we are
Cursing all who's not a star
Close our eyes for misery
Make slavery mandatory

Sex and violence, blind intolerance
Racist sects - we're insects!
Famine free, happy family
Industry, hypocrisy

No deliverance for god's lost lambs
We'll be cloned from lab-grown stams!


Waiting for the binear code
to guide us through paradise
and point out our filthy road
towards our final demise

Clueless children of machines
rise above the era of the aging gluttony
Try to understand the scenes
that are shown before you in this nature herecy

No one hear the cries of agony inside their heads
No one smell the lies of sleepless demons in their beds
Humanity fall down
Cold and thirsty to the ground
And we miss the pretty gown
We beg to once more hear the sound

999408  Link to this entry 
Written about Monday 2007-12-17
Written: (5992 days ago)

Whirl

Why does one search
for the ultimate low ecstacy?
When craven souls search to disturb
the cruel and vile sadistic herb

Force to grow the pain to lust
managing the love to dust
Just a mirror image of a lie

Why does the greed
undermine the static need
of one's closeness, of the tribe?
Just give in for the flight bribe

Seldom venom seeks the heart
But the herbs seek now to start
the process that will one day make you die


It will make the heavens whirl
It will make the colors curl
Soon it makes the panic turn
It also makes the sex urge burn

Never did you dream of flying
Never did you felt like dying
Summoning regret to love
Soon you'll tumble like a lustful dove


Fucking like an animal
Lust controls you like a primal
Never did you feel the rage
Locking you inside the cage

The shell of the blind fantasy
of music, lust and harmony
Never could you ever feel shy

But the rage will burst one day
Your soul is now in vast decay
Face is dead, mind is blunt
Inside you are just a cunt

Fucked by nails of no emotion
Caused by crude mind devastation
There will be no words left for 'Good bye'

996862  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-12-04
Written: (6005 days ago)

Maelstrom Of Cynism

It whirls and it gnaws
It makes houserules and laws
and attacks the low to break
it's flaws

It never stops
It never ceases
to indoctrine lower species

Never awakes
Never gazes
upon all the molested places

The frigid greed
The rigid need
is exploiting that on which we feed


Hope to wisdom
for the unwise, diminished
Alas! - The crude ways never fails

Hope to faith
for the enticed, the slaves
Oh, all those dark lies, pretty tales


Maelstrom, maelstrom
of silence, silence
Whirlstorm, whirlstorm
of violence

Cremate Mother, sell out our crest
Never bleach our world conquest
Modify us, so that we'll never die
Mortify, so we'll never cease to lie

Kingdom, kingdom, come our cradle
Our instincts begin to fade
Rape the love and eat the cure
Eat until there's nothing more


We see the blackness in the deep, far away
We also see the lies that we keep at bay
All it takes to wake us up and persuade
is the eruption of the Nothing Decade

We breed and feed and we crave our needs
We pound and we kill to please our will
Starve our fragile shell to mark and sell
We clone our seed, we shred and bleed

996861  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-12-04
Written: (6005 days ago)

Amo Diabolus

I’ve always loved the devils
for their appalling aura
Always loved the Mother Earth
for her wild and brutal core

But the thieves and liars
now infect this world
Sacrifices, dead cold lies
False pledges, feuds - mankind dies!

Diminishing our petty reign
Human race eternally insane

There’re no scars yet of the raid!

No one bleeds for nothing
But we bleed forever venom

There’s no ease yet for disruption!


Nefas Hominis et mortis
Sacrificum veritas rependo

Quia neque deus turpis
Nego sum fui futurus plector!


Abbatis Adustum!
Repere in acerbus et voro!
Omnis hypocrita infesto et theatrum Hominis
Tot furs et peccatus inquam

Mortifera plecto ignarus
Ocolus morbus inservios

Matris Indomitus!
Inquis Veritas atque sapientia!
Ita necolus odium et misericordia
Sordesco qualiter pervadilus

Ita Matris meus deus!



I’ve always hated humans
for their demonic self
How they rape our Mother Earth
Devouring her withered ration

All the virus essence
that is man
exceeding bridges, frigid sought to
even out the borders of drought

Pristine purity portentions
are delusions of old grief

There’s no wisdom in extinction!

Now we bleed for nothing
as we’ve bled forever dust

There’ll be no deliverance!




Latin translation:
(Please note that the Latin grammar above may not be perfectly correct. I don't know Latin, and so directly translated from simple English)

The human sin and death
is Sacrifice of truth redeem
Because no god is morally corrupt
To deny existance is to be punished!


Father of Burning!
You crawl in darkness and gluttony!
Attack all the hypocrites and the theater of Man
So many thieves and sins I say

Deadly things punish the ignorant
The eye disease of the devoted slaves

Mother of the Wild!
You tell the truth and wisdom!
Thus killing hatred and mercy
You become dirty as you are strong

For Mother is my god!

996860  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-12-04
Written: (6005 days ago)

Everlasting Darkness

The world in crisis, so mortal
to the everlasting darkness
Bedeviled, it seems

Benefit a new form of deliverance
Expand in hatred and despair

Severs the lurkers of below
Soon cometh the burning ember glow

Cold, black river of the swine and dirt
It covers the world
in everlasting...


Ssseeds
Growth in warmth of burning meat
Ravens thirst of ink-like bloody veins
Rising now, the horror of the reigns
Ember walls of violent murder stains
Ill-willed symphosium


Dwell in fear - majestic Nemesis of deaf denial
Dare not see the prudent frigid, violate their spore
Give in for the one and true black heretic desire
Dwell in shades of hate forever more

Sickened, forever
So clever and ever
banished and never
to hear those lies again


Damned consuming, feeds on suffocation
Now they’ll never bleed
Rotten breaths of celebration
Feasting on the fallen

Solstice greets the blackened cloak
Pounding, batters soul from tissue
Rapture of the screams, the spawns
crying out man’s thrilling issue

Severs the lurkers of below
Soon cometh the burning ember glow

Cometh too, the river of
the swine and dirt it seems
Here comes now the everlasting...


