Wow! Drama, it has been in my life. That is not good but ya. Now I have a child due in two weeks from today. By the way, forget Russell I have not seen in him in over a year. BJ and I are together still and yes it is his child. Him and I do not live together but we live close to each other. We are moving in with each other after February. I am livign a great life. Forget drama, I have alife to live!!!! 

Committment. That is what I am faced with right now. I have not been the one to deal with that. I have dated guys and after so much time we separate. Now BJ is talking about us moving in together. (Ok, I can deal with that.....) Next month! Ah! That is soon. I have to think about this. (and I have...) The more I do, the more I think it is crazy. (Then there's the one other side...) I may like living with him. It will be a nice step for me. I need to grow up and face the truth. I want to have kids. (later in life...) I want to have a family in a nice, comfortable home. (maybe early 30s (33)...) I want to get married. (maybe late 20s (28)...) I want to move in with the one I love. (maybe early 20s (22)...) But BJ is talking about moving in next month together. (4 years too early) Then he want to get married 2006. (10 years too early). I do not know if I should. I mean I love him, I do! But committment and me just do not mix. I need advice!!!!!!!!

Guess what? I was right. I did love russell but we had a fight and he called me things that coul dhave gotten him killed. I have been going out with a guy named BJ for over half a year now and we are engaged. This coming up next 2 or 3 months we are moving in a house together. January 27, 2006 we will be married. 

This is bad. I think I may be falling for my boyfriend Russell but how can that be. Wait, no I can't. I don't believe in love so rah! I am not in love but I do really like him.