For anyone who comes here just passing through... Sorry there's not much here beyond poems.

Gray Scale Pain


I don’t hate people
I can’t hate at all
Somewhere under all this junk is a strict guideline
I think I made it up when I was eight
No way am I ever gonna hate
Nevertheless, I hurt
I hurt physically
Emotionally
In every way
All I do is hurt
All day, everyday
So this is what they meant by pain
Pain is all I have now
I hope it goes away soon
It’s killing me
Rule one: Breathe
Rule two: Don’t hate
Rule three: No disrespect
I don’t like these rules, but I try to follow
Why I made them up, I don’t know
But I have to do what I say
Or else I’ll wallow in pity
Die in a second under the pressure
Who said I had no reason to live
Well, that was me
I know, it’s bad
But I have to stay sad
If some one else is to see my smile
If I truly was happy
No one else would be
So I fake it all out
My mask is so pretty
Smiles and laughs
Like a straight line that goes on forever
I hope to kill this flower
I never liked roses
They gave me more pain
But I don’t like myself
So we must be the same
I never knew how much I was
Of all this gray scale pain

Cold as Laughter

Lasting like dying
Hoping like flying
Warm as death
Silence in all
Close as death fall
Warm as death
Lasting like dying
Hoping like flying
Warm as death
Fate's ring
Heaven's wing
Warm as death
Warm as death
everything
Cold as laughter
nothing stays
oldest ways
Warm as death
sore as hell
Heaven's will
child's games
warm as death
perfection's name
Lucy Jane
warm as death
Cold as laughter
there's nothing like
coffee and manga
warm as death
Cold as laughter


Restrictions

Stop this nonsense
Remember no lies
no apologies and no goodbyes
Kick start the day
Some old-fashioned way
Remember your lines
You're not aloud to cry
Say you're lies, say you're sorries
Say you're good-byes
Get on with your life
Leave room for suprises
And forget about the prizes
No apologizing
Remember the rules
You're not aloud to cry
No good-byes
Remember your mind
You can't think aloud
Absolutely no lies
Remember there's no script
So open your big mouth
and say what you want to say


Spit and Rinse Me

Forgotten in the river of rhyme
feed me to the sands of time
eat my soul and cleanse my mind
try my luck and feed it to you
Let this plan all fall through
Meet with the enemy at night
Try to remember you came to fight
Walk through the dark with your false light
Look down on me
Then beat me out of sight
Forgotten in the river of rhyme
feed me to the sands of time
eat my soul and cleanse my mind
try my luck and feed it to you
Spit me rinse me
Let me fall
Spit and rinse me
Through it all


Nothing

Sleep my life away
Death is here to stay
Pretend it's all okay
Live for yesterday
Make the best of nothing
Tell you hate your latest fling
Buy a life because they're free
Fall in love and then kill me
Just you wait and you will see
My death brings me closer
Not to hell, but to you


These are all from my DJ* and are written on various days. Some are older.
(*- Daily Journal, for homeschool.)

To Be Happy

All you need to do
To be happy
Is to smile everyday
And pretend that nothing's wrong
Then all of it will fade
And you can just pretend life is normal
But for those in reality
Remember it won't get too bad
And once it gets to it's worst
That it can only get better
So hold on to yourself
And remember there is nothing
Not worth living for
To not be happy about.


Be Home

That was all he said
That was all he did
That was all he wanted
That was all he needed
That was all he had
That was all he heard
That was all he was
That was all he got
That was all he said,
Then he left me here.
And all I knew,
was that he would very soon,
be home.


Ode to You

Never give up
Never let go
Never pretend
Never hear what I say
When I say I hate you
Never listen to them
When they say you're bad
Never forget that whoever you like
Boy or girl girl or boy
That that is who you like
No matter who you are
If you're gay if you're straight
If you're bi if you're lies
That's who you are.
Be true to yourself
And to everyone else,
Follow these rules,
this is my ode to you.


Manipultation

Follow your dreams.
What about nightmares?
Believe in yourself.
What about my friends?
Never give up.
On what? When?
Never let go.
Am I hanging on?
Hello desperate world,
and welcome home.
This place is a lie
and you're standing alone.
But remember that all I say,
is twisted truth,
and know that what I know,
is pure manipulation.

