[new beginning]'s diary

942055  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2007-05-24
Written: (6187 days ago)

New song wrote not as good at the first I think but I have spent less time on this, so stills needs perfecting. I think the title will be NO

Dreaming, dreaming of all the good times
All the memoried, I miss
Do not worry, I have taken my beatings
It's a punishment for what I did

(chorus)
My life isn't worth living
Standing here all alone
Now that your gone
One word fucked me up
Now I can't stop this bleeding

I want to forget all this hurt
But it comes back to haunt me
Everytime I see your face
I can't be who you are
And just forget everything
If I can't forgive my self
How can i carry on living

(chorus)
My life isn't worth living
Standing here all alone
Now that your gone
One word fucked me up
Now I can't stop this bleeding

That day you didn't show any emotions
As you walked out of my life
Did you even have a heart or a soul
Did you even think about me after
Or have any regrets
Regrets

(chorus)
My life isn't worth living
Standing here all alone
Now that your gone
One word fucked me up
Now I can't stop this bleeding

I can't stop
I can't stop this bleeding

Here with a knife
As the blood runs
I leave you with my last words
Good bye

941799  Link to this entry 
Written about Wednesday 2007-05-23
Written: (6188 days ago)

Well regretfully I feel like im back in the same old situation strugling.

One of the weirdest things has happened though I am getting to know this girl called Abi Smith and shes seems really nice. Well we have been talking for like 2 months now as well and she invited me to a beach party in newquay but I cant go because i have work.

Instead though I might be going to newquay on the 3rd of june now to hang around with her from 6 30 am til like 10 30 pm and the coach if only going to cost me 7 pounds 20p so quite cheap should be a laugh.

If only it was as easy as what courtney makes everything sound she says just to tell a girl that I like how I feel about her, but yeah like I already know she doesnt feel the same way about me so whats the point right.

940239  Link to this entry 
Written about Thursday 2007-05-17
Written: (6194 days ago)

Well i have been trying to work my life out hahaha.

but yeah oh well i have been trying to arrange me whole week end for now yay and so far it looks like this.

Thursday - going quay club after work with ryan and then goodbodies for a breakfast yummy and then home and bed for like 2 hours before going college.

Friday - pay day yay buying new shirts hehe and then hopefully meeting with dan and stu and the guys and then going cinema to watch a film and then bowling and then rileys for games of pool and drinks and probably food and then hopefully at 9 after ryan finishes work he will join us should be a right laugh. (first time he has met them)Then goodboies for a proper meal and then back to rileys for more pool and drinks and then eventually at like 5 or 6 in the morning get a lift of a drunk stu to my house.

Saturday - get home and have a nap and then wake up, see what my mates are up to and then hang with them till like 5 and then meet toni and go to riley with her and play pool and drink hehe part of her birthday present. Hang with her and mess about maybe give her the rest of her birthday present that she doesnt know about and then at about 11 go back to hers with her and drop her off. Then go to c103 meet up with mates and have a laugh and then goodbodies and have a breakfast and then maybe if we feel like pulling a all nighter go to rileys for the rest of the night. Then catch a taxi home and go to sleep for a few hours befor work.

Man i cant wait i would have seen all my best mates in a week end and i havent seen some off them in weeks and i miss them all so i cant wait. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!

939900  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-05-15
Written: (6195 days ago)

Im in a band and basically we have decided this weird idea that we each should come up with lyrics for songs. We are thinking about trying new things out like different instruments and different vocals and maybe even adding a bit of rap in to it all.

Well this is my first try at writing a song, it has meaning to me might not too anyone else. If you read it then send me a message saying what you think and ways of maybe improving it.

The title is a work in progress, but for now im calling it "a song for toni". This is because I have wrote this song for one of my best friends seeing as it is her birthday soon.

Let me apologize to begin with
Let me apologize for what I'm about to say
But trying to be genuine was harder
But trying to be someone else was harder
But trying to regain your trust was harder than it seemed

Your lips when we kiss say that you love me
Your eyes say that you hate me
Is there nothing you can say
To take this all this pain away
Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me

(chorus)
So if you’re asking me I want you to know…
When my time comes forget the wrong that I have done
I believed someone else could come and save me from myself
But no one would listen cause no one else cared
But it was to late when I realized that somebody was you

I'm my own worst enemy
After my dreaming, I woke with this fear
Stuck in my head again, feels like I will never leave this place
There’s no escape, there’s no escape for me

(chorus 2)
So if you’re asking me I want you to know…
When my time comes forget the wrong that I have done
So now you're gone
I never knew what it was like
To be alone all the time

Keep me in your memory, it’s where I belong
On the surface I fake every smile
Underneath I am breaking down all the time
You are always there for me to suppress the tears
I have never been perfect, but neither have you

(chorus)
So if you’re asking me I want you to know…
When my time comes forget the wrong that I have done
I believed someone else could come and save me from myself
But no one would listen cause no one else cared
But it was to late when I realized that somebody was you

Looking for help somehow somewhere and no one cares
You will do anything to just put me out of my misery

(chorus)
So if you’re asking me I want you to know…
When my time comes forget the wrong that I have done
I believed someone else could come and save me from myself
But no one would listen cause no one else cared
But it was to late when I realized that somebody was you

The things I want to say to you get lost before they come
I hope the actions speak the words I am meaning to say

939898  Link to this entry 
Written about Tuesday 2007-05-15
Written: (6195 days ago)

Well i have never wrote in the here before haha and i have been a member for so fucking long well anyway.

I got the linkin park new album and i think its very good, but it takes a while to get use to there new stuff.

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