Ssseeds
Growth in warmth of burning meat
Ravens thirst of ink-like bloody veins
Rising now, the horror of the reigns
Ember walls of violent murder stains
Ill-willed symphosium


Share the crops of good lord master tyrrant
Fly on wings and withered heart so pure
On your knees and say your dark desire
Dwell in shades of hate forever more

Sickened, forever
So clever and ever
banished and never
to hear those lies again

996859  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-12-04
Written: (6005 days ago)

The Foul Inside

The final unfailing prediction of the withered host
Gods embrace you with their dire flood
Succeed by arid reign of those suppressing most
From inside heard a dry and balmy thud


More of the hate that you once shun
The blackness taking out the sun
Facing obliteration yet
The foul that you try to forget, released

Saying prayers out in the air
But inside is the lasting lair
of the being you have ensnared
Embrace the hate you never dared


The final unfailing prediction of the withered host
Gods embrace you with their dire flood
Succeed by arid reign of those suppressing most
From inside heard a dry and balmy thud


Embrace the blooming rage
Convene a pristine scar
Pollute the sheets of purity
Cease to disrupt the sore
Let it bleed

Misanthropic signatory
of volatile breed
A dirge, a crematory
of the loss of need


The final unfailing prediction of the withered host
Gods embrace you with their dire flood
Succeed by arid reign of those suppressing most
From inside heard a dry and balmy thud


Embrace the blooming rage
Convene a pristine scar
Pollute the sheets of purity
Cease to disrupt the sore
Let it bleed

Misanthropic signatory
of volatile breed
A dirge, a crematory
of the loss of need


Forever did you mourn the bliss
You never saw the dark abyss
Forever did the pounding grow
Until it smudged all that you know

Flickering close before your eyes
Whispering of your soon demise
Dead inside, torn from your soul
Finally, let go of the foul


Embrace the blooming rage
The true and mighty rage
Convene a pristine scar
It’s closing from afar
Pollute the sheets of purity
Cease to disrupt the sore
Let it bleed
Let it feed you

Misanthropic signatory of volatile breed
A dirge, a crematory of the loss of need
A divine signatory of demonic breed
The dirge, a crematory of your loss of need

996858  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-12-04
Written: (6005 days ago)

Pure

Vast dirge hymn phenomenon
Puritanical famine song
Tunes of dire blasphemies
Sick and pure toxicities

Theorist of ecstacy
Obliging in destiny
to cleanse out the different
from the vital fundament

For the mortal we impair
Lobbying the blizzard sphere
Into soil of dissuation
Causing treaties suffocation

Deluging authorities
in crisis of a rage release
onto fragile exeedors
We are triggered disruptors


Embrace your darkest fantasies
Emit beloved blasphemies
Curse your listed luxuries
and batter all signatories

Decimate the anti-count
Try to measure love amount
Plant those crops of mismatch pledge
Harvest weeds of a prison hedge

On the verge of annihilation
we suppress manifestation
of the host vampiric self
and the justified life stealth


Wholesale it’s a false presume
to think of a dwindling consume
To think that countering a fume
will hope for a dying herd assume

Will erase the threat of doom
of all that was once in bloom
Arid is the throat of man
Whispering is all we can

Drought of greed and self-disrespect
Evaporated intellect
Reign is zero, none is dead
Those that are, be someones bread

Look ahead, for the shine
One day could that light be thine
Once enlightenment is whole
will you then embrace your soul?

966771  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-08-14
Written: (6117 days ago)

Highland Mist

The highland winds sweeps cold on my chest
Over the cliffs I hear the roaring sea
For those that do not remember me
Early morning breeze descends

Fight, blurry minds emits decay
of that which is said to be good
The mist is like a hood
before my shattered view


Do not cry over that which hurts
Do not weep in ignorance
Just a blink is your tired life's
existance in the bliss

Fires shows the way to shelters
Soon beset and gone
Shine does the sun sometimes
with the peeking of the dawn

I fall


Steep they seem, not natural
the walls of raw, dull stone
Cold the water, cold alone
I await the breeze that gives me

Hope
Tomorrow I'll be none
None alive
Nor in death
None but fragments of a mirror


Do not cry over that which hurts
Do not weep in ignorance
Just a blink is your tired life's
existance in the bliss

Fires shows the way to shelters
Soon beset and gone
Shine does the sun sometimes
with the peeking of the dawn

I fall

966770  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-08-14
Written: (6117 days ago)

Lost in Midst of Nothing

As if the eyes of mine were foreign
I curse the day that I diverged
of all that felt so solemn
The lone despair submerged

I drowned in distance to the I
that hid inside transparent shells
Where do I go to return?
To flee from all those hells?

Way back alone, in draught
of insight what signifies
Life, or what it once meant
or how it one day dies

I see paths that never ends


Lost in midst of nothing
Breathing time away
It's a con forever on myself
The time I never had to understand
I never knew where I misturned
followed none but pale desire
Never could this be undone
I'm free


As if vast worlds trapped inside
flooded me and slew my mind
bent my limbs and moved my feet
To the wind forever bind

Sought to reach the last frontier
Somehow see the outer root
Make myself my spirit master
Travelling uncharted route

Roads of silence embodied me
As result, I'll never see
that which Life shall shine upon
The road that I'll be walking on


Lost in midst of nothing
Breathing time away
It's a con forever on myself
The time I never had to understand
I never knew where I misturned
followed none but pale desire
Never could this be undone
I'm free

 The logged in version 

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