I have boredom.
It's now a disease.
I was talking to you earlier.
Just felt like screaming please.
Not that I want to raise my voice.
I'm afraid of that, you see?
I just wanna espress this pain.
I wanna have a release.
It's been forever since I've done so.
Since I've been alone so long.
For about two years now, I've only had poetry and song.
My writing brings me everywhere, and nowhere all at once.
My art is beautiful, in some one else's eyes.
But my poetry is always good, it's far better than nice.
Because I have no boundaries, what I write is what I write.
It can come straight from my mind, or from somebody else's.
It doesn't matter who else likes it, it's mine and mine alone.
And no matter how hard they try, this deepness is not possible to be cloned.
-My heart, my soul.
Shion-san.

I feel the pain.
It's not mine.
I feel the pain.
I'm not sane.
I feel the pain.
Make it stop.
I feel the pain.
I've reached the top.
I feel the pain.
It just won't fade.
I feel the pain.
It's not mine.
I feel the pain.
It's deep inside.
I feel the pain.
Please make it stop.
I feel the pain.
I hate you not.
I feel the pain.
It's so much more.
I feel the pain.
It's pass the door.
I feel the pain.
It's closing in.
I feel the pain.
It's my soul's sin.
I feel the pain.
It's closer to me.
I feel the pain.
It I can see.
I feel the pain.
Getting closer again.
I feel the pain.
Not again.
I feel the pain.
It's touching me.
I feel the pain.
I'm dead now.
I feel the pain.
Why can't you see?
-Pain that kills
Shion-san

Nothing like everything is as it seems, look all around you and notice your dreams, read a million pieces of poetry, knowing what you read is different from what I read, tell a story so pure, so true and so wise, it leads straight to your personal demise, never give up, and listen forever, for I think today's the day we all get good wheather.

The artist does not thrive, it starves and then it works. It's hard to understand the artist, for the artist rarely speaks, but try to see what it says through what it creates.

Maybe there is something in the nothing we can't do. Maybe there is something old withing our something new. Trust there are changes. Things that happen differently. But what if I told you, nothing is ever free?

5PR34|) J4 \/\/|/\/G5

Give up while you're ahead and you'll never achieve.

Nothing new is nothing old. Nothing good is nothing bad and everything can always be sad.

Everything I ever wanted was given to someone else to wave in front of my face.

No one sees the crying wings until the light reveals beyond their fears and songs.

Write for living, kill for nothing.

When nothing is new, look around you, you'll see the fresh new start you always wanted.

Do you wish to decieve me with your nothingness? Do you wish to see my everything? Is it all gone for you, so you come to me? Well go away, there's nothing to see.

Go away, please stay. Nothing's new, nothing to say.

There is nothing better than an open book. The words, the sentences, the plot, the characters. Yet there is nothing more sad than an open book. A book with nothing to hide, yet so many secrets it can not share. It waits for you to finish, it cannot laugh or cry or feel, but once you close that book, once you are done, that book has nothing left to give to you. It cannot repeat itself without your help and it cannot make you read, it must be hard to be a closed book. But in a way we all know, what it's like to be gone through, torn into tiny pieces and pecked apart at our creases then shoved back to the shelves. What it means to be forgotten 'till read by someone else. We all have that gut feeling, even if it has been covered, that we have been forgotten once and left to collect such dust. I give this mold of words so fine, to my sister's valentine.
-Shion-san to Chronic_Dark-

Nothing isn't what it seems, broken feathers on flawless wings, nightmares in the best of dreams, evil eyes with the sweetest gleams, look beyond the coat you wear, and see we all wear underwear.
-A memory of so now-

I have fought against wars, I have hidden my eyes, I have opened my door to a very new suprise, I have waited for the sky to fall while eating on a chocolate ball. I have seen a fully grown man cry, I have seen my universe crumble and die, but best of all of all I've seen, I have seen my reality, become my dream.
-Optimistic-

As I fall I look up and as I rise I look down. There is nothing between me and the ground.I have looked at blue skies and I've looked at the clouds, I have even seen snow in the skies and on the ground. I've watched many heros tumble and fall, I have seen many villians captured by hate. I have imagined much, including the voice by my side, and through it all, regained my lost pride.
-To My Mind, Basha Lied-

Nothing to give, I have nothing to offer. I played on my flute and I gave you my soul, I waited as I saw you walk up to me, from little dot to full shadow. I looked up to you and you saw all my shallow fears deep within. But how was I to know, you were my first friend?
-Kurayami to Y.U.-

It took me forever to believe you were gone. It took me forever to believe I was wrong. It took me forever to just walk away. It took me forever to beg you to stay. It took me forever to think of the words, and it didn't take a second for them to be heard.
-No more nothing to be heard-

This is nothing like home, but so familiar, I am gone...